She wouldn't come.
Oh yeah, Jurina knew it so well that she would not show up. Not a chance.
Jurina threw a glanced at her iPhone.
18.34.
That day was the Christmas party Jurina had prepared with tears and blood just for her girlfriend, and yet, 30 minutes had past and no sign of Rena. Where would the girl be was not to be questioned. She would not answer it, at least honestly, anyway.
Out of the blue, Jurina's phone rang, which made her jump out of surprise. The up tempo song Jurina set just for Rena didn't make her feel better for even one bit. It was time for her to give confirmation after all.
Jurina breathed deeply. She knew what to come. Something she hoped she didn't.
She opened the message. It was Rena. Of course it was.
Nothing surprised her there.
Everything was predictable.
'Jurina, I'm really sorry. I can't make it to the party. I have some business I can't leave. Say hello to the others for me okay?
I'm sorry. I'll make up for it next time.
Have fun.
I love you. :)
xxx'
Jurina had to hold the urge to throw the phone so far and full with force until it got destroyed so that she couldn't see it for her entire life. Gladly, she managed to detain her anger with just clenching her fist.
All the surprises Jurina had prepared for Rena had turned to waste. She even did the trouble to convince her classmate to help her. She wanted it to be perfect. She wanted Rena to be happy. And now it was all useless.
Jurina started laughing bitterly. She felt pathetic. She was the stupid clown. She knew it would happen and yet she pushed all her way in.
It was not the first time Rena canceled their appointment. At their first date at the amusement park, Jurina went home drenched in rain after waiting for Rena for hours. At Jurina's birthday party, she was left dumbfounded as the MC called Rena as her girlfriend but no one came to the stage. At a dinner with Jurina's parent, she must explain it in a thousand and one kind of lies so that her parents didn't see Rena as a jerk.
Excuse. Excuse and excuses.
The phrase of 'I've some business I can't leave' had sipped into Jurina's mind that she didn't have to read Rena's message to know what the content was. What is this 'important business' anyway?
They once had a big fight over this. But again, Jurina was too madly in love with her that she would forgive everything she did. However, it was too much.
This time Jurina was too tired to take in her excuse. The girl had disappointed her way too often. Maybe they should break up. Maybe. But Jurina realized in heart, she wouldn't be able to.
"Jurina-chan, has Rena come yet?"
Yuria's head popped out from behind the wall Jurina had been leaning on.
"She won't come."
Jurina perceived it as a true fact and yet to say it with her own mouth had her heart suffered an utterly painful damage.
"Eeee? Why? Even though you had prepared all this things."
Yuria pouted. She was right. The giant box where a clown (let's say it was Jurina) would pop up, the christmas cake she especially ordered for her, her favourite indie band that Jurina asked—with quite a struggle—to play at the party. Rena wouldn't even recognize that Jurina was trying to repair their frozen relationship. Moreover, Jurina had no idea how she should face her classmates after this.
"I'm sorry Yuria. Even after I dragged all of you to this." Jurina muttered, guilty feeling and furiousness engulfed her senses.
"It's okay. But are you alright?" Yuria replied her with eyes full of concern.
"I'm alright. I think I'll go home. After I tell the others of course." Jurina put on her biker jacket, the faster she disappeared from the venue the better.
"I can tell them for you if you want." Yuria offered her, which nice of her but Jurina need to tell them herself.
"It's alright. I should tell them myself."
Jurina let out a weak smile. Here comes the hard part.
It was surprisingly not as bad as she thought it would be. Her classmates accepted to understand and even cheered for her. At least, one big chunk of worry had been lifted off Jurina's shoulder. At least she would not have to face glares when she met them after New Year's holiday.
After excusing herself from the crowd, Jurina left for home. She wouldn't worry about Rena and her excuses. She would just forget it for now. Let the time tell what she should do.
Jurina was about to ride her motorcycle (beside the fact she was underaged she rode one, yes) when she felt a light tap on her shoulder. She was alerted. There were kidnapping, raping and such lately. It became dangerous at night. And whoever it was that stood behind her, Jurina couldn't think it was good news. She considered shouting but the person beat her to it.
"Hey. I'm sorry I surprised you. Are you Matsui Jurina?"
Jurina turned around and her eyes met a girl in her early twenties. Nothing suspicious about the girl beside her bad sense of fashion. Maybe she was not a bad guy. But appearance sometimes deceiving.
"Yes, I am. Who are you?"
The girl's expression turned bitter. Jurina wondered whether she said something wrong or something else was the matter.
"I'm Matsui Rena's older sister. You're her girlfriend right?"
Rena did mention about her having an older sister, but she never got a chance to meet her before. Then she suddenly appeared before her eyes. What business she got with her at this time of night anyway? Anything about Rena wouldn't make her night turned better.
"Yes. Why are you here?"
She stayed silent. Jurina considered to shout for help. The woman was indeed not really convincing.
"You need to go to the hospital. Now."
"Wait, why? Something happened to Rena?"
Jurina's heartbeats beat faster. Worries slowly overwhelmed her. If something did happen, she would not forgive herself for cursing at her.
She let out a small sigh before continuing, her expression was still as gloomy as the night. "You really didn't know then? My stupid sister is going in an operation. With 50-50 chance nonetheless. She is sick, no, she is dying. And yet, she keeps being stubborn. She doesn't want you to know. Even though I told her to tell you."
She finished her sentences with another long breath. Meanwhile, the words began to kicked into Jurina's mind.
All the world around Jurina seemed to sink. Sick? Jurina never knows. She did, when her certain girlfriend was laying helplessly on an operation bed.
"But..."
She turned speechless. Too many questions popped up in her mind at once but none she could speak off.
Jurina wondered how long had Rena been sick. It hit her, what was Rena's 'important business'. Her excuses, after all, were the one and only one thing. And Jurina was too dumb to even realize. Rena didn't tell her, yes. But, that was only an excuse. She must have noticed Rena's pale face—despite her usual pale complexion—and her who get tired much easier lately. She was too concerned at her excuse than her condition. She should have known, she should have noticed. But again, that was Jurina's excuse.
"Where is she?"
"Tokyo National Hosp-"
Jurina left the rest of the words hanging. She put on her helmet, and then stomped on the accelerator as hard as she could, left Rena's sister stunned.
Jurina needed to clear their misunderstanding. And she would do it fast. No more excuse.