Homura woke up. "Fuck, not this shit again." She had given up trying to save Madoka and was just dicking around at this point. The more she looked at Madoka, the uglier she realized she was. Her throbbing nose zit was growing more and more prominent each time they met.
She ripped out the IV and anal probe and walked out of the hospital. Every single staff member was tending to the violin man to make him feel important. His parents were paying them to do that. With the halls empty, the patients were all free to roam as they pleased. Homura pulled out her used tampon and chucked it to the side as she marched to the school, which was in the same building.
Homura kicked in the door of the classroom. "What funky antics should I get into this time?" she said aloud.
Madoka swooned, but she didn't know why she swooned. The teacher gave way to gravity and let Homura take the stage. Homura grabbed the digital chalk and hastily scrawled a penis on the board with the word "Homo-ra" written on it in the style of her favorite LP. She spun on a heel and addressed the room. "If any of you ever see a cat anywhere at any point in time, kill it and don't look back." She flicked her skirt and gave her rump a loud smack before taking her seat. "THIS is an ass."
The teacher was not awake.
Madoka and her friend triangle sat in just such a formation at lunch. "So," said Sayaka, making uncomfortable small talk, "who's your favorite violinist? I sure know who mine is."
"Me too," Hitomi grumbled, coughing up her half-eaten corn muffin.
"Me three," Sayaka said again.
"Me four," Hitomi said again.
Homura was there. She had attempted to teleport into the room quietly, but instead came out directly above the table. Loud sounds of porcelain and glass shattering went through the room as Hitomi coughed up more of the pastry into Homura's bosom.
"Give that back!" Hitomi demanded, jamming a fist completely through Homura's shirt and into her cleavage.
Sayaka raised her hand to try to get the lunch monitor's attention. Madoka, meanwhile, sat around and watched like the useless bitch she was.
Homura saw Madoka's indifference to conflict, and her menstrual rage boiled up inside her like a mento in a bottle of diet coca cola brand cola. She grabbed Madoka by the throat and woke up.
"New high score!" Kyubey dinged from the edge of the hospital bed. "36 minutes. That's the fastest you've ever fucked it up."
Homura grabbed Kyubey and threw him out of the window. Kyubey promptly walked in through the door. He jumped up on the bed and sat a little too close to her crotch.
"Just thought I'd let you know, you've been fucking up so much that we're running out of parallel universes for you to 'save,' so now we just have to use ones that are kind of close."
Homura shrugged. "Oh kay," she said. Ripping Kyubey's tail off and wearing it like a scarf, she stuffed the corpse in her bag. "Today's lunch."
Homura arrived into school without a doubt. She lazily scribbled her name on the board and sat on Madoka's desk. But Madoka didn't notice, because Madoka didn't have eyes.
Homura was taken aback. "What the fuck happened to your eyes?" she screamed.
"Why would you say that to me?" Madoka sobbed. A tear would have rolled down her face.
"Not happenin'," Homura shook her head, waking up again.
Kyubey started to say something, but Homura jabbed him with the IV and pulled the fire alarm. This would only affect the hospital part of the building.
Homura practically ripped the door off its hinges and just drew a line on the board instead of her name. "Class, this is Line Segment," the teacher introduced. The students gave a standing ovation, except one. This was Hitomi, who was far too deep into her devious scheme to pull out now. She stroked her handelbar mustache and gave a defiant sneer.
"Heeeeeh! All I have to do is get Homura to sit in this chair, and then I can tie her up and hold her for a ransom of Violinio's love and money."
Homura sat in a different chair. Hitomi's plans were ruined, and she signed the contract. With her out of the way, there would finally be room for Homura at lunch.
"That class will be dismissed," said the teacher. Homura stood eerily close to Madoka as they walked to the lunchroom. Madoka was too gay to feel uncomfortable.
As they sat down at the lunch table, Homura and Madoka both in the same chair, with another occupant in the second chair. "Homura, this is my best friend Sayaka," Madoka said, gesturing to the blue wig-wearing Kyubey in the chair.
"Kyubey, why are you Sayaka now?" Homura asked.
"I told you things were gonna start to get weird," Kyubey confessed.
"Give a minute while I go heat up my instant cup-o-noodles," Homura sighed. She grabbed "Sayaka" by the neck, turned to the adjacent table of pay-per-roast microwaves, and stuffed him in, setting the microwave to "popcorn."
Madoka screamed, which was kind of hot, and stared at the heating being. "Why are you doing this to Sayaka?" Madoka cried.
"Say-che!" Homura heartily bellowed, kicking Madoka in the vagina.
Homura woke up. "Game don't wait."
Kyubey thrust his beady eyes right up to Homura's eyes. "Welcome to NUDE WORLD. This is NUDE WORLD. You're nude in NUDE WORLD."
Homura threw the sheets off, suffocating Kyubey. She looked down, and indeed, her garments were no more. "Great! Great!" She waltzed out of her room with newfound confidence, holding her head high and thus not noticing that all of the other doctors and patients were fully clothed.
She flung the door wide, wrote her name very, very eloquently on the board, and took her seat. Finally she opened her eyes.
She was sitting directly across from Madoka. All of the other students were facing the opposite direction as Homura. She turned to find that she had written her name on the teacher's forehead instead of the board. None of them were the promised Nude.
Kyubey tugged at her shoulder. "You just got punk'd."
Madoka grabbed her other shoulder and spun her back round. "Kyubey, I'd like to make a contract, right now." She grabbed hold of exactly Homura's nipples. "My one wish is to motorboat these fine titties, right here, right now."
Homura slapped her forehead, and the camera zooms in as a funky bass line leads us into break.