Title: See up there
Disclaimer: I think I lost it somewhere in England ;P
Word Count: A billion Words. Can't you see?
Warnings: Too many too write. There may be consequences after reading this. So beware! It would be the best, if YOU would put on your glasses and your hat and also your winter coat. Only as a precaution. You can never know. There might me a sandstorm from Egypt, only ordered for you. ;) (And if you ask yourself know: "Why exactly a Sandstorm?" So I will answer: "For you to choke on it!!!")
Rumors or the World through Rita's pink-coloured Glasses
My dear lovely readers, may they be big or small, human or non-human (i am very sure, that i have no giants, werevolves or other beasts among my faithful readers) witches or wizards.
Last week I visited the beautiful castle and school in Scotland called Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. There I had a meeting with the famous old coot, also known as Albus Dumbledore, the man with the lemon drop obsession and the idle widle twinkle tick. Of course I will not deny, that he is indeed a very great wizard and the only one of whom He-who-must-no-be-named is afraid, but you know the line between genius and madness is a very thin line. But enough of that. This matter will not be discussed in this article. Maybe another time my faithful readers. (maybe you should read my biography and my opinion on the famous people "My charming being")
Rumor has it that our current Golden Boy named H. J. Potter has been seen with his long-time nemesis also known by the name of Draco Malfoy. Maybe you ask yourself now, what I mean by "have been seen". I could also mean a quarrel between these two, as they have already happened very often in the past, but no, my faithful readers, our 12 year-old-boy-who-still-lives interacted very inappropriate for a child his age. (Mr. Potter is currently 17 years old, but Mr. Skeeter is very likely to oversee it or she doesn't really bother and she never did well in Maths after all.) Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Potter were making out in a hidden corridor between the Divination Room and the Portrait of Kriemhild the ugly bulky. Mr. Malfoy with his arrogant attiude and the trademark of him being the Hogwarts Sex God tried to seduce our little hero Mr. Potter. What a shame! And I was of course live there (unfortunately not during the "interaction") and interviewed some people about their view of the situation:
Me, Myself&I: Mr. Goyle (who is currently stuffing himself full with various sorts of food..utterly disgusting). Pray tell what do you know about the affair of Mr. Malfoy-the-bad-bad-boy and our little-sweet-golden-shining-boy?
Mr. Goyle: Ah…Oh..Ah…(the food is coming out of his nose…weird) Do you have another pie for me? Sorry, what should I say again?
Me, Myself&I: Okay, not very informative, now on to another interview.
Mr. Weasely (Ronald), please tell me what you think of the relationship between your best friend, Harry-Famous is my second-Middle-Name-Potter and Drake-born-to-be-Gay-Malfoy?
Mr. Weasely: Yeah, of course. A relationship! Harry doesn't even know that such a word exists and if he would, there is no way in hell that he would try something like a kinship with the Ferret-Boy.
Me, Myself &I: You know the meaning of the world "kinship"?
Mr. Weasley: Of course. What do you want to say by that. I am not dumb, despite popular belief.
(Mrs. Skeeter whispers: Oh, he found out that he could get clever by eating the brains of geniuses. Poor Mudblood…oh..sry…Born-to-be-doomed-as-Muggle-GRANGER)
So now there's the last interview for today:
M&M&I: So, Mrs. Parkinson what do you think about the news you have surely heard of?
PP: crying It's…it's so devastating ...I would have never thought that Draco is gaaaaay..startscryingagain…I am…I aaaam…the ooonly one for him!!! Even if does mean, that I have to become a man. I will do it! You will see it! I am not Pansy Persephone Parkinson for nothing! Ha!!!
M&M&I: Thank you Mrs. PPP! (whispers: OMG, what an ugly name. Rita is much better and more beautiful and loads and loads of other positive things. What a crazy girl, but it's not surprising. The associaton with Malfoy surely leads to permanent brain damage. See 1st interview and last.)
That was the news for today. Hope you are reading my articles next time again. NO, NO, not hope, but you MUST!!! Or I will find something really dirty, dirty about you. muahaha
Greetz,
RS
Award for most enchanting articles
Award for the most extraordinaire clothes
Award for the most pestering person on this world
Award for the 3456 Billion Articles about The-Boy-Who-Was-Snogged-by-the-Gay-Dragon.
Award for multiple services for society consisting of trying to humiliate, pester, harass and threaten various famous people.
Awards distributed by the "Quibbler" – a.k.a. Heap Magazine
Next Time:
The reaction of the boys.
And switch when it's again time for the "Scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" Series, a.k.a. The Potty and Malfy Show. (insert Itchie and Skratchie music…you know simpsons don't u? OMG, where do you live? On mars..haha..my jokes are always soo good and great soundslikeskeetergoat bigfalsesmile ..R/N: she's wearing a denture..falls of chair due to laughing)