A moment of weakness

"Good morning everyone!" Mikan greeted as she stepped into the class. Everyone turned around and said good morning too.

She ran over to Hotaru and tried to hug her but was only shot down by her idiot-gun.

She pouted, "You're so mean Hotaru."

She went over to her desk and sat down Natsume wasn't there yet. It was weird because Ruka was there, she didn't have any more time to think about it because Narumi came into the class. He began calling names and Natsume was the only one who wasn't there. Strange.

The bell rang and they had recess. Mikan thought it was weird that Natsume still wasn't there and went over to Ruka.

"Hey Ruka. Why isn't Natsume here? Is he sick?"

"Hello Mikan." Ruka looked worried, "I don't know where Natsume is. I haven't seen him since yesterday, he didn't come back to the dorm last night."

"You don't think they would send him on a mission, do you? I mean he almost just came home from one."

"…I don't know Mikan we just have to wait for him to come back."

"…Yeah." Mikan muttered solemnly.

At the end of the day there still wasn't any sign of Natsume

Mikan looked out from her window. The rain was pouring down from the grey sky. She was looking for Natsume if he suddenly came back and needed her she needed to be ready. Her phone rang and she went over to pick it up.

"Hello. This is Mikan."

Hey Mikan, this is Ruka. Come over to the boys dorm I think Natsume's back.

"What? How do you now?"

There are wet footprints down the hall. Just come.

"I'll be right there, wait for me."

Mikan got her coat on and ran out the door. She ran over to the boys' dorm, Ruka was waiting for her outside his door.

"Let's go…" She panted.

He nodded silently and walked towards Natsume's room. There were occasional bloodstains on the floor. So they knew that he was hurt. As predicted the footprints led into Natsume's room.

They tried to knock but when no one answered they just went in. the lights were turned off and the room laid in darkness.

"Natsume?" Ruka asked and turned on the lights. Natsume didn't reply but they could see him sitting on the floor on the other side of the bed. He was soaked, his hair was dripping and his white shirt was clanging to his body. Blood ran down his arm. But the most shocking things were his eyes. They were lifeless. He looked at them ignorantly.

They moved closer, "Natsume."

"Mikan, Ruka. …What are you doing here?" He asked with a monotone voice.

"We were worried about you. Are you okay?" Mikan asked quietly.

"I'm fine."

"You're going to catch a cold if we don't get you dry." Mikan said and went to the bathroom to get a towel. She threw it over his head and started drying his hair. Natsume didn't say anything just let her do what she wanted he didn't have the strength mentally to tell her not too. Ruka found him some dry clothes and they sent him into the bathroom to change.

I have only seen him like this 2 times before. This is what happens if Persona pushes him too far and he himself thinks there is no meaning to life. Just for one night his metal state worsens and he gives up fighting because he can only see the dark side of everything. I mean he can't think that it gets better tomorrow because it won't and he knows it. When he wakes the sun will just shine on hell again. Right now he is psychologically exhausted… Mikan thought.

Natsume came out from the bathroom, his lifeless eyes looked straight at them. The cut on his arm was bleeding; it ran all the way down his arm and dripped from the tip of his fingers. Ruka took his other hand and led him to the bed. Natsume sat down. Mikan and Ruka went into the bathroom to get the emergency kit. They knew they weren't getting Natsume to the hospital today.

"This is the worst I've seen him… What should we do?" Ruka asked.

"I don't know. Get him to sleep as fast as possible and hope that he is himself in the morning."

Suddenly they heard something from inside the bedroom. They ran in there. Natsume was sitting on the bed and hitting his wound, his eyes staring into nothingness.

"Natsume stop!" Mikan and Ruka shouted and ran over to restrain him. They pushed him down onto the bed, and held his arms down.

"Let me go. Don't touch me or you'll get burnt too…" Natsume whispered.

"Were not going to get burnt Natsume." Mikan said strongly.

"I can only hurt people." Natsume stated.

"That's not true and you know it Natsume."

"Stop it. Let me go. Let me go. Let me go." Natsume struggled and pulled his arms out of their grasps. He sprang up and ran to the corner. He sat with his back to the wall and his knees pulled up. "I should just die…" Natsume whispered, "What's the point of living…?"

Mikan looked at him angered and kneeled before him, "Don't say that! I know you're exhausted right now Natsume but you can't give up." She took his hands in her own.

He pulled his hands away from her, "Stop you'll get hurt."

Mikan looked at him solemnly and then threw her arms around him, "See, I'm not getting hurt! I trust you Natsume you won't burn me. You can't die Natsume, you can't leave me, I love you."

He stared at her, and gradually relaxed in her arms. She's right I can't give up. She is the biggest reason I do this and if I give up then I can't be with her any longer. Even if I hurt people and get forced to do missions, this girl is always there to welcome me back. I haven't given in yet; I just had a moment of weakness. Thank you Mikan, for pulling me back on track.

"I love you too…" He muttered just before he finally succumbed to exhaustion. He fell asleep happily thinking that he was fine if he had Mikan. Although he knew in his mind that tomorrow the sun rose on hell again.

"He's asleep." Mikan stated. Together they lifted him up on the bed and began treating his wounds. When they were done Ruka went back to his room. Mikan just laid down beside Natsume and quickly fell asleep.

Sun shined on Natsume's face, waking him. He winced as he rolled a little onto his bad arm. He looked beside him and his eyes immediately landed on Mikan. She looked like an angel when she slept. His hand reached up and caressed her cheek. She stirred in her sleep but didn't wake up.

I'll be strong for you…