Dulling the Ache
By Havilande Nicollette
---Crossover : BTVS/ X-men
---Pairing : Willow/ Suggestions??
---Summary: Willow goes to New York and tries to fit in... at Xavier Institute. After almost destroying the world... life seems tough.
I don't know what I'm doing here. I came to New York. Of all places, New York. I guess it's because I needed to blend in. Match the crowd. My pain will be buried beneath everyone else's. And I can feel everyone else's pain. Not the best feeling. I left Sunnydale. Couldn't stand how they shunned me. I packed up all my spell books and clothes and just... left. I got on a bus and ended up in Westchester, New York. And here I am, thinking about the past. Thinking about all the horrible things I had done.
I had killed. Killed a human. He wasn't an innocent, he killed Tara, but that gave me no right to murder him in cold blood. Then I lost it. Attempted to kill all of my friends. Attempted to destroy this world filled with pain. Xander stopped me, for now. I still feel all the pain. It's there, inside of me. The pain, the hatred, the loathing, all there inside of me. Where is the innocent, playful Willow? The one Xander used to love. The one that cried because she broke a yellow crayon. The one that babbled on and on about boys whilst another apocalypse approached. The one that returned Angelus his soul. Where is the lovable nerd of Xander's? She is lost. She is somewhere, deep inside of me. Hidden beneath pain of Oz's departure, Tara's departure, and then Tara's death. All that pain mingled with the world's almost ended existence. I almost killed everyone and no one will ever know.
I'm thinking of starting up a life here. I could work at one of these restaurants. One of the one's that serve outside food. It sounds suitable enough. I'll wait a few more years to start college again. If I ever need anymore money I can just do a spell. Giles told me to stay away, but like I said...where is the lovable nerd? Gone. I obey my own rules, and I hope they won't bring about the world's end. I will start another life now. Away from all the pain.
So it begins.
By Havilande Nicollette
---Crossover : BTVS/ X-men
---Pairing : Willow/ Suggestions??
---Summary: Willow goes to New York and tries to fit in... at Xavier Institute. After almost destroying the world... life seems tough.
I don't know what I'm doing here. I came to New York. Of all places, New York. I guess it's because I needed to blend in. Match the crowd. My pain will be buried beneath everyone else's. And I can feel everyone else's pain. Not the best feeling. I left Sunnydale. Couldn't stand how they shunned me. I packed up all my spell books and clothes and just... left. I got on a bus and ended up in Westchester, New York. And here I am, thinking about the past. Thinking about all the horrible things I had done.
I had killed. Killed a human. He wasn't an innocent, he killed Tara, but that gave me no right to murder him in cold blood. Then I lost it. Attempted to kill all of my friends. Attempted to destroy this world filled with pain. Xander stopped me, for now. I still feel all the pain. It's there, inside of me. The pain, the hatred, the loathing, all there inside of me. Where is the innocent, playful Willow? The one Xander used to love. The one that cried because she broke a yellow crayon. The one that babbled on and on about boys whilst another apocalypse approached. The one that returned Angelus his soul. Where is the lovable nerd of Xander's? She is lost. She is somewhere, deep inside of me. Hidden beneath pain of Oz's departure, Tara's departure, and then Tara's death. All that pain mingled with the world's almost ended existence. I almost killed everyone and no one will ever know.
I'm thinking of starting up a life here. I could work at one of these restaurants. One of the one's that serve outside food. It sounds suitable enough. I'll wait a few more years to start college again. If I ever need anymore money I can just do a spell. Giles told me to stay away, but like I said...where is the lovable nerd? Gone. I obey my own rules, and I hope they won't bring about the world's end. I will start another life now. Away from all the pain.
So it begins.