Chapter One-

Every love begins with a lot of hope, Every love begins encased in gold
Oh you never fear what you never know will be
I remember times when you took my hand
You might as well of taken my every breath
I never felt a moment of regret till now
Cause I don't wanna say what I'm gonna say
I don't wanna say what I'm gonna say
I don't wanna say what I'm gonna say,
But I'm gonna say it anyway
- Rosi Golan

He is standing on a beach in Norway and his hearts are breaking. After this, he decides, no more bloody trips to Norway. It seems that it's one of the most painful places in the world for him. And he has had enough pain in his existence. More than his fair share throughout his years. But then, perhaps he has had more than his fair share of years as well. But one more visit to Norway might rip both of his hearts from his chest.

"All right." There is a familiar determined set to her chin as she looks into his eyes, and he wants to touch her face. He doesn't look away from her. That he can't do yet, because he is drinking her in and hoping that the sight of her now, windblown, utterly exhausted, unutterably fantastic, can sustain him for the cold decades to come without her. But he's already gone away in his mind. Back on the lonely adventures that will never compare to the simple joy of holding her hand.

She continues speaking, "Both of you, answer me this. When I last stood on this beach- on the worst day of my life- what was the last thing you said to me?"

The Doctor feels the weight of the words he wants to say to her, needs to say to her, trembling on his lips and he almost breaks down, almost breaks into a confession, but stops himself. Buying time, hoping for strength.

"I said Rose Tyler."

"Yeah, and? How was that sentence going to end?"

And, oh, she's beautiful in her painful need of him, and brilliantly stubborn as ever.

But she has him, a different him. A him that needs her too. The only man he would trust to take care of his Rose Tyler. Ironic, that. The thought tastes bitter in his mouth. He doesn't know where he finds the fortitude to hold the words inside. Perhaps it was the wonder he had seen in her face when she had touched his Doppelganger's chest and felt the single heart beat. As he watched her realize what she could have with the him that he was not.

Or perhaps it was the purely selfish desire to protect himself- even if he said it, even if he jumped off that cliff he would still lose her, and she would still lose him, not today but soon enough and he, well he could give her the him she could keep- But something helps him stay silent.
His hearts are breaking but he still needs to answer her question, and he's known the answer since he had another face, but the only answer he will ever give her is silence. And that nearly brings him to his knees, because he knows when he doesn't answer her he will loose her forever. But it's better this way. Better to leave her with this part human version of him so that she can grow old in this new Doctors aging arms. Let them wither and die together. Let him live a thousand years alone.

It took one word for them to begin, and with four words he lets her go.

"Does it need saying?"

The look in her eyes feels like he is letting go of her hand for the last time.

"And you, Doctor? What was the end of that sentence?"

The Time Lord Doctor's eyes meet the Meta crisis Doctor's for just a split second. One of the strangest seconds either has ever known. They are the same man divided and for one it is the cumulation of every dream he has ever had of this woman, and for the other it is the moment that he loses her. It is an act of compassion when the Meta Crisis Doctor leans into Rose and whispers the words the Doctor didn't say in her ear. He doesn't have to hear them said, doesn't truly have to acknowledge that they exist. But even with that bit of grace the Doctor can still imagine the smell of her skin... and when she kisses him...

When she kisses the other him, the Doctor just can't bear to look anymore, can't stand the echoing taste of store brand cherry chap stick that lingers in his memory from the first kiss they shared in his last form. So he turns back to the TARDIS, feeling his shoes crunching through sand. He's grateful for Donna walking behind him. He knows that if there was someone he was going to go through this with he would want it to be her. Of course, with Donna, there is a whole new type of pain coming. The pain of losing his best friend, essentially his sister. He opens the TARDIS slowly, and steps through the door. Donna closes the door behind him and steps to the controls because he can't. He's frozen, head pressed against the door and before they are completely gone from her universe he whispers the words he knows he will always regret not saying to her. "Rose Tyler, I love you." As they slip into the time vortex he raises a futile hand to press against the appearances-are-deceiving wooden door. "I would run with you forever if I could."

And that is the moment everything changes, because that is the moment Rose Tyler emerges from the corridor where she'd been hidden until a moment before. Still facing the door, eyes closed, he doesn't see her. But he hears Donna gasp. And then he hears her voice. "You'd better, My Doctor. Because I made my decision a long time ago. And you will never be alone while I have somethin' to say about it."

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