A/N: Here is my next fic. I got idea to this when I was listening Pink's song Conversations With My 13 Year Old Self. It made me think what Brennan would write to herself. So here is the result
And like always, big thank you to Redrider6612 who is my beta.
Letter to myself
Dr. Brennan stared her screen. It was empty and waited for her to fill it with words.
'Why on earth this was so hard?' she thought. 'I'm a writer and this is just a stupid exercise from Dr. Sweets, nothing more.'
In their last therapy session Dr. Sweets had put her abandonment issues under his "microscope" and as result Dr. Brennan sat in her office and tried to start writing.
"I can do this. I'm writer so this is easy for me," Brennan muttered to herself, and after a while she started to tap her keyboard. First the words came slowly, but soon she found her "voice" and she was writing so intensely that her surroundings faded away.
A few hours later Angela was walking past Brennan's office. It was late, but the lights were on in there as usual. And as usual she went in to say goodbye to her friend and remind her that it was time to go home before she leaving for home herself. What she saw brought her up short. Brennan was asleep on her couch and Angela could see signs of tears on her face. Angela stood there indecisively for a long moment. She was just turning to leave when Brennan stirred.
"Stay." It was a simple request spoken quietly.
"How are you?" Angela asked and went to sit next to Brennan.
"I don't know."
"Do you wanna talk about it? You know sometimes it helps."
"Yeah…I don't know…I…I got this assignment from Dr. Sweets and it really hit me hard. It's on my computer."
Angela looked her friend and tried to read her expression. This was one of those rare situations where she wasn't sure what she wanted her to do. Brennan was again near tears. Angela waited for her to speak, but when it became clear that Brennan wasn't ready to talk she decided to ask her straight out.
"Hon, do you want me to read it or just sit here with you until you feel better?"
Brennan took a moment to think what she wanted and finally she gave a nod to Angela.
"You can read it, but please don't make me talk about it. You know how I hate psychology."
Angela was more than a little surprised. She had expected Brennan to say no to her--she didn't usually open up so easily. This Dr. Sweets assignment must have really shaken her. Angela went to the computer and started to read. It was a letter and when she saw who it was addressed to, it almost broke her heart.
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Dear Temperance
I'm writing to you from the future, so I know what you are going through right now. I hope this letter will give you the hope and strength to go forward. Things are bad now and it mayseem that there is no light, but believe me there is. Things won't stay the way they are now.
I know you are hurt, lonely and scared. Everything familiar has been taken away from you and everything feels out of balance in your life just now. You think that everyone has left you, your mom, dad and your brother. You're right, they left you. It will take a long time from you to forgive Russ and I can't change that but if I could give you any advice it would be to forgive him soon. He's all that is left of your family and he loves you.
As for your parents, I'm sorry you're not going to see your mom again. She will die and you will be the one who identifies her. I won't lie,it will bea hard day. Your father is different story, if you wait long enough he will come back to you. It's not going to be perfect but he will. You will learn things from them you might wish that youhadn't, but I think it's the price of getting them back.
You wonder now what will happen. You will go into the foster system and again Iwon't lie to you, it will be scary and a hard experience. They will bounce you from home to home and none of them will be your real home. In some places they will be nice to you and in some places you will sometimes be afraid that you mightlose your life. It'll be hard but you will get through. Never give up and never give in. Your grandfather will take you out of system and you'll find purpose to your life.
You are smart and it will help you go far. You will graduate at the top of your class and you'll find your place in this world. You will help so many families get the closure that you are longing for now for yourself. You maybe lose your real family now, but along the way you will find a different kind of family, afamily you will choose and who will choose you. They will be there for you no matter what and help you through some really difficult times. So don't lose hope
I wish I could save you and give you a home. I wish I could ease your pain and tell you that life will become easier. In some ways it will because you have these friends around you, but some of that pain you feel now will follow you through your life. But the people around you and the work that you do, those are the things what will make your life worth living.
I'll see you everyday in your journey and I will keep you company. Just follow your path, don't lose hope and keep your head up.
Temperance
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Angela stared the screen, she could feel her own tears running down her face. Slowly she stood up and walked over to Brennan.
"Oh sweetie" she said as she hugged her best friend. "Let it come out, you have kept it inside long enough and as you wrote, we won't leave you no matter what."
Brennan sobbed against Angela until she was so exhausted that she fell asleep again. Angela kept her in her lap and watched her best friend quietly. That was how Booth found them later when he came to pick up Brennan to take her home. He studied situation and tried to figure out what had happened.
"Hi, is everything okay?"
"Yes, I think everything is okay now. She had rough day but for once in her life she let it all out. When she wakes up will you take her home?"
"Yeah, that's why I'm here actually. What happened?"
"She will tell you if she wants. I'm sorry Booth, but I can't talk about it."
"It's okay. It's probably Dr. Sweets exercise that he gave her and you're right, she'll talk when she is ready."
"Yeah."
Silence fell in Brennan's office as her other kind of family waited for her to wake up.
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I'm not going to beg but you know how to make me happy, so push that little button.