A/N: Hi! So this is my first venture into The Office fanfiction, go easy on me! haha. This was an idea I got while watching some of the season 6 episodes, and it was going to be a stand alone oneshot, but then I started to get more ideas for oneshots like this, so I decided to make it into a collection :) Hope you like it!
5 Times Jim Feels Guilty About Getting Pam Pregnant (and 1 Time He Doesn't)
1.
The house is quiet as Jim sneaks stealthily through the front door. Pam had woken up that morning with the worst nausea of her pregnancy so far, and he insisted she stay home from work and try to sleep it off. He had gone in just for a client call in the morning, but got stuck trying to talk Michael down from another one of his crazy schemes. He sneaks in because he's afraid of waking Pam up if she's finally been able to fall asleep. But when he gets upstairs to their bedroom she is lying awake in bed looking quite miserable. He offers a quiet greeting and lays down next to her on the bed. Pam smiles though she looks weak, and leans happily into his arms, resting her tired head against his chest. Suddenly she tenses and before Jim can understand what is happening she tears herself from his arms and bolts towards the bathroom.
By the time he makes it to the bathroom she is on the floor, dry heaving because there isn't anything left in her stomach to throw up and sobbing. After a little bit of coaxing she admits that the smell of his cologne has been making her sick lately, but she loves the smell and didn't want him to stop wearing it. Jim stands speechless above her. He wants to hold her, to comfort her, but he knows further exposure to the scent of his cologne will just make her feel worse. So he takes a shower and throws away the offending cologne. Pam has fallen asleep and he lies down next to her, letting one hand rest on her slightly swollen stomach. He is thankful that, consumed by peaceful slumber, she cannot see the guilt driven tears in his eyes.
2.
When he wakes up at 3 AM in bed alone, Jim is sure that Pam is just in the bathroom. The baby has recently decided that lying with its head pressing against Pam's bladder is an extremely comfortable position, and she is now the stereotypical pregnant woman, waddling off to the bathroom almost constantly. But 3 AM quickly turns to 3:30 AM and Jim realizes that the door to the bathroom is open and it is dark inside. It is only seconds after this realization that he is out of bed, yawning and stumbling towards the door.
Downstairs he walks into the living room and is surprised to find Pam, her eyes rimmed red with exhaustion, pacing back and forth, her hands cradling her stomach. She jumps slightly at the sight of him, and Jim realizes for the first time that a pair of headphones is stretched across her baby bump, connected to the I-pod in her pocket. Jim smirks as she blushes, trying to explain that the baby keeps moving around and kicking and won't go to sleep no matter what she does. She sheepishly reveals that her I-pod is playing a lullaby she downloaded earlier on repeat. Jim laughs and kisses her, pulling her against him and placing a hand on her stomach. She doesn't look up at him, but moves his hand slightly, holding her hand over it until he feels a strong kick and she flinches letting go of his hand. The smile disappears from Jim's face as he feels the baby deliver a few more powerful blows. He drops his hand from Pam's stomach and looks down at her in awe, understanding that this is no laughing matter. Pam looks up at him and his heart drops as she glares at him with tearful eyes. She is silent, but Jim knows what she is thinking, You did this to me.
3.
Jim doesn't look up as the door to his office opens. He had gone in early that morning to get some work done, but Michael had caught wind of his plan and spent the entire extra hour Jim had set aside for expense reports antagonizing him. He is sure now that the intruder is Michael again, looking to set him even farther behind schedule, so when he hears Erin's voice, he can't help but snap his head up in surprise. The usually perky receptionist looks worried, and she speaks so quickly that Jim can't make out what she is trying to say. He tells her to calm down, talk slower and after a breath she is able to relay the message that Phyllis has just called her from the parking lot and wanted her to tell him that Pam has fallen. Before she finishes telling him the whole story Jim has bolted out the door taking the steps two at a time and nearly knocking over Dwight on his way. As soon as he steps outside he remembers the jacket hanging on the coat rack upstairs, but his eyes quickly land on Pam a few feet away and the jacket is forgotten again.
Pam is sitting on the curb with Phyllis crouched next to her. Angela stands above them , and Jim is surprised to see that she looks genuinely nervous. He approaches the trio of women and they all look to him at once. He is shocked to realize his voice is still functional and asking what happened. Pam brushes it off, saying she is fine, but Phyllis reveals that she slipped on some black ice and landed on her side, her stomach hitting the ground when she fell. Jim's heart is racing as he tells Phyllis and Angela that he'll take over, and that they should go inside. When they are gone he helps Pam to her feet and asks her for her keys, informing her that they are going to the hospital. He ignores her protests, telling her to call her doctor and let him know they are coming. She refuses until they are actually in the car driving and she realizes he isn't backing down.
Her doctor meets them at the entrance to the hospital with a wheelchair and before Jim can even comprehend what is happening Pam is lying in a bed in the maternity ward hooked up to a fetal heart rate monitor. She is worried now, and Jim sits by her side, holding her hand and trying to reassure her in this stressful situation. They listen to the monitor together and every time there is even the slightest off beep, Pam squeezes Jim's hand a little harder. She looks so helpless and scared, lying in the aggressively bare room, the heart rate monitor looming like a dark cloud above them, holding the prognosis of their baby in its beeps. One hour and an ultrasound later, they are walking out the door, having been told that their baby is perfectly fine. Jim is relieved, but he makes a mental note not to go in early and leave Pam to brave the parking lot alone anymore.
4.
Jim notices in the car on the way home that Pam isn't acting like herself. She is usually extremely talkative, but today it seems like trying to get her to talk is like pulling teeth. She only mumbles or shrugs in response to his questions and refuses to make eye contact. So when they arrive home he practically jumps out of the car and runs around to open the door for her, in the hopes of forcing a reaction. But Pam just looks down and takes his arm as he helps her out of the car. In that moment, Jim wants to cry out with frustration, but it is Pam who cries out first, wincing and pressing the heels of her hands into her lower back. Instantly Jim is holding her in his arms, asking if she is okay, if she thinks she is having contractions ( a month early), if he should call the doctor, if they need to go to the hospital. She shakes her head, sheepishly revealing that her back has been killing her all day, she just didn't want to worry him because he's already done so much for her and she feels guilty.
Without waiting to hear more, Jim scoops Pam into his arms just as he did seven months ago at the company picnic, though the fact that she is now eight months pregnant and looks it makes the gesture seem even more heroic. He carries her inside and upstairs into their bedroom, setting her down so she is sitting on the edge of the bed and, after kicking off his shoes, he crawls onto the bed behind her and launches into a back rub, letting the tension in her muscles melt beneath his fingers. When he is done he wraps his arms around her, his hands resting on either side of her baby bump, and leans into her ear, telling her how much he loves her and how she never needs to feel guilty about what he does for her. He is thankful that she chooses not to turn around in this moment, because one look at his face would give away his hypocrisy in a second.
5.
Sweat and tears mix on Pam's reddened face as she grabs her stomach and gasps for air. Jim nervously rubs her back, whispering encouraging words in her ear. He glances at the clock, has it really been ten hours? In a moment Pam relaxes, leaning back into the pillows of the bed. The beeping of the heart monitor evens out slightly and she lets out a sob, looking up at Jim in desperation. She is just minutes away from another contraction, and the terror is evident in her eyes. Jim's voice catches in his throat as he looks down at her. This is not the same woman who had come into his office that morning gloating about a great sale she had made and helping him plan a prank on Dwight. It is certainly not the same woman who just five hours ago, during that glorious period of time when the doctors had been able to control her pain with the bare minimum amount of pain medications she had agreed to, was racing him down the hallway in a wheelchair. Now she is merely a shell of that person, twisted by the intense pain that surges through her body periodically.
Jim is unable to speak. He is so in awe of how strong she is, standing by her decision not to have an epidural. He knows she won't last much longer though, because as the next contraction sweeps through her body, she is unable to even sit forward off of the pillows propping her up. One hand goes directly to her stomach, but the other grabs his wrist as she sobs harder, the heart monitor sky rocketing to record speeds. No, Jim thinks, she won't be able to take much more of this. Just as Pam loosens her grip on his wrist, the nurse re-enters with a smile. She is clearly used to situations like this, because with a few quick words she has managed to calm both Jim and Pam down significantly, though Pam's heart monitor will not slow down, and her rest period between contractions has become virtually non-existent. The nurse leaves for just a moment, coming back with the doctor in tow. Then things begin to happen very quickly. Someone shoves a pair of scrubs at Jim and he pulls them on, not leaving Pam's side. She is practically screaming with pain now and the nurse shouts for Jim to help her sit up. It is not an easy feat, but he manages with Pam squeezing his hand so hard he is afraid his bones will snap. Then there is counting and the doctor is telling Pam to push. Jim struggles to keep her sitting while whispering encouraging words in her ear. His heart is racing too now, and everything seems to be moving too fast to keep up with. Before he knows it, the doctor calls that he can see a head, and then he is saying just one more push, one more.
In an instant Jim feels Pam's entire body relax and he helps her to lay back against the pillows. It takes him a moment longer to acknowledge the loud cries echoing through the room. He follows Pam's gaze to where the doctor is holding their baby up for them to see. Their beautiful baby girl.
1. The infant is asleep in Pam's arms when Jim returns from calling their parents. He can't help but smile, walking in quietly and sitting in the seat next to the bed. Pam looks up at him and the smile must be contagious, because a grin breaks out on her face,
"Isn't she beautiful?" She whispers, her eyes going back to the baby.
"So beautiful." Jim replies, his eyes filling up with tears at the sight of their daughter. She is so perfect, ten fingers, ten toes, beautiful green-blue eyes, and a mess of auburn curls. One look at her face and there is no denying that she is their child. But there is still one thing nagging at his mind...
"Pam?"
She looks up at him, a questioning expression on her face, and Jim takes a deep breath.
"I just... all the pain you've been through in the past nine months, was it...I mean..." He trails off, his eyes searching for the answer to his question in hers. Pam smiles and, ever so carefully, leans over and kisses him. When she pulls away her eyes are also damp,
"She was worth every second."