Summary:
When Steve Rogers acquiesced to his best friend's request to spend his last night in New York at a dance club, he expected it to end as it always did, in disappointment. Instead, Steve meets someone who could change his life, if he can only convince her it's safe to do so. A/U in a major way. Pre-serum Steve in modern times. No Avengers or Super Heroes.
Notes: For Dresupi.
Got this bug in my ear a few months ago. It was originally conceived with post-serum Steve in mind, but then I had this crazy notion to use pre-serum Steve in a modern setting A/U.
This is also dedicated to Dresupi to make up for that horrible, sad thing I wrote for her back when, unbeknownst to me, she was going through a particularly hard time. I hope this one isn't as sad, though there is the angst necessary in all romance stories. Possibly one major character death that occurs before the story begins, I'll check with her on that one, though.
Some of the dialog, you will note, is taken from Captain America: The First Avenger. Also, you should know that I've never actually been inside a night club so I made this first scene up from watching shows and reading stories. Which is how I make up my sex scenes as well so I figured it was OK. :D
Title and song lyrics at the beginning of each chapter are from Pink's song, which is one of my fave of hers...seriously, it's so difficult to pick a fave of her music. :)
Other things: The first two chapters were one chapter, but it ended up nearly 10K words, half of those smut, so I split it up. Also, if you don't like smut, you can skip that part. I'll post breaks so you can read the beginning and end of chapter two. Anyway, if this chapter feels as if it ends suddenly, that's why.
I think that's everything. Please R&R.
Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Closed your eyes and trusted, just trusted?
Have you ever thrown a fistful of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, "I just don't care."?
Steve Rogers walked at the leisurely pace a hot New York August night dictated, toward the club where he had promised to meet his best friend, Bucky Barnes. Steve suspected he would walk just as slowly if it was the dead of winter. A dance club was not his favorite venue. But it was Bucky's last night in town before he headed back to DC to finish his final year paying off his Army ROTC loan.
They'd spent the week together, and Steve had found his two-month unemployment was a benefit. He had a new job in the morning, but he'd been glad for the opportunity to have time with his old friend. It had been over a year since they'd seen each other and Steve always missed Bucky.
As Steve drew closer to the club, his attention was drawn to a couple on the sidewalk. The man was screaming at the crying woman. Steve felt the sharp feeling of injustice he always felt in such situations and couldn't stop himself from walking over to intervene.
"Hey, is this guy bothering you?" Steve walked boldly up to the young blonde-haired woman and the large sandy-haired man.
"Leave it alone, jackass," the man told Steve and pulled himself up to his full height, around five-feet-ten in Steve's estimation, until he towered over Steve's five-feet-four, skinny frame.
"Not unless you leave the lady alone," Steve said.
The man laughed.
"She ain't no lady," he told Steve, the man's Bronx accent become plain now. "She's just my whore girlfriend."
Steve's anger was immediately piqued at the comment. He clenched his jaw and his fist swung out to make contact with the taller man. The latter stumbled, but mostly in surprise at Steve's attempt. Then he laughed and swung back at Steve, hitting him square in the jaw and sending Steve's skinny body tumbling backwards onto the pavement. Steve righted himself and tried for another pass, but he ended up taking a hit in his gut instead, and falling to his knees. He pushed himself up with his hands and lifted his fists again.
"You just don't know when to give up," the man said.
"I could do this all day," Steve replied, though he was still gasping for breath from that last hit. He watched in relief as the girl walked quickly down the street away from them.
The man connected his fist to Steve's face one last time and Steve spun and sprawled to the ground, face down. He was pushing himself up when he heard another voice.
"Hey, pick on someone your own size," Steve heard Bucky tell the man.
When Steve finally righted himself, both the man and the woman were gone. Steve attempted to brush himself off and wipe some of the blood off his face.
"Sometimes, I think you like getting punched," Bucky said as he walked toward Steve.
"I had him on the ropes," Steve assured Bucky.
"Sure you did," Bucky chuckled. "Come on, we gotta meet the girls."
"Girls?" Steve questioned, then sighed at Bucky's smile.
"You didn't say anything about fixing me up with some girlfriend of a girlfriend," he complained immediately.
"It won't be so bad," Bucky assured him.
"You said that last time," Steve grumbled. "And the time before that, and…"
"Bucky!" Steve heard a woman call out his friend's name. She was standing in the middle of a long line of people waiting to gain entrance into a club on Manhattan's Lower East Side.
Steve groaned inwardly.
"What did you tell her about me?" he asked.
"Only the good stuff," Bucky replied.
Steve didn't feel very reassured by that knowledge. When they approached Bucky's new girlfriend and her friend, Steve was even less reassured. While Bucky leaned in to kiss his girlfriend, the other woman gave Steve a withering once-over and it was apparent she was entirely unimpressed. The woman was the typical type Bucky always tried to set Steve up with, namely, Bucky's type. Steve tried to be nice as Bucky introduced the three, but, as Bucky guided them to the front of the line to give their names which were on the guest list, the women began whispering to each other. Steve really disliked this breach of manners. He knew it was common nowadays, but it made him feel self-conscious.
The guard opened the cord to allow the four to enter. The noise was the first thing to hit Steve. He didn't go out to this sort of place often and he felt the pressure of the bass on his eardrums. The lights weren't too annoying. At least you could see inside the room. The few times before when he'd gone out with Bucky, the dance clubs were so dark Steve could barely see in front of his face. They were able to find a table, which made Steve glad he had insisted on an early evening. He would spend most of the night sitting anyway, as he couldn't dance without making a complete idiot of himself.
They ordered drinks and hors d'oeurves and Steve tried to make small talk with "the friend" when Bucky and his girlfriend went to dance. When it became apparent that Steve wasn't going to ask her to dance, the woman excused herself and left the table. Steve would have had to be blind to miss her disappointment. The drinks came back followed by the food, and Steve nursed his beer and nibbled on the nachos. Bucky and his girlfriend came back, followed by her friend shortly, and they drank for a bit and ate up the chips, then the three returned to the dance floor.
Steve had a hard time drawing the waitress's attention to get a soda and maybe order a pizza. He sank down in his seat feeling unsure of himself. Anywhere else he was fine, but put him in a situation where there was dancing or women, or worse, a combination of the two, and he turned into a mess. All the coaching from Bucky on how to speak to a girl had failed, and, to be honest, Steve had realized by their last year of high school, that it was a good thing. Steve liked Bucky, they had been best friends since childhood, but Bucky's idea of what a good woman was, and Steve's own idea, differed greatly. Steve didn't want to end up with the type of woman Bucky chased after. He was sure they were nice enough, but they tended to be petty and a little too clingy and needy.
Steve was brought out of his momentary self-pity by a waitress approaching his table.
"The lady over there," she jerked her head to indicate some place behind her, "says you needed something."
"Uh, yeah," he said. "Just want a Coke and a pizza."
"We only have Pepsi, and what do you want on your pizza?" she replied.
"That's fine, and I'll have Italian sausage and banana peppers," he told her.
"We only have regular sausage and green peppers," she explained.
"Yeah, that'll be fine," he said.
She turned and left and Steve tried to find the woman the waitress had indicated. Though the room was well-lit, he didn't notice anyone overtly trying to draw his attention, so he returned to people watching and wishing Bucky would have wanted to do something else his last night in New York.
The waitress brought back the Pepsi and Steve drank it slowly as he waited for the pizza. When it finally arrived, Steve did something impulsive and, for him, entirely out of his nature.
"You said there was a lady who sent you over earlier," he reminded her. "Is she still here? I, uh…" Steve wasn't really sure what he wanted to do, but his curiosity had been piqued at the very least.
"Yeah, she'd sitting alone in a back row booth," the waitress turned and pointed Steve in the direction of the table. "She's got on a blue dress. See? With the low v-neck?"
Steve couldn't see the dress, but he could see a woman sitting by herself.
"Brunette?" he asked.
"Yeah, that's her," the waitress smiled and left.
Steve looked around as he tried to figure out what he should do. The pizza was too big for him to eat by himself. He'd ordered it thinking he needed some to share with Bucky and the girls, but they were nowhere to be seen. He took a deep breath, then stood and picked up the pizza and Pepsi and walked over to the table where the woman sat. Though she watched him approach, the brunette gave him no indication if she was pleased with or even remotely interested in his presence.
"Hi," he said, figuring it was as good a start as any. "I, uh, have a lot of pizza here and I seem to have temporarily misplaced my friends."
She cocked an eyebrow at him and while her scrutiny didn't seem as withering as his "date's" had been, Steve was no more consoled by it.
He was beginning to worry he might drop the whole pie when she nodded toward the table as if to indicate he should set it down. Steve swallowed down the nerves that had found their way to his throat and now threatened to strangle him.
"Do you mind if I, uh," he was completely tongue-tied, yet again, and he wondered why he had even bothered.
She waved at the empty side of the both to indicate he could sit. He did and took a swallow of his soda to relieve his suddenly dry mouth. The woman across the table was, and there was no other way to say it, drop-dead gorgeous. When he'd first walked toward her table and noted just how low-cut her dress was, he was afraid his nerves would make his eyes drift down far too often to be polite. Instead, he found the beauty of her entire face mesmerizing. Her steel blue gaze never left his, and he couldn't seem to figure out how to look away.
She raised her hand and the waitress stopped at the table.
"We need two plates," she told the woman. As the waitress walked away, Steve suddenly realized he'd never bothered to introduce himself. He flushed with embarrassment at his rude behavior and that earned him another raised eyebrow.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't even introduce myself."
"My name's Steve," he told her. Bucky had always been pretty adamant about not sharing his last name when they came to places like this. Steve thought it absurd considering how many "Steve Rogers'" there must be in just the Five Burroughs.
"Maria," she said with a slight nod.
Steve was relieved that, so far, she didn't seem to be one who was prone to giggle. That sort of thing always made him feel as if he was back in junior high, and made him feel nervous that the woman was laughing at him. However, she also didn't really seem to be openly interested, which confused him since she had sent the waitress to him. He knew she must have been watching him for some time before that, though why, he really wasn't sure. She looked like she was entirely out of his league. In truth, she looked like she was even out of Bucky's league.
"So, uh, you come to this club a lot?" he asked. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he flushed with embarrassment again. "Oh, no, that's not a good one. That's a cheezy pick up line, isn't it?"
Maria finally gave him a slight smile, as if she was amused, which only served to fluster Steve more.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm not really good at this. I just, well, when the waitress pointed you out and I saw you were alone, I…"
Steve sighed. He really wasn't sure how to talk to a woman. Bucky had called him the quintessential geek, though Steve had argued that he didn't have the slightest interest in attending a comic book convention so his geekdom membership had been revoked.
"You came in with a woman," Maria commented.
"Yeah, that's kind of a blind date thing," he told her.
Maria nodded.
"Those are usually horrible," she said.
"Mine always end pretty much like what you saw," he said.
The waitress brought the plates as well as utensils and the two each took a piece of the pizza. When Maria took up knife and fork to start her piece, Steve smiled.
"You're from the Midwest," he commented.
She looked up at him in surprise for a second, then down at her untensils.
"Oh, that's right," she said, and set them back down.
"No, that's OK," he told her. "I was just trying to figure out what your accent was. It's definitely not New York, not even upstate."
"Chicago," she told him. "I lived there my whole life."
"Brooklyn," he shared. "I did go to college out of state, though."
"I didn't," she said. "This is the first time I've lived anywhere else."
"How long have you been here?" he asked.
"About two weeks," she said.
"Oh," that surprised Steve for some reason, but it immediately explained to him why someone as beautiful as Maria was in a place like this all alone.
"Hey, Steve-o," Steve heard Bucky's voice and looked up to see him a few steps away from the table, behind Maria.
"Been looking for you," he said as he approached them. "Was there something wrong with our…Oh."
Bucky stopped midsentence and stared at Maria. Steve had seen that look before and this time he couldn't blame his friend. Maria was truly an amazing beauty. Steve had noted right away that she wore only minimal make-up, and she probably hadn't really needed that. Her hair was swept up into a loose bun and the tendrils hanging down around her neck were beginning to have an effect on Steve. He wished he had Bucky's charm, just this once.
"So, there is something wrong with our table," Bucky said, as a pleasant smile came to his face. "This beautiful creature is not sitting at it."
Steve saw right away that Bucky had chosen the wrong words. That surprised him. Most women were immediately captivated by his friend.
"Introduce me to your new friend, Steve," Bucky told him.
"This is Maria," he told Bucky. "Maria, this is my friend, Bucky."
"At your service," Bucky said and held out his hand to her. Maria only smirked and kept her hands in her lap.
Bucky let his hand drop and looked between Steve and Maria for several seconds.
"Right, then," he continued. "Well, the girls and I are back at the table, if you aren't too busy with your pizza."
Bucky's emphasis on the word drew Steve's attention away from the tension that had developed between the three.
"Oh, I bought this," Steve said and looked at Maria. "Would you like another piece?"
Maria shook her head.
"Why don't you take it back to the table?" Steve turned to Bucky now.
"Sure, that'd be great," Bucky said, still obviously put out by Maria's reaction to him.
Steve told him he'd be over in a minute as his friend took the pie and left.
He looked back at Maria and tried not to sigh dejectedly, and probably failed miserably.
"Would you like to dance?" she asked.
Steve was surprised but he shook his head.
"I don't really know how," he told her.
"There's not much to it anymore," she explained. "You just throw your body around to the music."
"I know," he told her. "But I have zero rhythm, and I always look as if I'm doing the Chicken Dance."
This caused her to chuckle as a real smile graced her lips and if Steve hadn't thought her the most beautiful woman he'd seen in years, he couldn't deny it now. As a result, he felt his brain go dead. He couldn't even recall what they'd been talking about before Bucky had interrupted them.
"Well, I should…" He waved his thumb in the direction Bucky had just gone.
"Yeah, your date…" Maria said.
"It was nice meeting you, Maria," he said as he slid from the booth.
She nodded, a slight smile on her face.
"You, as well," she said.
Without thinking, Steve stuck his hand out, in the same way Bucky had, but this time, Maria accepted. When their hands touched, Steve felt the heat travel up his arm. He flushed and knew he must be beet red now, which only served to further embarrass him. He was surprised when he noticed the color rise to Maria's cheeks as well.
"Good night," was all he could manage, however, before he turned and left.
He sat back at the table with Bucky, who gave him a hard stare, and the girls, and pretended he was enjoying himself. He remembered his earlier conversation with Maria now and what he'd rather do was ask her what had brought her to New York after a lifetime in Chicago. He wanted to know if she knew anyone here in the city. He wanted to understand why someone as beautiful as she was alone at a club, and, more importantly, why she had reacted more positively to him than to Bucky. It was certainly a rarity.
Giggling across the table brought him back to the present situation. The girls were whispering to each other and laughing over whatever they had said. Annoyed, Steve glanced over to where Maria was sitting. She was still alone at the table and, Steve thought, she was simply watching all the people. He couldn't imagine it was easy to pick up and move across the country from the place you'd lived your entire life. When he'd gone to college, at least everyone in his dorm was in the same boat. Trying to break into new groups of people and make new friends, or even acquaintances, when everyone around you was already comfortable, would have to be difficult.
After several minutes, Maria stood and began to walk toward the door. Steve was sorry she was leaving, and even more sorry she didn't have to walk by their table to do so. He watched as she tried to weave her way through the crowd. Half-way to the door she was met by a guy who might have had too much to drink, but definitely didn't know how to take 'no' for an answer. Steve immediately stood and began to make his way toward her, Bucky called out to him. He could almost see his friend roll his eyes as Bucky realized exactly what Steve had gone to do.
Steve glanced around to see if there were any guards coming to the scene. He thought there were supposed to be guards or bouncers in places like this. He saw no one else who was paying attention so he quickened his steps as much as he could through the sea of people. It was difficult to keep a line of sight on her as most of the people were so much taller than he. Steve was about ten feet away from Maria when the space between them opened up and he could see what was happening. And what was happening was that Maria had apparently had enough and had taken matters into her own hands. Without dropping her purse, she grabbed the man's arm and quickly twisted it around behind him, spinning him away from her. He yelped in pain and Steve stopped to watch. He felt a smile come to his face as Maria gave the jerk an earful then shoved him away from her. The man stumbled but then quickly moved away.
Maria didn't turn to see who was watching, though Steve had an idea that she already knew. He watched as she headed to the doors. Bucky was behind him now and leaned down to talk to Steve.
"Move your ass, kid," he told Steve. "Your dream girl is heading out and you're going to miss your chance."
Steve didn't need to be told twice. He followed after Maria and caught up with her just outside the exit.
"Wait, Maria," he called after her.
She stopped then slowly turned around. He walked quickly over to her.
"That was…" He started but couldn't quite get his mind around what he wanted to say. "What you did…" Again, he tried, but failed to convey anything he was thinking.
"What?" She quirked that eyebrow at him again and it made Steve feel things he really shouldn't about a woman he'd only just met. "Do you want some pointers?"
"Huh?" Steve wasn't sure what she was referring to.
"Earlier, I saw you earlier around the corner trying to take on King Kong," she said, an amused look playing across her face.
Steve felt another blush creep up his neck, threatening to take over his entire face. She'd seen that. She must think him a complete idiot. Steve never felt foolish for doing things like that, but tonight he did. He swallowed thickly and was about to tell her goodnight again when she finally spoke up.
"It was brave of you," she said, a soft smile growing on her face. "It was stupid, but it was brave. There aren't a lot of people around who will stand up to bullies like that."
He stared at her in surprise. That was not what he was expecting her to say. Suddenly, his collar felt too tight and he had to fight against an insane impulse to reach out for her. Something must have shown on his face because hers showed a vague confusion, as if she couldn't believe that he would be interested in her that way. Steve thought that more insane than his thoughts. How could anyone not be interested in her? And now it went beyond her outward beauty for Steve. Now he wanted to know the answers to all the questions he'd had earlier, and more.
Steve had always had a fear of taller women, and beautiful women, and women in general. His few dates after college had generally turned out like the blind date tonight. He didn't want this chance meeting to end that way. His feet were moving, as if on their own volition, taking step after hesitant step toward her. All he could think at the moment was he really wanted to wipe the confusion off her face, wanted to show her that she shouldn't be surprised about his sudden feelings for her.
He kept his gaze on her eyes, and tried not to think about her height. Even in only two inch heels she was nearly six feet tall, Steve was certain. He tried even more not to think of every horrible joke he'd ever heard about why a short guy like him would want a tall woman like her, he hoped she'd never heard any of the jokes.
When he reached her he stopped and touched her arm, then slowly slid his hand up to her shoulder. He could feel goose pimples forming on her skin, which was certainly an effect he didn't usually have on a woman. The skin on her neck quivered when he touched it and ran his hand behind her neck to, hopefully, pull her down to him to kiss. She slowly lowered her face to his, and Steve couldn't help but be deeply affected by the confusion still in her eyes. If anyone ought to be confused, it was him, over why on earth she was about to let her kiss him.
Maria's lips brushing against Steve's made the already warm night feel even hotter. He slipped his other arm around her back as her free hand snaked into his hair and the hand she held her purse in wrapped around his back. He ventured a slide of his tongue over her lips and sighed in deep satisfaction when she opened for him. The kiss deepened and Steve felt as if the world was spinning around him. He hadn't kissed a woman like this in years, he hadn't known a woman like her in years. Finally, he had no choice but to pull away if he was going to be able to breathe again. They both gasped for air and Steve moved his hand to palm her cheek. He didn't want to break contact at all. He didn't want this to end now. He was going to ask her for her phone number but those weren't the words that tumbled, breathlessly, from his mouth.
"Can I take you home?" he asked. He wasn't even surprised at his boldness.
She nodded and Steve was glad to see, when he looked back up at her, that he'd successfully cleared all her doubts. He took her hand in his and led her to his motorbike. It was then he realized the flaw in his plan. He glanced surreptitiously at the skirt on her dress. It seemed like it might be short enough but the thought of her bare legs brushing up against him while they were riding down the road was a bit much to process at the moment.
He cleared his throat and handed her one of the helmets, suddenly glad that Bucky had made such a big deal to Steve about bringing two "just in case." This probably wasn't the "just in case" Bucky had meant, but it was the one Steve wanted.
Notes:
In other news, and this could possibly affect updates on stories for the next month, I finally packed my kids up and left my abusive husband. It's a huge complicated mess, obviously, and someday I'll write a story. For now, the kids are out of school and court is closed today so first thing tomorrow morning...
I tell you this because a month ago I went public about the abuse among my "IRL" friends and have been amazed at the reaction. Having an abused mindset, I thought people would be angry with me for telling others, but they have been nothing but supportive. If you are in an abusive relationship, tell someone about it. If you need help finding an abuse center, or just encouragement, I can help you there. The services at the abused women's center I go to (which I cannot reveal the name of, even if you ask, sorry) have been helpful. I know it's because of them that I finally got brave enough to leave.
Won't lie to you, though, leaving is like jumping off a cliff. So I'm fairly certain it's going to affect my writing for at least a little bit, as in, I'm not sure how much I'll be writing. I may just take a week off and focus solely on my kids.