Ok, so this is my first attempt at a fanfic. In fact, it's really my first attempt at putting a whole story onto (virtual) paper. I love writing stories in my head, but I just find it hard transmitting them onto paper. Obviously I'm gonna go Lizzie x Darcy, but please excuse me if my romance areas aren't that realistic, as I haven't had much experience in that area. Well. Any really (forever alone). But still, I love reading romance, and I've loved writing this. I wanted to get this written before we know exactly how it plays out, and I have, partially. I have squished the awkward conversations (which has already happened in TheLBD) into the same time as Darcy's proposal (which hasn't). Anyway, I really hope that you enjoy this, feedback is appreciated. Also, if i get positive feedback on this, I'll write a second chapter, which will mainly be Darcy's letter to her, and the aftermath. Well, I might, I might not. We'll see how it goes!
Lucy
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters!
"In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed.
You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."
A Dinner Not A Date
I looked up from my laptop as Charlotte rushed in.
"Lizzie, Darcy wants to see you." Darcy wants to see me? Why? Maybe I didn't want to see him. Maybe he can't just summon people when he likes.
"Me? Are you sure? I mean, there's a Lizzie in accounting?" To put it mildly, I was clutching at straws. Nevertheless, I really didn't need a summons right now. I was trying (and failing) to edit my vlog. I don't know how I managed without Charlotte.
"Yes Lizzie, I'm sure," Charlotte sighed. "He specifically said 'Could you please fetch Elizabeth, I wish to speak to her.'"
"Urgh, why does he think he can summon me?" I complained. "It's not like I work here or anything."
"No, but you are completing an independent study on the company – maybe he wants to help you?" Charlotte suggested. Please! Help is definitely not Darcy's forte.
"Ha! The DarcyBot does not understand help-" I trailed off at Charlotte's disapproving look.
"Lizzie, please just go. I really don't need any bad reflections on me. Darcy's already on my case."
"Fine… I'll go, but only for you. Not because I want to do what Darcy wants me to," I grumbled. Did he really think he could just ask and get? I guess you can when you wonderful, honourable Miss De Bourgh's nephew.
As I was walking towards Darcy's office, I could've sworn that everyone was staring at me. I really hoped that they didn't know something that I didn't… or maybe I was still wearing my hat. Nope. Wasn't wearing the hat. I almost hissed at someone, but then remembered what Charlotte said. I was determined to behave.
Finally, the walk of shame finished, and I was left facing a door. Darcy's door. With some reluctance, I knocked, and hoped he wasn't in. Of course he was in. I opened the door and walked in. And there he was. The bane of my existence. Well. Almost. And inexplicably, he smiled.
He actually had the cheek to smile. Actually, it's quite a nice smile, you know, not that I paid much attention to it, obviously, but just, in general terms of smiles, it's quite a nice one. You know.
"Elizabeth, I understand Charlotte found you?" He was still smiling. I wasn't sure what to do in this situation. I wasn't used to smiling Darcy. So I just stood there… and smiled back.
"Elizabeth?" he prompted.
"Yes, yes, she found me, but, er, please, call me Lizzie" Oh dear. I don't know what I was thinking. It's just; smiles have this effect on me.
"Right, ok, Lizzie" Now he was looking even more smiley. So I did the most sensible thing possible. Closed my eyes. OK, so maybe that wasn't a very sensible thing to do, but I was having a lot of trouble remembering that this was the man that I had complained about for the past six months.
"Eliza- sorry, Lizzie, why do you have your eyes closed? Is it perhaps too bright in here? Should I close the blinds?" Why was he being so nice? I couldn't deal with nice Darcy!
"No, the blinds are fine; I was just feeling a bit… faint."
"Faint?" He sounded aghast. But I wouldn't know, because I still had my eyes closed. "Perhaps you should sit down?" I heard a chair scraping, and then I opened my eyes and he was right in front of me. I stumbled backwards, and sort of fell into the chair.
"Lizzie, do you perhaps need a drink of water?" Now his smile just seemed mocking. Well, it was his fault for creeping up on me. "Or some rest? You seem quite out of sorts."
"No, it's ok, I'm fine," I took a deep breath before continuing. "I was just wondering why you had asked me in here."
"Ah yes. Well. I believe that we, what I mean to say is," What was this? New Darcy personality day? First smiley, now hesitant! "What I mean to say is, I don't believe that have had a chance to, um, get to know each other properly."
Ok, now I was confused. Darcy wanted to get to know me? I mean, it's not as if I was going to see him much. I mean, once I left Collins and Collins, I would probably never see him again.
"You want… to get to know… me?" I queried.
"Yes Elizabeth, that is what I implied." And he was back to 'Elizabeth'.
"Right, so er, do you want to 'get to know me' now? Because I think Charlotte and I are going home in," I check my watch. "About ten minutes."
"No, no. I was wondering if you might like to, possibly have dinner with me, maybe?"
I almost gasped.
"Like… a date?" I was getting worried now. Jane could not have been right, all that time ago.
"No… just a dinner," he answered, as a hint of a shadow passed across his face. "Just a dinner."
"Right, a dinner. So when were you thinking of doing this?"
"Well, I've booked a table at Orchid for Friday night. Would that be ok for you?" Orchid. Wow. That's quite a nice restaurant. Expensive and kind of… romantic.
"Wow, um Orchid. Sure! That would be great."
"Really? You'll come?" Oh god. Was I really going? I hated the man, didn't I?
"Yes!" No! I couldn't go. I couldn't spend an evening with him. This wasn't happening.
"Wonderful. I shall pick you up at seven then. Oh, and you might want to wear something a little more… formal than usual. Although if you have nothing suitable, I understand, you probably do not often dine at high class establishments." And there he was. The Darcy I knew. The proud, pompous, self-important Darcy.
All the reasons why I hated him came back into my mind. Jane, poor Jane. Heartbroken, and sobbing for a week because of this man in front of me. George, denied what was rightfully his because this arrogant man didn't want him to have anything. I could feel hatred bubbling up inside me, overriding any thoughts of smiles, and knew I had to get out of there, before I started screaming at him.
"I'm sorry, I have to go now," I forced myself to be polite, if only for Charlotte's benefit. "I will see you on Friday."
And then I walked out. What just happened? Why did I agree? I was so confused. How could he have been so charming one second, and then so annoying the next? I honestly didn't understand him.
When I got back to Charlotte's study, she was still there, tapping away at some motivational video about vegetables or something. She looked up as I walked in. "Oh, hey Lizzie. What did Darcy want?"
"Nothing much," I kind of wanted to put that strange conversation out of my head. "Doesn't making those videos get boring?" I asked – we didn't need to spend more time than was necessary on Darcy.
"As a matter of fact it doesn't get boring. Another fact is that you, Miss Bennet, are trying to change the subject. What did he actually want?"
And then it all kind of came tumbling out.
"So I went into his office and then he smiled at me and then I closed my eyes which wasn't a good idea and then I fell over and then he said that we didn't know each other enough," I paused for breath. "And then he said that we should go out for dinner, not a date, and that he would take me to Orchid, and then he ruined all his niceness by telling me I don't dress formally enough for it."
"Wait, so you're saying that Darcy is taking you out for dinner? I thought you hated him?"
I sighed. "Yes, I do hate him. Well no. I hate him a bit. No. I hate him a lot. He broke Jane's heart and took George's money and he called me low class. Effectively. And I'm just so confused and I don't know what to think anymore."
Charlotte looked at me sympathetically. "I really think that you're getting too worked up, Lizzie, it's just one dinner right? It's not like you've made a lifelong commitment or anything!"
"It's not even a commitment? Is it? Would you call it a commitment? I mean I don't have to go. Do I? Charlotte what-"
"Lizzie. Calm down. Now what did you say about him calling you low class?"
Now I thought about it, it kind of sounded funny "He said 'you might want to wear something a little more… formal than usual. Although if you have nothing suitable, I understand, you probably do not often dine at high class establishments' I mean, what is that even supposed to mean? I dress formal don't I?"
"Well, to be perfectly honest, it's possibly not formal enough for Orchid," I knew this voice. It was Charlotte's 'I-have-a-plan' voice "But that doesn't matter, because who do we know with all the right contacts?"
And five emails, three phone calls, and four faxes later, I was sitting in Charlotte's living room, wearing the most expensive piece of clothing I had ever laid on. Couriered over from LA, Jane's note attached had read:
Dear Lizzie,
I hope you like the dress; one of my colleagues sourced it from a sample sale – apparently full price it's over $5000 – so be careful – because she wants it back intact!
Missing you lots and lots
Jane
Xxx
PS – Aren't you going to tell me whom the dress is for?
The dress was very nice. It was kind of floaty, and bluey-green. But still. Who spends $5000 on a dress? You could spend it on Wi-Fi. Or food. Or anything really.
And no, I didn't tell Jane who I was having dinner with. You never know, she might have seen Caroline. I did not need this spread round the whole of LA.
But that wasn't the point; the point was, that I was about to spend a whole evening with Darcy, and as the doorbell rang, I regretted more and more agreeing to this evening.
I opened the door, and there he was, immaculate as ever. "Good evening, Lizzie, you look… wonderful." He seemed shocked to see me out of my usual attire. To be honest, so was I.
The journey to the restaurant was short, and pretty much silent, except for Darcy commenting how uncommonly cold it was for October, and my agreement.
When we arrived, and were directed to our (seemingly very private) table, I couldn't help but notice how nervous he seemed.
We settled down, and it was not until our starters arrived that I realised that I was going to have to make conversation. Darcy was obviously battling some internal struggle, or completely hell bent on cutting up his chicken into perfect cubes.
"So, Darcy – you and the Lees left Netherfield very suddenly last month."
"Yes, I believe Caroline wished to return to the city."
"But surely Bing did not have to go too?" I queried.
"I am informed that they both missed the city."
"And so I assume that they will not be coming back soon?"
"When I left, they were very happy in LA, they have many friends there, and I should guess that they will not be returning to Netherfield soon."
"But surely they have friends at Netherfield? Do they mean nothing to them?"
"The Lees have friends of certain calibre in LA" Calibre? Calibre? Did he just call my family low calibre? How could he? Obviously, Jane wasn't high enough calibre for Bing in his eyes.
"But please, surely you do not wish to talk of Bing all evening?" Well, it's something to talk about. "How about you, are you enjoying your time at Collins and Collins?"
"Err, I guess I'm enjoying it. It's nice seeing Charlotte, she seems to be settling in well."
"Yes, I think she is. I believe my aunt is pleased with her."
"She is? Charlotte seemed to be under the impression that you had been sent her to catch her out."
"No, that is not the case."
"Oh." I was pretty sure he was lying. Why else would he be here? It's not like there was anything exciting here – surely he'd rather be back in LA with his high calibre friends? But I didn't say this. I knew it would just provoke an argument.
After ten minutes of silence, in which Darcy studiously seemed to be looking anywhere but me, he spoke, "Lizzie I-" he paused. "Please excuse me for one moment. I will return shortly."
When he came back, he seemed calmer, and more composed. As he sat down, he started talking.
"Lizzie, I do not know quite how to say this, nor how you will receive it, however, I don't feel that I can keep it to myself any longer." I didn't know what to expect next. "The thing is, I'm in love with you, and I don't really know what to do."
Wait, what? Darcy was in love with me? This was not happening. This could not be happening. Suddenly the room felt small and stuffy, and I knew I had to get out of there.
I stood up and walked quickly out the nearest door I could find. I opened it and stumbled blindly (was I crying?) into the restaurant's garden. It was cold, and I immediately cursed myself for not bringing out my jacket. Then I remembered I didn't bring a jacket. Why didn't I bring a jacket? Oh yeah. None of my jackets 'went' with my dress.
I sat down, shivering, on a bench, and silently sobbed. I just didn't understand.
"Lizzie?" Oh no. He'd followed me out here. I stood up and quickly wiped my face. "Are you- are you crying?"
"No," I sniffed. "I'm not. I'm just… confused. It doesn't make sense. I'm just Lizzie. If Jane wasn't good enough for Bing, how can I possibly be good enough for you?"
"I'm confused too, Lizzie. But you have charmed me without realising. My family almost certainly would not approve of you, but I find myself thinking of little but you. Although in every sense you are different from me; in family, social standing, career, our likes, and our dislikes; I believe I am falling even more in love with you. It would make me so happy if you would agree to be my girlfriend."
I opened my mouth to say something, then realised that I didn't have anything to say. I could not comprehend what he had just said to me.
I stood, staring at him, and shivered.
Suddenly I was aware of how close we were.
A strand of hair escaped from my fancy hairdo, and curled over my face.
He reached to sweep it away, and then his hand was on my face, and then he kissed me.
He actually kissed me. And then I realised that I didn't mind. All of a sudden, everything seemed right. I wasn't cold anymore. I relaxed. I could feel his arms around me and then I remembered Jane, and I turned away.
"Darcy, how can you do this to me? You split up my sister and her boyfriend, just because you don't think that she's high class enough; you deny George the money he is owed; and then you lure me here, to 'just a dinner' and then you kiss me. I cannot believe that you think I could have feelings for you! I don't wish to cause pain to anyone, but I cannot ignore the fact that you have broken my sister's heart, just because of your stupid pride!"
Darcy seemed to struggle to speak for a second, then composed himself. "Is that all you have to say?"
"No, in fact, it isn't. I do not understand why you decided to insult me in your little speech! Of different social standing? Once again, I most talk of Jane, the nicest, most kind creature anyone would ever meet, and you divided them merely because you deemed her not to be good enough for him. Could you deny this?"
"No, I cannot. It would be a lie to say I did not split them up."
"Then there is one fault that would prevent me from ever accepting your hand. But not only that! You have been most unduly harsh to George Wickham, a great friend of mine, and one that does not deserve the misfortune heaped upon him. You have deprived him of the means to enjoy the best part of his life."
"Misfortune? You are blinded by your prejudice." He turned away. "I can see that it is no longer any use my staying here. You have made up your mind to hate me completely, whatever I do. My feelings were true and I cannot take what I said back, but you cannot complain about my method of communicating it to you. It was hard for me to admit that I had feelings for someone who is so decidedly below me"
"Darcy! How can say things like that! Had you any real feelings for me, you would not still be offending me like this! As to your method of communication, I hope I can put your mid at rest, and say that however you had worded it, I would not have been in the slightest bit more inclined to accept you. From the moment we met you have been rude, proud, pompous, vain, arrogant, conceited and every second I have spent with you has made me dislike you even more. I can tell you that you are the last man in the world that I would ever consider as my boyfriend!"
"Well, Elizabeth, you seem to have made your feelings quite clear," in his voice was a sort of resigned acceptance. "Would you like me to call you a cab home?"
"No thank you. I'm sure there will be one outside."
There was. As I got in, I said goodbye to him, and for the first time that evening, I let the tears flow freely.
