A/N: Hello! I'm following the K.I.S.S. (Keep it simple, stupid) philosophy on this one, so please leave me any comments, criticisms, or reviews, and hope you enjoy!
Oh, and PS, special shout out to Lyn Harkeran for being my guinea pig before I'd fully edited. *sheepish grin* Bless and Luff! :)
Oh, and PS, PS, for the sake of clarity, this story was written based on the anime series as opposed to the movie(s) or manga- I still need to go find those.
-Echo :)
Like Birds in the Storm
"Birds sing after a storm. Why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them?"
- Rose Kennedy
The most complicated part of returning to college was supposed to be manipulating Light into a confession, but for L, it felt more like the easy part. The exams and the classes themselves weren't too difficult, either, but the social aspect was throwing him off. Since when did anyone look twice at the reclusive genius in the back of the room? And who was this raven-haired girl, anyway?
There were two things L knew for certain: she kept cropping up in his classes, and he couldn't afford to get distracted. Okay, so he might have suspected a third thing- avoiding her was going to be difficult to do. It seemed his weren't the only pair of eyes staring across the room during classes, and it was getting to the point where he wasn't sure whether to keep watching Light or the over-obvious girl. Was she a spy? Some sort of investigator who suspected him? Surely she wasn't Kira? She looked fairly ordinary (not as far as women went, but in the sense that her staring was too blatant for a professional at surveillance.) No matter how he tried, the thought of her kept nagging on his mind.
Who are you? And why are you watching me?
He didn't realize he had spoken out loud, or that she was close enough to hear him from her seat across the aisle, but the girl reddened as she met the intensity of his gaze.
"I am Shiratori Koemi. And I'm watching you because I was wondering the same thing."
L didn't blink, but continued to fidget, his thumb worrying his mouth and his knees tucked up on the chair. "You're wondering why I'm watching you? I wasn't."
"No," she shook her head, glancing up to make sure no one was listening over the lecture. "I was wondering why you're watching him." The girl nodded a few rows up, to the place where Light Yagami was hunched over taking notes. She wasn't about to tell him that it was only partially true. L squinted at her.
"You're rather the observant one, aren't you. Well, I can't tell you, but hopefully this will satisfy your curiosity instead."
In one fluid motion, L produced a red-wrapped foil candy and handed it to her, or rather, pinched it between his thumb and forefinger and dropped it on her desk. She seemed surprised, then stifled a laugh.
"Um, what's with… I mean… thank you?"
"It's just sugar. I promise it won't hurt you. I find that the best way to keep most people occupied is a snack. Oh, and you might want to eat that. We're not supposed to have food in here."
She stared at it, then him, then it again, and decided it would be less ridiculous if she just ate the thing than it would to try to respond to a comment like that. With a smile of both gratitude and amusement, she twisted the wrapper open and stuck the candy in her mouth, blinking innocently at the professor whose attention had found her at just the wrong moment. He glared at her suspiciously, then went back to droning. Koemi dared one more look at L, then without another word, took dutiful notes until the lecture ended.
L stood up, regretfully sliding his feet back into his shoes and directing them towards Light. Before he could take a step, a slender arm stuck out in front of him holding a folded white page.
"For you. Oh, and I forgot to ask. What's your name?"
"Ryuz- Ryuga," said L, at war with himself as to whether to look into her sharp gray-blue eyes or to follow his suspect through the door. "Hideki Ryuga."
"Like the singer?"
"Exactly like the singer."
"See you around, Ryuga," she said, standing up beside him, and even though he slouched, next to her he still seemed extremely tall.
"Goodbye, Koemi," he said, losing track of Light and tilting his head to her.
"Goodbye?" she said, weaving towards the door and waving. "Not at all."
That was the first conversation he had with the girl, but he thought it would also be the last. It was for that reason that he was surprised when, while sitting on a bench in the courtyard, a glimmering silver something or other hit him squarely in the forehead the next day.
"Sorry! Oh, no, I am so so sorry! You okay, Ryuga?"
The silver something had fallen in his lap, and when he glanced down, he could see it was a piece of chocolate. Slowly, he looked up to find Koemi centimeters from his face.
"I didn't mean to hit you… I just wanted to…"
Before he knew what was happening, her fingers reached up to touch the spot where she'd hit him, brushing aside his dark hair to check for a bruise.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to make sure you're alright."
"It was only chocolate... And, uh, I have a hard head."
Her eyes panned down to meet his, and he vaguely wondered what that tight feeling in his chest was. She flushed, and slid back.
"Why are you laughing at me?" he asked.
"I'm not…" She turned away, pinker still and trying to keep a straight face. "I'm not laughing at you."
He quirked his head. "Why, am I not funny? I thought it was pretty good."
She gave up and laughed, a high but hearty sound, and he shuffled over to make room for her on the bench, hunched like a bird on a wire.
"So… can I eat this now?"
"No," she said, and he stopped with the chocolate halfway in his mouth. "I just enjoy throwing truffles at people. I'll be wanting that back."
Looking slightly crestfallen, he held it out to her.
"Of course you can eat it, silly! What, do I look like someone who assaults people for fun to you?"
She was bewildered that he actually seemed to be considering this as he stuffed it between his teeth and chewed.
"Well, no, but deadly things don't always look deadly. But you? ...No, I don't think so. I'm twenty percent certain. Don't look so worried. I'm never wrong."
She closed her eyes, muttering something along the lines of a prayer for strength, before she turned to him, deadpanned.
"Oh, believe me, I'm deadly. Looks like you may be wrong after all. Care to find out just how deadly, say, across the street at the coffee place?"
Wait, what?
"Are you meeting someone there? If you're trying to kill me, you could be a little less obvious."
"Kill you? I ask you across the street and your first thought is that I want to kill you? Oh, for heaven's sake, Ryuga, haven't you ever been on a date?"
"Hm. A date?" mused L, running the word over his tongue. "Can't say that I have."
"I don't believe it. I don't believe you."
"Why not?" he said, and for some reason, his heart was beating unusually fast. Could it be the sugar was finally getting to him?
"Are you really going to make me spell it out to you?" she sighed, simultaneously exasperated and entertained. Instinctively, L inched away from her.
"Get back over here, Ryuga," she said, pulling his sleeve so he slid even closer than he'd been. He gave her the impression of a deer in the headlights.
"You're smart. You're funny. You've got ridiculously great hair. Now would you please stop making me feel like an idiot and tell me if you'll go out with me already?"
L paused, twitching his nose like a rabbit trying to sense danger. She let go of him and he spoke slowly.
"I would say that the likelihood of you flirting with me was one in a million, but judging by your actions... you could be that one."
Koemi just stared at him- (why did she have to have such captivating eyes?)- then stood up, biting her bottom lip. He wanted to say something else for some bizarre reason- what was that expression supposed to mean?- but for once, he didn't have the words. She was halfway across the courtyard before he considered stopping her, and by then it was too late. He sighed, and over the breeze, barely heard her ironic remark. "Very good, Ryuga. What gave me away?"
For the next two days, he tried to focus on Light, but he thought about her. What was wrong with him anyway? Why should he care if she hadn't spoken to him again; if she never did? He had far more important things to worry about with the game he and Kira had to play. Misa didn't help any, the way she clung to Light when he met her that first day. What was wrong with himself, if not even serial killers had problems with girls and he did?
But miraculously, two days later, there she was again, hurrying towards him as he strode with his hands jammed deep into his pockets on his way to his car and home.
"Ryuga!"
It was a shame, he thought, that she had to call him that.
"Yes, Koemi?" He said, recognizing the voice and turning to see a figure flying down the sidewalk.
"Uh, hi."
"Hi," he echoed.
"Uh... I'm… I'm, uh, really sorry for putting you on the spot back there. I mean, the last time I saw you. I mean, not the last time I saw you, because I saw you yesterday, but the last time we talked-" Koemi burst out, panting as she raced up behind him and leaned on his shoulder to catch her breath.
"Why?" he asked, stiffening at the warm touch of her hands and looking down at her.
"Huh?" She paused, furrowing her eyebrows, confused. To his relief, she straightened up and stepped back.
"Why should you be sorry?"
She looked at him incredulously, her hair mussed so that it resembled a halo. "You don't… so you don't hate me?" she said.
L sighed, trying to decipher his jumbled thoughts. He hadn't expected her at the moment, and he'd been on the brink of a mental breakthrough in the Kira case when she'd shown up. It was late afternoon, and he hadn't been home since early that morning. Did he really have to spend his time worrying about feelings? His head had started buzzing when she arrived, and now he couldn't think straight. He needed to eat something. That was it.
"Are all girls this convinced that guys want to hate them?" he asked evenly, wondering (despite how much he'd wanted to see her a few minutes earlier) when he could get home to his snack stash. Koemi hopped from foot to foot, apparently nervous. He pushed down the impulse to do the same.
"I… I just thought, since I sort of put you in an awkward situation, that you would... wouldn't… I just wanted to be friends, or something, and I thought I might've ruined my chance, with my dumb giggling and teasing and you're just so… And here I am babbling again. Do you mind if I just… start over… oh, forget it!"
"I think it's cute."
The second he said it aloud, he wanted to stuff it back into his mouth, but it was too late. But it wasn't like he could just let her think he hated her. Still, he needed to focus on the investigation, and the best way to proceed was not to tell this strange girl that she was attractive. Even though he'd be lying to himself if he pretended it wasn't true.
"What?" Her voice had dropped to an intimidating whisper, but it had mostly shut her up. There was a tense moment of silence. Good thing he was already an expert at awkward.
"I said you're cute," he repeated. Stop it, me. What am I doing? He thought, not that it did any good. "I like your dumb laugh and when you tease me. No one's ever done that before. Like I said, it's endearing."
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Way to go, L, she's staring at you. You've just won yourself a spot on another girl's list as best-case cheesy, or worst-case, a perverted freak.
Cute? She thought, stunned. Cheesy, but she'd been called much, much worse, and she hadn't expected to be much more than a nuisance to someone as… undefinable... as him. And let's be honest, she herself was about as cheesy as girls come. She hesitated, then couldn't help herself.
"Does this mean you want to go for coffee?"
L nodded, suddenly alert and unable to avoid rocking back and forth on the spot. "It does."
He hoped the coffee place had pie.
He had to admit she had good taste. He wasn't so sure about her taste in men, but she put copious amounts of both sugar and cream in her coffee, and the strawberry-stuffed layer cake looked better than the pie did. After they'd both paid for their coffee and cake, (neither would let the other pay for them no matter how hard both of them tried,) they settled at the corner table where a bay window gave them a perfect view of a blue, cloudless sky.
"So, tell me your story, Ryuga. I know almost everyone who lives nearby, but I've never seen you a day in my life. Not from around here, I take it?"
"Oh, I'm from around here," said L without offering further explanation.
"Oh. Well, it's a shame it took this long to run into you then. So, hey, could you pass me a napkin?"
L turned and reached over the seat to get a napkin, and gingerly picked one up to hand to her. Rather than using it on her face or hands once she had it, Koemi flattened it out and began folding it, making strategic creases and smoothing them with her thumb.
"Is that origami?" asked L, leaning over the table to watch her.
"Uh, yeah. My father taught me when I was very young. I find it relaxing and it focuses me, especially since… never mind. Here, this is for you."
On her palm, what had once been a thin paper napkin rose into the image of an angular bird. When she moved the tail, the wings flapped in imitation of flight. For something once so lifeless and dull, the creation was beautiful and strange.
L looked it over, then, keeping his eyes trained on hers, he plucked another napkin up between his finger and thumb and huddled over it, imitating her every move until he, too, had made an origami bird. He reached over and cupped her hand around it, so that both held a bird in a finger-made nest.
"How did you-?" Koemi gawked.
"I observed," said L, for the first time truly smiling. "Please," he continued, removing an entire stack of napkins, irises glinting, "Show me more."
And for the next hour, Koemi did just that. Despite the passersby that had by then started to gape at the mountain that lined the table and seat backs and grew in folded white flowers from the floor, the staff didn't seem to notice until they ran out of napkins and L went to the counter to ask for more. Shrugging since they'd long ago finished their cake, and with an entourage of birds, frogs, flowers, stars, and all sorts of other things in their wake, the two of them were escorted outside.
"That was fun," said Koemi, trying not to laugh at the bearded man that still scowled at them from the coffee shop's door. L chewed on his lip and smiled.
"Hm. Yes, it was…" he stopped halfway over the curb and the girl had to pull him back before he could be hit by a speeding taxicab. "I don't suppose you'd want to go back tomorrow, am I right?"
"Tomorrow?" she asked, pleasantly surprised. "Well, they probably won't let us back in there, but you can call me any time."
"Call?" said L as she nudged him away from the road and along the sidewalk.
"Yeah, call. Don't tell me you lost my number."
"Uh, you're number…"
"The paper I gave you when we met?"
"Oh, this?"
From inside his pockets where his hands were already firmly jammed, he retrieved the paper, not lost, but bearing the shape of an origami rose. Koemi snorted and shook her head, beaming nonetheless.
"Well, as long as you have it."
L shrugged. "I hope you don't mind. I couldn't resist."
For the rest of the way back, they walked in amiable silence, but about halfway, L startled when Koemi inched over to take his hand. Side by side, they made their way to L's car where he'd told the taskforce to leave it. By the time they returned, it was almost dark.
"It's… it's difficult to explain, Koemi," L blurted once they were in the parking lot beneath a glowing streetlamp. "My story."
"What?" asked Koemi, confused.
"At the shop, you asked me for my story, and I couldn't tell you. I still can't tell you."
"Oh. Okay," she said quietly, wondering where he was going with this. "Right."
"But I must warn you- it's dangerous. I'm dangerous," he said. "In case you thought… in case I don't…"
"In case you don't what?" she pressed, brow furrowing.
"In case… I can't call you back."
Koemi's expression softened, and she stared wistfully up at him, touched by the concern etched in his dark, intelligent eyes.
"These are dangerous times to all of us. But it's not me you need to be worried about if Kira's after your life."
"How did you-?"
"I'm observant," said Koemi, echoing him as she smoothed the curling sleeve of his shirt. "Take care of yourself, Ryuga."
And she was gone, having faded into the shadows, before he could even offer her a ride.
The days passed, and he called her at least three dozen times. Occasionally she had classes, and occasionally he had to cancel for the sake of the case, but L wondered if this is what it felt like to be truly happy for the first time in his life. Mostly, he kept it secret, except for the incident where he was so caught up in his thoughts that he answered his phone while surrounded by the other members of the taskforce. Matsuda heard her over the line and teasingly asked if it was his girlfriend.
"Only if that's a new term for informant," he mumbled, concealing a grin beneath the fringe of his hair.
He didn't think anyone believed the lie.
But time was running out, and he knew it. His play at the college had been made, and before he blinked, it was his last day of surveillance in the world outside.
He almost didn't tell her, but it would be cruel to drop her without a word. It wasn't that he wanted closure, because he didn't want to even believe it was over, but he couldn't leave her thinking he'd suddenly died. Even if it were to come true shortly after, he'd feel better if she didn't find out. At least he'd be at peace knowing she would move on with her life.
"Hey, Ryuga! Hideki Ryuga!"
There she was, standing in the rain that was all too fitting for a day like this. Voluminous clouds billowed forbiddingly across a silver stormy sky. He was already soaked through to the bone and water streamed down his nose and blurred his vision, but that didn't stop Koemi from flinging aside her umbrella and hugging him tight.
"Koemi," he said, his pale skin glowing ethereally in the unnatural light.
Koemi pulled away, flushed pink as ever, but her smile fell when she caught sight of his frown.
"What's wrong, Ry?"
"It would seem," he sighed with his gaze glued to the pavement some ways away, "That is, I regret to say that this is goodbye."
"What? What're you talking about, Ryuga? What's happened? What's wrong?" she questioned. She poked his cheek to get his attention, but he didn't respond. "Oh, for heaven's sake, L, do me a favor and just look at me!"
The rain and the two people doused in it paused, as slowly, slowly, L looked at her with barely concealed shock.
"L. You called me L."
"Yes…" said Koemi, biting her lip in his signature way. "Yes. I think I did."
"I take it you're going to kill me," he said stiffly, prying her fingers from his arm and walking around to the other side of his car. Koemi reached for his sleeve, but he pulled it away, terrified of what he might do if he caught sight of the truth in her familiar blue orbs. She followed him, tiptoeing over the puddles that splashed her legs nevertheless, and she wrapped herself around his waist before he could open the vehicle's door.
"Kill you? How could you even say such a thing? After all this time, don't you trust me at all? Wait, I'm sorry, L- Ryuga- L- whoever you are!"
He stopped, simultaneously repulsed and longing for the warmth her body heat gave him. All this time, and he'd believed in her. Why this, out of all the instances in which he could have been wrong?
"L- it's what that boy you were watching called you. I didn't mean... I just overheard… Please, Ryuga, I know I can't expect a full explanation, but you at least owe me a name. Why, Hideki? Just answer me!" she shut her eyes. "...I just want to know who you are…"
L paused, hands now clinging to hers, but no longer trying to tear them off. Instead, he loosened her grip and pulled her around to face him. Though they were obscured by the rain, he thought there might have been tears trickling from her eyes.
"My name is L, and I am only human, just like you. That's all I know, and all I can say. Please don't cry."
"L? The L?"
L hesitated, then nodded. A fresh wave of tears spouted, and he awkwardly lifted a finger to brush them away. "Please, Koemi, it's harder when you cry."
"Then maybe I should keep doing it," Koemi said, sniffing and hating how pathetic she must sound. "You weren't kidding when you thought I was going to kill you, then, were you?"
He shrugged, his bare feet drawing in the mud.
"Or," she whispered, barely audibly, "when you said you were probably going to die."
"No, I wasn't," he confirmed, stitching the corner of his mouth. "I'm sorry. It's not my first choice, either."
"I have a story to tell you," she said, gently lifting his chin. It took every ounce of her strength to take a breath, but she was steadied by his, a soft hum in harmony with the pulse of his heart. "Kira's the reason my parents died."
"Kira thinks he's doing the world a favor, and there are those foolish enough to believe it, but I know better. He thinks he only kills criminals, but he doesn't care about the people stuck in the crossfire. Right after he began killing, when accidents started to happen that weren't accidents, my parents were on their way home from the market when there was an explosion ahead of them with a huge semi. The road heaved up and crushed everything in the vicinity. Including the cars around them and the innocent people inside."
A hush fell over them, and Koemi inhaled shakily, ducking under the overhang created by his bent posture and resting her head on his chest.
"What I'm trying to say is, thank you, L," she whispered into his shirt, "I'm sorry for… so many things, and wish I could do more. Just promise me. I know you have to go, but please. Promise me that you'll do everything you can not to die."
"I…" muttered L, deep in thought as he absentmindedly rolled a strand of her hair between his fingertips. He caught the scent of vanilla. "I'll try, Koemi," he said, cradling her closer, and in the process, standing uncharacteristically tall.
They laid out on the hood of his car, and talked as the night fell around them and the icy wind sent the heavens pouring down. They closed their eyes to protect them from the sting, but though the cold water washed their skin, it didn't pierce them now. For what might have been an eternity, they spoke into the void, two voices echoing in the blackness but comforted by the words that reminded them that in the darkest of times, they were not alone. It was long past midnight when the rain slowed and Koemi stirred, leaving L's damp shirt clinging coolly to his side.
He felt something on his forehead, and he opened his eyes to find Koemi leaning over him, brushing back his wet hair. She pressed a kiss to the exact spot where the chocolate had once given him a bruise and she grinned at the all-too-familiar doe-eyed look he wore. Leaning over even further so that he could feel her breath dancing on his neck, she whispered in his ear teasingly, "I never kissed it better. That's for what I said and did before."
Laughing, she slid from the hood as he bolted upright, just in time to catch her hand.
"Goodbye, Koemi," he said, staring into her starlit blue eyes and wishing this could go on always. He didn't want her to leave, but if he didn't say it now, he might never. How quickly the hours had passed them by; if this was the justice he was pursuing, it had never seemed to yield such an insufficient reward.
"Not at all," said Koemi, reaching up to touch his face in the moonlight. Forever was too long of a time, she thought as her smile dimmed. When this was over, she'd be watching and waiting for him, as she had only days, and yet lifetimes, before. It broke her heart to let him go, and even if he could mask the pain, she couldn't bear this rigid goodbye anymore.
Without another word, she kissed him, right where she'd wanted to the moment she fell for him, smoothing away the lonely memories etched in those damned and irresistible worry-lines. And he kissed her back with the eagerness of a child and the earnestness of a man who knew it was his last chance now that their brief infinity was gone.
"Find me, if you can, L. Remember me," she whispered, her cheek pressed to his cheek, her head buried in his neck. Shimmering like a memory, the girl smiled, and L's lopsided grin reflected in her luminescent eyes.
For the last time, Shiratori Koemi vanished into the shadows, flying from the safety of his arms into the iridescent haze, a streak of light with a raven-haired halo flapping behind. As suddenly as it had ended, the city was cold and empty again, leaving a ghostly man to shine alone in the dark.
L slid from the hood, numb and shivering, and something dropped from his lap when he did. Bending under the weight of putting off tomorrow, he looked down at the object gleaming from the ground and cocked his head.
Something lay nestled in the mud at his feet. Something that once was white and was now a murky brown. Crouching, he leaned down to pick it up: a little origami bird with flapping wings, feeling heavier than it should have even once he'd stroked the muck off. With one finger and a thumb, he bent the wings apart to see what was inside, drawn in by another mystery. Unintentionally, the soggy napkin tore.
Within the tattered pieces, he saw a flash of silver. It was swift enough that he might have imagined it, but he was sixty-five percent certain he had not. The bird was destroyed, but he hardly dared to hope something survived as he peeled aside the paper and dropped its contents onto his palm.
It was a piece of foil, and L immediately recognized the sphere that was Koemi's gift for what it was. It wasn't an accident that she'd left the bird behind; it was another sweet layer on a nest of things he'd remember her for. He unwrapped it to reveal a swarthy brown surface, crumpling the foil before he stuck the chocolate into his mouth. As expected, it was simply delicious. Koemi and her truffles. He determined to ask for a huge bag of the candy the next time he sent Watari or one of the others to the store. Tomorrow would come, and Kira would be waiting, but for the moment he blissfully laid the worry somewhere he couldn't see it, beyond the churning smoke of the oncoming storm.
Hm. Chocolate. He loved chocolate, because candy was the one consistent comfort in his turbulent life, though his concept of "home" was long lost. And perhaps… perhaps he loved her, too: the gentle bird who'd spread her wings and flown from his reach into the tempestuous night. Retrieving his keys from his pocket, L clicked the door handle and slid into the warmth of his car, cranking up the heater that doused him in humid air. Breathing deeply, he sat thinking, his fingers worrying his mouth and his gaze transcending the stars. He finally turned the key, but he couldn't hear it running, or the sizzling of the lightning, or the pitter-patter of the rain as it once again began to gingerly pour. In the silence of the city, a wet, wistfully-smiling man drove into the early morning smog.
He had to admit it was peaceful there, weaving through the abandoned streets, chased by the first strokes of light. Unable to glance back, L- his eyes wide and unblinking- faded with the nocturnal echoes into the pre-dawn and out of sight.
A/N: Hello again! So much for the K.I.S.S. philosophy. lol. Just curious, did the ending seem a bit wordy for anyone? Was the dialogue okay? (Dialogue is my personal demon.) Any advice would be appreciated. And if you have any tips for writing OCs or Death Note in general, I could really use that, too. I'm new to this fandom and don't really know what I'm doing (sorry), but some stories tend to write themselves. Speaking of which, if you've got any recommendations for L fics to read, I'm kinda obsessed, so please share. Also, any recommendations for other animes (again, new girl here) to watch, I'd be grateful. :) Oh, and sorry/not sorry that it was so painfully cheesy. (Haha, hope it wasn't so bad you need brain-bleach.) Thank you if you suffered through to the end, have a fabulous week, and wishing cake, coffee, and chocolate (if you like/eat/drink those things) for you all. :)