Authors Note: Just a little introspection from Natsuki about coming to understand and accept her requited feelings of Shizuru. No interaction - though, Natsuki seems a little stalkerish.
As always, I don't own Mai-HiME of Mai-Otome, unfortunately.
Enjoy.
Shizuru has such expressive eyes.
They are captivating, not only in color; they are so intense. They draw you in, those swirling pools of crimson; maple; red; burgundy, whatever you want to call them. She can keep her face an impassive, blank mask; but she can never cast a facade to shadow her emotion-filled eyes - those beautiful, fierce eyes. They truly are the window to her soul. If only I had been able to read them back then; maybe I would have been able to spare us both all the pain - all the pain of her unrequited feelings, the pain her love.
The thing that kills me though, was the fact that they weren't so unrequited. Contrary to popular belief, I could feel love. I felt that tugging at my heart strings; the dryness in my mouth whenever she got to close. The way my body went hypersensitive whenever she touched me, even if it was just the brushing; caressing of fingertips.
I was stupid. Too stupid, and emotionally uneducated. How was I to know these feelings weren't the norm for best friends? I didn't lie when I said I didn't understand love. I didn't understand it, and I was afraid of it. How could something that brought gentle; soft, delicate people like Shizuru to create such destruction - all in its name be good?
Yes, I didn't understand love, and I didn't want to. That was my downfall. How could I love her the way she wanted, when I didn't even know what love was? I told her this, but I've never been good with words and my eyes aren't as expressive as her own.
It's now, as I see her laying carefree; relaxed, and unpressed to be perfect; amongst the carnations, lily's, sakura, running her hands over the soft, green grass. Hair splayed about her exquisite face, I can just imagine the soft, powerful emotions that are being displayed in her eyes. The thought of witnessing the play, the glimmer; causes my heart rate to jump, my throat to go dry and my lungs to seize.
She thinks she doesn't have me. But she does, so utterly and completely, that even though I've come to understand my emotions; it still scares the living daylights out of me. It simultaneously makes me want to flee, and to follow her to the ends of the earth.
Because of love. I love her. I'm in love with her. Irrevocably and totally, and there's no way in hell I can ever go back to just seeing her as my playful best friend, who enjoyed sipping tea and playing complicated word-games with Reito; who loved to manipulate Haruka into doing her Kaichou duties. The best friend who always liked to make me blush, and has a gorgeous lilting Kyoto-ben accent that sets my blood boiling inside my veins.
As I sit silently by a large sukura tree, I watch her and I love her, and I'll do so silently, until the time comes for me to tell her. I know she loves me too. But there is so much we need to learn about each other still. And when the day comes, when it becomes clear and it feels right - I'll tell her.
I wonder; I wonder if my eyes will shine as powerfully; as intensely as hers, when I do.
End Note: Just a little one-shot done in fifteen minutes. Inspiration befell me and I was powerless to resist; as always.