Moonshine: The Days After
Starsky awoke to the sound of the alarm clock going off; he reached over blindly slapping at it till he hit his mark. He lay back against the pillows moaning and rubbing his temples, trying to ease the throbbing pain. Starsky knew he had better get a move on or he'd be late picking Hutch up, so he peeled back the covers and slipped out of bed, padding his way into the bathroom.
One glance in the mirror told him he looked about as bad as he felt. "Well dummy, it's your own fault for feeling like this", he thought. He finished brushing his teeth and turned on the water in the shower. As he pulled his boxer shorts down, Starsky winced in pain, "Ow," he said as he rubbed his butt cheek, "what is that? Must have sleep on it wrong."
He stepped into the shower and let the hot water flow over him, starting to feel more alive. But, duty called and he had to get out and get dressed. "Oh." Starsky thought, 'how he wished he had the day off."
Starsky dressed and went to the fridge, grabbed a piece of left over pizza and headed towards the door, looking around to make sure he had everything before walking out. Rushing to get to Hutch's place, he kept trying to remember the day before. But, he could remember nothing, nothing but walking into that hillbilly bar and sitting down, all was lost to him after that.
Hutch was waiting for him outside when he pulled up; he climbed in munching a piece of toast.
"Well, how you feeling today, sunshine?" Hutch chuckled.
"Very funny Hutch you know exactly how I feel. Why'd you let me drink all that moonshine yesterday? And by the way did I fall or back into something? My backside feels like one big bruise."
Hutch replied with a little giggle, "you fell off the bar stool, I had to pick you up off the floor."
"Well, that must be what's making my ass hurt then. " Starsky said grumpily.
"Yep must be." Hutch said.
The day felt too long but Starsky was grateful for it being slow and uneventful, just a call on a shoplifter and another on two drunken friends fighting. He was glad the day was finally over so he could go home and have some dinner, a little TV and off to bed early.
Starsky dropped Hutch off and told him he'd see him tomorrow. "You're turn to drive blondie and don't be late."
"When have I ever been late picking you up? "Hutch asked slamming the car door.
"Hey", Starsky yelled, "careful with my door!" Hutch just smiled and walked off waving.
The next day Starsky woke early feeling rested and brand new. He went about making coffee and picking up the newspaper off the door step. Deciding he would take his shower first, he stripped down and got into the shower, running the soapy washcloth all over himself. Washing his backside he again felt the pain on his butt, trying to turn around enough to see what was back there, but to no avail.
He got out of the shower and stood in the mirror twisting this way and that way but the mirror was up too high to see anything. Starsky walked into the kitchen just as Hutch came in whistling in his usual good morning mood.
"Help yourself to coffee," Starsky told him, "I'll be out in a minute." And then he grabbed the kitchen chair and went back into the bathroom. A few minutes passed and Starsky didn't emerge, Hutch got curious and went in to check on him. And there, standing on the chair naked with his butt in the air pointed towards the mirror, stood Starsky trying to look behind him.
"What in the world are you trying to do Starsk?" Hutch asked.
"I'm looking to see what is hurting me so bad Hutch. I want to see how bad the bruising is from that fall off the stool the other day. But, I can't see all the way back there. Would you look for me please partner?"
"Starsky, I have no intention of putting my face that close to your butt!" Hutch told him with the look of disgust on his face.
"Come on Hutch, please? It could be bad; you don't want me in pain do ya?" Starsky pleaded.
"Ok, I'll look. But, tell me first, have you been eating any burritos recently?" Hutch said with a laugh.
"Oh, come on buddy, just look already would ya?" Starsky asked.
"Ok, turn around and let me see." Hutch got as close as he wanted to be and took a look, suddenly bursting out in laughter.
"What, what is it? What's so damned funny Hutch?" Starsky asked, turning to try and look once more.
Hutch managed to stop laughing and said, "When did you get a tattoo?"
"A tattoo?" Starsky asked. "I don't have a tattoo! Stop kidding around and tell me what it really is!"
"I'm not kidding you, it really is a tattoo! But, I'm confused - how did you get a tattoo? I put you to bed and you were out like a light, so I went home. "Hutch asked Starsky.
"Hutch, I can't remember anything about that night. Well, what kind of tattoo is it anyway?" Starsky whined. "Oh God, please don't tell me it's a heart, or worse yet, a skull with crossbones. Not that please."
Hutch started to giggle and told Starsky it was not either of those things.
"Then what is it, what so funny about it?" Starsky asked irritation to his voice.
"It says, 'if you can read this, then you are too close.'" Hutch couldn't contain his laughter anymore and walked out of the bathroom, looking back he told Starsky: "You better get a move on or Dobey's going to make your other butt cheek sore."
Starsky still trying to see in the mirror finally gave up and stepped down off the chair and started to dress. He walked out to the kitchen where Hutch was drinking coffee and wiping his eyes from all the laughing. He felt bad for Starsky but couldn't help from giggling. After all, Starsky is always getting himself into these messes all the time.
"Well partner you ready to go?" Hutch asked him.
Yeah, yeah I'm ready. Hutch promise me two things will ya? One do not tell anyone about this, ok? And two, never, ever let me drink moonshine again."
Hutch, wrapping his arm around Starsky's shoulder and walking him towards the door said, "Whatever you want partner, I promise."
The End