Conquest of your love's art.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Square Enix and no profit work.
First I thank Carie Valentine who patiently corrected my english faults.
Context of the fic: After the ending of FF 12 and for a challenge based on the idea of the crazy but awesome Sharperimage!
"Create a silly/comedic story, consisting of your favorite character.
requirements:
Said person must wear Chocobo underwear, doesn't matter what type...
Must be alone in his/her room, 'unwinding', because of a well deserved rest.
and it must include, a song of some sort, be it popular here, there, or made up--(as in, the character made it up on the spot for some reason or another.)
Finally,
Right when they're really into whatever they're doing; someone walks in on them."
It disheartens me... It really disheartens me to do that but I have no choice...
I look at me at one the mirrors in the hall and take a long breath...
I'm sure that Balthier suggested it to the girls...!
And of course, that sex maniac cunning pirate escaped! Bastard!
Fran and Penelo begged me to do it...That it will be my last chance to win her heart...
I can still retract...I didn't promise anything... But if they are right? I will regret not doing it all my life...
Raahhh!! It's settled. I shall do it, even if I will look foolish!
I make for my private quarters in the Archadian Palace and enter into my chamber room.
I take off my helmet and I pull out a little paper on which are written these lovely words:
In order to help you, I add " under Fran's arc's duress," I put in your closet some fashionable things, sewed by Fran and Penelo, that a man with good taste must have and which are indispensable to make beat your dulcinee's heart...
And read and sing the lyrics of this famous romantic love song known in all Ivalice.
Enjoy it and I look forward your gratitude at my return!
Good luck!
Balthier.
I crack my fists. I show you my gratitude, don't worry...
How did he manage to enter in the House Solidor?
Then, I approach my closet and open it... A new black suit, a sort of bow tie, worn by archadians nobles... I take the suit and I notice the many buttons placed everywhere, so pratical, I think ironicly.
But I open my eyes wide when I point out a yellow... slip? Oh, no... when I take and examinate it, I am about to push a yell: it is a g-string made with Chocobo feathers!!
No! No!! It can't be possible! I can't do it! She will see my rump!!
I sit down on my bed and pensively, I think: It will be ridiculous! The suit is good but this underwear is... Is it so fashionable? I can't trust Bathier; he is able to put me in a ridiculous position! But girls sewed the g-string and I don't think they want to laugh at me, right?
I take a long breath and I decide to trust the girls... I take off my judge's armor, my shirt, my beige short and my underpants. I slip into the string and I am surprised that it's so soft and warm. But I detest the sensation of the string: I can't stand to not scratch my rump, it's not comfortable at all! I try to walk with it but I have a awkward gait. I need more practice...
Oh, My love, you can't imagine the sacrifice I do only for you...
Once my gait becomes normal, I slip into the suit and put on the bow tie...I look at me at the mirror and consider that I am good looking in with, if we forget my horrible underwear, of course...
The buttons...Their use, I can guess it...
I slowly remove the bow tie and top of the shirt and stares at me at the mirror.
No, it's not good! You will scare her if you look gloomy... Try to smile, godamnit!
Easier said than done... I feel myself so...ill-at-ease...Come on, do it for her! Imagine she is in front of you...
I start to remove my clothes again with a smirk and suave manner, blushing.
My suit is quickly on the floor and I wear only my damned g-string.
It's so pratical!! I will make it quickly!
I move near my desk and I find the papers on which the lyrics of the most known love song of Ivalice are written. At least, I will sing a romantic song...
Damned my naivety!
I know this song and everyone knows this song in Ivalice but..I can't sing it in front of her...during my demonstration...
I sit down, wearing only with my inseparable string, and think about it:
It's just lyrics, the song is not the most important, right? At least, You can try...
I put again my suit, the bow tie and start again to remove them languourously but I blush when I start singing with my deep and rough voice the song of a young star of Ivalice (Title: Sexy back) :
Dirty babe
You see the shackles
Baby I'm your slave
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave
It's just that no one makes me feel this way
Come here girl
Go ahead, be gone with it
Come to the back...
Ohhhh! It's a torture for me... My face is red like a tomato...
Say that in front of her! It will be disrespectful! It's disgraceful conduct! I must stop it now!
But the face of my love appears to me and I watch her with despair as she is kissed by another man then looks to me sadly. I can't stand it!
That nightmare will be true if anything is done. Indeed, my heart broke when I learned the worst news of my life: Her Majesty Ashe will marry Al Cid Margrace next month!
I was stuck with Larsa in Archadia and the news hurted me so much that I was tear-filled under my hemlet.
My friends know my feelings for Ashe and decided to help me but that idiot pirate had the good idea to make me the hightlight of the bridal shower of my lovely Queen.. He thinks that if I surprise and seduce her she will fall, burning with the fire of desire, into my arms and forget her political marriage.
So, really motivated, I go back to practice and undress one more time. This time, all is perfect: Singing with a louder, deeper, and rougher voice, I slowly pull of the suit, the bow tie and twirl them before throwing them, I stroke my chest with a alluring smile, I move very slowly my body. I pretend to slide my string and my finger into my golden blond hair, which has grown a bit , singing louder...
When I finally slide my string only for fun, the door opens sudenly and I see Larsa and ...I can't say it...My...Queen standing at the doorway, wide-eyed...
My Lord Larsa mumbles tactfully: "A...Apologies...We didn't know...that you were here..." and he leaves us quickly.
I, paralysed as a statue, the string falled negliged on my knees, blushing being an euphemism.
Ashe yells and turns around: "CAPTAIN, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!"
She becomes hysterical: "GET DRESSSSS!! IMMEDIATELY!!"
I mumble, finally moving: "Aye, your Majesty!"
And you know, when you are very ashamed, found in a such position, when you hit the rock bottom, you try to keep an air of composure and bellow at your turn:
"IT'S MY PRIVATE CHAMBER!! I DO WHAT I WANT IN MY CHAMBER!! IT'S NOT A SELF SERVICE HERE!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!!"
Ashe, dismayed, mumbles: "I.. I'm sorry...I was visiting the House Solidor with Larsa and he assured me that you were not in your private quarters..."
I apologise mentally my Love and continue to bellow: "WHY DIDN'T YOU MAKE AN ANOUNCEMENT?"
Ashe crosses her fingers and replies, shyly, turning back to me: "I just wanted to surprise you"
Hopfully, she can't see my face turn to red: it melts my heart... "We must forget this event, your Majesty, I'm sorry to have put you in this awkward situation.. No more questions on this purpose...".
I feel that my sweet love is burning to know what I was doing but she doesn't say a word, tactfully and leaves. I am gratefull for that...
But I expect her to hide her smile and the rose color of her face.
I am so ashamed than I wish to hang myself immediately.
Later, I learned from by the Lord Larsa that my soul mate cancelled her marriage with Al Cid. I don't want to guess the reason but the smile of Larsa really annoyes me.
And you know why I write all that catastrophic event in this letter paper?
In order to motivate me to put all my strength in when I kick Balthier's ass when he comes back!
The End.