Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in this fanfic, simply the storyline.
Amnesia?!
"All right, he's awake now," the doctor said to the waiting Genin. "You can go in."
He turned and led the trio into the hospital room. On the bed lay a silver-haired man with a mask covering most of his face. He blinked his mismatched eyes at the children before him.
After a moment of silence, he said rather groggily "Who are these kids?"
"Sensei! What are you talking about?!" the boy with blonde hair demanded.
"I'm afraid he has amnesia. He suffered a rather harsh blow the head. His memory will return eventually, just don't force him into it too soon." the doctor explained. He turned and walked out the door, leaving the four ninja alone together.
"Did you call me "sensei"?" Kakashi said quietly.
"Yes! I'm Naruto Uzumaki! The next Hokage! Believe it!" Naruto shouted.
"Naruto! His head has to be hurting after that fight! Stop shouting!" the pink haired kunoichi snapped before saying a lot more quietly. "I'm Sakura Haruno, Kakashi-sensei."
"Sasuke Uchiha." The final in the three answered.
An explosion suddenly occurred in the hospital room. "AND I'M KONOHA'S NOBLE BLUE BEAST, MIGHT GUY!!" the man in the green jumpsuit shouted from his perch atop a red and yellow tortoise. He jumped over to Kakashi's bedside with a flourish and did the 'nice guy' pose.
"AND I AM THE HANDSOME BLUE BEAST OF KONOHA, ROCK LEE!!" the mini version of Guy shouted as he landed beside his sensei.
Kakashi yelped at the top of his lungs and fell of the bed (the opposite side to Konoha's Blue Beast duo, lucky him). After a second, his black and red eyes appeared over the rim of the bed, looking utterly terrified. "I'm seeing double…" he whispered in terror.
"Kakashi, my eternal rival! Why are you on the floor?! You should be up! Active! Enjoying your youth!" Guy demanded.
"He has amnesia." Sasuke said in a monotone.
Guy gaped at the Uchiha prodigy in horror. "Surely not! Kakashi, come with me! I must help you remember your youth!"
"NO!!" Kakashi wailed and crawled under the bed, out of arms reach of Guy.
"SAKURA!! My love!" Lee yelled and fell on one knee. "Go out with me!"
"No!" Sakura screamed and flung herself out of the room.
Lee drooped his head sadly; his beloved had refused him, yet again! He looked up again with steely determination in his eyes. "I will show her I am worthy!" he hollered before charging out of the room to tail his love.
"Oh, no you don't, Bushy-Brows!" Naruto bellowed and chased after the green jumpsuit and orange legwarmer clad shinobi. Sasuke sighed and walked after them, tucking his hands into his pockets and looking extremely bored.
By now, Kakashi had crawled out from under the bed and was laying down on it again. He looked at Guy hesitantly. "Listen… could you tell me what happened in my life so far? I can't remember a single thing."
"Why, of course, Kakashi! What would you like to know?" Guy queried as he preformed the 'nice guy' pose with gleaming teeth.
"Who's the mother?" Kakashi said bluntly.
Guy looked utterly clueless. "What on Earth can you mean, my rival?"
"Kakashi sighed. "I'm a father of three. Who's their mother?"
An evil idea for a joke formed in Guy's bowl-cut haired head. "Oh no, Kakashi, you're a little confused. The girl and the blonde boy are simply your students."
"So the one with dark hair…? But he doesn't look anything like me! None of them do as a matter of fact." Kakashi said in distress.
"I understand where you are coming from. He gets his looks from…his mothers' side of the family! And he has the Sharingan, like you! He can turn his on and off, whereas yours is on constantly." Guy countered calmly. 'Heh heh… this shall be amusing!'
Kakashi turned his gaze towards the door. "My son…" he said quietly, more to himself than to Guy. "I'm guessing his mother is from the Uchiha clan, correct?"
"Yes."
"Then why isn't she here?" the silver-haired jonin looked a little hurt, like he felt abandoned.
"She's dead, Kakashi. The entire Uchiha clan was wiped out by… a rogue ninja. Years ago."
Kakashi gaped at Guy. "Is that why… the boy… my boy… is so cold?"
Guy nodded sadly. "Yes, I'm afraid so." Another idea came to his head. "You know Kakashi… maybe you should spend some quality time with your boy… start over with him. Try to make him be a little more happy and youthful? He was affected greatly by what happened to the clan."
Kakashi's eyes shone with determination. "Yes. You're right. I'll start right now." without further ado; he leaped from the bed and walked to the door, but was stopped by a hand on his arm.
Guy thanked God that his acting skills were working. "By the way… you and Mokoto (that's Sasuke's mother) were never married. That's why Sasuke has his mothers' surname. And she married a man named Fugaku Uchiha. Sasuke grew up around him more than you."
Kakashi snapped his head around to look at Guy. "What?! Just because I never married his mother, my son grew up with another man acting like his father?!"
Guy nodded dramatically. "That's the way it is Kakashi. Oh, and Sasuke doesn't live with you either. He lives in a apartment of the main house of the Uchiha complex."
"THAT'S IT!!"
"What's it?" a monotonous voice asked.
The two Jonins looked at the form of Sasuke Uchiha leaning on the doorframe with his arms folded over his chest, watching them with an impassive face, though there was a look of curiosity in his dark eyes.
Kakashi blinked. Then seized Sasuke and wrapped his arms around his torso in a bear hug.
"Ah! What the hell?! Let go of me!" Sasuke yelled. Kakashi loosened his grip slightly to look into Sasuke's eyes. "Why do you want me to stop hugging you?"
Sasuke stared. "Why do you want to hug me?! I'm not a touchy-feely person!"
Kakashi let go. "Fair enough. But why don't you live with me if your mother's dead?! And why didn't you tell me?!"
Sasuke froze. So did Kakashi. Sasuke looked so angry and hurt and confused. What had he done wrong?
Sasuke finally spoke in a dead, flat voice. "Don't mention that again. Ever. Why the hell would I live with you? You're just my sensei! And why didn't I tell you what?"
Kakashi felt angry. "You just did it then as well! Why didn't you tell me you're my son?! That's why you should live with me!"
Sasuke's jaw dropped. "Son?! I'm NOT you're son!"
Guy decided now would be the best time to intervene, before Sasuke ruined his joke. "You see, Kakashi? He considers Fugaku Uchiha his father."
"FUGAKU UCHIHA WAS MY FATHER!!" Sasuke bellowed.
Kakashi looked like he was about to cry. "No, no! I don't care if I wasn't there when you were growing up! You're mine and that's that."
He bear-hugged Sasuke yet again, squeezing him tightly. This time, Sasuke hesitantly squeezed back. He knew Kakashi wasn't his father. He couldn't be. …Could he? But at the moment, he didn't care. He hadn't been held like this before… by anyone. It was nice.
A/N: I thought of this a while ago for no particular reason. I thought it would make a good crackfic. It was only meant to be a oneshot, but it's too long. I couldn't fit it all in. Anyway, I'll update as soon as I can. How was it? Good/Bad?
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