Creeping Ivy

By the Overlord of Fallen Angels

Disclaimer: Baby no own Soul Calibur, goo-goo-gaa-gaa

Genre: Humour/Adventure

Summary: Lady Isabella Valentine encounters various SC2 characters that have to help her stop a very unpleasant plot against Queen Janet the 24th and the other Royal Families of this AU Europe. (Of my creation, so TM to you)

A/N: This is an AU, it's set in a universe far, far, away yet really close.because I said so. All out weirdness

Lady Isabella Valentine surveyed the party with total boredom. She wasn't the social butterfly her mother had been. Cranston her butler had convinced her to go to this little soiree. She would make sure to leave a lot of dirty dishes for him.

Ivy slowly descended the stairs in her pink gown that displayed her ankles.and the rest of her legs. This was scandalous in the party circles and already Ivy could hear the whispers around her from the women. She snapped out her black and purple fan with the sound of a gunshot.

Since her fathers death her riches had been depleted.but she'd mended all that. As a truly brilliant alchemist and student of the occult (the next person to hiss witch at her back would find a red hot poker stuffed into an unpleasant bodily cavity.and not a nostril either) she'd found a few ways around that.no comment.

'Lady Isabella!' cooed a voice.

'Lady Beatrice!' Ivy said with a mock smile. She had been taught three things in life when dealing with her mother's etiquette lessons.

(1) Always leave it to a man

(2) Always be ladylike and truthful

(3) _Always_ let people take things for face value

Ivy had only bothered to keep number (3) because when someone took something for face value, there was an 80% they'd get it a mile off and a 19% chance they'd be off by a few steps.

A few steps, that was all Ivy needed to manipulate a person. She strode towards Lady Beatrice; she embraced the woman in the red dress and kissed inches from each cheek as her Ladyship did the same, as was the fashion in Paris. Because everyone copied the French!

'Darling I haven't seen you since Paris last spring!'

'I had some things to take care of Beatrice' Ivy said casually. 'You know, glamorous and important.'

'Really dear? Well at least you've started attending parties more often these days, actually dear there's someone I want you to meet! Raphael dear! Raphael!'

The man turned around. His pointed features and cold blue eyes met the sharp gaze of Ivy. 'Raphael dear, this is Isabella, of the London Valentine's.'

'Ah yes, your father died recently, followed by your mother' he said. 'A most tragic happening my condolences. Your father was a most eccentric person'

'I hope that is not meant as an insult' Ivy said swiftly. That vase looked near enough to calmly bash him over the head with.no! Not at a party! Maybe when he went outside she'd find a large rock.NO! Bad idea!

'Quite the contrary, he was eccentric, ergo an interesting fellow. Slightly obsessed but who is not in this world?'

'Perhaps I am not obsessed?' she suggested.

'My dear Lady Valentine.may I call you Isabella?' he began, pausing for an answer.she nodded. He continued. 'Did you or did you not give two dukes and a Count a heart attack by displaying your ankles in public?'

Isabella shifted gracefully and raised a hand to his face. 'To the point Monsieur' she purred seductively.

'Are you not obsessed with making waves in this boring little social lake?'

'Lakes have currents.rarely what could be called waves.' Ivy laughed.

'True.but that makes your actions all the more impressive in outcome'

Ivy trailed her gloved fingers to his chin and casually shut his mouth. 'Flattery gets you most places.but not my bedchambers.'

And with that she strode away. Beatrice scurried up after her. 'Magnificent specimen isn't he? And single! A bachelor for all 29 years of his life!'

'Isn't it obscene for a lady of 25 to marry? In short is it not a bit "late" to quote the good countess Malonjiez' she tossed her white hair towards the woman. 'It's not my fault that I've buried three husbands already.'

She was quite sure that at least two had been dead.

The countess froze as Beatrice and Ivy passed by, caught mid gossip, her mouth flapped like a fishes. Ivy tilted her head in the Countess's direction and gave the woman a reason to search for a drink.

Ivy took a seat on a sofa and Beatrice sat in beside her. 'Ivy, darling you were married at 17.as is the appropriate fashion.you had three husbands, indeed older and all rich.you are sole heiress to their vast wealth.do you not desire someone to share it with?'

'Beatrice, darling, I have as much need for another husband as Duke Henry of York needs that oversized boil on his nose'

Ivy crossed her legs firmly giving a signal the conversation was over. Beatrice shook her head. 'Well I don't like the fact you have that enormous home in the country and insist on allowing the boathouse to be used as a clinic for the lower classes!'

Ivy shook her head. Her white hair shimmered beautifully as she thought about Lady Beatrice Hemingsly of London.

She wasn't a bad person as far as the upper classes went.she knew her Butlers first name, her (clean) servants last names and when shrieking for what she wanted didn't work. She was one of the few people Ivy could stand (for periods of time within reason) while at a party.

'I opened that clinic in the boathouse because I have three boathouses on said estate. And secondly, the fact they needed it is a major factor'

'Thank Heavens you built that other road and entrance for them.I personally wouldn't want them coming through my garden. And as another matter, you should have a man in your town home, that horrible murderer is still on the loose.that Cutter of London, he prays on women you know!'

There was an "A" instead of an "E" in that.

'Should I worry if he kneels on my and praises his religion?' Ivy asked with her voice becoming less and less interested.

Beatrice blinked in a confused manner.

Ivy shook her head again. 'Beatrice, I believe another guest has arrive, go and greet her.'

'Oh my goodness! Yes!' exclaimed Beatrice scurrying towards the ballroom doors as a servant announced the entrance of a short, balding, plump, uniformed Colonel with a monocle and his tall thin sour faced wife with a steely grey bun.

Ivy took the opportunity to sneak out into the rose garden. She slipped through the double doors and breathed in the midnight blue air of the hours of darkness.

Her skin was practically white in the moons gaze. Her hair shone majestically as she examined the red rose. Cupping the blossom in her dainty fingers she sniffed the aroma with a smile. And then she paused; something strange was happening.she could feel it in her minds eye. Apparently it was a gift. She gazed around as her eyes pierced the darkness; her ears caught the sounds of heavy breathing. She slowly paced to the corner and spotted the four men dart over the wall and entered the servants' entrance. They were unmistakeably carrying swords therefore they were there to kill or rob or both if the option arose.

Unless they were the bread delivery men bringing the oddly shaped novelty bread.she doubted it.

===Inside=== 'Raphael'

'Yes Eloise?' Raphael asked as he observed Lady Isabella through the window, she was standing at the corner of the terrace.

'Uncle Raphael! Ecoutez!' she insisted firmly. Raphael looked at his niece, she was just turned eighteen, her black hair was tied up as always and she wore an off-the-shoulder black gown. Her pale skin was sharply contrasted to the black and her icy blue eyes had locked his firmly.

This was Lady Eloise Libertine DeRoche. Her "Uncle" was actually the man she had returned to the courts of France and England using her incredible powers of persuasion.and a low-necked blouse.

Raphael rolled his eyes and turned to her. 'What is it mon amis?'

'I am not feeling well, if the Queen should turn up you must act as my medium, simply tell her I retired, to a room, with a headache and am most unhappy that I could not remain for the rest of Lady Beatrice's Party. And remember to kiss her ring for me'

'Shall I curtsey as well?' Raphael snipped dryly.

'Cher' Eloise said gently. 'Don't make me regret saving you from those guards in Madrid'

She turned and with a rustle of black silk she departed into the crowd. Raphael returned his attention to the figure in the garden. She moved seductively through the windows and glanced around, the long pink scarves around her neck extended from the collar with the large emerald in it.the fluttered and gave a strangely angelic aura around her.

Like the wings of a moth, he murmured inwardly.

There was a sudden silence as the fanfare blew and Queen Janet entered. Her red hair was tied up firmly in a mass of curls with pearls throughout and a diamond tiara set on her head. Her gowns were cream and faded gold in colour; her skin was pale and her eyes were beady and brown.

'You majesty' Lord Hemingsly said with a bow. 'It is a great pleasure for your grace to bless us with her presence.'

The Queen gave a short nod and paced up the floor. The large fanned collar of her dress bobbled and probably slapped the back of her neck. She gestured and the music began Raphael snorted as it did, everything was so in control for her, lord only knows one day anyone could turn off the light with a clap of their hands.

Ivy watched with the eyes of a cat, a particularly knowing one, and as she watched she judged.luckily she didn't cough up a hairball like a cat.

Then she saw it the dagger blade! She reacted fast.

'Entangle!' she exclaimed.

The party stared at her as she snapped the sword out. The bodyguards took it in the wrong manner and rushed at her.

'Halt in the name of the Queen!' exclaimed the man.

'Oh no' she groaned. She somersaulted over the guard and kicked him in the back with her heel. 'I'm not the villain!'

She spun and repeated her attack command for the sword. The whip snared the arm of the assassin and dragged him to the ground. He shouted in pain as she snapped the whip back into sword form.

'Now, where are your friends?' she asked.

'Ivy, what on earth are you doing with that ghastly weapon?' Beatrice exclaimed. 'Saving the queen' Ivy replied shortly and twisted to look upwards. The Assassins were above her, on the ceiling. They crawled along swiftly and with purpose, like spiders they clutched the blades in their teeth.

She took a step back and ran a hand through her hair. 'Ha-ha-ha-ha' she chuckled darkly. 'I like that.'

'Guards! Protect the queen!' Sir Robert of Greenwich, the bodyguard of the queen, shouted. The guards immediately stormed out in front of Ivy. She growled in anger but a firm hand on her shoulder forbid her to move any further. Sir Robert shook his head.

'Leave this to the men'

'That's rule number one of etiquette' she said as he moved past her. 'Too bad I flunked' she added under her breath.

The assassins landed, she noted that there was only three. The other must have been taken out. They wore purple, green and brown respectively. Green man surged forwards and with a swift slice removed one of the guard's arms. The man screamed as his blood spilled. The assassins made short work of the guards, leaving Sir Robert out numbered three to one.

'Idiot' sighed Ivy. The assassins knocked Sir Robert to the ground. With glee the man in Brown raised his sword and laughed.

'Naughty boy!'

Ivy's whip coiled around the man's throat. She dragged him backwards and placed a foot on his chest. 'Play dead'

The whip crackled with purple lightening and the body under her foot convulsed in a huge seizure of screams. Sniffing Ivy looked at the other two.

'Now gentlemen, who's next?'

The pair looked at each other and rushed forwards at her. Ivy snapped Valentine with a flick of her wrist, a scrape appeared across the chest of one man as she curled the whip across her shoulders and slowly moved, like she were dancing. The attack came, and Ivy twirled, the whip cracked out and slammed across the man's cheek and gave a crack of dislocated bone. Ivy cackled.

'Prepare yourselves!'

She crouched and slid her whip along the ground, it glowed as the man ran at her, as he reached her she tugged the whip and flipped him into the air.

'Strangle!' she commanded.

The whip leapt at the airborne man and twisted around his neck. With a sharp tug she slammed him into the ground.

'HAH!' shrieked the other assassin from behind her.

'No escape!' a voice exclaimed.

The swish of the blade as it hissed through the air was defined by its power. The man fell to one side as the slender silver point slashed through his stomach and forced him into his death throes.

Ivy looked over her shoulder.

Raphael spun the blade in his fingers and slid it into its sheath. 'Et voila mon amis' he said in a seductive tone. Ivy rose.

'Oh Richard! How could you betray the queen!' Sir Robert exclaimed lifting the first man that Ivy had disarmed by the collar.

'He's been with you for a while?' she asked.

'Yes' Robert said. 'He was a servant for two years, thankfully not one to give food or such.'

'I saw four men climb the wall. These three account for 75% of that. Where is the fourth?'

'Right here' a voice called. The assassin stood at the top of the stairs, dressed in dark purples with his blade at the throat of Lady Eloise.

'Eloise!' Raphael exclaimed.

'In the time it takes you to move I will have either snapped her neck or slit her throat, it's a gamble hardly worth the risk.I like risk'.

Raphael tensed; he was torn between actions and staying still. 'Luckily, this is not a total loss, I escape with a booby-prize.no vulgarity intended' he added to Eloise. She nodded understandingly.

'Au revoir Raphael!' cooed the man. And with a single leap he crashed through the window behind him. Ivy and Raphael raced to the shattered glass. The shape landed on the ground easily and darted along the shadowy garden before another leap put him and Eloise over the wall.

'Oh! Merciful Heavens' the Countess exclaimed and fainted, no one caught her.oh well. Beatrice looked to Ivy.

'So.are swords in fashion this year?' she asked.

To Be Continued~~~~(of course, that's a cliff-hanger-anti-climax- termination.I really need to get out more)

R&R this fic because if you don't I won't be a happy little force of evil. Also I'm going to work on my slightly more serious Ninja Storm Fic. TTFN.