Legal Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own the characters nor do I own some of the thoughts and sentences I used that were inspired by the song 'Het Is Een Nacht' of G. Meeuwis & Vagant.
Set to one of my favorite songs (which none of you will know unless you speak Dutch) 'Het is een nacht' by G. Meeuwis & Vagant (literally translated; it is a night). It's an amazing raw ballad from the 90's of which you all are missing its beauty on because of the language.
You ask me if I fancy a cigarette and I quietly decline, fixing my eyes on the one that's dangling from you sweet and luscious lips. Those same lips that seemed unable to untangle themselves of mine not so long ago, only parting to welcome the foreign air even if it felt like your pant was all I needed to breath. I'm surprised you smoke, as I wouldn't have pegged you as a person who'd voluntarily endanger her health. But the way you close your eyes when you inhale that toxic yet welcoming smoke makes me realize that I might not know you that well as I think I do.
I barely manage to shift my gaze from your exhilarated and relaxed demeanor to look at the glaring red digits on the bedside table. It's 2 AM and we're both laying here in this bed, basking in our perfectly indolent state. Not having a care in the world and unable to think a single coherent thought at this very instant. Not wanting to think at all, because this is that moment in your life that you'll never forget. This is that little part of your existence that will forever be scripted in the back of your mind and that will always somehow find its way back in every singly action you fulfill and every single choice you make.
Your cigarette illuminates the dim room we're finding ourselves in and I can't help but take in our surroundings. I try and absorb every single thing around us, because everything went by in complete haze just a few hours ago. Nothing of this all has registered in my mind, because it was too consumed with lazy smiles and lustful eyes and heated whispers. I look around and I wonder how we found ourselves in this lost hotel room, in this forgotten city where no one hears us, where no one knows us and where no one bothers us.
I spot an empty bottle of wine on the floor and scattered pieces of clothing that could be yours or mine. I smile at the image of the bottle, remembering how it got here in the first place. I think about how oddly excited I felt when I saw you stealthily snatching it from the secret stash, assuring me that the owner of the mansion could miss a bottle or eight. You already finished smoking your cigarette when you softly mold your naked body with mine, resting your head right above my chest. Letting the rhythmic beat of my heart lull you into a peaceful sleep.
And in the dusk of the night, with the radio softly playing in the background and my hand tangled in your long blond locks, I realize that this night I will never forget. Because this night is everything I ever expected – but never experienced - a night to be.
This night, where you're soundlessly sleeping with your head drawn to my chest, is a night you'd normally only see in movies. This night, where we discovered each other in ways that I'd never thought I'd ever discover anyone. Where we connected in a way that I cannot describe, in a way that was non-existent for me throughout my years of strange beds and unknown companions. It's a night that you only hear about in the prettiest songs. Countless nights I have spend with girls I did not know, with girls that were just looking for a good time just like me. No strings attached and the moment it was over, so was I. Escaping through darkness, not bothering to leave a note or to even get to know their name. Barely remembering their face in the drunken stupor of my excitement. But this night is so different from it all. Because this is a night I never thought I'd live through.
Yet here I am experiencing it with you.
You're already fast asleep when I'm still wide-awake. One hand threading through your hair, the other trickling up and down your spine and eyes staring at the bland ceiling above us. Memories of meeting flood back in as if this night started such a long time ago, making me wonder how I was ever able to live this life without you. Making me wonder how I could breathe so easily when now it seems that your disappearance just might mean the end of me. I think about those cobalt eyes that drew me over to your side of the room, those luscious lips that lured me into talking to you and those dangerous hips that tempted me into an endless dance that has yet to end. I didn't even hesitate when you pulled me away from those suits and dresses that do not fit in my way of living, that do not fit in our way of living. The effortlessness in which I left it all behind to escape with you. Not knowing where the journey would take us and where it would end.
And now I'm laying here with you in this god forgotten city, in this unfamiliar room and foreign bed were I just experienced the night of my life. A night I will never forget. My musings are interrupted as I notice the faint light trickling inside the room. Bringing me back to this hurtful reality and making an end to those enlightening hours of darkness. Letting me know that time does not stand still, not even for the most meaningful moments. Although we would both argue that matter because when your back arched and my breath hitched, the whole world slowed down and nothing mattered but you and me.
I feel you lightly stir in my arms and I end all of my motions, not wanting you to wake up. Not wanting this night to end. Ignoring all the red glaring numbers and traitorous daylight that tell me otherwise. All I need is to feel you warm skin above mine and your delicate face resting above my beating heart. All I need is your even breath to enchant my ears and your soft locks to tickle my skin. All I need is you and me to make this night never ending. But alas your body has a different state of mind as it untangles itself from mine, making me feel so lost and cold and vulnerable all at the same time. But the lazy smile that forms on your face before your eyes even find the time to open themselves, makes something stir deep inside of me. The affectionate hand (that now knows me in the most intimate ways) that is leisurely sliding across my stomach and eventually finds its counterpart, intensifies the unknown emotions you unleashed last night. And when you sluggishly open your eyes and meet mine just the way you met them last night, the seconds last just a little longer and the annoying tick of my watch stops for the briefest of instants.
The moments we shared, the moments we're still sharing are something that cannot be described through an overplayed song or an overrated movie. Because a song only remains with a string of words and a movie is a compilation of well prepared and calculated scenes. But this night that I shared with you is merely authentic. It's something that will forever be a part of us, something that will never cease to exist. It's the night in which you discovered my most intimate places both inwardly and outwardly. It's the night in which I finally got to experience feelings and emotions I had only heard about and that I envied endlessly. It's the night in which I learned what falling in love just might mean, because why else would my stomach flutter the way it flutters or my breath hitch the way it hitches? And as you slowly lower your head and barely brush your swollen lips with mine I wish that this night would truly never end. How do you go back to nameless faces and faceless bodies after experiencing what I just experienced? How can I fuck someone, anyone after I made the sweetest of love with you? How can I go to anything, anyone, anywhere that is not you?
And as you bite your lip, tilt your head, squeeze my hand and sweetly ask;
"Do you wanna have breakfast with me?"
I think that this night can be prolonged just a little longer. And when I bashfully smile and hoarsely whisper that I'd love to, I think that this night only has to end when we want it to end. And the increasing beat of my heart and the ever-changing-color of your eyes tell me that it won't end any time soon.