Disclaimer: I don't own Blue's Clues or GW. Life sucks.
The G-boys vs. Blue's Clues
Duo: Heero, right behind you, three Leos!
Heero: *blink* Suddenly…ZAP!!!
All five Gundams disappear and the five pilots are left outside a yellow house with a red roof and a blue front door.
Quatre: Where are we?
Trowa: …
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!!
Duo: Put a sock in it, Wu-man. It's pretty obvious that we aren't on the battlefield anymore.
Quatre: *points* Look! It's a puppy!
Man: *looks out window of house* Hey, have you seen my puppy, Blue?
Demented little kids' voices: Over there, Steve!
Wufei: *raises eyebrow* Who said that?
Duo: *claps hand to forehead* Now I remember this place! It's Blue's Clues, you know the little kids' T.V. show. COOL!!!
Wufei: It is not cool, Maxwell!
Trowa: O_\\\ Blue's Clues?
Man: *opening door* Hey, why don't you come in, new friends, and meet Blue. I'm Steve!
Demented kids' voices: Hi, Steve!
Duo: Cool! Voices that come out of nowhere! I can just see Zechs' face if we installed these in the Tallgeese! *cracks up with laughter* "Hi Zechs!" *mimics voices*
Steve: What are your names? Do you want to play Blue's Clues?
Heero: What?
A salt shaker, a pepper shaker and a little shaker of paprika appear out of nowhere.
Heero: *takes aim and fires at shakers, bullets whiz by unnoticed*
Salt: 'Ello, Monsieur Heero! 'Ello, Monsieur Duo! 'Ello Monsieur Trowa! 'Ello Monsieur Quatre! Ello Monsieur Wufei! I am salt, zis is ma' wife, Pepper and zis is our little one, Paprika!
Quatre: How did you know our names? *look of amazed wonder on face*
Duo: You are so clueless, Q-man…
Steve: Easy. Your nametags!
Duo: Hey, only kindergarteners have nametags!
Wufei: This is a kindergarten show, Maxwell *stares down at own nametag distastefully*
Trowa: …
Blue: *appears out of nowhere and begins licking each of the pilots*Heero: *draws out gun and shoots Blue*
Blue: *whimpering with pain and leaving a trail of blood on pink carpet*
Steve: What's wrong, Blue? Hey, I know, we can play Blue's Clue's to find out! We are gonna play Blue's clues, we are gonna play Blue's clues, we are gonna play Blue's Clues…
Trowa: You shot the wrong one, Heero
Blue: *staggering around, goes out of sight*
Steve: Did you see where Blue went?
Quatre: follow the blood
Duo: follow the blood
Heero: Hn.
Trowa: *points at blood*
Wufei: follow the blood, you baka!
Demented voices: Over there, Steve!
Steve: Hey, I know, we can follow the red paint! And then we can find out our first clue so we can find out what's wrong with blue!
Duo: Duh.
Steve: But first we need our Handy Dandy, Super Duper…NOTEBOOK!!! *breaks into song about finding Blue's Clues*
Quatre: *starts to sing along*…Blue's Clue's, Blue's Clues! We gotta find another paw print, that's the third clue, put it in out notebook you know what to do, Blue's Clues, Blue's Clues!
Steve: *finishes song and starts walking ridiculously slow into kitchen*
Duo: *follows, and kicks Salt, Pepper and Paprika out of the way*
Quatre: *grabs Trowa's sleeve and yells* LOOK!!! They have tea!
Trowa: Quatre… *looks at Quatre*
Quatre: Trowa… *looks at Trowa*
Duo: You guys are disgusting! Get a room!
Steve: They can have my room! It's good to share with friends!
Wufei: *takes out sword* like I can share this sword with your neck!
Steve No, no, new friend Wufei, we shouldn't play with knives! *grabs sword and sticks in knife block in kitchen*
Heero: *shooting everything in sight* must…kill…all evil…little kids…
Demented voices: *giggle* A clue, a clue!
Steve: A clue! Where?
Voices: OVER THERE!
Clue: *floating in a pool of blood*
Steve: It's our first clue. So now we need our handy dandy, super duper…NOTEBOOK!!! *starts doodling on a page while jabbering on about how he's drawing the squiggly lines forming the blood* Now, what could this mean…
Quatre: *raises hand* Oh, maybe Blue's bleeding!!!
Steve: Oh well, we'll just have to find the next clue
Wufei: This is stupid! We should be fighting, not playing around with a stupid guy and his dog!!! INJUSTICE!!!
Heero: *still shooting at the air* must…destroy…voices…
Steve: Let's go find another clue! *walks ridiculously slow toward living room*
Duo: YAY!!! Let's play a game!!!
Heero: This sucks. *raises gun, shoots Steve, then shoots Blue*
Steve: *being dead*
Blue: *few feet away, being dead*
Quatre: Blue! Steve! *rushes toward corpses*
Trowa: Sorry Quatre, I think they're dead.
Quatre: *gasp* but then what about the show?
Duo: Hey, we could finish it ourselves! I know how it goes! *goes over to dead Steve and takes notebook and crayon.*
Wufei: God save us…
Heero:…
Trowa: O_\\
Quatre: Oh, that would make me feel so much better! It's the least we can do!
Duo: Yeah, but hang on, we can't play without Blue. Hey, I know, Wufei can be Blue!
Wufei: No way am I going to be some stupid little dog that runs around touching things so some idiot can play a game!
Duo: *looking at Wufei strangely* Ummm, I think it's too late, Wu-man...
Wufei: *looking down at himself and finding that he is a little blue remarkably fake looking dog* KISAMA! What have you done?
Duo: *grinning* I bet it's because I have the notebook! I can choose who everyone is, because I am Steve and I rule the show! *Smiling at Heero* I wonder who Heero could be...Oh, I know, Blue's friend...Mailbox!
Heero: *transforms into remarkably fake looking mailbox* OMAE O KOROSU!!!
Duo: *laughing* ha, ha, you can't hurt me because you're just a stupid box!!! *turns to Trowa* Now, who are you going to be...
Demented voices: He can help you find the clues, Steve!
Duo: *grinning wickedly* He can be the demented voices with Quatre!
Trowa and Quatre: *vanish and reappear in front of TV set with Blue/Wufei's Clues on*
Trowa: I can't move. We're stuck here so we have to help him. Otherwise we may never get out of this.
Quatre: *watches fascinated* Shhh! Blue's Clue's is on!
Duo: Okay, so because the real Blue's dead, we'll just restart the game!
Instantly the shot goes to outside, and Duo pokes his head out the window.
Duo/Steve: Hi! Have you seen my puppy, Blue! *whispers* Wufei, you have to run outside!
Wufei/Blue: NO!!!
Duo/Steve: come on, or else we'll never get out of here!
Wufei/Blue: *grumbles* Fine. *runs around outside*
Duo/Steve: Quatre, Trowa, now you have to say, "There she is!"
Wufei/Blue: I'm a she?!!!
Duo/Steve: Yeah! Now, come on you guys, let's get those voices in here!
Quatre and Trowa: *monotone* There she is.
Duo/Steve: Good. Now, Wufei, you come inside and lick my face and then we'll get started—
Wufei/Blue: What! I am not licking Maxwell's face!
Duo/Steve: Then I guess we're never getting out of here, are we?
Wufei/Blue: *licking Duo's face* I really want to do something evil to you right now!
Duo/Steve: What's that, Blue? You want to do something evil? Well, what do you want to do? Oh, wait, I know, why don't we play Blue's clues and find out! *whispers* Wu-man, that's the part where you put a paw print on the screen!
Wufei/Blue: *paw print*
Duo/Steve: Well, now we need our Handy Dandy, Super Duper...
Trowa and Quatre: …notebook…
Duo/Steve: *pulls out notebook that is magically cleared of any drawings from the previous episode, and breaks into song about finding Blue's clues, finishes song* Hey, did you see where Blue went?
Trowa and Quatre: Over there!
Duo/Steve: Thanks! *walks ridiculously slow toward kitchen*
Trowa and Quatre: A clue, a clue!
Duo/Steve: Where?
Trowa and Quatre: Behind you!
Duo/Steve: *turns around and stares in shock at the "clue" which is a very large gym bag*
Wufei/Blue: *pops up out of nowhere* Hey, I only touched that thing!
Duo/Steve: *ignoring Wufei* Now we put it into our handy dandy, super duper...
Trowa and Quatre: *thinking* this is boring, lets make it more entertaining
Trowa and Quatre: Duh, Steve! You're stupid!
Duo/Steve: *ignoring Trowa and Quatre* Now we do a squiggly line here, and a big fat circle here and a triangle here and we have a gym bag! *turns notebook toward audience to show off a page of scribbling* I wonder what...
Wufei/Blue: Hurry up already! We don't have all day!
Duo/Steve: Okay, we'll just have to look for more Blue's Clues! *makes stupid hand motions when he say's "Blue's Clues"*
Wufei/Blue: *disappears*
Duo/Steve: Did you see where Blue went? *sees Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper* Hi Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper! Where's Paprika?
Mr. Salt: She is taking a nap, Monsieur Steve!
Duo/Steve: Oh. What are you two doing?
Trowa and Quatre: Screwing, Steve!
Mrs. Pepper: Yes, we love screwing. It provides so much entertainment! Today we are screwing two pieces of wood together!
Duo/Steve: *thinks of the possibilities and snickers* Really. Do you need any help?
Mr. Salt: Yes. We need to find out which two pieces are the same. Can you help us?
Duo/Steve: Sure, I love screwing!
Mr. Salt: *lays out four pieces off wood, two are squares, one is a circle and the other is a heart.* Which two are the same?
Duo/Steve: Gee, I don't know. *addresses audience* Can you help us?
Trowa and Quatre: Those two! *two squares wiggle*
Duo/Steve: I don't know, I think I'd have to say the heart and the circle are the most alike.
Mr. Salt: brilliant! Thank you, Steve!
Duo/Steve: You're welcome! *starts walking ridiculously slow toward living room, whispers to Wufei* come on, I need another clue!
Wufei: *grumbling* okay, okay. *touches piece of rope on the floor*
Duo/Steve: *trips over rope*
Trowa and Quatre: Watch where you're going, you poop head! You stepped on the freaking clue!
Duo/Steve: Glue? I stepped in glue? Aw, man!
Trowa and Quatre: No, you baka, a CLUE!
Duo/Steve: A clue? *getting excited* Where?
Trowa and Quatre: Right there, you blind asshole!
Duo/Steve: There it is! Now we need our handy dandy, super duper…NOTEBOOK!!! *takes out notebook babbling happily about the squiggly lines he's using for the rope* Okay, done!
Quatre and Trowa: *demented deep voices* Mail time, mail time, mail time, MAAAAAAIIILLLLLL TIIIIIIMEEEEE!!!!!
Duo/Steve: The mail's here! *starts doing retarded little dance* Here's the mail it never fails, it makes me want to wag my tail, when it comes I want to wail MAIL!!!
Wufei/Blue: *monotone* Woof…woof…
Duo/Steve: *staring at window* Heero… *looking annoyed*
Heero/Mailbox: *not there*
Duo/Steve: Heero!
Heero/Mailbox: *not there*
Duo/Steve: *gets a good idea* Oh no, OZ troops are attacking!
Heero/Mailbox: Where! *rushes in*
Duo/Steve: Hahaha! Invincible Heero Yuy, falling for the oldest trick in the book!
Heero/Mailbox: *looking confused* What book?
Duo/Steve: *ignoring Heero/Mailbox and chattering away happily about letter* Look! *pulls out envelope* We just got a letter. *starts doing demented dance moves* We just got a letter, we just got a letter, we just got a letter, I wonder who it's from? *opens letter*
Letter: Hi Steve! *Trowa and Quatre inside*
Trowa and Quatre/Letter: We just wrote to tell you…YOU SUCK STEVE! MWAHAHA!
Duo/Steve: Okey dokey then! *sweatdrop and closes letter*
Heero/Mailbox: Duo…*warningly*
Duo/Steve: *shoving Heero/Mailbox out the window* Alrighty then! *notices Wufei/Blue is gone* Hey did, you see where Blue went?
Trowa and Quatre: *throwing popcorn* You bastard! You lost Blue!
Duo/Steve: *seeing Blue in front of picture* Jump into the picture, Blue!
Wufei/Blue: No!
Duo/Steve: Please?
Wufei/Blue: No!
Duo/Steve: Okay, I guess we'll never get out of here!
Wufei/Blue: *jumping into picture*
Duo/Steve: Blue skidoo, we can too! *jumps into picture*
Wufei/Blue: *being in picture*
Duo/Steve: *looking around* It's a kitchen!
Little retarded mice: *running up to Duo/Steve* Steve, can you help us—
Wufei/Blue: *eating mice* We are *not* helping anyone, Maxwell. Let's just get out of here.
Duo/Steve: Okay…
Trowa and Quatre: A clue, a clue, you idiot!
Duo/Steve: What, I know that's Blue *points at Wufei/Blue*
Trowa and Quatre: A CLUE YOU DORK!!!
Duo/Steve: *gay laugh* Wow, it's a…*stares at clue which is on a meat cleaver* KNIFE!!!
Wufei/Blue: Finally…out of here…*jumps out of picture*
Duo/Steve: *babbling on about drawing the knife* …and this is a little drop of blood on the edge *grins maniacally*…OKAY DONE!!! *closes book* Hey, we have all three clues! It's time for our…
Trowa and Quatre: …
Duo/Steve: *jumps out of picture* Okay! *sits down in chair* Let's THINK! *opens book* We have…a gym bag…a rope and…a knife…hmm…so what evil thing could Blue want to do with a knife, a duffel bag and a rope?
Trowa and Quatre: Cut your limbs off, tie you together and shove you in the bag!
Duo/Steve: Is that right Blue?
Wufei/Blue: *monotone*…arf…arf…sounds good to me…
Duo/Steve: Alright! *starts doing retarded little dance moves* we just figured out Blue's clues, we just figured out Blue's clues, we just figured out Blue's clues because we're really smart! Yeah!
Trowa and Quatre: You suck Steve!
Wufei/Blue: Let's get started! *begins chasing after Duo/Steve with knife*
Duo/Steve: *running* well, thanks for coming over! Now it's time for so long!
Wufei/Blue: Die!
Trowa and Quatre: You NERD, Steve!
Duo/Steve: *oblivious to death threats* But we'll sing just one more song!
Wufei/Blue: Omae o Korosu!
Heero/Mailbox: *now joining in chase* That's MY line!
Duo/Steve: Thanks for doing your part, you sure are smart, you know with me and you, and my dog Blue we can do anything that we wanna do! Bye!
Wufei: Kisama!
Duo/Steve: We can do anything that we wanna do!
Heero/Mailbox: Omae o Korosu!
Trowa and Quatre: We can do anything! YOU SUCK STEVE!!! *start making out*
Wufei/Blue: *massive nosebleed*
Heero/Mailbox: *reaches end of stretchy thingy*
Duo/Steve: *laughing insanely*
ZAP!!!
Duo: *running scythe through Leo* We can do anything that we wanna do!
Blindy: Okay, my first attempt at humor, PUH-LEASE don't skewer me!
MUZULA: Excuse me, it was MY attempt at humor, NOT yours!
Blindy: Okay then. Skewer her!!!