Donkey Kong 64 all messed up!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters because Chunky couldn't fit in my suitcase on the way home from DK64 Island. Chapter 1: The Intro

Squawks: (Flies into Dk's cabin) Squawk, Squawk! DK wake up! K.Rool has…

Boom!

DK: Fu**ing Crows! *(Taken from the movie The Craic)

Squawk: (small voice) Dk… Go outside and see your lazy dad. (Dies)

Dk: Aw, Sh! t. Now I killed the poor thing.

Matt: (Appears) Hiya. I'm the author of this story and I'll be helping you and your lazy @$$ friends beat those slimy, filthy leech ridden reptilians..

 Kremling Viewer: Hey, I resent that!

Matt:  (furious) Yeah well resent this! (Pulls out chain gun and drills him)

Monkey Viewers: YAY!

Matt: Anyway I also came here to tell you the reason for this shamble. It all started when fat @$$ K. Rool decided to come back for some revenge. Yet on the journey over here he crashed his ship and damaged the engine. So now that the fat fu**er is shipwrecked he went and stole your rotten bananas and kidnapped them lasty @$$ friends of yours!

Monkey Viewers: GASP!!!

Matt: So you have to enrol on a diabolical journey to recover the bananas and rescue those friends of yours. Are you up for it?

Dk: ZZZZZZZZZZZ… Oh… What…???

Matt: :O Just go see Cranky you faggotitis suffering primate. (Slap him so hard he flies out the window. Revives Squawks)

What did u think. This is my first fanfic so don't be a rock hard critic.