"Who's that?" Carlisle asked inquisitively.
"Jaaaasper." Alice stretched the "a" in his name to try and make her self seem innocent.
"Ummm, where did you find him?"
"A dumpster in Texas."
Carlisle was confused at his new daughter's sense of humor.
"Let me get this straight. You found him in a dumpster and decided to bring him home?"
"Uh-hu. Can I keep him...pleeese?!?"
He sighed. She was acting like a little kid, but he couldn't just say no.
Anyway, how dangerous could a dumpster-living vampire be---- Carlisle cut off his own thought. The answer was very dangerous.
"Pleeeeeese." Came the sound of Alice's pleading.
"Fine." He said with an exasperated sigh.
"YEEE-HAW!" Jasper had spoken for the first time. His cry of happiness startled Carlisle.
"What is that terrible smell?" Esme asked from her spot in the kitchen.
"Smells like hot wings and fried chicken." Emmett replied, sniffing the air.
"You're both wrong. It's a dumpster-vamp." He saw his wife's puzzled expression.
"Huh? What the heck is a dumpster- vamp?!?" Emmett yelled.
"Alice's new friend. She claims to have found him during her trip to Texas and in a dumpster, if I may add!" He sat down right next to his wife and pulled her onto his lap.
"She has a dirty, stinky "thing" in my nice clean house?!?" Esme was livid.
"Yeah, I think they're still in the living room."
"YOU BETTER KEEP IT OFF OF MY COUCH!!!!!!!!!" Her voiced resonated. A thump was heard from the living room.
"I'll make him a doghouse." Rosalie said coming into the kitchen.
"AND HOUSEBREAK IT FIRST!!"
Carlisle went back into the kitchen to see Jasper glancing around.
"Who was thayt, Gawd?" He asked scared out of his wits.
"In a way, yes. Welcome to our very dysfunctional, and now rather odd, family."