Barely anyone would know what it felt like from my perspective. It's like seeing something about to happen…something terrifying. Something that would keep you up every night as you played it over and over in your head, seeing every gritty and mind numbing detail. It's like walking on the sidewalk and seeing a car crash into another…see the glass spray like ocean mist across the asphalt. Or maybe watching in frozen fear as a pedestrian desperately tries to revive a choking person on the dirty cement floor of an out door café.

You want to reach out and help, but your limbs are frozen, like they are super glued and you would need to tear yourself apart just to move. Your skin in thin ice, like if you'd flex your finger you would shatter. Yet, you wish so badly you didn't have these things holding you back so you could at least try to help. But…you can't. That's what it feels like.

The room jilted like I was being thrown into some alter universe. Maybe it was hell. I couldn't be sure. Hadn't it been just a second ago that he was standing by me, and we were both smiling at Bella? It was only seconds ago…maybe this wasn't even happening. Maybe if I could only move to blink without shattering my whole body, it would vanish. When I realized that this was harsh reality, I only wanted to rip out my eyeballs even if it was the worst imaginable pain. I would do it gladly.

I wanted to close my eyes, but I couldn't even do that. If I could have, I wouldn't have terrible images printed in my mind…reviewing them every time I blinked.

This was impossible, wasn't it? He'd just been by me…just a few moments ago! He was completely fine. I remember whispering to him, "Doing okay?" and he smiled down at me in response. I'd gazed at his face, taking in his beauty…his familiar angelic beauty. His eyes were shimmering gold in the candlelight, and he smiled just enough to show his perfect teeth, and his smooth cheeks and furrowed into dimple slits. His lips turned in such a friendly grin, and remember thinking, "He must be approachable to humans by now." The thought of my mind working like that was like pouring lemon juice on a gaping cut.

I'd raised my hand when no one was looking to brush a stray tendril from Jasper's face, feeling his marble smooth skin and impossibly soft hair. He closed his eyes at my touch, and I could see the permanent bruises beneath his eyes. I remember wondering what he had looked like healthy and pink. Like a human. The smoothness of his eyelids reflected the golden glow of the burning candles and the scent of charred wick wafted through the air.

Bella announced she was going to open the next present, and we all smiled at our frail little human. The human we brought into our family and cherished as our own. I loved her as a sister…the opposite of Rosalie though I loved her, too. A sister that didn't remind me of her beauty…a sister that had to be reminded by me. She looked so tiny in the room full of my family, yet she stood out as she glowed in happiness and reddened with blush.

If only she hadn't used a singled finger to poke under the envelope and yank it so violently. She wasn't a vampire--she didn't have unscathable skin. I think she forgot that we weren't all as composed as Edward had trained himself to be. That must've been why she looked at the blood herself, in wonder and partial disgust, and simply muttered "shoot" instead of running out the door in fear. I'd like to believe we had actually made her comfortable enough to forget we were vampires. That had to be one of her downfalls that night. Because as she stood there, unmoving, I watched Jasper's angelic face change, and it was the worst thing I'd ever seen.

I'd been in an asylum, seen shock therapies and a couple acquaintances get thrown around by the wards. This was nothing compared to the horror I felt while watching Jasper's face wash with the same terror for a split second…then he became rabid.

He blinked his blackened-bruise colored eyelids once, and the kind gold was stained by onyx black, cruel and thirsty al of the sudden. It'd been leaning on the edge for so long, and it had found a crack in Jasper's wall he had labored over to keep it in. The monster pried it open and lunged...lunged at Bella. Jasper's smile wilted to open like a gape as he saw the beckoning crimson ooze from the soft lips of skin. I vaguely remember trying to grab Jasper's arm, and actually tearing the cloth and scratching his skin. After he left my side, I retreated to my torturous frozen state.

The hairs I had carefully and lovingly brushed from his brow seconds before fell over his face, and I caught a glimpse of his demonic face. His eyes pooled with thirst, and his perfect lips curled into a terrible grimace and his long arms stretched out. His fingers clenched as he readied himself to grasp Bella…lean towards her as a growl ripped through his throat…

My angel Jasper had been kidnapped by a monster he had spent his vampire life trying to shut out. A demon had possessed my love, and all I could do was watch as it was stopped.