Smash Library
The Smash Mansion was set back in the woods, away from any other civilizations, a place where stupidity could run freely as was common among the brawlers. Today was no exception.
In Smash room 5, Ike, the tall slender blue haired mercenary with cool blue eyes proceeded to make conversation with the more secluded dark haired mage.
"Soren?" Ike asked urgently.
The dark haired youth averted his gaze from the window, which happened to look out at the big oak tree in front of the mansion. "Hm?" he replied silently, wondering the cause of the urgency in his childhood friend's voice.
"I've noticed you've been bored out of your mind lately. I know its fun to watch me brawl and all, but I feel it might be torture to you by now," Ike chuckled lightly. "I wouldn't want that for you, Soren, so I was going to ask if you wanted to do something different today?"
Soren sighed heavily, "What is there for me to do, Ike? My interests differ from yours greatly in this world... Really, the only reason I'm here is you," he added, looking up at the bluenette.
"Well..." Ike thought for a moment. "There's the Smash library."
The spell caster's head snapped up and his crimson eyes narrowed. "This place has a library, and you've never mentioned it to me?"
"Sorry?" Ike said a little guilty that he had deprived his friend of such a precious thing. "I never go to the library; never even set foot in there."
"Of course you've never been... Can you even read?"
Before he could say another word, a wind tome hit him squarely in the chest.
Ike chuckled slightly from the mages weak attack. "I barely felt that. You didn't know I couldn't read well?" Ike asked, surprised. "You notice everything, Soren. My father didn't pursue my teaching as much as my mother did before she died. He always said a real man learns through hard core experience."
"That sounds like your father," Soren observed after retrieving his tome. "Take me to the library?" the request came more as a demand.
"Yes commander," Ike said sarcastically while descending the mansions steps.
Ike led Soren along the first floor of the Smash Mansion. The library was located at the very end of the hall, seeming to be a separate entity in itself. The hall looked dirty, but the great double doors leading into the library were incredibly clean and scripted with an assortment of foreign sayings.
"The library is basically brand new". Ike stated to Soren. "They just built it about two years ago. No one ever goes in it, although it's always encouraged. These idiots here don't know their dick from their head, so why would they know where the library is?" Ike said exasperated.
Soren nodded. "Thank you, Ike. Feel free to resume your training," the archsage replied, more than eager to disappear amidst the numerous books.
"Anytime Soren". Ike said commander-like. "I won't be back to check on you till after lunch. Will you be okay until then?"
The windmaster didn't reply. He had already disappeared into the unknown. Ike wasn't too concerned; he knew that Soren could fend for himself, and the library was all but deserted. Before he could give it too much thought, the light pitter-patter of sandled feet caught his attention.
"Ike! Ike!" called the soft, angelic voice of Ike's roommate, Pit. "Why are you down here in dark, Ike? I don't like you dark. You can spar with me now?"
The Angel had only been at the Stadium for about a week and he was still learning how to speak common. The bluenette found the cherub's harnessing of his native language to be a very endearing quality.
"Yes," Ike said, his eyes lingering a bit longer on the library doors. "I was just about to come get you after I dropped off Soren." Ike turned to finally look at Pit, gave him a quick hug and started down the hallway with him.
Soren kept to himself in the library, clearly at home among the many tomes. He grabbed as many as he could carry and sat down at a nearby table.
The Angel giggled and skipped at his side. "We can cut at each other and you can not hit me with your sword!" he offered happily.
The blue-haired mercenary chuckled. "I promise not to hit you, if you promise to block." The two made it out to the training fields, chose a ring, and began their match.
*****
(Sometime after lunch)
Mist grabbed Ike and Pit's dirty plates and set them into the sink to be washed. The Angel felt a disturbance in her energy and asked, "You are saddy?"
The girl chuckled and replied, "No, more concerned, really... Ike? Have you seen Soren today? He usually has lunch with me?"
"Um yeah. I took him down to the Smash library." Ike replied.
The brunette girl just stared at him for a long moment, before finally replying, "You let Soren go into a library?... Alone?"
"Yeah I did. He was bored and-"
"IKE!" she interrupted in her shrill, irritated voice. "I can't believe you released him into his natural habitat! Now we'll NEVER get him out!"
"I guess you're right." Ike concluded. "He won't even come out to take a crap." He locked eyes with Mist. "It's serious."
Ike, Mist, and Pit exited room five and headed down the stairs into the long, dark hall. The library doors came into view just as a large explosion sounded. The double doors flew open, regurgitating a charred Metaknight. The blackened cream puff bounced off of the opposing wall and landed on the floor.
Fox, who happened to be walking by, stopped to examine the situation. "What the-"
He was cut off by the double doors slamming shut.
"MAGIC SHOW!" Pit cheered.
Ike looked toward the library's double doors. "Soren," he stated blatantly. Ike noticed the small crowd gathered around the doors entrance. "Excuse me," he said. "What are you idiots babbling about?"
"I swear he just shot out of there!" Fox called in reference to Metaknight.
"A likely story," Wolf grumbled.
"But who is in there?" Zelda asked. "The library's always deserted."
Link shrugged. "Maybe it's haunted."
"Woah woah woah!" Roy called, holding up his hands. "You're telling me that this mansion... has a LIBRARY?"
"Way to be outta the loop Roy," Ike commented. "So what do you all think is haunting the library? I'd like to hear your theories," he spat jokingly.
Marth rolled his eyes. "The library isn't haun-"
"I THINK IT'S A ZOMBIE!" Roy called.
"What?" Link asked, eyes narrowing at the red head. "No, maybe a witch... or a demon... I'm not so sure..."
"DEMON!" Pit shrieked, hiding behind Ike.
"No, Pit, there's no demon. And if there was - which there isn't - I would protect you," Ike said softly. "Everyone needs to listen to Marth, there are no demons, witches, or zom-"
"But there ARE!" Roy shouted, his eyes bulging and scanning the room at lightening speed.
"No," Yoshi interrupted, his voice dangerously low.
"Where did Yoshi come from?" Link asked. Ike shrugged.
"It's... a !" the dinosaur squeaked, scaring Pit even further.
Roy frowned. "That's stupid."
"Roy, your idea was stupid too," Ike said. "Pit, are you alright?" Ike leans down and puts an arm around him.
Pit nods his head a little and clings to Ike, still shaken by Yoshi's comment.
"Yoshi, vampires suck blood, not brains. I'm not sure what your smoking, but you need to stop," Ike advised.
"If vampires suck blood, then why is the vampire in the library?" the dinosaur asked.
Roy scowled, "Because it's a zombie, you idiot! It waits in there for the smart people so it can suck their brains!"
Link nodded, "Well, it looks like you two are safe... unless it's a witch, er... something."
"Perhaps it's a... ghost!" Luigi suggested timidly.
Lucario bowed his head in concentration. "I'm picking up a very strong energy... something... ancient... large... reptilian..."
Ike laughs to himself. "Whatever, you guys. I'm not going to waste my time down here anymore, when I could be eating some fried chicken. Pit, are you coming with me?"
"Yes! I want a chicken too!" the Angel chirped. "Do dragons eat chicken?"
"No," Roy called. "ZOMBIES DO!"
Marth sighed, "There are no zombies, no dragons, no ghost, no witches and no-"
"SPARKLY VAMPIRES!" Yoshi wailed, running out of the hallway in tears.
Metaknight was left on the floor.
Ike leaves with Pit to go get fried chicken, even though he just finished lunch. (Ike is such a ham)
The other brawlers are left to their own devices, which is not the smartest idea. Each member surrounding the library doors has completely forgotten about any brawl they were assigned that day, and have fully committed to finding out what barricades itself in the library.
"Roy, c'mon, you're wasting your time. There is nothing unusual in the library. It's probably just a mouse or something. You know how skittish Metaknight is when he see's one. He probably just overreacted, that or he's trying to get Pit to notice him again. Gah! what horrid memories," Marth explained.
Roy sighed. "Marth, have you ever noticed how BORING you are when you talk? Anyways, I'm going in there. Link, are you with me?"
"Nah, I have more important things to do... like scratch my butt... I don't know. This whole situation is pretty stupid," the Hylian replied, only to be yanked over to the double doors.
"See ya soon, Marth! If we find a zombie, I'm keeping it!" Roy called over his shoulder.
"Yeah sure. I bet your pale noble ass will be crying once you face plant onto the linoleum floor out here. Have fun being stupid Roy," Marth said sarcastically as he walked away.
Roy smiled, casually flipping his lover the bird before disappearing into the double doors. "See the zombie, Link?"
Link proceeded to scratch his butt. "Huh? Wha?" he mumbles turning to Roy.
Roy hushed the blonde and motioned him to follow by hand gestures. "Shhh... I hear something."
The two cautiously moved forward until they heard a soft noise behind them. Both froze instantly.
"HELLO NOBLE ROY AND HERO LINK!"
"Nyah!" Link screamed.
Pit bounced over to the two, having already eaten chicken with Ike, and smiled. "I can help you?" he asked, kneeling down between the two boys... "Your pants are most wet, Noble Roy."
Roy crossed his legs. "No, they aren't. You've just got a big imagination... C'mon."
Link collapsed into hysterics. "Ah, you pissed yourself, man. That just makes my day. Thanks Pit."
"KEEP IT DOWN!" an angry voice bellowed from the back of the library, causing Pit to hide behind the Hylian.
"It's the Zombie." Roy squeaked.
Link looked in the direction of the noise. "But if it's a zombie wouldn't it make a groaning noise like "Unnhhhhh"," he said putting his arms straight out in front to show both boys.
"UUUUUUGH!" the voice growled, and there was a loud snap as a book was slammed shut. A light flapping was heard, similar to Roy's cape billowing behind him.
Pit began to shake violently, clinging to Link.
"Zombie," Roy stated.
"It can't be a zombie, ROY!" Link yelled. "I'm going to be the hero and find out what IT is!" Link strutted off with his head held high, chest out, and his master sword in hand. "Come to your death, great creature," Link said as he rounded the bookcase.
"HU-AHHHHHHHH!" was the last that the remaining brawlers heard of their blonde companion.
Pit's eyes bulged and he squeaked in terror. He turned and bolted from the library, hoping to find Ike.
Roy watched Pit leave before turning around and coming face to face with the black-clad inhabitant of the library.
"Oh my Gods... IT'S SUMARA FROM 'THE RING'!"
"My seven days are up," Roy screamed as he bolted out and slammed into the other brawlers. "We're all gonna DIE!" "Iwatchedthevideoyesterdayand-"
Marth slapped his hand over the Noble's mouth. "I'm not renting any horror movies for you for a month," he stated, and walked away.
Roy nodded. "B-b-but, LINK! What about Link?" he spat.
"What about Link?" Marth asked, rather annoyed. A foul odor caught the Princes attention. "Do you smell urine?"
"Um...no," Roy said crossing his legs. "I don't smell anything."
Marth's eyes followed the boy's movements. "Go change your pants."
The red haired boy hung his head in embarrassment and shuffled off at his lover's request.
*****
Ike was outside in the garden with Mist when Pit approached him frantically.
"Itaslink!" Pit cried, rushing for the table. He collided into the back of Ike's chair with enough force to knock himself down.
Ike straightened up in his chair and helped the angel up with one arm. "Who has link, Pit?" Ike asked.
"The dragon! I felt its big BIG energy and it got Link! I heard Link screaming, and... and..."
"It's okay Pit," Ike soothed. "Why don't you just stay here with me and Mist? Let those dumbtards scare the crap outta themselves. We can go swim for a while or play in the arcade if you want?" he said dusting the dirt from the angel's wings.
"I would very like that!" the boy chirped, fluttering his wings.
"We need to have another lesson today on common," Ike said to Pit. "We can do that after dinner".
"Okie-dokey Ike!" the angel replied.
Together the pair disappeared into the mansion to go play Dance Dance Revolution, the angel's favorite game. Mist was left gazing at the large array of flowers.
*****
Evening came without a word from the Hero of Time. Roy was becoming concerned with each hour that passed... "Where's Link?" he demanded of Marth, who ignored him in the bathroom. The red head ran over and threw open the door. "I'm talking to you!"
"ROY!" Marth scolded, from his place on the toilet. "I need privacy!"
"It's not like I haven't seen you before," Roy replied matter of factly. "I know you aren't a true blue."
"OUT!" the prince called, angry at having his royal dump disturbed. He chucked a roll of toilet paper at the noble.
"Hey!" the red haired noble yelled as he was forced out of the stall. "Will you at least hurry up?" Roy asked, and mumbled something about an epic poop. "Link could be dead, and that means we'll never get to see him again."
"If you're so concerned, why don't you go rescue him yourself?"
"Maybe I will!" the boy retorted, storming out of the room, but not before opening the bathroom door out of spite. He chuckled and ran out.
At the prince's response, Roy set his sight on saving his blonde partner in crime. He went to every brawler's room for help. Most brawlers would be sleeping, and if awakened it would be grounds for hell.
The red-haired boy was able to get Toon Link, Kirby, Yoshi, Luigi, Sonic, Lucas, and Captain Falcon. His last stop was room 5.
Roy picked up some pebbles in his hand, and with some force threw them against the window hoping to catch Pit's attention. Roy knew better than to wake Ike, and added the mercenary wouldn't care about the Hylian anyways.
When the pebbles weren't enough, the boy used a brick, shattering the Angel's window.
"Noble Roy!" Pit called, after raising what was left of the window.
"C'mon, Pit! We need to go save Link!"
"Okay!" the Angel chirped and jumped out the open window, fixing his toga in place.
The team left the spot by room 5's window and journeyed back down the dark hall to the library's big double doors.
"HI," Kirby sang in his childish voice.
"Shhh!" Roy hushed. "You could ruin the mission".
"HI!" the puffball sang again.
"Uggh, someone shut him up," Roy demanded.
Pit picked the puffball up and cuddled him. "Quiet, Kirby."
As they quietly entered the double doors, a cool draft hit their face.
Luigi moaned in fear. "It's the presence of a ghost!" he warned.
Sonic shivered. "Or faulty air conditioning."
"It's the vampire's cold breath waiting tosuckourbrainsout!" Yoshi yelled.
"No, you crazy dinosaur, it's the zombie," Roy concluded.
"I'm going to beat it down with my awesome sword!" Toon link added puffing out his chest.
"With your plastic sword?" Lucas asked.
The two boys proceeded to fight while Captain Falcon watched.
Roy stealthily moved forward to where he last saw his friend. He found a large, cold object in between the bookcases. "Ugh, I hate modern art."
"I don't think that's art," Pit pointed out examining it closer. "My Goddess, it's Link!"
"Whoa..." Lucas said, psyched.
Roy tapped his frozen friend and chuckled. "It's a Link-sickle."
Captain Falcon examined the Hylian before winding up his fist. "Falcon... Pawnch!"
The ice quickly melted as Link clutched his stomach in pain.
Toon Link buckled over laughing. "Ha-he just-ha!"
"Shut up twerp," Link forced out.
"LINKY DINK!" Roy yelled and tackle hugged his friend before he could brace himself.
A low, annoyed growl caught the group's attention.
"Uh-oh," Link whispered.
"IT'S BACK!" Pit cried, holding Kirby close.
Roy grabbed his sword. "It's okay if you want to leave, Link. I can understand if you-"
The Hylian bolted in the direction of the noise.
"WHAT? You idiot! You just got UNfrozen! Why are you running TOWARDS the thing that froze you?" the noble demanded.
"Triforce of Courage!" came the reply from halfway across the library.
Roy snorted. "More like the Triforce of Stupid..."
The group stood immobile watching the spot where their Hylian friend stood moments before.
"Well, let's not just stand here," Roy shouted, and then bolted after Link.
Captain Falcon followed Roy, as did Sonic, Yoshi, Toon Link and Lucas. Pit left to get Ike with Kirby.
Seconds later, the brave group was crushed against the opposing wall of the library. Charred, but alive, the group fell to the ground.
"Owww," Roy whined. "What was that?" his question came choked.
Sonic twitched. "I donno, but its eyes bore into my soul!"
Lucas coughed. "It must have been a dragon. Dragons breathe fire, right?"
Link mumbled, "Dumb thing froze me."
"Returning to my Zombie Theory-"
The group sighed.
As the group listened to Roy's zombie theory, Pit went with Kirby to go find Ike and tell him of the night's events.
(Room 5 door opens)
"Pit! There you are, I was worried about you!" Ike said while closing the gap between them. "I woke, and found the window shattered, and you were missing from your bed. You know what Master hand would say if I lost you," he continued while hugging the angel.
Pit smiled and set Kirby down to hug Ike. "The dragon froze Link, Ike! He was like Link only made of ice, but he was IN the ice!"
"Well it only figures," Ike replied. "Link is loud, when he talks that is, and the library is a quiet place. What are the other brawlers doing?
"The dragon made them explode like pop rocks!" Pit replied.
"Lovely. Why don't you stay here and get some rest. I don't mind if Kirby wants to stay, but I'm not letting you go back down there. You were lucky not to get hurt this time. I need you to be safe." Ike hugs Pit one last time and crawls into his own bed.
Pit and Kirby get into Pit's bed.
"Goodnight Pit, goodnight Kirby," Ike says before face planting into the pillow.
"HI!" came Kirby's response.
"Good in night, Ike. Your dreams will be sweet," the Angel encouraged, snuggling into his own pillow.
*****
Marth was roused by the sound of the bedroom door being flung open. The smell of charred flesh and burnt hair filled the room. "Roy!" the prince grumbled, covering his head with the pillow.
"It was HORRIBLE! It just came out of the shadows and-"
"You smell, go shower!"
"You always say I smell," Roy whined loudly. "Why can't you tell me you love me and then I smell?"
"I will after you shower. Now, GO SHOWER! PLEASE!" The prince rolled over and covered his head.
"Fine!" Roy whined and proceeded to take a shower.
*****
The following morning came all too soon as it always did at the Smash mansion. In room 5 Mist was already up, dressed for the day and making breakfast for the room's inhabitants.
"Mornin," Ike yawned sitting down at the table.
"Good morning, big brother," Mist replied, setting a plate in front of him.
"Thanks," Ike said and began eating.
"The morning is good," Pit stated, rubbing his eyes as he entered the kitchen. Mist gave him breakfast and he commented, "I am most grateful!"
"Ike," Mist began, worried. "Soren never came back last night... I'm concerned."
"Oh, well that doesn't surprise me," Ike commented. "No need to worry Mist, he still must be in the library." Ike laughed. "He could live in there if he wanted to. My only concern is that he hasn't eaten, slept or probably relieved himself all night."
"And he won't any time soon... Ike, he's going to die, you need to go get him!" Mist pleaded.
"I think that's exaggerating it a bit Mist, but all the same I'll get him," Ike said. "Pit are you coming?" Ike asked.
"You bet!" Pit said happily. "I miss Soren."
"Okay then, get ready and we'll go," Ike said.
It didn't take long before Ike, Pit, and Kirby reached the library doors.
Outside was a massive offering of gold and jewels. As Ike approached it, Link snapped, "Stop! It's bait for the dragon!"
"Are you serious," Ike asked in a put out tone.
"Yep!" Roy answered, piling more jewels to the heap. "It was Link's idea, and I couldn't come up with anything better."
"I told them they're wasting their time," Marth said leaning against the opposite wall.
"Oh! The dragon will like this," Roy said enthusiastically taking off Marth's crown.
"ROY! Give that back," Marth demanded angrily.
"No, if I give it back, the dragon might eat me," Roy replied terrified.
"I'm fine with that," Marth said.
Roy narrowed his eyes, "You're just jealous!"
"Why would I be jealous?" Marth asked.
"Because we're going to slay a dragon and become heroes all over again!"
"As if," Marth scoffed.
"You all are idiots if you ask me," Ike stated pushing past the small party and entering the library.
"What's he doing?" Link asked, scared to stick his head too far into the library.
Roy eyes widened. "He's gonna try to slay the dragon!"
Ike walked into the library with Pit and headed towards the back. "Soren?" Ike's voice rang out.
The Angel stopped by the spell caster and smiled. "Found you!" he declared his finger only an inch from the branded's head.
"Indeed," the mage nodded.
"You are lucky, Soren," the cherub declared.
"How so?"
"The dragon has not yet attacked you," the archer replied, looking over his shoulder to check for the feared beast.
"Hm... Lucky me."
"Yes, be ever on your guard."
Ike laughed. "You're the feared beast Soren, as I'm sure you're aware of. You've only been the cause of the mayhem." Ike looked Soren in the eyes. "I can't see how you can stay in here all night. You skipped out on food, sleep, and everything else!"
"Mmmm-hmmm," Soren replied, too interested in his book to listen.
"And like I thought, you wouldn't care," Ike said knowingly. "Well I thought I wouldn't have to do this, but I'm kicking you out of the library, Soren. For your own benefit that is."
Soren continued to not hear the bluenette's words. He was deeply lost in his own world... that and he was about to pass out from exhaustion.
"Pit make sure he doesn't fall okay?" Ike said as he hoisted Soren up over his back. "Sorry it came to this," Ike told Soren while walking out of the library with him.
"Get him out, quickly," Pit whispered, "Before the dragon comes."
Soren passed out on Ike's shoulder.
A large crowd had now gathered outside the library concerned for Ike and Pit's safety.
Ike emerged through the doors and looked around. "Dumb asses," he concluded.
"IKE!" Captain Falcon called.
"He slayed the dragon!" Luigi noted.
"AND RESCUED THE PRINCESS!" Yoshi cheered.
Lucario sighed. "The being on Ike's shoulder radiates the same energy of the being I warned you of."
Lucas frowned. "Um... Lucario... that doesn't look like a dragon..."
The honorable Pokémon face palmed.
Link sighed, "At least it's over."
"I KNEW IT WAS A ZOMBIE!" Roy cheered while Pit collected the many shiny objects piled in the middle of the hallway.
"Pretty," he said, putting on Marth's tiara.
"Idiocy," Soren mumbled into Ike's shoulder.
(The End)