Author's Notes: Spoilers for the season four finale, "On the Road Again." Who else was ready to cry after that episode?
Disclaimer: This stuff isn't mine.
Flowers
It was a sunny day. The sky was bright blue with no clouds in sight. Birds chirped and flowers were in full bloom; it was as if the world was happy today. Kitty thought it was ironic, cruel. Pathetic fallacy be damned. How could this be a good day? How could it be such a bright day? How could flowers be so vibrant and beautiful when Robert's funeral would be upon them in a mere thirty minutes?
Kitty was angry. During the immediate days after Robert's death, she'd been numb. She felt had nothing and drifted through life as if it had become meaningless. She had gone through her everyday routine impassively. She had been numb, emotionless, feeling nothing. But now she was angry. She wanted to scream. She wanted to scream and rage about the injustice of all of this.
It wasn't fair. She had and Robert had been through so much together – failed pregnancies, the adoption, his heart attack, their drifting apart from one another. But they had survived all of that. They had survived despite those odds and revitalized their relationship. She was in love with him all over again and then he had been taken from her.
And Evan. Her baby boy needed his father. Who would teach him how to play baseball, tutor him in math, and be there for him when he needed a male role model in his life? Sure, she had three brothers and an uncle, but that wasn't the same. She wanted Even to have his father, to have Robert in his life. It really wasn't fair.
She wanted to scream, cry at the injustice of it all. Robert had certainly gone prematurely. There was so much potential for the things he could have done if he had lived. He would have continued to be a wonderful father, a diligent politician, and a loyal friend. But he was gone now. He was gone, away from her, from Evan, from Jason, from Sophie and Jack, from everyone. The thought the he was gone kept running through Kitty's head again and again, and she felt as if she were drowning.
She felt so much pain. It was as if her heart was making up for the lack of emotion, the nothingness that it had felt before. The fact that Robert was gone hit her, again and again, and she exhaled sharply. Tears began to cascade down her cheeks, and she wished futilely that this was all some horrible nightmare that she would soon wake up from.
But it wasn't. This was real. The minutes were ticking by and soon Robert's funeral would begin. Her lover, her husband, her first confidant and best friend was lying in a casket, lifeless. It was real. He was gone, dead. She was a widow.
She entered the church, and noticed that one of the flowers in the vestibule was wilted. It wasn't vibrant and full of life; it was dead. It was ugly. And Kitty reflected on the fact that something about this day was finally accurate.
RIP Robert.