Can I Say I love you?
Beautiful, kind, caring, loving, is my Himeko… Himeko is my everything. If only I could tell her so. If only she were mine. Is that selfish of me? No… it's not because I love her…
"I don't want to go home Chikane…"
Himeko continues to cry in the arms of Chikane, as Chikane held on to her like a precious jewel. The moon was high in the sky, full bloom. The skies were clear, clear in dark blue with its beautiful diamond stars. But who knew that such a beautiful night could be the worse night full of sadness and despair.
"Don't worry Himeko it's going to be alright…"
Chikane tries to clam her fears, but her words don't seem to reach her. All Himeko could do was cry in fear of her grandmother, the cruelty of her grandmothers beating where so frightening too little Himeko.
"No your wrong Chikane… she is going to hit and… and…"
Poor Himeko couldn't finish her sentence to afraid, to scared say anything. Chikane didn't know what to do but just hold her hold her until she could stop crying. Chikane's body shakes in fear too, but not for the same reason as Himeko. Chikane's fear was losing Himeko and not being able to see her. This pained her so much that she held on to her even tighter.
"Oh Himeko… Please don't cry anymore, as long as I'm here everything is going to be okay. You could always come back on the weekends… Himeko"
Himeko didn't say anything, but her tears continued down her face like a rushing river. Suddenly there was a door bell ring at the door. Chikane's heart skipped a beat leaving her an unsatisfied feeling, of discourage and uncertainly. Someone yells down the stairs calling out Himeko's name.
"Himeko your grandma' here…"
Himeko then leaves Chikane's arms and head towards upstairs to the front door, as Chikane waits downstairs for Himeko to return. A few minutes pasted and Himeko was back downstairs looking like something horrible happened. Himeko grabs her stuff and her bag that lay on the floor. Himeko didn't want to leave but she had to. Himeko calls her name.
"Himeko…"?
Himeko didn't say anything and then started to head back up stairs to where her grandmother waits. But Chikane don't want her to end up going home feeling like there was nothing left for her. With out think Chikane grabbed Himeko; embracing her with the warmth of her body.
"Himeko… Please don't give up I'll be here… I'll be here waiting for you to come back… Himeko… Please don't cry anymore…."
Chikane held on to her; Himeko didn't struggle but just let her embrace her.
"Chikane…"
"It's alright Himeko… I'm here…."
Suddenly there's someone calling out Himeko's name again.
"I have to go… sorry Chikane but next weekend I'm not sure if I could come back…"
Chikane didn't say any thing but just watched her leave.
Himeko why don't you just believe that I'll always be here for you… Why can't you just trust me…"?
Chikane glances at a necklace that belonged to her a long time ago, but Chikane didn't care about its past value, but the thought that went though her mind. With passion and hope she grabbed the heart shaped necklace and raced out the door. She need to catch up to her so that she could give her the necklace, but it was too late to reach them they were long gone by now. Chikane was once again alone with only the moon that shined upon her like heaven's light.
My Himeko I hope you're alright… Please don't give up…
The day's pasted as both girls lived through the week. Chikane not know what happened that night, when Himeko got home; left Chikane in worry for Himeko. The week was soon coming to an end as they both wait for that weekend so they could be together. To Chikane this was love, but to Himeko this was just a deep friendship that she valued more then anything. So how could Chikane tell her that she loves her, if she only thinks of this relationship as bond of friendship when Chikane wanted more then that? But even still Chikane could be with her even if they loved each other the same way, because of the age difference. Chikane the age of fifth-teen, and Himeko the age of eleven, four years apart was wrong to the both of them. Unrequited love it might be for poor Chikane…
What I'm I going to do about Himeko…. I hope that she will be able to come over…
That's all Chikane could think about that whole week while she accompanied school. Chikane sat near the window while she sighed for the day to be over so the weekend could come sooner.
"Class tomorrow will be a no school day…"
Huh no school tomorrow?
Chikane then came out of her daze once the teacher mentions that there was no school the next day.
Then maybe Himeko could come over today! I wonder if she would be allowed.
Ding Dong
The school bell rings giving the students a sigh of relief even Chikane. Once the students were dismissed Chikane was the first one out. It didn't matter to her; all she cared was that if Himeko would be able to come over.
Meanwhile
"Sigh… I don't have school tomorrow I should be relieved, but I'm not… I wish I didn't live in that house…"
Chikane sighs after she stops walking then looks at the clear baby blue skies, with the sun shining high in the sky.
"Well at least it's a nice day…"
I wonder if grandma would let me go over to Chikane's house for the weekend… I hope she does…
As Himeko looks at the sky she smiles feeling warmth inside her.
"Chikane…"
Himeko continues walking to her house that she hated but the look on her face was not fear but an inner joy, as she walked.
Oh I know I'll ask Chikane to ask grandma!
With excitement on her mind she rushed home. While Himeko was busy getting home Chikane was in an unsure state.
Umm Should I call or not? Will she be home…? Would her grandma let her come over? Will Chikane want to come over?
Questions ran thought her mind of what to do or if she should. Suddenly the phone rings awakening her from her thoughts of confusion. She goes towards the phone then picks it up.
"Hello Himemiya house Chikane speaking"
"Oh hello Chikane it's Himeko"
"Hello Himeko "
"Um yes … I was wondering if you would ask my grandma if I could come over… cause if I ask I think that she say no".
"Oh of course Himeko"
"Oh ok then I'll just go get her just a minute ok…"
Chikane waited for the woman to answer.
"Hello"
"Hello this is Chikane I was wondering if Himeko would be able to come over, for this weekend"
Himeko's grandmother didn't say anything.
"…"
Chikane's grandmother then answered in an annoyed tone.
"I guess she could…"
She didn't sound too pleased but she said yes anyway. Which had make Chikane happy.
"Here's Himeko…"
"Chikane she said yes …I'll be over soon ok"
"Ok I'll be waiting"
The conversation end like that and Chikane ended up waiting for Himeko to arrive. An hour has passed and there was a knock at the front door. Chikane goes to open it to find Himeko there.
"Hello Chikane"
"Hello Himeko come in"
Like always they spend there day together watching movies or going to the store nothing really special but to them it was wonderful. There day went by so fast that it was night already.
"Himeko do you want me to make you something?"
"Huh…oh um…"
She pauses to think of what she wanted.
"Oh Yes I would like some noodles Chikane"
As she said that, she looks up to find Chikane gone.
"Chikane…"?
Wondering where she went Himeko got up to look for Chikane. She takes a peak in to the kitchen to find her making noodles.
"Chikane"!
She say's excited to have founded her.
"Oh Himeko"
As Chikane says when she turned to find Himeko standing there.
"Chikane I was looking for you"
"Oh I'm sorry… I just rushed off without telling you. I was making your food… It's should be done soon".
"Oh …okay I'll wait right here"
She pointed to the kitchen table Chikane nodded and continued to cook.
So this is where Chikane was. She must have come here right after I said I wanted noodles…Chikane…
Himeko thought as she looked at Chikane from afar.
Chikane…
"Here you go Himeko just what you wanted"
Himeko looks up at Chikane that was smiling waiting for Himeko to take the bowl of noodles that Chikane had make for Himeko.
"Thank-you Chikane"
What a wonderful way to start the weekend they both thought. The night was coming to an end and they become tired.
"Yawn…"
"Are you getting tired Himeko"?
"Yeah I guess I'll go to bed…"
"Oh okay then I'll be going to bed soon as well"
"Okay…night Chikane"
"Night Himeko…"
She waves until she's downstairs then her face expression change from a beautiful smile to an uncertainty and concerned look.
What I'm I going to do… I want to get close to Himeko, but I can't because she only thinks of me as a friend…Himeko…I wish I could tell you how I feel…
Chikane longed to be with Himeko but she couldn't dare cross the line of just being friends. How long could Chikane stay in this state of just being friends?
"Well I guess I should go to bed before I start doubting myself again"
"Sigh…"
Chikane sighs and starts to walk down the stairs to her room where Himeko lays sleeping.
Himeko… I wonder what you think of me… Would you accept me? Would you accept my feeling for you?
Chikane sat in her bed where also Himeko sleeps. Chikane like it when they slept together, but it's not like they had no choice in the first place, for Chikane only had one bed. But still this makes Chikane happy.
Chikane glances at Himeko trying not to blush, but then ends up staring at her with her blushed face.
I'm sorry Himeko…
Chikane pulls back her hair, and then gives Himeko a gentle kiss; then whispering in a sweet clam voice.
"My Himeko… I love you…"
To Be Continued…