Summary:After his disastrous declaration of love in Crush, Spike does not believe he has a chance with Buffy. Will he ever be able to convince her that his love is real and he is capable of being a man she could love and trust in return.
Author's Note:This story is set just after the events of Crush in Season 5. I actually wrote this story after that episode first aired (so a very long time ago!). It is also the very first piece of fanfiction I ever wrote so please forgive any amateurish plot ideas, etc. I know some people would go and fix up an old story before uploading but I wanted to know what people think of it in its original form without my older (and possibly wiser self) fiddling with it. I have never shared this story (or any of my other fanfiction) online before so if you spot any mistakes (spacing, text size, etc) please let me know so I can see about fixing them. :) For those of you who have taken the time to open this story (even for a quick glimpse out of curiosity) I thank you.
The Power of Love
Love is not without its bitterness.
Love rules without a sword, and binds without a cord.
The strongest evidence of love is sacrifice.
(Caroline Fry)
The street was in darkness with a lone flickering lamp giving the only light. The chill of night was on the wind and above the world the stars glimmered and shone down on the lowly human beings and demons that walked about beneath them. In this town it was the height of stupidity to walk about by yourself at night as people had a strange way of disappearing and never being heard of again. No one ever knew what happened to them and no one really cared, which is why vampires and demons liked to head for this town known as Sunnydale.
A light, bright and glaring was suddenly switched on in front of a building in the main street and a tall, blond woman came out of the doorway carrying a large box full of art works and supplies. She walked to a Land Cruiser that was parked farther down the road and unlocked the door. As she went to open it the box slipped out of her grasp and fell to the ground with a large thud spilling the contents and breaking a vase that had been on the top of the box.
"Oh bother, that cost me a fortune to find," exclaimed Joyce as she surveyed the damage done to her vase. She bent down to pick up the box and repack the contents, then she turned back to her vase that was lying shattered on the ground. Heaving a sigh she turned and went back into the building and grabbed a broom and dustpan from the cleaning closet and headed back outside.
She swept up the glass into a pile with the broom then leaned the broom against the wall. As she bent down with the dustpan she was suddenly knocked down from behind. As she fell she turned and ended up back facing the ground and her eyes looking up into the face of her attacker. The face was deformed and one which although unfamiliar to her was one that she knew what he was. A vampire.
The vampire looked down at her and snarled. He liked the look of this one.
He opened his mouth wide, the fangs gleaming in the light, and lunged at Joyce's throat. As his fangs dug into her neck Joyce screamed, a shrill cry, in pain and fright, which broke the stillness of the night.
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"Oh, bloody hell!"
The blond vampire looked down at his leather coat that now had a tear in it. "It's not enough that the slayer had to lock me out of her house but now, my favourite coat has a rip the size of London in it."
He pulled back his leg and kicked viciously at the bus seat in whose wooden backing a nail had caught his leather coat. The violence of the action released some of his frustration, but he still felt upset, though not because of the coat.
The slayer could have let me explain, he thought dismally. I didn't want Dru to stun her with that prod but it was the only way to keep her out of the way while I got Dru. Though I guess it wouldn't have done much good anyhow, since she had already got Red to do the disinvite on the house. Like to know why she did that before the whole thing with Dru. It couldn't have been because of that stakeout thing. All I did was try and tell her I loved her. I didn't hurt her; I didn't even say anything nasty to her. I would love to tell her…
Spikes' thought was halted suddenly when he heard a shrill scream ringing through the night. The scream had come from farther up the street. Spike turned and looked at the direction from whence it had come. As he did so the voice cried out again, weaker this time, "Buffy…someone… help…."
Bloody hell that's Joyce! Spike leapt forward and raced towards the sound. The sight that met his eyes was worse than he had thought possible. Joyce was lying on the ground with a guy on top of her. The guy had his mouth at her throat and was making a noise that Spike knew well, after all he had made the same sounds himself when he had sucked his victims dry.
Filled with rage and an overwhelming sense of protectiveness Spike launched himself at the vampire, pulling him off Joyce and threw him against the wall. "No one hurts this lady mate, not while I'm around." The vampire came to his feet and looked at Spike.
"YOU!" he exclaimed in disgust. "The Slayers little lapdog. You're a disgrace to our kind and it will be a pleasure to put you back in the ground where you belong." With that he threw himself at Spike who ducked, grabbed his arm and tossed him over his shoulder. The vampire fell with a thud onto the ground.
"I don't have time for this, more's the pity," said Spike, and seeing the broom against the wall, grabbed it, broke it in half and thrust the jagged end into the vampire's chest. The vampire turned to dust in an instant.
Spike turned round to where Joyce was still lying on the ground. Her eyes looked at him for an instant and then closed slowly. Blood was gushing out of her neck and the pavement around her was stained red.
"Please God, NO!" Spike begged and knelt down beside the still figure. "Joyce, come on pet don't do this to me. You can't die, I won't let you."
As he was speaking he started to tear off his coat and then his shirt. With the shirt in his hand he pressed it against her neck to try and staunch the bleeding. The blood was soon seeping through. Spike seeing the Land Cruiser picked Joyce up in his arms, while still trying to keep the shirt in place, and placed Joyce inside, all the time talking to her. "Okay luv just hang on and I'll have you at the hospital in no time. Stay with me."
Spike took the keys out of the door and picking up his coat from the ground hopped into the vehicle. He quickly started the Cruiser, pulled out into the street and then sped all the way to the emergency room at the hospital.
When he reached there he screeched to a halt and jumped out of the car. He raced around to the other side and gently, but quickly, lifted Joyce out of the vehicle. Holding her firmly in his arms he ran up the steps leading into emergency and catching sight of a man in a doctor's coat called out urgently, "Hey Doc this lady needs help. She's got a wound to the neck and it's bleeding pretty badly."
The doctor came over quickly whilst calling for a gurney to be brought over. Joyce was laid down on the bed and the doctor quickly examined her. "Patient's unconscious, has severe trauma and haemorrhage to the neck. Severe blood loss and body shows signs of shock. Get her down to surgery stat."
The wardsmen took Joyce swiftly down the hospital corridor and through a door that stated 'staff only'. Spike had followed them and seeing this stopped and stared at the door wishing that he could go through and make sure that they did all they could to save Joyce. A nurse came up to him and gently asked would he mind answering some questions. He turned around and looked at her, wondering why such a young girl, she couldn't have been more than 23 years, would want to have such a career that exposes her to the tragic and sometimes horrific scenes nurses are exposed to.
"Sir," the nurse said again, "I have to ask you some questions concerning the patient for the admission form. Do you think you'll be all right to?"
Spike nodded his head slowly. "What do you need to know?" he asked.
"Well first of all do you know the patient's name?"
"Joyce. Joyce Summers. She owns an art shop in town."
"Does she have any family who need to be contacted?"
"She has two daughters, Buffy and Dawn."
"Where can we contact them?"
"At their home number. You should have it on file since Joyce was in here not that long ago. If they're not there, try Rupert Giles' home number or the Magic Shop."
The questions after that seemed endless. He answered as best he could, but some of the questions were ones only close family could answer. Finally the nurse looked like she had finished with him and he started to turn around and head back to the 'staff only' door when the nurse stopped him and asked: "Sir I'll need to know your name for the record as well. It's procedure."
"It's William. William Alverston," Spike replied and turned round and headed back to the door.
What was going on in there? It's been nearly an hour since they took her in,Spike started to pace in front of the door. He started to remember back to a time when he had been human, he had been just sixteen years of age, and his mother was suffering from a severe case of influenza and had been at deaths door for nearly three weeks. He had worried about his mother then, just as he was now worried about Joyce. He still loved and missed his mother; she had always looked after him and loved him no matter what he was like.
Joyce is like that,Spike thought,no matter what or who you are or what you are like she'll like you for yourself. She's never held it against me that I'm a vampire, not even before I got this chip in my head when I could have bitten her. She listened to me and gave me hot chocolate when I had no reason to expect it. I love her,Spike realised, I love her as much as I loved my mother.
Spike walked over to a seat that was by the wall and sat down with his head bent down looking at the floor. He prayed that Joyce would be all right; he didn't know when Buffy would get here, but he knew he would have to be gone. For one thing he didn't want her knowing it was him that had saved Joyce, she would just think it was his fault that Joyce had been in trouble in the first place and secondly after their last meeting she would probably have no hesitation in staking him if she saw him near her mother. Spike got up slowly and walked quietly to the door, Best be gone before she gets here.
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Buffy put the phone down still reeling from the shock. Giles, Dawn and the rest of the group consisting of Xander, Willow, Anya and Tara looked at her in concern. The side of the conversation that they had heard informed them that something had happened to Joyce but not what.
"Buffy what's wrong with mum? Why'd the hospital call? Buffy what happened?" Dawn asked, her voice high with anxiety.
"Mum was taken to the hospital over an hour ago. She had a wound to her neck and was unconscious. The nurse said that the man who brought her in told her that he found her outside the art shop on the ground and drove her to the hospital in the Cruiser. Giles could you give Dawn and I a lift? Xander could you drive Will, Anya and Tara?"
The group readily agreed with the plan and soon they were at the hospital in the waiting room where, not five minutes ago, Spike had been sitting. Buffy walked up to the nurse who was on duty while the others stood in the background. When Buffy came back her face was white and a look of strain was in her eyes.
"Mum's still in surgery. She lost a lot of blood before they could stop the bleeding and they found that the skin was pierced by something shaped like fangs."
"A vampire. Oh Buffy how awful. Poor Joyce. Will she be all right?" asked Willow concerned.
"I don't know Will. This has happened before when Darla was still around, but this is…."
"I know ten times worse with everything your mum's been through in the last few months. Do they know if…?" Willow broke off her question as the doors to the surgery unit opened and a doctor came out. The doctor walked over to the nurse on duty, held a brief conversation with her before turning towards the group standing together. He walked over to them.
"Buffy summers?" he asked.
"I'm Buffy. Is my mum all right? Where is she?"
"Your mother's going to be fine. We have to keep her in Intensive Care for tonight and tomorrow for observation to be on the safe side. If you would like I can have the nurse take you and your sister to see her now. She is still under the anaesthetic, so you won't be able to talk to her."
"Thank you doctor. Dawn are you coming?" Buffy asked her sister gently.
Dawn looked up and nodded her head slightly. The doctor signalled the nurse at the desk and then he said goodbye to the group and went back through the door. Buffy and Dawn followed the nurse through the hospital corridors until they reached the IC unit. There, upon being informed by the Sister on duty where Joyce was, she led the girls into a room in which Joyce was lying with machines and an IV stand next to the bed.
"You can talk to her if you like. She can still hear you although she's asleep," the nurse told them comfortingly.
"Thank you."
Buffy and Dawn went and sat down together on the chairs by the bed and looked at their mum. Dawn's hand reached out to Buffy's and held on tightly. "She will be all right won't she Buffy?" Dawn asked tearfully.
"She will be Dawn," Buffy replied quietly. And then so Dawn could not hear her, "she just has to be."
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When Spike walked into the hospital the next night he saw that the same nurse who had been on duty when he had brought Joyce in was on again that night. He walked up to the desk and the nurse looked up, recognised him and smiled. "Hello. Mr Alverston isn't it?"
Spike returned the smile and hoping that she would help him asked, "I was hoping if you could tell me how the lady I brought in yesterday is. Joyce Summers."
"I'm sorry Mr Alverston but I'm not allowed to tell you that as you're not a relative," the nurse said regretfully, "but…considering you brought her in I will tell you that she came through surgery all right and is now in the Intensive Care unit."
Spike, who at the beginning of her answer had looked upset, now looked at the nurse in relief and gratitude. "Thanks luv that's all I wanted to know." With that he smiled and turned around and walked out.
As he walked out the door Spike stopped and looked back to where the nurse was. She was now busy dealing with a doctor and was not paying any attention to him. He glanced around and saw the sign directing people through a door that led to the Intensive Care unit. Without a second thought Spike quickly walked through the door and up the corridor. When he arrived at the unit he looked around for any sign of Buffy or her friends and seeing none he went over to the Sister on duty.
"Excuse me Sister may I see Joyce Summers please?" he asked. The Sister looked up at the sound of his voice and took in his appearance and the expression of pleading on his face.
"Are you a relative of hers?"
"Yes I am," Spike said firmly, knowing he was taking a risk of being thrown out if they found out he was lying. "I'm her nephew from England. I was over here on business. I just found out what happened."
The Sister appeared to accept the lie for she had a sympathetic expression on her face. "Well in that case you can see her, but I'm afraid that we've just given her an injection to help her sleep and it would have taken effect by now, so you won't be able to talk with her."
Spike had a small smile on his mouth as he looked at her and told her, "So long as I can see her and make sure that she's all right." He appeared to hesitate and then asked, "If I talk to her will she still hear me?"
The Sister smiled in understanding and nodded. Then she showed him where Joyce's room was and then left him.
Spike walked over to the bed on which Joyce was lying and sat on the chair next to it. He picked up her hand and gently held it. When he spoke his voice was quiet.
"Hello Joyce, how're you holding up? I'm glad to see you pulled through okay. I'm sorry I couldn't come earlier to see you but you know what sunlight does to my complexion." Spike paused and looked at Joyce's face, he swallowed a lump in his throat and blinked his eyes. Before he spoke again he thought he heard something outside the door but then put it down to his imagination.
"You know the last time I ever did this was when my mother was dying. They said that she had had a relapse from an attack of influenza that had happened a few years back, but I know it wasn't that. She really died because of me."
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"Buffy are you sure you'll be all right here by yourself?" Giles looked at the Slayer with a worried look in his eyes.
"I'm sure Giles. I'll be fine," the latter statement when he still looked a bit unsure. "I need to stay just in case something happens." Giles nodded reluctantly and giving her a last smile of encouragement turned and walked back to his car. Buffy turned and went into the hospital.
When she reached the Intensive Care Unit the Sister walked up to her and greeted her. "Miss Summers I'm sorry but your mother's asleep at the moment. We had to give her an injection to help her sleep."
"Oh that's all right Sister. I just want to sit with her for a while." Buffy smiled at her and would have walked away but the Sister's next words stopped her.
"Your cousin is with your mother Miss Summers he came a few minutes before you did."
"My cousin?" Buffy asked in amazement.
"Yes your cousin, the one from England. Such a nice gentleman and so polite." Buffy looked at the Sister and covering her feelings thanked her for the information and walked towards the door.
She was going to stake him this time for sure. How dare he come and see her mother. It wasn't as if he cared about her. As she reached her mother's room Buffy heard Spike talking and, not sure why she did, stopped when she heard him talking, "…sorry I couldn't come earlier to see you but you know what sunlight does to my complexion."
There was a pause and Buffy stepped closer to the door, her shoe nudging the chair near the door so that it gave a small squeak. She held her breath uncertainly until Spike started talking again.
"You know the last time I ever did this was when my mother was dying. They said that she had had a relapse from an attack of influenza that had happened a few years back, but I know it wasn't that. She really died because of me. It was after Dru bit me and after my funeral. I went to have one last look at my mum by myself, but when I got there I found a doctor had been called and was with her. I managed to get into the house by fooling one of the new servants and then I waited until the doctor had gone out of mother's room before I went in."
Spike stopped and Buffy heard what sounded like a muffled sob before he continued.
"She was lying on her bed just like you are Joyce with her eyes closed and she was so pale. She didn't look like the mother I had known. I walked up to her and asked could she hear me. She just lay there Joyce and I thought that I would never hear her voice again when she slowly opened her eyes. She saw me and the look on her face was one that I've never forgotten. She looked relieved and a look of peace came over her and she told me that she had prayed that she might die with me by her side. She asked me to kiss her one last time and after I had she smiled and then sh...she died."
The break in Spike's voice shocked Buffy, as did the revelations she had just heard. She would never have believed that he could have felt so deeply for anybody as he obviously had for his mother.
When he started speaking again tears came to Buffys eyes.
"I've never told anyone this before Joyce. I guess I'm telling you because you remind me of her. I like you Joyce, you never treat me like I'm a freak. You like people for themselves. You don't care that I'm a vampire, you never did. You listened to me when Dru broke up with me and gave me hot chocolate and you keep those marshmallows for me whenever I come around to see you. You even like the same television shows that I do, and you treat me with a kindness and understanding that I've never had since my mother died. That's what's so special about you Joyce. You mother anyone whether they're human or demon and you understand their problems because you listen to them. My mother would have loved you; you're so much alike."
There was a small pause, then Spike started speaking again, quieter than before.
"After that vampire attacked you I was really worried Joyce. You had lost so much blood and I was so afraid that you would die before I could get you here. I never want to go through that again."
Spike paused and Buffy slowly stepped closer to the door.
"If you died Joyce I don't know what I would do, after Buffy, you and li'l bit are the most precious and important people in my existence and I couldn't bear to lose any of you."
Spike's voice was barely above a whisper by now and the feeling in it was heartbreaking. Buffy stepped quietly into the doorframe and looked at his head as it was bent over Joyce's hand and the stain of tears on his face and felt the anger that she had had inside her since he had chained her up in his crypt start to melt away.
While she stood there, Spike silently got up and bending down he hesitantly, and with a touch of old fashioned grace, lifted Joyce's hand to his lips and gently kissed it before putting it down on the bed again.
"Get better soon Joyce," he whispered, then he turned around and for the first time he saw Buffy standing there.
As Buffy looked at him she saw his eyes widen and his expression become one of embarrassment and uncertainty, as he wondered how long she had been standing there. The memory of their last encounter was in both of their minds. The silence was finally broken.
"I was just leaving Buffy and I wasn't going to come again. I just wanted to see how she was. I'll go now." Spike started to walk towards the door and was stopped when Buffy wouldn't move out of the way.
"Spike, how did you know my mother was here?"
The question was certainly not the one Spike had expected. He thought quickly.
"Well you know how it is, news travelling fast and all that. Heard some guys talking about it down the street."
He looked at Buffy and saw she was smiling; a small, grateful smile.
"You don't have to think up stories Spike. I heard you talking to mum. You were the man that brought her here. Also that it was you that rescued her from the vampire."
Buffy paused and swallowed.
"I can never thank you enough for that Spike. If mum had been turned into a vampire or died because I wasn't there to protect her I...I…." Her voice petered out and the tears that had been fighting to break loose since she had received the phone call started to trickle down her face.
Spike stood looking at her and wondered what he should do. He knew what he wanted to do, hold her close and comfort her, but whether Buffy would accept comfort from him was another matter. Coming to a decision he tentatively reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder.
"She'll be all right Buffy. She wasn't turned and she didn't die, besides you know that you can't protect everyone twenty-four hours a day; if you did you'd be worn out in no time." He looked down at her and Buffy sensing his regard glanced up, the tears still running down her face.
"I know that Spike, but she's my mother and I should have been there for her. But I wasn't and now mum is back here in the hospital and I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I feel like I'm being torn apart. First Glory, then finding out the truth about Dawn, Mums' operation, Riley leaving, the Watchers' Council, Dawn finding out she's the key and now this. Everything seems to be happening all at once and I can't do a thing to prevent them and I don't even know what will happen next or if I will be able to stop it."
With that Buffy suddenly broke down completely and would have fallen on to the floor if Spike hadn't caught her. With an arm around her he led her out through a door into the adjoining part of Joyce's room, closed the door and sat her down on the twin seater that was near the wall, then sat down next to her. Buffy turned to him and buried her face in his jacket, the sobs racking her body and Spike feeling her tremble held her closer and gently stroked her hair while murmuring words of comfort.
After a while, although Buffy's sobs grew quieter and her body stopped shaking, she still held onto Spike and kept her face buried into his shoulder. For the first time in ages she felt as though the pressure she was under had been lessened and that she could finally do away with the barriers she had put up for the last couple of months.
She didn't know why she felt like this; perhaps it was because with Spike she didn't have to be strong or pretend that everything was fine. One thing she did know, and that was because of what she had heard him say to her mother, was that she trusted him and knew that she could always rely on him whenever she had need of him, because through his revelations to her mother, when he had thought no one was listening, she knew that his feelings for her and her family were genuine.
Buffy felt her eyes start to droop from the exhaustion of her emotions and from not sleeping since the night before last and, snuggling closer to the body holding her, opened her mouth, gave a yawn and before going completely to sleep said, "Spike, thank you for being here and for helping mum. I'll never forget it."
And with that Buffy closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.
Spike holding her in the circle of his arms looked down on her face. The tense and worried look had disappeared and on her face was a look of peace. Not wanting to disturb her, he leant slowly back to rest against the back of the seater, holding Buffy securely against him. On the side table there was a woollen blanket that the hospital had thoughtfully provided for the relatives of the patient who would want to stay over night. Spike picked it up and placed it over her gently, then closing his eyes he let his head drop onto the back of the seat. He was asleep within a minute.
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Buffy, waking 3 hours later found herself encircled in someone's arms with a comforting warmth covering her and her head resting on a person's chest. Too comfortable and warm to worry about whose it was, she gave a yawn, reached up, kissed the person gently, then snuggled deeper into the person's shoulder and went back to sleep.
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Giles coming to the hospital in the morning was puzzled at not seeing Buffy in her mum's room. Remembering what she had said about staying with Joyce he couldn't work out why she would leave her. Turning around he walked up to the Sister on duty and asked whether Joyce's daughter had left the ward before he got there.
"No sir, she's still here, in the side room with her cousin. The last time I checked they were both still asleep. They were pretty worn out according to the night Sister so we decided to let them be for a while."
Giles, with a puzzled smile of thanks, turned around and walked towards Joyce's room. The only cousin of Buffy's that he had ever heard of was the one that had died in hospital when Buffy had been quite young. He wondered who this one was.
Reaching the side room door Giles opened it and looked in. What he saw caused him to stare in disbelief.
Buffy was half lying, half sitting on the seat with her head on Spike's chest, his arms around her, and both of them fast asleep. Wondering what the hell was going on Giles walked into the room and was about to wake her up when looking at her face he saw the dark circles under her eyes that bespoke of nights without sleep. Deciding that he would have to contain his questions until she woke up he turned, shutting the door again and went back into the room where Joyce was and sat down on the chair that Spike had used the night before.
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On waking Buffy slowly opened her eyes and blinked at her surroundings. The last thing she could remember was coming across Spike next to her mum, then bursting into tears and Spike taking her into this room where she must have fallen asleep. Looking up at him while he still slept she couldn't prevent a smile from surfacing as she remembered how he had comforted her last night when she had really needed someone to talk to. It was quite strange when you thought about it.
Of all people who I could talk to, Buffy thought, I talked to someone who tried to kill me, quite a few times and who is now saying that he loves me and rescues my mum from other vampires. Is that weird or what?
While she had been thinking Spike had woken up and was looking at her through half closed eyelids. Knowing that sooner or later he would have to reveal that he was awake he opened his eyes fully and in a voice that hid his emotions greeted her.
"How're you feeling now Summers? Better?"
Buffy looked at him and looking in his eyes saw the concern that was there which he could not conceal.
Allowing her face to relax into a smile that she hadn't shown for a long time she told him, "heaps better, I feel like I could take on the whole race of demons at the moment." Laughing at his expression she informed him, "but don't worry I'd make an exception in your case Spike. After what you did for my mum I…. What you did was something that some humans would never do – save someone's life at the risk of being killed, or in your case, being dusted. That is what I'll remember Spike, your concern for my mother."
Spike, sitting on the seat, appeared to turn a shade of red. However, there was no disguising the fact that he looked immensely cheered by the fact that Buffy might have gotten over her dislike of him.
Clearing his throat he smiled and told her, "Well I like Joy…I mean your mum, always have. She's got a lot of courage and spirit and she doesn't put on airs and graces. She's a real lady Buffy and, I have to tell you, you don't find a lot of them around anymore."
As he finished speaking both of them stood up and Buffy turned to face him. Before he realised what she was doing Buffy had thrown her arms around him and was hugging him tightly.
"Spike that is the nicest thing that anyone has ever said about my mum, I only wish that she could have heard it." Buffy released him and turned towards the closed door, "Let's go see if she's awake yet".
On opening the door both Buffy and Spike saw Giles right about the same time that he saw them. Standing up he looked at Buffy with his Watcher's expression that said he wanted answers, on his face.
"Buffy what is he doing here?" he looked at Spike with a distrustful and angry glance.
Before either one could answer Joyce started to wake up and opened her eyes. Glancing around at the three people in the room she eventually focused her gaze on Spike.
"Spike! I've been waiting to see since I woke up. I wanted to thank you for helping me. I saw you just before I passed out and I never had a chance to thank you." She started to sit up and reached out a hand to him. "Spike, I don't know how I can ever repay you but…."
While she had been talking Giles had been looking at Spike in bewilderment. It increased when Spike interrupted Joyce and told her that there was no need to repay him.
"You don't need to repay me Joyce," he told her, whilst grasping her hand gently in his own. "In a way I was repaying you for listening to me whenever I needed someone to talk to, and," Spike smiled at her before adding, "for watching Passions with me."
While both Giles and Buffy looked puzzled by this, wondering when the two of them had watched Passions together, Joyce smiled back at Spike and answered, "it was a good episode wasn't it. I really liked that part with Timmy, you know towards the end?"
Spike nodded and grinned. "I told you that would happen," he told Joyce.
The two of them might have gone on discussing their favourite soap for ages if Giles hadn't interrupted and asked Joyce, "Are you saying that it was Spikewho brought you here? The nurse told Buffy that it was someone called William Alverston."
Joyce looked at Giles, and then she glanced at Spike. She saw that he was trying hard not to smile. Turning back to Giles she told him, "Spike's real name is William Alverston. When Buffy left us with him at his crypt I asked him what his name was. I'm surprised that you don't have that piece of information in your books Rupert. I would have thought it was pretty important."
Giles took off his glasses and inspected them as he replied, "Well the council was never able to discover his real name. They only discovered the names Spike and William the Bloody in reference to him, nothing else."
"Oh well Rupert ol' mate now you're one up on the rest of them aren't you?" Spike told him, loving this chance to take a dig at the watcher. "You now know something that they couldn't find out for themselves in over 100 years. Well done."
Spike's face softened as he turned around and faced Joyce saying, "I hope you get well soon Joyce and don't worry about the gallery, I'll keep an eye on it during the night if you like. And, here's a happy thought, you'll get to watch your soaps in peace for a while." Then, giving her hand a quick squeeze before releasing it, he turned to the door and with a last look at Buffy walked out of the room.
Buffy with a look at her mum excused herself hurriedly and ran out after him, closing the door to her mum's room after her.
"Spike wait."
Spike turned around and looked at her. Having stopped him Buffy was now unsure of what to say to him. "Um I just wanted to tell you that, ah, you could come and visit mum if you want to. I'm sure she'll appreciate it."
Spike looked at her in surprise. "You'll let me see her?" he asked. "Why?"
"Because I know that you wouldn't hurt her now and because I...I trust you."
"You trust me? Even after what I did to you?"
"Yes. Even after what you did to me, I trust you."
Seeing his stunned face Buffy reached up and uncaring of who might be watching kissed him gently. Pulling back she told him, "what you did for mum shows me that you must care for her to do that. Besides, hearing what I did last night I have to tell you that I'm sorry that I didn't believe you when you told me yourself that you love me. And for how I disinvited you, but I was…."
"I know Buffy," Spike interrupted her, "you were worried that I might somehow manage to hurt your mum or Dawn or you at some point. I wouldn't have, you know."
"I know that now," Buffy said quietly, "but at the time I was pretty thrown by what you had told me."
"Yeah, I guess sentiments like that coming from me weren't exactly on your wish list were they?" A wry smile twisted his lips and he turned around and slowly walked off.
Buffy stood and watched his departing back then sighed. Spike had been very brave and kind, rescuing her mum like that.
He hadn't even wanted anyone to know that he had, why else would he have given his real name to the nurse rather than the one that we all know him by. It truly had been a selfless act on his part and if it hadn't been for me hearing him last night none of us would have found out, since mum wouldn't have told us knowing what I was feeling about him at the time.
Buffy's thoughts were broken off briefly as a siren heralded the arrival of an ambulance. I don't know what I'm feeling for him now, I feel different. I wish I knew what it was; it makes me feel funny inside. With a puzzled frown on her face she turned and went back into her mum's room.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A week after the incident Joyce was allowed to return home. The group had arranged a small welcome home party at Buffy's place and everyone was pleased to see that Joyce was quite better.
During the festivities Joyce found herself alone with Buffy in the kitchen. Joyce was getting a pie from the oven and Buffy was getting plates from the cupboard.
"Buffy?"
Buffy turned at the sound of her mum's voice. "Yeah."
"I hope you don't think I'm intruding into your life honey, but I was wondering if you and Spike had resolved your problems yet?"
Buffy stared at her mum. She hadn't seen that question coming.
"You can tell me it's none of my business Buffy,' Joyce continued, "but it's just that I can't help but think of how he helped me and hoping that you both might have decided to call a truce or something."
Buffy looked at her mum and her mind flashed back to the meeting between herself and Spike outside her mum's room that had happened a week ago. She remembered telling him that he could visit her mum if he wanted to, but from what her mum was saying he didn't go to see her. She wondered why.
Bringing her mind back to the present she looked at Joyce and told her, "I guess you could say that we did reach a compromise." Seeing her mum's relieved look she went further and said, "in fact I told him that he could come and see you if he wanted to. Did he?" she asked.
"No he didn't. Although he might have come when I was asleep," Joyce said. "Anyway Buffy I'm glad that you and he have as you say reached a compromise. I've never told you this but he has always been very nice to me and, do you remember that first time you brought him here and you told me what you were, he was very upfront about him being the one that I had hit with an axe at your school, he didn't try to lie about it and when that ex-girlfriend of his, what was her name?"
"Drusilla."
"That's it, when she broke up with him and he came back here he was so sad and upset. After he had said hello he asked if he could come in. I told him he could and he said that he needed someone to talk to and he didn't know anyone else that he could go to. He was quite upset, but for all that he was very polite to me and really I quite forgot until Angel came to the door that he was a vampire for he seemed more like a heartbroken young man who needed a mother's advice."
Buffy by this time was looking surprised at what her mum was saying. She remembered how she had heard Spike taunting Angel and, thinking that it was because he was about to kill her mother, had shoved him onto the table with a wooden spoon above his heart. Now it turned out that all he had been doing there until Angel showed up was talk to her mum about his love life. She came out of this memory to hear her mum ask, "So Buffy couldn't Spike come tonight? Is that why he's not here?"
Buffy looked uncomfortably at her mum. "Actually mum I didn't invite him."
"You didn't invite him!" Joyce exclaimed in shock. "But Buffy you just told me you had reached a compromise and now you tell me that you didn't invite him. Why?"
"Well Giles, I mean the others, I mean…well I didn't think that you would feel comfortable you know with a vampire in the house after what happened."
"Buffy you know that's just ridiculous. Spike is the one that saved my life, besides I know that that is not the real reason why you didn't invite him. I don't know what the real one is, and I'm not going to pry, but I do think that you should have invited him if only to thank him for helping me."
Buffy stared down at the floor, her mum was right, after what he had done for them the least she could have done was invite Spike despite what all the others would have said. It was just that, after the episode at the hospital, she didn't feel that she could meet him again without worrying if she would kiss him again.
Looking back up at her mother Buffy said, "if you want me to I could go and invite him now?"
Joyce nodded and Buffy, asking her to tell the others that she would be back soon, went out the door and started to head in the direction of the cemetery in search of Spike.
What on Earth am I going to say to him? Buffy asked herself after a while, Oh by the way Spike we were having a welcome home party for my mum and we didn't invite you because I was afraid that I would kiss you like I did at the hospital and the only reason I'm doing it now is because mum wants me to. Yeah that should really make him want to come.
Buffy sighed and as Spike's crypt came into view slowed her steps. "I just hope I don't offend him, cause mum would really get angry at me then," Buffy sighed.
Opening the door she stepped inside just as Spike burst out in a cheer.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"I twat I taw a puddy tat." There was a pause as the bird looked again. "I did. I did tee a puddy tat!"
Spike laughed as he watched the little yellow bird on the TV screen fly around the room followed by the black cat. The poor cat was never going to catch him; he wished he would. Serve the bleeding bird right. He was always tormenting the cat so you can't blame the cat for wanting to eat him. Then something happened. The cat caught the bird and shoved him in his mouth.
"YES," cried Spike with glee, "serves you right you little sod." He was making so much noise that he didn't hear Buffy come up behind him until she was right behind his chair.
"Spike what the hell are you watching?"
Spike spun around on his chair and looked up at her. "Slayer, what are you doing here?"
Buffy watched in amusement as Spike almost seemed to blush at being caught watching cartoons, and children's ones at that. "I came to find you actually," Buffy replied and lifted a finger to brush a loose strand of hair out of her eyes.
"Well you found me. Now what?"
"Mum asked me to come and invite you to our house. We're having a welcome home party for her and she would like you to be there."
"Really?"
"Yeah. So could you come, you didn't have anything to do tonight did you?"
"Oh sure," answered Spike with a grin, "I was going to watch the latest muppet movie on telly but I think I could get out of that appointment."
Standing up he went and turned off the television then turned around and faced her.
"Come on then, don't let's keep Joyce waiting," Spike walked over to the stone bench near the wall and picked up his leather coat. Shrugging himself into it he looked at Buffy who was still standing near the chair. "Well come on then, what are you waiting for let's go."
"What?" Buffy looked over to him and then shook her head, "oh right. Party. Let's go."
"Mrs Summers have you seen Buffy?" Willow walked into the kitchen where Joyce had been for the last few minutes. "We can't seem to find her anywhere."
Joyce turned around and looked at the young red head. "She's just gone to invite S…" The sound of the back door opening cut off Joyce's answer and both she and Willow turned to see Buffy walk in followed by…
"Spike," gasped Willow. "What…?" her question petered out as Joyce greeted Spike with a smile on her face.
"Spike I was hoping you would come, I really wanted to thank you properly. Would you like a drink of something?"
Spike with a boyish grin on his face asked, "Do you have any hot chocolate with marshmallows?"
Joyce smiled and nodded then turned to reach up into a cupboard that was slightly out of her reach.
"I'll get them Joyce, we don't want you hurting yourself," Spike said, and reaching past her, opened the cupboard and peered in. Catching sight of the packet of marshmallows and chocolate mix he pulled them out and set them on the table.
"Thank you Spike," Joyce turned and switched the kettle on. "Would you like to sit down?"
"Only if you were going to." He pulled out two chairs and after Joyce had sat down he followed.
While this had been going on Willow had been staring in disbelief. The last time she had been here with Buffy and Joyce had been when they were discussing Spikes obsession with Buffy and she had been asked to do the deinvite spell on him. Now here he was sitting down with Joyce, with hot chocolate on the way.
Willow turned to Buffy and seeing the expression in Willow's eyes Buffy walked into another room leaving Spike and her mother talking nineteen to the dozen about the latest episodes of their favourite soap series.
As she reached the room next to the kitchen Buffy could hear the noise coming from the lounge room; laughing, music and a lot of talking. Turning around she faced her friend and waited for Willow to speak.
"Buffy what is going on? One minute you and Spike are at each other's throats and then you're inviting him back into the house. What were you thinking?" Willow stopped to catch her breath and Buffy watching her saw the concern in her face as well as a fair amount of puzzlement.
"Willow has Giles told you anything about what happened when he was at the hospital that time he found Spike and I there?"
"You and Spike were at the hospital together?" Willow exclaimed in shock.
"I guess he didn't tell you."
Buffy walked over to the window and looking out told Willow a carefully edited version of what had happened the night she had found Spike next to her mum and what had been revealed then and later when Giles had been there.
"So you see mum knew he saved her and she wanted to thank him properly so she asked me to invite him to the party," she finished. She looked at Willow who was looking stunned at the story she had just heard.
"So you mean that it was Spike that…" Willow shook her head. "I can't believe it." Casting a look at Buffy she asked, "why would he save Joyce after you had disinvited him? I would have thought that he would have let her die; I mean that's more of a Spike action than saving her."
Buffy shook her head.
"Will after what I heard him say to mum I can't believe that he would ever hurt her. He was really worried about her Will and I can never forget that. If you had heard him as I did, you…" Buffy broke off and her hand clenched into a fist. Willow looking at her saw her swallow. She wondered why Buffy seemed so upset, and she wondered if there was something else that Buffy hadn't told her about that night at the hospital. But it was none of her business.
Hearing a footstep out in the hall both girls turned around in time to see Xander walk past the door towards the kitchen. Both girls tried to reach the kitchen before he did but somehow he managed to get there before them.
Xander, walking in to the kitchen, saw Spike and Joyce sitting at the table each holding a cup of hot chocolate and discussing, of all things, the latest episodes of Passions. Hearing him come in they both looked up, but before anyone of them could speak Buffy and Willow came into the room.
"Xander could you go with Willow please," Buffy asked.
"Buffy what's going on? Why's he here?"
"Xander please, Willow will explain everything." Buffy looked towards Willow who nodded and Xander, after a puzzled and frowning look at Spike, followed Willow out into the room that Buffy and she had just come out of.
"Buffy may I ask why is everyone treating Spike as though he were the one who tried to kill me?" Joyce asked her daughter in a tone that demanded an answer.
Buffy looked at her mum. After what had happened at Spikes crypt with Drusilla she had informed the others of what had happened but for some reason she hadn't told her mum, and now she knew she never could.
"Well mum you see none of them knew what had really happened. I've only just told Willow who's now telling Xander and then he'll probably go and tell the rest of them."
"Just so long as they all stop treating him like he tried to kill me," Joyce said and Buffy knew that she was serious. To her mum Spike was someone who had saved her from death and was therefore someone to be trusted. Turning back to Spike, Joyce smiled at him and apologised for how people were behaving. Spike with a wry smile in return told her not to worry about it.
"I'm used to it," he replied.
The party continued for a few more hours, by which time the whole group were now in possession of the facts, at least the ones that Buffy had told Willow, and were, if not quite easy in his company, no longer treated Spike with hostility. Many of them by this stage were also getting tired and before long were saying good-bye to the Summers women.
When the last Scooby had gone Joyce went back into the kitchen where she had asked Spike to wait until she came back. Buffy and Dawn followed her wondering what their mum was going to do. Upon reaching the kitchen Joyce went over to a cupboard and pulled out a packet that had what looked like a black shirt inside. Handing it to Spike she said, "the nurses at the hospital said that you had used your shirt to staunch the bleeding so I asked one of them if they could go and find me one to replace it."
Spike taking the shirt from her looked at it then returned his gaze to her. "Joyce you didn't have to. I was just using whatever I had, I wasn't expecting you to replace it."
"I know that Spike but after all you did help me so I had to get you something." Then in front of Buffy and Dawn she put her arms around him and gave him a hug. "Thank you Spike." Then stepping away from him she wished them all goodnight and left the room. Buffy seeing Dawn yawn widely suggested she do the same.
"I still have to do some patrolling before I can go to bed," she told her and Dawn, still yawning, nodded sleepily and went wearily through the door with a murmured goodnight to both of them.
Turning around Buffy saw Spike walk through the door, holding the brand new shirt to his chest.
"Spike." Pausing, Spike turned around and looked at her, "You feel up to a little patrolling tonight?" Buffy asked.
"You sure you want me along Slayer?" he asked, not quite sure whether Buffy was serious or not.
"I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't," she replied.
So closing the door behind her Buffy and Spike set out to do a patrol of the cemetery.
After an hour they had covered most of the areas that had fresh graves and started to head in the direction of Spike's crypt. Reaching it they both went in and Spike took the shirt Joyce had given him out of his pocket and placed it on the bench near the wall. Glancing down he spotted a rip in his coat that had occurred in a tussle with a couple of vampires.
"Oh bleeding hell, how am I going to get this mended? That's two tears I've got now."
Buffy hearing him walked over and peering at the damage said it didn't look too bad.
"Mum could fix it for you," she commented. Then reaching out a hand placed it on his arm the better to turn it to see all the damage. "Spike I could take it if you want and have mum sew it back up?"
Glancing up she found that their faces were only inches away from each other. Swallowing hard she tried to keep her mind focused, but thoughts of the kiss she had given him at the hospital kept returning.
"Buffy I…if you want to I could…" Spikes voice broke off and as though drawn by an irresistible force his lips came down on hers in a gentle but firm kiss.
Buffy instantly responded by wrapping her arms around him and held him to her. How long it went on for neither could afterwards have said but when Spike lifted his head Buffy leant her head forward and placed it on his chest. Resting his cheek on the top of her head Spike gave a small smile and held her closer to him.
Neither of them moved for a while and then Spike, with a reluctant sigh, drew slightly away from Buffy. "Buffy even though I'd love to have you stay you'd better get off home to your mum: she'll be starting to worry otherwise, with Glory around and everything."
Buffy nodded reluctantly and slowly withdrew her arms from around him. "Guess you're right. Spike?" Buffy questioned. "Do you really love me?"
Spike looked at her puzzled and then saw the desperate expression on her face. "You know I do Buffy. Why do you ask?"
"Would you leave me, you know say it's for my own good or give me an ultimatum, like love me or I'll leave?" The questions were asked in a tight, anxious voice.
"Buffy I could never do that to you. I could never leave you, even before this, so I'm not going to now. Whenever you need me Buffy I'll always be here for you. I'd do anything for you." Spike gathered her into his arms and gave her a comforting hug. "I love you more than anything, I always will. If anything happened to you I don't know what I would do, you're everything to me."
Releasing his hold on her Spike turned around towards the door and started to walk towards it. Buffy followed him and both of them reaching the door at the same time put out a hand to open the door. As their hands touched Buffy looked up at Spike and their glances locked. Before they knew what they were doing Buffy was in Spike's arms again being kissed with a thoroughness that left them both breathless, although in Spike's case this wasn't much of a problem.
"Spike I think I may be in love with you," Buffy whispered against his mouth and Spike hearing this drew slightly away from her and smiled gently down at her.
"And I most certainly love you Buffy," he replied gently and bent and kissed her again, and Buffy willingly accepting his embraces forgot, for the time being anyway, her intention of going home and gave herself up to the joy of being loved again by someone who had proved himself a man worthy of love and respect.
The End
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters mentioned in this story. They are the property of Joss Whedon & co. The events that are mentioned as having followed the events in the episode 'Crush' however are all my own invention, as are the characters of the vampire & hospital staff. The cat and bird of course are the property of Warner Bros and go by the names Sylvester and Tweety.
I am not making any profit from this story.