England's Babysitting Service
Prologue: Never Ever
X-x-X-x-X
"Hey England! Can you teach me some magic?"
That was were all the trouble began. Never ever should he have submitted to that wanker's lowly tricks.
Barricaded in his room, England heaved a deep breath, scouring his grimoire for a solution to this calamity. Downstairs, there was a loud thud! followed by several children shrieking.
"See what you do, Prussia? Disgraceful!" Austria's high-pitched voice chimed, piercing the floor, reaching England's ears, and making the island nation cringe. He had to find a way to fix this mess America made.
How did he get that picture of him sleeping with that unicorn plushie, anyways? Seriously, how?
"England! Romano pissed on the carpet!" America called from downstairs- he sounded frantic.
Speak of the devil.
"Take care of it, you twat!" England shot back, leafing through the book's thin, yellowed, pages. A breeze wafted in through the window, making the black gossamer curtains flutter. The grimoire turned a page in response to the breeze.
This needed to be fixed. Either a kid was going to be forced to sit on Busby's Chair, or he was going to go completely off his trolley.
"Really?" America whined, barely audible over the shrieking of the child nations. Yes, child nations. America had managed to babify the Allies (plus Canada) and the Axis (plus Prussia, Austria, and Romano) nations.
Upon seeing what America had done, it took everything he had to not strangle the ninny right on the spot. He had specifically instructed America to not perform any magic without supervision. So what did the bloody git go and do?
Why, he performed a devilishly tricky charm that even England had trouble getting right, without any supervision! And of course the other nations had to be visiting and they had to be in the same room as America when he performed the spell.
"Really! It's your own bloody fault we're in this predicament anyways!" England snarled, ripping a page out of the book in his own anger. "Oh, bloody hell!" he swore fervidly, chucking the grimoire across the room.
He was terrible with children!
Why couldn't America have went and done a spell that would've resulted in body-swapping? Or reverse genders? Hell! Even them being turned into a bunch of cats would've been preferable! Anything but a bunch of sniveling, snot-nosed, high-pitched, hyperactive brats. At least you could ship cats off to some shelter. Greece probably would've been more than happy to take them all in... But kids! There was no way to get rid of them. He and America had to take care of those evil-smelling ninnies until they found a way to reverse the spell or England killed them all. The second option was beginning to look very tempting.
Oh, and of course America had to remain his annoying adult-self. Why couldn't he be turned into a kid, too? He was so cute as a kid!
"Where's the cleaner, England?" America called out.
A vein throbbed in the island nation's neck. "You don't know?" he snapped- but was drowned out by Italy's wailing.
"Get up!" Germany barked.
"Hey! Italy! You can just push yourself up, ya' know?" There was the pitter-patter of America's shoes against the wood.
"Unbelievable…" England muttered under his breath.
Unbelievable was what this entire situation was. Some of the children were good, others tolerable, and the rest…
England, in what precious little spare time he had, composed a list. A list for future reference.
Children that I won't kill:
Germany- (Responsible, tries to keep the others in line, makes his bed)
Japan- (Quiet and reserved, respects his elders)
Canada- (Keeps quiet, you don't even know he's here half the time)
Children I might kill:
Italy- (Cries and whines, and is high-maintenance. Good-for-nothing)
Russia- (He's Russia)
China- (Acts as if he's older than me- well… he is, but I'm the adult now! Get over it!)
Austria- (Keeps pounding on the piano. I'm about to throw that stupid thing out)
Children I will kill (or exact vengeance from):
Prussia- (A huge show-boat, cries "Convert the non-believer!", impulsive, and annoys the other kids to no end. Plus he's underage drinking! Do you know what weird looks I'm getting whenever people spot him drinking beer?)
Romano- (Pisses on my carpet, cannot find the bathroom, swears a lot, and picks fights with the others, before getting beaten up and crying at ridiculously loud volumes)
France- (Arrogant little arse)
America- (Not a kid, but he's the reason that we're in this bloody mess)
"No! Prussia! Stop!" America screeched. "We don't run with swords draw- FU-"
England just groaned, burying his face in his hands.
Here is my super-short preview to this new story idea I had in mind! I'll probably get to the next chapter sometime this week. Yup… Next chapter goes back to right before the babification! This story will be composed of a bunch of short one-shots revolving around the children, with the basic plot-line of "England has to find a way to reverse this spell" to hold it together." Be expecting other nations to drop in and out from time to time in order to liven things up! I'm also a bit bad at humor, but I will try my best! Any tips are much appreciated! :D
I hope you enjoyed this short-short special! :3