Author's note: Ever wonder what the seventh Harry Potter book is going to look like? Well, you don't have to, because here it is! Broken into two chapters for easy reading.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. And don't read this if you're easily offended and/or in love with the Harry Potter books. For more info, use your handy-dandy dictionary to look up the word "parody."
Prologue: Oh the Thinks You Can Think
J. K. Rowling sat by her computer, looking worried.
"How am I ever going to think of a satisfactory end to the seventh book?" she wondered aloud. "I put my all into the first six Harry Potter books, but now I've got nothing left. And I told everybody that there were going to be two deaths, and that I was going to end the book with the word 'scar.' What a total moron I've been. How in Satan's name am I ever going to pull it off?"
Ms. Rowling sat, and she thought.
"I've got it!" said she. "I'm already filthy rich, and no one can sue me for writing a lousy book. My prayers have been answered! Thank you, Satan."
She typed away, fast and furious.
Chapter One
In a bed, a grotesque figure lay sleeping. A ghostly looking figure crept through the open window.
"Voldemort," it said. "You have been very bad. You will be visited tonight by four ghosts. The ghosts of the past, the present, the future, and Sauron."
"Why Sauron?" asked Voldemort.
"Because you remind me so much of him, and I always thought it would be interesting to have you two meet, that's why."