Chapter 01 – Something has changed

The first time Charlie Weasley realised there was something wrong with him was during his fifth year. He was sitting at the edge of the Forbidden Forest at the end of his quidditch practice, it was getting late but he liked to stare at the forest, just thinking, something he was doing a lot lately. His thoughts were focused on various things, at first he thought about the Quidditch Cup, then about his marks, but he knew those worries were secondary, he knew there was something troubling him and it wasn't about quidditch or marks or professors or something similar, he knew the problem was him and what he thought he was feeling.

He was fifteen years old and it seemed that all around him his friends were talking more and more about girls, they fantasized about them, they dated them, it seemed like every conversation, no matter the topic, ended up being about which girl was hotter or who was dating who; and Charlie, although he tried, couldn't bring himself to think about girls that way. He wasn't stupid, he obviously knew that boys dated girls, that Bill was dating a girl from Ravenclaw, but he couldn't see himself doing it, kissing a girl seemed the most stupid if not disgusting thing to do, and now he was getting to the conclusion that unless he was some kind of freak of nature he must like boys instead, but Charlie couldn't bring himself to elaborate on those thoughts, he was scared about their meaning, of what they implied. In the wizarding world that idea was almost repulsive, something unspeakable, the few wizards who tried to express that kind of feelings were often met with disgusted looks, rejection and felt ostracized. They often chose to leave the wizarding world to live among muggles were homosexuality was better accepted or decided to marry a witch and form a family anyway, and live a lie for the rest of their lives.

Those were Charlie's thoughts those days, he felt lost, he didn't have anyone to talk to, the thought of talking to a friend or his parents made him shiver from head to toe, so that wasn't an option, especially when he wasn't even sure if he really felt that way, he was confused and scared. Scared because he felt that his friends were starting to suspect something, after all he was charming, an excellent Seeker, he was probably one of the most popular students in Hogwarts at the moment and that attracted all kinds of attention, especially girl's attention, and it was getting harder and harder to avoid them, their questions and propositions, some were more innocent than others, but still, he didn't want them... But lately he was finding it harder and harder to avoid Portia, a fifth year student from Ravenclaw. She was a rather sweet girl, but she was, by far, the most insistent girl Charlie had met so far, and that was saying a lot. His friends now referred to her as "your stalker", that's how bad things were. The worse thing was that he was running out of excuses to tell her, and she wasn't the one to take "no" for an answer…

A sudden noise from the forest startled him and stole away his thoughts, and Charlie suddenly realised that he was feeling cold and that if he didn't hurry he'd probably miss dinner. Trying not to think much about his current situation he went back to the castle, to the noisy Great Hall and sat at his usual spot trying to blend in, but failing at it.

'Oi, Charlie! Where were you?' said Noel, his best friend. A fifth year like him, Noel and Charlie had met right after the shorting hat ceremony and they have been friends since then. 'Hiding from "the stalker" again?' laughed Noel, signalling Charlie to sit down by his side.

'Nah. Just having a walk, thinking,' said Charlie, suddenly regretting his choice of words. 'Um… about Quidditch strategies for the next match,' he quickly corrected himself.

'Oh, okay, well don't worry about it, mate, you know Hufflepuff don't stand a chance,' said Noel.

'Well, as our captain and Seeker he has to worry, Noel,' said Sheila, a fifht year like them, she was a Chaser and a friend of Charlie's.

'Okay, Shelia, I was just trying to cheer him up, you know? Get his mind off things,' said Noel.

'As if you could…' said Sheila, Charlie thought her answer was a bit intriguing.

"Was she suspecting something?" thought Charlie. He concluded she couldn't because she didn't make any more comments about it and Noel didn't make her elaborate.

'So, have you finished the Potions assignment? I heard Snape was warning the Ravenclaws this morning about it, in case they didn't finish it on time, as if that would happen…' said Noel. At his words Charlie dropped his fork and cursed under his breath.

'What did I say?' said Noel, looking scared.

'Oh, Charlie, don't tell me you forgot?' said Sheila in surprise. 'Come on, we've been talking about it all week!' Somehow Charlie doubted that. 'How could you forget? You like Potions class!'

'Merlin! You'll never hear the end of it from Snape,' said Noel.

'Thank you for your support, Noel,' said Charlie, without another word he rose up from his seat and went straight to the library.

'Do you think he's mad at me' asked Noel to Sheila.

'Well… Maybe if you go help him and stop teasing him about Portia…'

'Yeah, I'll do that, see you later,' said Noel and walked away just to get back again. 'But not the thing about Portia, I need to tease him about something, right?' With that he gave her a wink and walked away.

Charlie arrived at a deserted library; he went straight to the Potions section and sat down to work.

'Oi, Charlie. I'm sorry mate, do you need any help?' said Noel when he arrived at Charlie's side trying not to startle him.

'It's alright, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself, don't know why I forgot about the bloody assignment,' he said a little mad. 'And don't worry, I'll manage, Snape will know if you help me with this.'

'Yeah, you probably right, but let me know if you need any help, okay?'

'Thanks,' whispered Charlie and Noel left the library leaving behind a very busy Charlie.

It was quite late at night when Charlie decided to climb up to his dorm room. His potions essay made but not great, he hoped that it'd be enough.

Charlie dreaded waking up in the morning, because that'd mean that it was Friday and the first class of the day was Potions. He almost didn't eat anything at breakfast and felt like a house ghost on his way down to the dungeons. When he entered the class Snape was surprisingly already in and was asking the students to hand in their essays before the start of class. Charlie heard some people complaining, they were probably hoping to have a few minutes to complete their work or at least to compare it with others, but professor Snape was not having any of that. And to Charlie, he looked extremely pleased with the student's reaction to this new "technique".

When everybody was settled, professor Snape put up a potion in the board and asked them to do it. Charlie set to work trying not to worry about the fact that Snape was already looking through the assignments.

'What's wrong, Charlie?' whispered Noel next to Charlie, trying not to get noticed.

'Snape's already looking at the assignments,' said Charlie, looking mortified.

'Well, sooner or later he was going to, right?'

'Yeah, well, I was hoping it was going to be later.' Charlie stopped looking when Snape looked up from his papers, but the professor didn't notice him. 'Besides, what if he reads mine? He'll know it's crap.' At this point Charlie was panicking.

'Oh, come on, stop looking at him, he'll look at yours if you keep it up.' Noel looked up, professor Snape was still looking at the parchments. 'Or worse, detention.'

'Yeah, you're right; I'll concentrate on the potion,' said Charlie finally.

'That's better,' concluded Noel, and they both set to work in silence.

After a while they were both immersed in their work and didn't realise when the bell signalled the end of the class. Everybody was gathering their things and handing in their vials when professor Snape rose from his seat.

'Mr. Weasley, a word if you please,' said a very solemn professor. Charlie felt suddenly very sick and about to throw up, but with a reassuring look from Noel he stayed behind and waited for everyone to leave the class to get closer to Snape's desk.

'I hope that potion you've made today is not as mediocre as your assignment, Mr. Weasley,' noted Snape. 'You care to say anything about it? Because I have my own theory.' Charlie didn't dare speak, he thought it was the better option. 'Well, not trying to deny it, are you? I'll tell you my theory, then. I think, no, I know that you are too worried with your celebrity life to do a simple potion's assignment,' Snape stressed the word simple. 'And I know that you went to the library at the last minute and copied this…' he took Charlie's parchment with a look of disgust plastered on his face. 'And thought that you'd get away with it, didn't you?' Silence. 'Speak!' shouted Snape, now more angry than ever.

'I… I'm sorry, sir,' mumbled Charlie.

'Is that all you have to say? That's your defence?'

'I forgot about it, sir, I'm terribly sorry,' Charlie decided that the best option was to confess, after all Snape already knew what he had done, he didn't know how, but he knew anyway, and there was no point in denying it.

'Well, you'll serve detention with me for a week, and I'll inform your Head of House,' sentenced Snape. 'You may go now.'

'What time, sir?'

'After supper, now go.' Charlie didn't need to be told again, he picked up his bag and he went to his next class, he was already a little late but figured that professor Binns wouldn't notice anyway. When he arrived he sat next to Noel and took out his books.

'What happened?' asked Noel.

'Detention.'

'What? Why? That's so unfair!'

'Well, I don't know how, but he knew my assignment was a last minute thing,' said Charlie rather sombrely.

'That git!' almost shouted Noel, which gained him a look from Binns.

'Shh, try to be quiet, Noel,' said Sheila from the other end of the table.

'Sorry,' apologized Noel.

'We'll talk later, don't want any more detentions,' said Charlie, and they both try to concentrate on not falling asleep for the next hour.

At lunch Charlie went straight to the Great Hall trying not to think about next week's prospect. His week hadn't started well and it was getting worse and worse. When he arrived at Gryffindor table news of his detention had spread like wild fire.

'What's going to happen to quidditch practice, Charlie?' said John Porter, a seventh year old, who wanted to leave Hogwarts with four Quidditch Cups under his arm.

'Um... Well, I'll have to miss practice, I guess, Sheila can be captain in my absence, I haven't thought about it yet,' said Charlie trying to avoid all the dirty looks that some students were throwing him.

'Don't worry, Charlie, don't listen to them, besides, it's only Hufflepuff,' said Sheila trying to sound supportive.

'Yeah, mate, after all it's you the one who's in detention, and well, maybe McGonagall can do something about it, after all, you did hand in the assignment,' said Noel.

'It was copied, almost word by word from a textbook, Noel...' said Charlie rather irritated.

'You copied it? Word by word?' Charlie nodded to Sheila's surprise. 'Oh, Charlie, you know better than that... You knew Snape would notice.'

'I know, that's why I was hoping he wouldn't look at it… Besides I tried to make it look good, but I didn't have time, okay? Just give it a rest,' sighed Charlie. 'Please?'

'Fine. Sorry,' said Sheila defeated, she wanted to add a thing or two, but she stopped herself, it wouldn't do any good to Charlie. He knew he was being a bit harsh with them, but he just needed time to figure out some things, but it seemed as though something was always getting in the way.

'Oh, no Charlie, don't look,' said Noel. 'Run while you can.'

'Too late,' said Sheila looking sorry for him.

'Bloody hell, she made a run for it as soon as she saw you…' whispered Noel, as Portia was getting closer and closer.

'Oh, hi Charlie, I thought it was you,' said a rather cheerful Portia.

'Yeah right,' said Noel, which gained him a very serious look from Sheila and a nudge.

'Hi, Portia, how are you doing?' said Charlie trying to ignore Noel's comments.

'I heard about what happened in Potions, I'm sorry about it. But if you needed help you only had to ask,' said Portia, sounding too sweet for Charlie's taste.

'No, I was just…' Charlie thought for a second what to say. 'Quidditch's been keeping me busy, that's all.' He hoped that would be enough.

'Well, since you don't need any help with Potions but I'm still interested in being with you, would you like to go with me on the next Hogsmeade weekend?' She was being more forward than ever, noted Charlie.

'Uh, well, I'll let you know. Uh, since I'm having detention I might not be able to go out, I might have to catch up on essays and stuff…' Charlie hoped that would be a good excuse.

'Fine, but, just so you know, I'm not going to wait forever,' said Portia sounding a little too mad for Charlie's taste. And with that she walked away.

'I hope not,' mumbled Noel, which gained him another nudge from Sheila. 'What? It's true, I mean, he's clearly not interested, can't she see that?' Noel sounded rather annoyed, he was tired of Portia's attempts to gain Charlie's interest. 'Maybe you should go out with her, Charlie?' Noel looked from Charlie to Portia. 'I mean, that way she could really see that things wouldn't work between the two of you.'

'I guess I'll think about it,' said Charlie sounded defeated. 'Look, I'm going to the common room, I'm not hungry anymore.' With that he walked out of the Great Hall leaving behind two worried looking friends. He wasn't in the mood to deal with their questions, after all he thought Noel had a point, he could go out with Portia, just this once, and then he could really see, and hopefully her too, that he wasn't interested in her. But deep down he knew he didn't need to go out with her to know he wasn't interested, he just wasn't ready to admit what that really meant.

The rest of the day and weekend passed in a blur to Charlie, he wanted to make the most of it. First of all he needed to catch up on his assignments, after all he was going to spend all his evenings in Snape's dungeons for the next week and he didn't know if Snape would let him do his class work. And most of all he wanted to have extra Quidditch practices to make sure that everybody understood the moves he wanted to put in place for the next match. And last but not least, he wanted to avoid Bill of all things, so far he was succeeding, he couldn't avoid Percy, even at twelve that boy knew how to throw disappointed looks and he could only hope that word hadn't got to his mum. But as he was approaching the common room he bumped into the one person he wanted to avoid the most, Bill.

'So, I heard what happened, why didn't you tell me?' asked Bill.

'I'm sorry, I wanted to, but I've been busy and besides, I felt... um...' Charlie couldn't bring himself to finish that sentence. He didn't like feeling as a disappointment, and he didn't want to upset Bill, after all he'll be taking his NEWTs this year and he didn't want to add more worries to him.

'You felt what? Ashamed?' Charlie nodded. 'Don't be silly, okay? You should've told me, I mean if you're having trouble with Potions I could've helped you.'

'No, no,' Charlie interrupted him. 'I just forgot about it...' Charlie bit his tongue, he realised his mistake, it was better for him if Bill thought he was having trouble with Potions, than to have to elaborate on the reason why he's been distracted.

'You forgot?' asked Bill incredulously. 'That's not like you, Charlie, what's going on?' asked Bill worriedly.

'Nothing, I swear, it's just that I've been distracted, um...' Charlie tried to come out with the most credible excuse. 'It's this girl you know...'

'Oh!' exclaimed Bill. 'Well, in that case, don't worry about it, there's plenty of girls to go around. Try to focus on your schoolwork, that's the most important thing right now, you have your OWLs too, you know.'

'Yes, you're right, it won't happen again. I promise,' with that said, Bill seemed to relax a little.

'Besides, I won't be able to stop Percy again sending word to mum about it.'

'He did what?' said Charlie incredulously.

'Oh, come on, you know how he is, but don't worry I caught him on time. Anyway, got to go, some of us take our school work seriously,' said Bill with a wink. 'Good luck with Snape.'

'I'll need it.'

On Monday evening a rather unhappy and dishearten Charlie Weasley was heading to the dungeons to his first detention of the week with professor Snape, and he didn't notice that someone was following him.