Disclaimer: I'm not getting into it right now…..
Warning: None that I know of yet…
Rating: Only PG-13 for language ((will only change if reviewers request it…))
Pairings: H/D/Hr (main pairing, but won't be till near the end…), Hr/R, H/OC, GW/BZ, SS/RL, SB/RL (mentioned…) ((you all don't like the pairings, don't read. other wise, I encourage you!!!))
Feedback: Would Love It!!!!!!!
AN: Ok ppl, I just wanted to say this b/4 you all continue on with reading this story. This is a repost (as most of you can figure out by now…). I took down my last version of this b/c as I was reading over it I found so many mistakes that, to me, it had to be fixed. I didn't have a beta when I first started this story, so I never had anyone to help me out with it. But since I do now, I figured I'd have this story fixed up and bit. I hope it's better. Thx for the patience everyone!
Ps Note: This first chapter isn't changed around too much cuz there wasn't much that I found that was too bad. Just thought you'd all like to know that…
Still Have All of Me: My Immortal
Warm lips brushed against cool ones. Savoring the taste as two tongues grazed one another, relishing in the moment of desire. Two tanned hands held the pale face in place, as to not lose this sensation, and burning it into both owner's memories and souls. But as the raven-hair figure realized what he was doing, he quickly pulled back, his hands falling to his sides as both individuals attempted to catch their breath.
"I'm sorry…" mumbled the emerald eyed boy as he stared into the deep icy depths of his companions eyes. "I… I shouldn't have….. I should go…" Harry made an attempt to leave, but as he reached the door knob, he was stopped by the other's voice.
"Harry!" Harry was puzzled by the use of his first name, but turned to look at the gorgeous blonde, who took a deep breath before continuing. "… Be careful out there… you know, when you leave to fight…. I know how they work. I don't…"
Harry smiled at Draco. "Thanks… Draco. I will." And he opened the door…and left…………………
//Draco's POV//
I shook my head as the recollection passed through my blurred memory. I blinked my eyes, driving away the intruding remembrance as I made an attempt to focus on my fuzzy and dreary surroundings. Taking in the visions that my eyes provided for me as the exhausted residents walked around in confusing and hopeless manners, attempted to look for others in which they were hoping would still be alive.
…And I just stood there. Just looking at everyone. Just looking at the damage of everyone. The way they all looked, with beady eyes and worn out faces. Almost like they were dying. We all watched silently as the headmaster, who looked a little more worse for the ware than usual, walked in and told us all the news we were waiting almost impatiently to hear…
… And we finally did. It was over! The war was finally over… But then why does it seem like it all just began? Why does it feel like I lost something and that it would be back to haunt the rest of us for all eternity? Why won't the feeling just go away...
What weren't they telling us?
Then it hit me… Where was he? Why wasn't he here?! He's the hero of this outfit, so why in the bloody hell wasn't he here!? …And I didn't want to know the answer. Not the outcome of everyone's worst fears. Please God, don't let what I am thinking be true. Let the bastard be alive. Please let him be living so we can continue our torturous ways to each other, and celebrate that this dumbass war was over. That we won! Please... don't let him be dead……
~*~ I'm so tired of
being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone ~*~
"Well," began the weary headmaster, the only gleam left in his eyes were those of a wet tear. But from what was the question. Happiness? Or sadness? "We can finally say that this war is over. We can celebrate the fact that we are still alive. That we made it without losing too many of our men and women who fought courageously, like true wizards and witches of this world…" Most of the others weep with joy and leaped in the air with ecstatic happiness, others continued to stay in their seat, seemingly lost in their own world. Me? I continued to stand there, looking straight at the old professor, knowing that somehow the worst was yet to be spoken.
"Some of us lost the people we loved most." He paused for a moment here, looking down Granger with sadness. She had lost her fiancée, Ron Weasley, in the fight by saving her life. No doubt she was blaming herself for his death as Fred and George Weasley attempted to console her, which seemed to be working for the time being. "Others may have just barely gained back what they cherished most." Once again, he paused, taking quick glances around at the people who held their loved ones close to them. Most being severely injured, but would heal none the less. "And some of us entered this war with nothing, and left with everything… But most of use will never forget who had died in this fateful war. The people who fought so hard to protect what we all believed in. People like Mr. Ronald Weasley, Mr. Seamus Finnigan, Mr. Terry Boot, Ms. Eleanor Branstone, Ms. Lisa Turpin… and to those of you who are wondering why he is not here… H… Har…"
~*~These
wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase ~*~
I must have looked like a complete and utter mess at this point for I could barely hold back the screaming that suddenly wanted to occur. I didn't want to hear what he was about to say. I just wanted to run away. Run away from the agony that I knew was going to happen. I just wanted to yell at him "STOP!" But nothing would come out. So instead, I stood there, just listening to the tragic news of the raven-haired boy that had been known as "the-boy-who-lived"…
Taking a curt cough to control himself somewhat, he began to continue on what was so hard to say. "Mr. Harry Potter, our savior to the end of this war, was found dead after a search party was sent out for him."
The room suddenly quieted, and in that moment, everything seemingly hit me like a dead weight in my chest. Growing increasingly as my breath hitched slightly. I looked at the floor, but my ears still continued to listen to the saddened Dumbledore, wanting to know as much as he would give about the now gone Harry Potter.
"He died bravely." I clenched my eyes shut. "He died saving most of the people he considered his friends…" I didn't want to see anything but the blackness that seemed to spread throughout my frame of mind "… his family…" The urge to cry became agonizing. "…even some of his enemies…" Please God, make him stop. "… And for this, he shall always be in our memories…" When will the feeling of betrayal end?
~*~ When you cried
I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me ~*~
"But he did leave one thing…" This quickly caught my attention, so I looked up. And as I did so, I noticed his eyes were on me. This somewhat confused me, but I stayed quiet, waiting almost impatiently once again for what he was about to say. "Mr. Malfoy, could you come here for a moment?"
I felt my mouth open, but when nothing came out, I just nodded my head and walked up to him. And truthfully, I felt awkward because I knew everyone was watching me with such confusion about me being called on Potter's behalf that it seemed to burn its way through the back of my skull. But I attempted to ignore it as I stood before Dumbledore, waiting for what I was wanted for. Maybe to be blamed for his death since it was I who had warned everyone? Maybe because he wanted to give me a few snood remarks and curse me for it?... Or maybe he could somehow see the remorse that I was horribly locking away until I was on my own…
"Draco," he started quietly, to the point where the others had to lean in to hear what he was saying, "Harry did have one thing that he held in his hands. It… It was addressed to you." My eyes widen once more. And my throat seemed to tighten as the sudden threat of tears sprang across my eyes. "We all figured that you deserved to have it. Sort of as his own last request, even if he wasn't alive to say it to us."
~*~ You used to
captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me ~*~
The old professor held out his hand. And within his grasps was the letter he was speaking of. And, with bated breath and shaky hands, I slowly reached out my hand and took it in my own.
"You may read it whenever you please, Mr. Malfoy. And if you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to talk to me."
I nodded my head slowly, looking down that the words "Draco Malfoy" written across the front in Potter's careful cursive. My thumb carefully traced my name, the tears seemingly impossible to ignore and almost unfeasibly hard to control. And for some unknown reason, I held my breath. I wasn't sure if I could take anymore than what I had already learned. But no matter how many times I said to myself, "No, don't read it. It'll only make things worse," I couldn't help but wonder what the last words Potter wanted to say to me were. So, instead of walking away, I continued to stand there as I slowly opened the letter. My fingers trembling as I tore the lion seal. 'Always the Gryffindor…'
~*~ These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase ~*~
What I found just seemed to break my heart. The words read:
Dear Draco,
I know this may seems strange. You know, me writing you a letter and everything. But I guess I just needed to tell you something without actually being there, all awkward and most likely beet-red in the face because of my embarrassment. So I figured, "What the hell!" and decided to go along with this. I just hope it works…
So, getting straight to the point…
Look Draco, I'm never sure how to say these things considering I was never good at confessing how I felt to other people. You could call it my weakness. And if I'm sounding confusing, forgive me. I'm just really nervous. So, coming straight with it now… Do you remember that time, just before the major part of this war started, that I… um… well, kissed you? And I said that it was accidental and that I never meant anything by it?
Well, truthfully, I lied…
I opened my mouth slightly, the tears burning my eyes as I blinked them away. 'Why didn't you tell me, Potter?'
I know you're probably reading this and saying "What are you?! Psycho?!" But truthfully, I'm not. I meant to do what I did because, well… I liked you. And yes, I still do, even now. I wasn't sure when this happened, but after we started to become friends, somehow my feelings changed. And I wasn't sure of your sexual preference, so I never said anything about it. And when I kissed you… I wasn't thinking straight and boy did I ever bitch myself out for it afterwards. But somehow, I never regretted it. I just wish you could reciprocate these feelings back to me.
So, I'm offering this, after I give this note to you and you read it, I'll give you a proposition. This proposition is, let's continue to be friends, and if possible, more. But it's your choice. I won't make you try anything you don't want to. I just wish for a chance is all. Even if nothing comes out of it at the end, I could at least say that we attempted. And that I probably enjoyed every moment of it. So all I ask is that you consider it and give me your answer later… Please, just think about it. It's all I want…
But if you refuse, I understand. And I'm sorry for wasting your time like this. I just had to get it all out and tell you while I still had the chance. And thanks for at least taking the time to read this and listen to what I had to say… I love you, Draco. Seriously, I do. And I hope that I always will. So thanks again for listening to me, Draco. I appreciate it. And I hope to talk to you soon. Goodbye, Draco!
Love Always,
Harry Potter
~*~ When you cried
I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me ~*~
After reading the letter, I just held onto it, my eyes closed as the fight to hold back my unwanted tears was near a loss. I heard footsteps come up behind me, and I could almost sense it was Granger because of the quiet sniffling and the gentle hand that grasped my shoulder. And just feeling that hand made my control break as I fell to my knees and my tears finally succeeded as they fell smoothly from my eyes, still clutching Potter's note within my fingers. I felt Granger kneel down beside me as she wrapped her arms around me, whispering things that I could barely even hear to begin with. And I was thankful for her presence because I didn't want to be alone. Not now. Not when I lost the only thing that ever said he loved me… That I ever really loved back.
"Why?" I asked in a whisper, not even realizing I was saying it out loud. "Why did you leave me, Harry? You were supposed to live. You were the God Damn hero! You… you… you weren't supposed to die…"
And then I couldn't say anymore. I instead just sat there in Granger's arms, crying dreadfully as the others around us watched in remorse as new tears found their way through the other's eyes. Granger slowly rocked us back and forth, her arms tightening around me as her own tears fell from her eyes as the thought of losing her best friend and fiancée in this damn war. My arms found themselves around her, trying its best for as much support as they could find while giving as much back.
~*~ When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me ~*~
"Damn you, Potter!" I silently screamed as I buried my face in Granger's hair. "Damn you for being the hero!... Damn you for being a Gryffindor!..... Damn you for being… you… I hate you, Potter! I hate you and yet I love you at the same fucking time!!!" My voice grew as my anger increased. "Why the fuck did you have to go!? I told you to be fucking careful and you… You didn't even listen to me! Why, Potter?! Why?! I loved you so fucking much! And you couldn't even fucking listen to me! I should fucking hate you!!!..." My voice went quiet again so that it was almost a whisper as I finished my last sentence. "But I can't…"
The room was silent at my sudden outburst that was so "UnMalfoy", but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything… Not anymore. "I lost one of the things that I was fighting to protect and keep in this world…" I began to tell Granger, not caring whoever heard. "And I lost it all… All just because I had the audacity to be the fucking hero and tell him and everyone else that Voldemort was coming….
"It's not your fault, Draco…"
"But it is, Hermione." Great, first name basis. At least we're one step closer to not killing each other. "Don't you understand? If it wasn't for me, he'd still be alive! He would be here and…"
"No, Draco! That's just it, he wouldn't! He would still be dead, just like the rest of us!" She lifted my face from her hair so that I was looking into her eyes now. She still had tears running down, probably just like mine. "If you hadn't had said something, Harry would still be dead, as well as you, me, and everyone else. Don't you see? Harry did this to protect everyone, including you… He died saving most of the people he ever cared about, considered family… and loved. Which includes you in this more than anyone else, Draco. You were one of the few things he ever had left before Voldemort attacked. And if he had a choice to do it over again or just sit out and watch everyone die around him, he would choose his first option quicker than you could ever comprehend what he said…
~*~ I've tried so
hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along ~*~
"He loved you, Draco. As well as everyone else who now stands in this room. If everyone had died, he would be berating himself like crazy and die no matter what, even if it wasn't by the Dark Lord." She ran a hand through my hair in a comforting manner, but her eyes never left mine. "He's never going to leave us, Draco. He never has. He's still in our hearts, and he always will be. And we'll meet up with him again… Just not now. Just remember that, Draco. And never forget… That's the only thing you can do."
I just looked at her, feeling fresh tears fill my eyes at the thought of never having Harry here with me. Hermione saw this and drew me into her arms again. And as she held me, I could almost feel two other warms arms wrap around me, but nothing was there except the cool air that surrounded us…
… And this is how we stayed for next couple of hours before we were sent to a different room to continue to mourn.
~*~When you cried I'd
wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me ~*~
End of Chapter 1
AN: K, the chapter one of my repost. If I get enough reviews, I'll try to update again either tomorrow or after Christmas. K, everyone? Thx!
~~~ Blue Rosed Dragon @};-