A/N HELLO! I'm back! I've been working on re-writing Please Alice. This is what I have done so far. Once I get some more done I will post! OH! I am going to pretty much keep the story the same, just adding things, and taking some things away to make it better! Please Alice is the most popular book I have written, so I hope the revised version is just as good! Thank you all for reading this, and please tell me how you like this! Thanks so much all of you!
-Esmefan1-Elissa
Day one
Dear Alice,
I'm emailing you because it's the only way I know how to contact you. I hope you haven't changed your email address. Alice, I need you to email me back. This almost doesn't seem real. It's like every second I expect him to open my front door and everything will go back to normal. I miss his smell, his smile, his laughter, him holding me. I miss him. And you and your family. I can't believe this is happening. Sam found me in the woods after Edward…. left. I had tried to follow Edward, and I guess I got lost. I had no hope, no reason. I gave up on everything. Alice you don't understand. I have NO reason to live anymore. All I do is lay in my bed, or lay on the couch, and cry. It doesn't seem real. It feels like he left on a hunting trip and he just isn't back yet. Alice you need to tell him to come back! He said I need to move on, but where do I go? Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet. Please. I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Two
Dear Alice,
Why haven't you emailed me back yet? Did you change your address? Why would you do that? Did you see that I would email you? Alice, he said it would be like he never existed. But I see him everywhere. I can't watch T.V. or read a book or listen to music with out seeing him. I swear I even heard his voice! I had the most wonderful dream last night, Alice. I dreamt Edward was in my room, holding me in his arms and telling me he loved me. But that dream quickly turned into a nightmare. Charlie came in while I was screaming. He is really scared about me. And I understand why. My life feels empty. Like something is missing. He is missing. Why can't I stop crying Alice? My eyes are red and they hurt. You would think by now I would have cried all the tears I could, but they just keep coming back! I don't want to cry anymore! I just want him to come back. I want to be whole again. Be happy. Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet. Please, I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Three
Dear Alice,
No emails. None. Where are you? My nightmares are getting worse, Alice. I need my best friend. Why did you leave? Why? I keep crying. I can't keep doing this! I can't keep lying to myself. Edward is not coming back. And neither are you. Life has no meaning to me anymore. My friends try coming to visit me, but they don't stay long. I never talk. There is nothing to say any more. Jessica calls me everyday. I don't really talk. I don't keep the conversation going. Can you see me? Are you having visions of me? Can't you tell that I'm not happy? Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day four.
Dear Alice,
Where the heck are you? These have been the worse four days of my life and my best friend isn't here to tell me it will be better. Edward isn't here to hold me, you aren't here to tell me it's going to be okay, and now I'm all alone. I don't know what to do any more. I don't know who to be anymore. I'm only me when I'm with him. So…who am I, when he isn't here? Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Five
Dear Alice,
Everything is about him. I see him everywhere. It's getting worse; the nightmares. When are you coming back? Why are you not emailing me back? Is he with you? Is he reading this? Why did he leave? Was it because I wanted to be what you are? Did he think by leaving it would change my mind? Change my feelings? Everyday gets worse. I would rather die than live with out him….that's an interesting idea… I wish Sam had never found me in the woods. I would be dead. That would be better than this. All I am now is a hopeless. Hopelessly in love with a man who doesn't love me. A man who will always have my heart, even if he wants it or not. Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Six
Dear Alice,
I have no new emails. Do you hate me? Was it because I was too much temptation for Jasper? Do you hate me for almost making him slip-up? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I hate myself Alice. Is it okay to want to die, Alice? Is it okay to hate myself? Charlie is really worried about me. He said he was going to send me to Renee. I don't want to go. You can't go to Jacksonville. He cant go there. I have to stay here in Forks. Incase…Incase you come back. For as long as I live, how ever long that is, I will stay here for you. For Edward. I still have nightmares. I still cry none stop. Don't worry about me Alice. I'll find a way to make this stop. I am trying to put up a good front for Charlie's sake, but he isn't buying it anymore. Jacob Black came over today. He has gotten really big. Jake is nice to me. He talks to me. The hole is a little smaller when I'm with Jake. But, it's still there. And the pain is still there. Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Seven
Dear Alice,
I went to the hospital today. I fell down and cut my arm. Charlie came home and saw me staring at my arm. It didn't hurt. I was bleeding a lot though. I half expected Carlisle to be there. But, of course, he wasn't. Will I ever stop crying Alice? Will you ever reply? I know you hate me. I know he hates me. But, I love you. I love him. The nightmares are getting worse, if that's even possible. My throat hurts. I scream too much at night. Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Eight
Dear Alice,
I feel like these emails are like a pity party. I pour out my troubles in these letters and expect…what? That you will email back? That you will somehow care about me? That Edward will care about me? These emails will do nothing. You probably aren't even getting them! So, I'm going to stop. At least for a few days. Mom is flying over. Charlie thinks it will "Help" with mom here. Like, if I have another girl to spill all my girl troubles on it will all be okay. He has no idea how much I truly love you guys. So I will beg you again. Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Twelve
Dear Alice,
I can't believe its been four days since I emailed you. I actually think I got worse not emailing you. Charlie and Renee have absolutely no idea how much I love you guys. Renee keeps treating this as "Aw, your crush moved away" and Charlie see's it as "Some stupid boy used you then left." They don't understand. That "Crush" was the love of my life. He is my life. And that "stupid boy" has more of a hold on me then gravity.
Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Thirteen
Dear Alice,
Jacob came over again today. We had a fight. He said something about him. I think he knows what you guys are. I yelled at him. He ran out of the house. My hole in my heart got bigger. It hurts more. I want to die Alice. But I don't want to hurt Charlie and Renee. But I know I'm a huge burden on them. Maybe it would be better for them if I was gone. Alice. I can't take it anymore. What life do I have? I don't talk unless I'm asked a question. I don't start or continue conversations. I barely eat. I think I've lost 5 pounds. Could you please come back now? Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Fourteen
Dear Alice,
Jacob won't call me back. I think he hates me too. My hole keeps getting bigger. You need to email me back Alice. Before the pain swallows me whole. Please Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Fifteen
Dear Alice,
Jacob called me. He said he loved me but he couldn't hang out with me anymore. Why is it that every body who says they love me, leaves me? Will Charlie go too now? And my mom? Why cant I just die already? My hole gets bigger everyday. 16 days ago, my life was perfect. I was happy. Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Sixteen
Dear Alice,
Jacob came over last night. He made me guess what he was. And guess what? He is a werewolf. Are all mythical creatures real? What else have you guys not told me? Are Fairies real? Or better yet, what about Wizards and Witches? My hole got a little smaller when Jake was here. He said he was really sorry. He promised never to leave me. But lots of people make promises that they break. He promised it would be like he never existed. He lied. The existence of him is everywhere. Even when I close my eyes, he is always there. In my thoughts, my dreams. Where are all of my birthday gifts? I can't find them. Did he take them back? Alice. Do you care for me at all? What about Esme? Or Carlisle? Emmet? Jasper? Rosalie? Does everybody hate me? Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Seventeen
Dear Alice,
I hate this. I can't take it anymore, Alice! I can't take the fact that he hates me! I can't take it! I love him! I love Edward! I always will. The nightmares are worse. The hole is huge. The pain is worse then the pain I felt after the attack from James. I've never felt worse. I'm dead Alice. I died the day Edward left me. Did you know its been exactly 300 hours since he told me he didn't want me? I have been dead for 300 hours. Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Eighteen
Dear Alice,
I'm sorry I blew up yesterday. My emotions are haywire. I wish Jasper was here. He could help me. I miss Jasper. I miss all of you. When are you coming back Alice? My heart hurts so much. Will I ever stop crying Alice? The hole keeps getting bigger. The pain keeps getter stronger. Make it stop Alice! Please Alice! Please! Yesterday I had a panic attack. I saw a shiny silver Volvo, and I thought it was him, but it was not. I had to go to the hospital. I like it there. Everything is so white. White does not remind me of him. I think I will try to get a part time job there. Maybe it will help with the hole in my chest. Alice, why wont you reply? Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Nineteen
Dear Alice,
Will I ever stop loving him? Will I ever stop wanting him? I guess I don't have to be a physic to know the answer. No. I will always love Edward. And I will always want him. Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Twenty
Dear Alice,
Come back. Please. Nothing happened today except the hole got bigger. I'm so tired. I hardly ever sleep. Jake is busy all the time. I secretly think he is avoiding me. I will try to live Alice, but I don't think I can hold on much longer. I need my best friend. I had a nightmare last night. You were in it. You yelled at me. You said you hated me. You said you always hated me. Is it true? Have you always hated me? Why don't you email me back? Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Twenty-one.
Dear Alice,
Do you remember the last time you dragged me shopping with you and Rose? Remember how much I said I hated it and I wanted to go home? Truth is…I liked it. I felt…apart of your family. It felt nice to have sisters! How are you, Alice? Have you been okay? How about the family? The family I once thought I could belong to as well. I still cry a lot. I'm still trying to stay alive Alice. But it gets harder every second. Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Twenty-four
Dear Alice,
Sorry I haven't emailed in a while. My mom came to visit. I actually felt happy when I saw her. We hugged for a long time. She told me about her and Phil and how she loves Jacksonville. She commented about every other second about how cold and wet it is here. Just like her to complain right? It's just now twilight. The sky looks so beautiful right now. I wish you could see it. Alice, I see him everywhere. I hear him too. I know I sound crazy but it's true. I miss him so much. I need you all to come home. Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Twenty-five
Dear Alice,
Alice, you aren't coming back are you? Why couldn't you have at least said good bye? Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Twenty-six
Dear Alice,
You are gone. He is gone. I spend a lot of time with Jacob. When I'm with him I feel almost whole. It's like there is a big band-aid over the hole, but it's still there. I don't think it will ever go away. I am going to Angela's house tomorrow. Charlie said if I don't spend more time with my friends, he is going to do something drastic. I still need you here Alice. I need my best friend. Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Twenty-seven
Dear Alice,
I went to Angela's today. I think I had fun. I talked to her about you. I told her how much it hurts me to think of you. She is a really good friend, Alice. I think you would have liked her. She is sweet and kind. And she listens with out judging me. She doesn't think I'm crazy because of how I'm acting, she's just worried. Alice, where are you? Charlie said you guys moved to L.A. but of course I know that didn't really happen. I am still crying Alice. Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Twenty-eight
Dear Alice,
It's been twenty-eight days! It feels like it has been a life time. One thing that makes me really sad is…I don't want him to become a memory you know? Like, Greg Madison, this kid I had a crush on in 6th grade. He is only a memory. The feelings I had for him are only a memory. I don't want Edward to be like that. I don't want him to be a memory, I want him to be here. Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Twenty-nine.
Dear Alice,
So, what have yall been doing? I bet you guys live somewhere by a large mall. Or do you guys live up in the mountains? I know Edward loves Mountain lions. Are you guys going to school? I really wish you would email me back. I at least wish I knew where you guys are. I just want to know if you guys are safe. I know Victoria is still out there. What if she wants to hurt Edward? You would see that right, Alice? You would be able to see if he was going to get hurt? If Victoria was planning on going after you guys? Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Thirty.
Dear Alice,
Charlie is taking away my computer. He says he doesn't know for how long, but apparently Renee read some article about teen-break ups. And I guess it said that Teenagers hide themselves in their computers and won't go out into the real world long enough to heal and some other crap. So, he says he is taking my computer. This might be the last email I send for a while. I hope not though. I need Edward so badly. Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
Day Thirty-seven
Dear Alice,
I'm at the library using the computer there. Charlie still wont let me have my computer even though it's been a week. Is it sad that even the Library reminds me of Edward? Am I crazy to still be emailing you? It's been over a month! But, I think this is helping me. Please, Alice. Come back. I need you. I can't live this way. I'm dead on my feet Alice. Please I need you. I need him.
Love, Bella.
A/N Thanks for reading! Please don't forget to review! Thank you all!