[AN: Same universe as "The Christmas Helpers" but the can be read alone]
Over the years several different students had taken it upon themselves to be Father Christmas for their houses - Fred and George had been expressly forbidden from having anything to do with the presents, as had Bill, Charlie and Oliver Wood - but in times of great desperation or when it couldn't be done any other way the houses teamed up to cover all their younger years.
This year counted as a 'can't be done any other way' situation. Umbridge was keeping everything so strict and confined that this year they weren't allowed to do it like normal. Apparently it counted as a 'group' activity and she disagreed.
"She's...She's killing Santa." Ron had said in disbelief.
"She's trying to demoralize us and keep us in line." said Hermione.
Harry scowled, "It won't work."
"Of course it won't." Hermione assured him, "Ron, go find Hannah."
"Abbott? Why?"
"Tell her we need a conference among the prefects. I'm going to go locate Padma."
"What about the Slytherins?" Harry asked curiously.
Hermione looked over at the table that held the Slytherin house, "They take care of their own. I'm sure they've already got a stack of gifts ready for delivery."
"Plus Malfoy would squeal." said Ron.
The two prefects took off to find their targets leaving Harry sitting with Neville.
"Really makes you feel unwanted, doesn't it?" asked Harry sarcastically.
Neville tried not to grin.
"If it's a Prefect meeting, why are they here?" Ernie asked, indicating the two Gryffindor boys.
"I'm feeling decidedly unloved today," Harry quipped, "How about you Neville.
"Oh, I'm feeling a lack of love alright." Neville agreed.
"I'll hug you later if you'll stop that," said Ron, indicating the dramatics.
Harry laughed, "Fine, fine. We're here because we want to help."
"Plus, we're not the only interlopers." Neville waved at Susan, grinning broadly.
"What are you 'helping' with?" Padma interrupted whatever Ernie was going to say.
"Umbridge is trying to demoralize us by keeping away a holiday tradition and making sure the younger years do not-" Hermione was cut off by Ron;
"She's killing Santa!"
"Now who's dramatic?" Neville asked Harry quietly.
"She's what?" Hannah demanded.
"According to Umbridge and one of her notices, the playing Father Christmas to the younger years tradition - detention or not - counts as a group and is not allowed." said Hermione.
The others in the groups looked infuriated by that.
"How can she do that? Doesn't she know how important this is for our Houses? For the younger years!" Susan looked furious, "I swear I'll hex her myself if she makes those kids cry."
"We figured you'd feel that way as well." Ron offered, "So we've got a plan. Well, they've got a plan," he conceded, "Hermione's the brain, we're just the legwork."
That brought a smile to their faces.
It took around an hour of tossing ideas back and forth before they had a plan.
"Okay, who gets to distract the Slytherin Prefects?" Hannah asked.
They ended up drawing straws over that; Ron and Anthony Goldstein lost.
"I'm owed for this." Ron took a breath steadying himself, "I demand at least three cool gifts."
"Done. Thanks for taking one for the team." Harry clapped him on the shoulder.
The next day during lunch they set their plan into action. They couldn't exactly pick a fight in front of anyone, but there had to be multiple witnesses.
If they picked a fight in front of Umbridge or Snape, the Slytherins would get off and the two other Prefects would get heavily punished, and vice versa for McGowan. The only fair, yet firm was Sprout.
Ron and Anthony waited around the hall watching Malfoy until Umbridge and Snape had left.
Once both Umbridge and Snape had gone, and McGonagall was out of sight they went over towards him.
Ron nodded at Anthony who quickly gained an angry expression and roared in outrage, "What did you say about my mother!"
Malfoy turned around in surprise along with his two ever present goons.
"I have no idea what you-"
Whatever he had been going to say was cut off by Anthony's fist.
Crabbe and Goyle went to their friend's assistance, prompting Ron to join the fray.
As they watched the fray from the distance Harry commented, "I'm surprised I wasn't elected to go do this."
"Why?"
"Well, I'm not exactly on best terms with the Hufflepuffs..."
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"
"You lot, you've disliked me since I started school!" Harry semi-whined at the three Hufflepuffs.
"That's not true." Hannah protested.
"Yeah, " Susan gained a mischievous look, "We had no issue with you in year 1 or year 3."
"Oh, they had 'no issue with me' two out of five years." Harry groaned and played up the dramatics, "I swear they should change their motto."
"To what?"
"'Hufflepuff, official ego poppers since 1991'?" Hermione suggested, half distracted by the fight.
"Ohh, good shot." Padma commented as Ron nailed Goyle in the eye.
"Sorry, fun's over." said Susan, pointing at Professor Sprout running up to them.
The five were separated, slightly worse for wear and berated in front of everyone.
"-And thats detention for two weeks, ALL of you!"
"Youch."
Ron looked at them pitifully as he was lead away, blood dripping from his nose still.
Harry gave a mock Salute which was followed by the rest of them as he disappeared from sight.
"Someone remind me to buy him a pound of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans." said Harry.
"With that eye?" Neville shook his head, "I'll add a dozen chocolate frogs."
"Count me in for Sugar Quills for both," Padma added.
Hermione made a face, "Remind me to send them toothbrushes."
Ron located them later that day, his eye swollen still, lip puffy; "I got told since we started it we can deal with our injuries 'the Muggle way'."
"You got your shots in." Harry placated him.
"Yeah, I did." Ron puffed up ,"Just near broke Crabbe's nose."
"So how long have the five of you got detentions for?"
"Every night for two weeks in the Greenhouse supervised by Sprout herself."
Neville looked shocked, "That's not a punishment!"
"To anyone who's not as big a planet lover as you, it is." Harry laughed.
They could have used the Room of Requirement, but somehow that felt...wrong. It was a room used now for training and defence, not for joy and presents. They couldn't use any of their common rooms (they'd be spotted) and any empty classrooms were monitored either by Filch or Umbridge by now. After a bit of debate Hannah chimed in with an idea: "Why don't we just use the prefects bath?"
"The one on the fifth floor?" Harry inquired.
Hannah shot him a semi-confused look, "How would you know where it is?"
"I ah..." Harry stared at the ceiling, "I seem to have gone temporarily deaf."
"Don't use Dumbledore's defence," Hermione nudged him, "Or Ron'll start doing it and that's just not something we want."
"Fine. But I refuse to answer that one."
"But-" Ernie protested.
"Shush, I know where it is too." Susan rolled her eyes at Ernie's outraged squeak, "It's not that big of a secret."
"It's supposed to be!"
"Yeah, but every Prefect, Captain and their friends know where it is."
So that's how they came to be hiding in the fifth floor prefects bathroom surrounded by catalogues and lists.
"Helena Williams wants a stuffed bear." Hannah handed the letter to Harry who was compiling all the stuffed animal requests.
He dutifully stuck a yellow sticker on it and went to his next letter; "John Jones wants colouring books."
Hermione stuck that letter with hers, sticking a blue sticker on it. Hermione and Hannah between them had the 'Muggle' toys letters.
Harry had been unsure how they would buy any of the presents to begin with, but they'd all pitched in. Hermione emptied in what she had left from school shopping, Padma had mailed home for some 'Hogsmead' allowance.
Neville had blushed quite heavily and produced a larger money bag and muttered something about his gran and 'doing her proud'. Harry added what he had left as well, which left them with what they hoped would be enough for all the houses children, First year through Third year.
"Leah Smith says she'd like a new football." Padma tried to place the term.
"It's a Muggle sport." Hannah said, taking the letter and adding a red sticker.
Hannah and Hermione were sending a list the next day to Hannah's parents (Her mother as a Witch could charm the gifts smaller) so that they could pick up the Muggle presents.
"Ha, a man after my own heart!" Harry exclaimed happily, "James Harper wants a toy snitch!"
Neville added a yellow sticker and stuck it in his magical toys pile.
"Dennis Creevey would like a camera so he can take photos like his brother." Padma handed that one to Hermione.
Harry donned a look of fake fear, "No! I don't need another paparazzi!"
Hannah grinned and grabbed Dennis' letter adding it to her pile.
Harry groaned. "If I get asked to sign any photo's I'll..." He frowned, paused then smiled, "I'll get Hermione to smack you."
The girl in question balled up a scrap of parchment and threw it at him. With a stern look on her face , she pointed her finger at him , "You do not hit girls, not even by proxy."
He swallowed hard; "Yes ma'am."
Nevile laughed but shut up so quick Harry could hear his teeth click together when Hermione sent the look his way.
"How do you do that?" Harry asked as the girls laughed at the two boys.
"It's a girl skill, boys don't have it." Hannah studied her nails with a smirk.
Harry scowled down at the parchment.
Neville looked sulky as he added a letter to his pile.
"You'd think after getting those looks from her for 5 years we'd not be affected." said Neville aside to Harry quietly.
"I think that time just makes it worse." He whispered back as he eyed the girls speculatively.
Neville gained a look of horror and he tugged on Harry's sleeve, "What if she does that to us and it still works once we're PARENTS!"
Harry's mouth dropped open, his eyes going wide, "NO!"
The girls looked over at his exclamation.
He shook his head back and forth so hard his glasses slid to the end of his nose. "Absolutely not."
Neville eyed the girls then looked back at Harry and lowered his voice, "Are you sure?"
"...Not even remotely." Harry gulped and looked back at the girls who were watching the two strangely.
"Have you been possessed by Peeves?" said Hannah.
"I was thinking Nargles." Hermione told her.
Four people looked at her strangely.
"What? I do listen." She blushed but tried to hold an annoyed look. "Even to the insane ramblings."
Harry adjusted his glasses and grabbed a blank parchment, stole Padma's quill and jotted down a note before adding it to a centre pile.
Hannah picked it up and smiled. "Luna Lovegood needs a stuffed Tigger."
"What's a 'Tigger'?" said Padma in confusion.
"It's like a tiger, but it bounces on its tail like a Kangaroo but the tail's like a spring." Harry tried to explain but could tell by the looks that Padma and Neville were still confused.
"It's a story book." Hermione explained further, "Made for young Muggle children."
"Ok." Neville nodded.
"How do you know those, Harry?" asked Hermione trying not to grin.
Harry looked a tiny bit embarrassed. "Well, I got Dudley's second bedroom and one of the few things in there that AREN'T broke are the books...They stopped giving him books a while back."
A few minutes later they'd almost finished sorting all the letters when the door burst open and Ernie shoved his head in, "One of her group is coming!"
Hermione, Padma and Hannah had a brief non-verbal contest to see who got to go before Padma won. She and Ernie quickly took off to 'patrol the halls'.
"What do we do?" Neville asked worriedly.
"We hide." Susan told him.
Hannah and Hermione played a game of Rock paper scissors - Hannah won.
Hermione sighed in annoyance.
Hannah pulled off her robes - Harry yelped till he realized she did have on clothes underneath - and quickly spread them over their nearly sorted letter.
"Where are we hiding?" Neville asked again.
"We're in a bathroom, where do you think?"
Neville's answer was cut short as they heard people talking outside. Susan grabbed Neville, pushed him into the pool sized bathtub and hopped in herself, hiding under the bubbles.
Harry caught onto the idea, but was too far away to hop in. In a move that reminded Hermione of a penguin, Harry ran, leapt and slid on his stomach into the pool. Hermione jumped in like Susan had.
Hannah quickly climbed in shedding her shirt and shoving her bra straps down just enough to expose her shoulders completely in the water.
Neville and Harry were too focused on trying to hold their breath to notice the now half naked girl joining them in the water.
Susan took pity on the quickly turning blue boys and cast a bubble-head charm on them like the girls already had.
It only took a few seconds after that for Neville and Harry to notice Hannah, blush scarlet and quickly close their eyes much to the girls amusement.
It was several minutes before they were able to surface.
Hannah was growling and looking quite annoyed.
"Never again." She threatened, "You can do that next time, Hermione."
"Assuming there is a next time? Fine." She climbed out of the water and tossed a towel to Hannah.
Harry hummed to himself and was quite clearly ignoring everything around him.
"That just tops off a night." Hannah continued on as she climbed out and grabbed her robes. "Santa lists : Fun. Hiding while working secretly? Interesting. Being leered at by Malfoy? Creepy."
"Sorry."
"Can I open my eyes yet?" asked Neville, a luminescent blush covering his face.
"No." Susan told him seriously, "Never again."
Harry peeked his eyes open a tiny bit to check then opened them all the way when he saw they were decent.
"We're good, Neville."
Padma and Ernie arrived as they finished up the lists. Each person was given their specific list to mail out or acquire the goods on. Harry was looking forward to test-er, looking forward to giving the toys out, that is.
"You're with me," Padma told Hermione, "We're patrolling."
"Well, at least we won't get caught." Hermione hugged Harry and Neville, disappearing with Padma after wishing them good luck.
"I'm escorting Susan back to the common rooms so she won't get in trouble." Ernie offered her his arm making her laugh.
"Wait...Why're we left alone?" Harry protested.
"I think they don't love us." Neville lamented.
"Oh don't be dramatic. I'm escorting you two as obviously I'm allowed to roam the halls and I've caught you two up to no good." Hannah folded her letters and carefully stuck them in the pockets of her robes.
Harry offered her his arm like Ernie had and got a giggle.
"Hey, don't leave me behind!" Neville joked catching up to them as they walked.
"Right, I apologize." Harry held out his other arm for Neville sending all three into laughter.
They made it a few corridors away and a staircase up before running into trouble.
Hearing footsteps coming towards them Harry panicked. He opened the nearest door, shoved the other two in and closed it behind him.
"What was that for?" Hannah demanded as she was smooshed between the two boys.
A broom cupboard...Neville groaned. Of course.
"Someone was coming!" Harry said trying to ignore their situation.
Neville up against one wall, arm braced to keep from falling into Hannah or the door while the other rested around her; Harry wedged against the other wall, his hand caught in Hannah's robes where he'd been trying to shut the door; Hannah trapped between the two, robes falling down revealing the lack of..
"Where is your shirt?" Harry hissed sharply.
"It was wet! I tossed it in the laundry." Hannah whispered back just as sharply. "I didn't expect for this! Why am I in here? I'm a Prefect. I won't get in trouble for being out at night!"
"Yes, but we will and I won't risk-"
"Shut up!" Neville said harshly as the footsteps sounded louder.
Silence...then.
"That's my foot you're on!"
"Well you're hand's too close for comfort."
"Ow! Neville, watch your arm."
"Sorry!"
"Oh, Merlin, please don't let them-"
Hannah's whispered plea wasn't answered as suddenly the door opened.
"What on Earth?"
Harry was temporarily blinded by the light from the wand and squinted against it, when he eased his eyes open he decided there were worse teachers to be caught in weird situations by.
"Professor Sprout." Hannah whimpered and without thinking let her head thunk down into Harry's chest.
"Er, this isn't what it looks like." Harry said quickly, trying to untangle his hand from Hannah's robe.
Neville whimpered facing his favourite teacher and didn't even try to say anything.
The three were hauled out of the cupboard quickly. Sprout seemed to be having a debate with herself about something and after a few minutes she seemed to lose the bright red anger aura. "Right. I'm not waking Minerva up this late so you two - "she jabbed a finger at the two boys, "- are going to go to her first thing tomorrow morning and tell her exactly how I found you three."
"Professor-"
"Quiet! After that she can take as many points as she deems necessary from Gryffindor added to mine."
"You haven't-"
"10 points from Gryffindor each for..." She tried to word it so it wouldn't alert Umbridge in the counters. "Conduct unbecoming a gentleman."
Harry mouthed the words but stayed quiet.
"Go up to your commons now and stay there." She warned them.
"Professor, we-"
"I don't want to hear it. Save it for tomorrow. As for you..." The look she gave Hannah scared them all. "We'll be talking."
Hannah looked at them pitifully over her shoulder as she was dragged off. They heard Sprout muttering about 'writing your mum' and felt horrible.
They shuffled back to the tower trying not to alert anyone to bad.
"Hey, Harry?" Neville said softly as they changed for bed.
"Yeah?"
"Think we should get her something nice? Y'know, for the accident?" Neville was blushing.
Harry bit back a laugh; it really wasn't funny but... "I dunno, what do you normally get a witch after seeing her topless and getting her into a cupboard."
Neville turned a darker shade of red and a strangled noise came out.
Harry tried not to laugh, his breath wheezing out.
"Harry..." Neville squeaked and choked on laughter, "It wasn't just her."
Harry chortled, "How many wizards can say they've shared a bath with three girls at once?"
The duo couldn't hold it back any more and burst into howls of laughter waking up their dorm mates.
The next morning they TRIED to avoid seeing McGonagall for as long as possible, dragging their feet, getting dressed as slowly as they could but it was all in vain. Hermione found them first and asked why they were acting strange. They pulled her aside and quickly and quietly explained what had happened.
She made the same choking noise Neville had and tried hard not to laugh. "Well...it's not funny, or it shouldn't be but..."
"We have to go report to McGonagall!"
Hermione choked and did laugh, "I'll save you a seat at the table."
"If she doesn't kill us first..." said Neville mournfully.
McGonagall turned a special shade of red generally reserved for the Weasley twin's pranks when they, stuttering, told her what they'd been sent by Sprout for.
"I...see." she said tersely.
"It really wasn't what it looked like." Neville tried valiantly.
"I suppose you had another reason for sneaking around the halls late at night with a girl?"
"Ye-"
Harry stepped on Neville's foot, if McGonagall didn't know their plot then she wouldn't be in trouble for 'helping' them. "It was exactly what it looked like." said Harry monotonously.
"I must say, Mr. Potter, I expected better."
Harry tried not to feel too horrible, but the looks she gave him always made him feel worse than the point loss or detention did.
"Sorry, Ma'am."
"Harry, we-" Neville was quieted again.
"Would like to say just how sorry we are." Harry interrupted him. "And say that we would never break any rules."
McGonagall quirked an eyebrow watching them. "Any rules?"
Harry had the grace to blush.
"Detention, Friday night with me." she said, "And 10 more points each for..." she again tried to find a term that wouldn't send up flags, "Being out after curfew. Now, go. Breakfast is almost over and you have classes soon."
It didn't help any matters that the first class they had was Herbology...with the Hufflepuffs.
Sprout sent both boys glares, "Did you speak with your Head of House."
"Yes, ma'am." they said weakly.
"And?"
"10 more points each and a detention." Neville said woe evident.
She nodded, seemingly accepting that.
They were gathered at tables in groups to work on their projects for the day. Ron had been filled in by Hermione what had happened as had Susan and Ernie it seemed as all three were desperately avoiding laughter.
Hermione was smirking, but trying not to show it.
"Hannah, I-"
"Shush."
As soon as Professor Sprout turned her back, Hannah picked up her notepad and began beating Harry over the head with it, amid yelps from him and giggles from others.
Sprout turned back and she returned to her 'note taking' pose.
Facing the opposite direction...this time Neville got hit.
It wasn't long before all the teachers knew which was to be expected as it was an embarrassing secret.
"Think of it this way," Susan offered as Hannah, Neville and Harry groaned at the rumours. "No one will expect us to be playing Santa if she thinks you three are off in broom cupboards sha-"
Susan was chased down the hall by Hannah, laughing all the way.
"This is a great club." Ernie said dryly as he earned another paper cut. They'd gotten all the presents sent in by parents, guardians and in some cases siblings.
"I love the hiding." Padma said sarcastically taping up a present.
"We're not a club," Harry said then paused before adding, "And we're not hiding anything."
"No, we often get a group together and hide out in the Prefect's bathroom surrounded by random Muggle and magical toys." Neville deadpanned.
"We could." Harry muttered.
Silence.
"These things are unnerving." declared Harry as a teddy bear tried to help Harry wrap him up.
"How?" Neville asked curiously. "I had one when I was little, they're just toys."
"I had a unicorn one." Susan offered.
"They gave me a toy badger." Ernie shrugged.
"Muggle dolls don't move." Hermione told them. "And they certainly don't hug you back."
"They don't walk either." Harry said. "I feel guilty wrapping them up."
"That's so weird." Neville made a face, "How do you play then?"
"Imagination." Hermione said.
"I never had any." Harry said, writing the child's name on the tag and placing it aside. "So I didn't really imagine. Well, I had a few tiny tin army men."
He didn't notice the look that passed between Neville and Hermione, but he certainly knew who to blame when he unwrapped a little stuffed bear that playfully growled at Christmas. It was still better than Sirius, who for some reason got a toy GI Joe...