(Disclaimer) I don't own Naruto or any of its characters. I don't own Chuck Norris either. If I did it would be sweet, but I don't. Anyways, this is just a one-shot about random Naruto topics. I might add more chapters if I get a new idea or if you guys say that you want more. I'm open to constructive criticism since this is only my second story. I'm not going to beg you not to flame since that won't stop you, but at least try to throw in something helpful. Sorry if any of you are offended. On with the chapter!
Naruto and his friends, i.e. sakura, sasuke, hinata, kiba, shino, shikamaru, neji, and lee, were at the park eating their lunches like they planned a couple days ago.
Ino and ten-ten weren't there because everyone knew that their periods were coming and no one wanted to be around a bitch.
Choji wasn't there because they just bought lunch and he was likely to eat everyone else's lunch as soon as he finished his own.
Lee WAS there because neji let it slip that they'd be having a picnic at the park, and even though they gave him the wrong park, he had checked every park in Konoha until he found them. Which of course made everyone THANK neji in their own special way.
Suddenly, naruto put down his bowl of ramen he was consuming and looked thoughtful. After a minute, he stated something that was both true and totally random.
"Hey, I wonder, why are there no black ninjas in our show?" said naruto.
"YOU IDIOT! SAY AFRICAN-AMERICAN! WE'LL PRY GET CANCELED FOR THAT!" yelled skura, before nailing naruto on his head.
"But… we're in Japan. There aren't any African-AMERICANS in Japan, right? They would be African-Japanese or something…"mumbled naruto.
"Whatever idiot, this is the dub so just go with it" said sasuke.
"Actually, that's a good question. I haven't noticed any bl…African-American ninjas so far…" mumbled hinata.
"Of course you'd agree with naruto hinata…" snickered kiba.
"Shut the fuck up kiba, before I neuter you myself kiba!" yelled hinata.
O.O
"What?" asked hinata
"Hinata…You didn't stutter…" stated neji, apparently not finding it the least bit odd that his usually shy cousin just cussed out her team mate.
"Oh…S-Sorry" said hinata.
"Anyways, naruto, you must have been REALLY fucking high if you think that there hasn't been any black ninjas so far. What about Zabuza?" said kiba.
"Why bother," said sakura "We'll get canceled anyways…"
"Actually, he had that white foggy stuff around him most of the time so we never got a good look" said shikamaru.
"He wasn't black kiba," said sasuke, "He was more Brazilian-ish if you ask me"
"Why were you staring at him so close, sasuke?" said naruto.
"S-Shut up retard!"
"Sasuke merely saw the youth explode in zabuza! I also stare at men intently, and eventually the power of my youth explodes!" proclaimed lee.
(O.O)
"…GAAAAYYYYY!" yelled naruto.
"Lets get back on topic" said shikamaru
"Hmmmm….was kidomaru black?" asked hinata
"No," said naruto, " I think he was orange or something."
"What the hell do you mean by orange?" asked sasuke
"I don't know, it just seemed orange to me….maybe he's Canadian.." implied naruto
"You really are an idiot aren't you naruto?" said shikamaru
"Of course he is, everyone knows that there's no such thing as Canada" said neji
"Of course there is!" yelled naruto " and you all think I'm the retard!"
"naruto, he's right" said neji trying to sound like hinata
"huh?" asked naruto
"you see," explained neji, unrolling a map from nowhere " what people mistakenly call Canada" neji said, pointing to a spot above America, " is actually what is called northern Mexico" said neji, pointing to a spot labeled northern Mexico in sloppy writing.
"wait…" said naruto, " why is that written in blue crayon? And why does THAT spot have white out on it?" inquired naruto
"… why do you wear an orange jumpsuit and say believe it?" .
"what does that have to do with anyth-"
"LOOK A GOLDFISH!" yelled neji
And so neji was off, with his weird hair floating behind him, running away from his comrades, in a desperate attempt not to look completely retarded.
"whatever….anyone see the paper today?" asked naruto
"what happened?" questioned sakura
"well apparently chuck Norris walked down the street with a boner yesterday" said naruto
" so?" said sasuke
"there were no survivors"
(O.O)