Jonathan goes looking for Geth when he doesn't come back. As soon as he could get the LGSM kids out his front door, he snatches up the car keys, ignoring the wine glasses collected about the flat and the crumbs on the carpet. If Gethin is alright, he is going to kill Jonathan for leaving their flat in such a state.
Even though it's half past four in the morning, cars still clutter the main streets because it's London, and even in the early hours of the morning, 'or especially in the early hours of the morning' Jonathan thinks, there's still fun to be had.
He's trying so hard to drive cautiously even though his mind is frantically thinking of all of the things that could have happened to his gentle boyfriend.
He travels down their street for a little while, tapping his fingers anxiously against the steering wheel, and pulls right off onto one of the streets with a chain of clubs that he's familiar with. Most of them had quieted down and would resume their raucous once again that night.
His heart stops for a second when he sees a figure curled into a ball on the sidewalk. He almost drives past because the figure is lying in the shadow of the building and the street lamps do nothing to illuminate the person. But he can tell.
Even though it's futile and he's not a religious person, Jonathan thinks 'god no'.
'Please don't let it be him', and of course it is. Of course.
Jonathan swings to the curb almost taking out the fire hydrant, and leaves the engine on and the car door open in his desperation to reach his lover.
Gethin is near unconsciousness but he recognizes the gentle touch of Jonathan's hand on his face and the curve of his body as Jonathan collects him into his arms and totes his to the passenger's seat.
"God, you're so fucking stupid Geth", and Gethin doesn't take any offense because he knows Jonathan is really saying 'I love you'.
Jonathan is reluctant to remove his arms from around Gethin's bleeding and broken body, but he has to get him to the hospital. He has to. He can't lose him.
He was never supposed to be the one to lose the love of his life; it was supposed to be the other way around. Is this what Gethin feels like when he looks at Jonathan? That constant fear of losing the thing you hold most dear?
Jonathan gently buckles Gethin's seat belt, noticing the whimper that is elicited from grazing his ribs.
This time Jonathan doesn't care about caution. Screw the stop signs and the red lights and all the other rules that impede him from getting his weakening lover to the hospital.
Once he's at the hospital, he pulls up to the front door, leaves the car running, and carries Gethin to the front desk.
He probably looks like a lunatic. His shirt is stained with Gethin's blood, his hair is more unkempt than usual, and his face is contorted into an expression of distraught.
The nurse on duty gives him one look and takes off running down the side corridor to get a doctor. They come out with a stretcher for Jonathan to place Gethin on. They start wheeling him away and Jonathan makes to follow them but one of the nurses stops him with a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"You can't go back there" she says in a gentle way.
"I have to" Jonathan insists. He needs to.
"Are you family?" she replies.
"Yes" Jonathan answers without hesitation. Gethin is the only family he has. The only family he needs.
He doesn't know if she believes him or if she just takes pity for his obvious distress, but she removes her hand from his shoulder. Jonathan doesn't give her a chance to change her mind and is around the end of the corridor before she can say another word.
The doctors are less kind to his plight and insist he stay outside the room while they inspect Gethin's state. He plops down in an uncomfortable plastic chair and puts his face in his hands. He hasn't cried once and he doesn't think he can now. He doesn't have the energy.
After about half an hour of sitting there, a nurse brings him a cup of coffee. He sips it and gives her an appreciative smile, even though it's loaded with far too much sugar. He waits until she's gone to dump it in the fern beside him.
An hour and a half later, the doctor finally emerges, gives Jonathan a nod of acknowledgement, and gestures with his hand to the door of Gethin's room. Jonathan shoots up from the chair and staggers to the door through a wave of vertigo from standing up too quickly.
If he hadn't been holding onto the door handle, his knees might have given out from under him at the sight of his sweet boyfriend so small and pale against the blue sheets of the hospital bed.
He finds the strength to walk the three steps to the left side of his bed and hesitantly rest a hand over Gethin's, which is by his side.
He trails his fingers over the back of Gethin's arm, tracing all of the freckles and moles that form a constellation on Gethin's skin. He loves waking up in the morning and kissing the mole on Gethin's back. Every single one of them.
He has a pretty bad cut under his left eye, his ribs are bandaged, and bruises cover the visible portions of his body. Jonathan fears what else lies beneath the hospital garments they put him in.
But he's alive. That's what matters… and Jonathan's breathe catches in his throat thinking about what would have happened if he hadn't found him.
'God damn it Gethin', he wants to be mad at him. He's mad at him for making his heart feel like it's in a vice-like grip, struggling to beat in the confines of his fear. He's mad because now he knows what it feels like to almost lose the person you love. He's mad because he knows he's making Gethin feel this way every single day and he wants to protect him so bad. He wants to protect him from the heartache of inevitably losing Jonathan in the end. But he can't, because he's selfish and he craves the warmth of Gethin's companionship.
He craves all of the coffee-kisses in the morning, and Gethin falling sleep with his face pressed against the crook of his neck. He craves the way Gethin's eyes watch him when he thinks Jonathan isn't watching, and the way Gethin's smile can light up his whole fucking world.
Jonathan feels his breathing becoming more rapid and pulls the chair behind him closer so he can sit at Gethin's side.
The sunlight gently streams in through the window on the opposite side of the room. It glints off of the metal bed frame and highlights the gentle features of Gethin's face.
Jonathan removes his hand from Gethin's to place it on top of his chest. He feels the reassuring beating of his heart, the rhythm slightly slower than normal but beating nonetheless.
He rests his head on his other forearm and allows himself to close his eyes for the first time. He repeats the mantra 'He's all right, he's safe', over and over until his muscles relax and his mind quiets.
The nurse that comes in to check on Gethin doesn't wake either of the men up. She smiles at the way Jonathan's hand is still resting over Gethin's heart, his fingers splayed out across his chest. It's the same nurse who asked if Jonathan was family and now she sees that he's something much more important. She quietly shuts the door on the way out.
Jonathan keeps gently snoring, Gethin's heart keeps beating under his fingertips, and the sun rises on another day that the two lovers survived… together, as they always should be.