Disclaimer:
I, Hana M. Rose, do not, nor will I ever, own Naruto or any of its characters; they are the sole property of Masashi Kishimoto-sensei, nobody else. This fan fiction was made purely for entertainment purposes only.
"30 More Ways to Tell if You're a Narutard"
(Sequel to "50 Ways to Tell if You're a Narutard")
By: Hana M. Rose
Humor
You know you're even more of a Narutard when...
1. You couldn't find nine other people to dress up like the Akatsuki with you for Halloween, so you decided you and four friends could cosplay as the Oto no Goninshu instead.
2. You acquire many different colors of hair-dye.
3. You feed your dog a red marble, thinking that it would turn its fur a crimson color and make it go feral.
4. You eat a green, yellow, and red gumball, claiming that it's a new diet program with instant results.
5. You get your left eye replaced with your choice of either a Sharingan or a bionic eye-thing, only to cover it with your hair or hitai-ate sometime afterward because you realize that it looks dumb.
6. You want to kill anyone that has pink or platinum blonde hair because they are useless members of society. (This only goes if you think that you are Uchiha Sasuke.)
7. You deem guys in belly-shirts "hot", albeit others would suggest that he was fruitier than the produce section of the supermarket.
8. You actually think that petal pink and red match, even though it is quite clear that they don't.
9. You refuse to eat your vegetables, maintaining you would be labeled as a cannibal.
10. You trap your friend under one of those plastic storage containers, claiming you can suck out their chakra with the Dotonkekkai Dorodomu technique.
11. You comically play the song "Walk on Water" by Aerosmith every time you see a character do as such.
12. You wish your hair could defy gravity or get it to look like a duck's ass.
13. You find out that you're related to the leader of a notorious group of criminals with an uncountable number of piercings and a name that's pronounced like the word "pain".
14. You become obsessed with origami.
15. You surgically get the piece of flesh under your tongue snipped so you could pick up kunai with it.
16. You teach your pet snake how to swallow swords.
17. You find a huge (and completely nasty-looking) slug crawling up the side of your house and name it "Katsuyu".
18. You swear that your condition of nearsighted-ness (or farsighted-ness) is a Kekkei Genkai.
19. You call your apathetically impassive friends by the insult of "Teme".
20. You call your idiotically retarded friends by the insult of "Dobe".
21. You think that, every time you're caught in fog or heavy mist, you will die a horrible death by the hands of a so-called demon in need of a set of braces.
22. You hold a water balloon in your hand and turn red in the face from concentration, maintaining you can make it burst by having the water rotate within.
23. You wake up to birds chirping in the morning, convinced that someone is performing the Chidori.
24. In art class, your teacher told to make a plaster mask and you end up painting it in the image of an ANBU mask.
25. You want them to come out with the English version of "Icha Icha Paradise", completely disregarding the fact that it is, in fact, porn.
26. The only thing you have to look forward to all week is a twenty-two minute episode to be put on the internet in Japanese because the English dub sucks so badly.
27. You want to bring back Shakespeare using the Edotensei technique so he could "read between the fucking lines", as Shakespearian literature doesn't process very well for you.
28. You strongly believe that people can pop out of uber random puddles.
29. You consider the required physical fitness test you have to take in gym class a "survival exercise".
30. You try to hypnotize your friends, maintaining you're going to put them through a personal hell with Tsukuyomi because they ate all of your chocolate pocky and totally deserve some kind of punishment for doing so.
BONUS! You know you're an extreme hentai when you think Deidara uses the mouths on his hands for other than their intended purpose.
— End —