Hi everybody! J This is my first fic. I wanted to do this for a long time, but it wasn't until last week when I decided to give this a go. I have to tell that English is not my first language, so if there's some grammatical/orthographical mistake, well then I'm sorry. I tried to write as good as I could. I don't know if the fic is long or not. It's my first fic so I don't have any reference. All reviews will be very welcomed! And thank you for spending your time reading this! I hope you enjoy with my first fic!
Our Time
He watched her from the distance, for a long time. He wasn't aware of how much time he had been there. He could get lost by her, she had the power. He could stay looking at her for hours, without blinking and he couldn't get enough of her. She was like a drug. She was sitting on a bench and the wind was playing with her golden hair. She was gorgeous to his eyes. She was even more beautiful than the last time he'd seen her, if that was possible. Rachel always has been a beautiful person, in all the years he has known her.
He had the feeling that if a stranger saw him there, beside a tree, would think he was a stalker. But he didn't choose to be here today. He saw her while he passed by and couldn't help but stay there and contemplate her.
He thought a lot while he was standing there. He thought about why he left. At the moment is seemed like the best thing to do, but now, while he watched her, he regretted his choice. He never thought who was leaving behind. He loved her, he really did, but at the time he thought that she was using him. Ross had never been a confident person and being with Rachel proved him that. He was jealous and possessive, especially at the end of their relationship.
They were the happiest couple alive for over a year, until his jealousy and possessiveness started. He admits now, he was jealous over her co-worker. He should trust her, but he couldn't think straight at the moment. Now, three years later here he was, standing beside a tree in the middle of Central Park watching her.
He wanted to talk to her, but something inside of him couldn't do that. He'd been there for what seemed like an eternity and he didn't even think of moving from that place. He was so captivated by her that he couldn't think of something else than her. Other thought didn't pass from his mind. But somehow he knew that he couldn't stay there forever. He would have to do something and really fast.
But before he could think of something else, something unexpected happened. She was apparently alone, but somehow someone made his way to her. Suddenly she wasn't alone. She had company.
He kissed her, like he used to kiss her. And it bothered him. He should be the one kissing her like that. It seemed like they've been together for a while. All the time he was out of town he didn't contact with anybody from the gang, he couldn't. He felt like he had disappointed everyone, that's why he lost contact with everybody and only talked to his parents. Neither of them knew where he'd been. One day he disappeared and nobody had the courage to reach for him, so he did the same. If nobody was going to be worried for him, them he shouldn't worry for nobody else.
And three years went like that. He moved to another city and tried to make a new life. He really tried about forgetting of New York, but it was impossible. He couldn't stop thinking about Rachel and how he messed up, how he should try to fight for them. Because she wanted to give him what he wanted, his jealousy made the rest of it.
He watched how Rachel kissed this new guy. He didn't sound familiar, maybe she met him when she went out with Monica and Phoebe. Their Saturday nights were really effective. They would go out and have fun and maybe in one of those nights she met him. He was very handsome, the kind of guy Rachel would fall in love with, the kind of person Rachel liked. He was very different from him, the opposite.
What it bothered him the most is that she was having a good time. She seemed to enjoy being with him, with this new guy. But Ross could already tell the difference. Yes, she was having fun with this new guy, but they used to have it sure was a lot better. He was sure about that. He was sure that she wouldn't be able to love someone as much as she used to love him. Or that's what he wanted to think.
Some minutes went like that. Ross would watch the laughing and he would suffer watching them. It was a price to pay after all he did. So somehow he wanted to be alone with her. It seemed like this was the only chance he would have to be with her alone and it had to be today. He waited and waited, but something told him that today wasn't going to happen. Just when he started thinking about leaving that place, he took a last glance at Rachel and her new boyfriend and he saw him that he was saying goodbye to her. In a matter of seconds she would be alone, again and he was going to make the most of this opportunity.
This new guy was out of sight, so he took the biggest step he could make. He stared walking in the direction where she was sitting. And not even for a second he thought about going back. If he was going to do this, the he had to do it now and there was nothing stopping him.
Her thoughts were filled with David when she felt that someone was in front of her. For a moment she thought that it was David, regretting of leaving her alone in the park and giving her some company. But when she looked up, she couldn't believe her eyes. She hadn't seen him in three years and he was the last person she expected there. What was he doing here? She didn't have answers and she needed them.
"Rachel.."
"What are you doing here?" Her voice came colder than usual. He somehow expected it, after all they hadn't seen each other in a long time.
"How are you?" He wanted to be nice to her, even though he knew that maybe she was still mad at him.
"I've been better. Now you answer me, what are you doing here?" Her voice still sounded cold. She really was mad at him.
"I was taking a walk and I saw you here, and I thought it would be a good chance to talk about what happened?"
"You really want to talk about what happened? You want to know how I felt when you left me? Ross you left me without any reason. Suddenly you disappeared and now what? You want me to forgive what you did? If came for that forget it Ross, you hurt me bad, really bad and there's no way I'm going to forgive you!"
"Rach, I didn't-"
"Don't ever call me Rach again okay? I'm not your Rach anymore. You left me and I had a hard time getting over you. Now I'm happy and you come back? Why? Why did you come back?"
"Look, Rachel, I know that this isn't easy for anyone, do you think it was easy for me to come here and start talking to you?" He wanted to shout to her, but they were in a public place and this wasn't the perfect place to do that.
"I really want to talk about what happened, but I can see that this isn't the best place to do that. You want to have dinner tonight so we can talk?" He thought that this way she would calm down a bit, but he thought wrong.
"You want to have dinner with me? Who do you think you are Ross to invite me to dinner like that? You can't make plans with me like you used to. Three years have passed Ross and not even once you had the guts to make a call or write a simple letter, not even once. How do you think that affected to us? Did you think that it wouldn't hurt us, not to know anything about you? How do you think Monica felt? And me Ross? Do you think it was easy for me Ross? You hurt me really bad. I thought that we loved each other, but clearly I was wrong…"
"You were right Rachel, but I had to leave okay? I loved you with all my heart, I really did and I still do. I love you so much Rachel… that I still can't believe how I could live this three years without you. At first I was miserable without you by my side. You were and you still are really important for me."
"Then why did you leave? Weren't you aware that you left without saying a word?"
"I thought that you wanted to be with him, you know with Mark. You used to spend a lot of time working and I couldn't stand that. So I thought that if you spent that much time at work was because you didn't love me anymore. So why to continue here and without being with you? I couldn't live like that and leaving sounded like the best choice"
"Well, I did love you and a lot. I still don't understand why you would use that I didn't love you as an excuse. Didn't I show you that? I thought my love for you was clear, I thought that I did show you that I loved you" Rachel was tired about explaining everything to him. She thought that he knew all those things.
"But I can see that you have moved on."
"What are you talking about?" Rachel was confused. How could he tell that she moved on?
"Because you already told me that you're happy and I saw you had company earlier." Rachel could tell that what he was telling was hurting him, but what could she do? She had all the right to be happy and if she couldn't be happy with him, then she would have to be happy with another one.
"Oh, that… Yes, his name is David and he's perfect with me. Look Ross, I know that all this information on you right now is really painful, but this is my life. You were in my life for a time, but you left and disappeared from my life and now David is my life. Please it would mean a lot to me if you could accept that."
"Rachel, there's nothing more than I want for you but to be happy and if this new guy makes you happy, then I'll have to learn to live with that. It's just that… I thought it was going to be easier."
"Ross, things with us were never easy."
"I know and I'm sorry about that. Now I realize that I hurt you and I don't know what to do. I feel like an idiot." He said while looking down.
"Ross you're not an idiot" Ross realized that Rachel's voice softened a lot during their conversation and he was glad they for once they were able to talk, without shouting.
He watched her when they stopped talking, she clearly didn't know what else to say. And while he watched her he realized that he would love her forever. She had that power. He had been in love for a long time now and even though they weren't together anymore, maybe something could happen between her and David and maybe then Ross could have a chance.
She was so near he could smell her scent. He remembered that scent. She bought it in one of their shopping afternoons they had. They used to have a lot of fun while they were shopping and Ross couldn't feel any better. He got to spend time with the woman he loved and, well, he loved watching her while she tried lots of clothes. So in one of their shopping trip, they entered to a fragrance store and she bought it. The fragrance fit her, it was delicate and really sensual. In the three years he had been disappeared he would enter to different fragrance stores and see if the fragrance was there. That way he would remember her scent.
Suddenly he got the urge to kiss her. He knew it wasn't the best thing to do, but he couldn't help but feel that way. Instead of that, because it would be inappropriate, she had a boyfriend after all, he chose to touch her. So when she looked at him, he smiled and took her hand in his.
The moment he took her hand, he felt something on her hand. She realized quickly what he felt and she felt guilty. Maybe she didn't have to feel that way, but she knew that one he took his hand off to look at her hand, his hopes, I he had any, would disappear for good.
So sensing for what was to come, he looked at her hand and that's when he saw the ring. She had an engagement ring on her finger. And now what? He didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry. Rachel could tell that he wanted her to explain everything, but did she want to hurt him anymore? She knew that this talk hurt him really bad and she didn't want him suffering anymore.
"David proposed to me a few months ago. We're getting married in four months." She could tell that he didn't want to hear those things, but she had to tell him. "Look Ross, I know that this isn't what you expected. But what did you think? That I would forgive you that easily? I want you to know that David makes me really happy and he's the love of my life. You left me. You were supposed to be love of my life, but you gave up and you didn't fight for me. If you weren't able to fight for me, then I wasn't going to fight for you either, Ross. That's how it works."
"There's nothing more than I want for you but be happy Rachel and please believe me when I say that. I lost my chance with you and I will accept it." Ross couldn't believe that he was saying those words. This time he'd lost her and forever. She was getting married and this was the end for all his hopes. He now felt like a big idiot, he was the biggest idiot in the world. He would never forgive himself about letting her go. That was the biggest mistake of his life and now was paying it. He deserved it.
"Ross I have to go now, but it would mean a lot to Monica if you called her. She missed you like crazy and wouldn't believe if she heard that you're here. Please talk to her and also to the others too, we all missed you" She gave him a small smile.
"I'll try to call her, but right now I'm very busy with work. I'll see if I can contact with her at the end of the week." He answered giving her another small smile.
"She'll be very happy."
She stood up from the bench and didn't know what to do. Should she hug him? Give him a kiss on the cheek? Nothing seemed right. They simply shook their hands awkwardly.
"Bye" She whispered to him. He doubted if she said it.
"See ya'." It was all he said while he watched her leaving…
The End! J
A/N: Ross didn't sleep with Chloe in their anniversary. They had one, but didn't go the way they thought. From that moment is when the problems between them started.