Devout Christians might not appreciate this take on the Gospel story.
1.
"Careful, Judas, we don't want an accident," Mary said as he continued his thrusts.
After a few minutes he said "Oops!"
"You idiot," she said. "Well, let's hope we get lucky. If not, this'll be hard to explain, since he can't get it up and I'm supposed to still be a virgin."
2.
Two months later, she crept into Joseph's room as he slept and whispered into his ear "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the holy spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." She repeated this many times.
3.
Ten months later, she said "Be more careful this time. I think we got away with one virgin birth, but more would be hard to explain." He pulled out in time, and she helped him finish with her hand. Both knew that it was a sin, but nowhere near as hard to explain as another virgin birth.