Summary: Lavender and Parvati find a strange bunny on Hogwarts grounds that makes all kinds of mad-cap schemes come true. When they realize what is creating the chaos, they call in the one person they know they can count on...Professor Trelawny. Will the Divination professor, Lavender and Parvati be able to save the school? Expect to see Mary Sue babysitting kids!Snape, Dumbledore, and McGonagall, Loving Harry and has no idea why!Draco, The Next Dark Lord! Hermione, and of course, Player!Neville.

Disclaimer (taken right of FA): This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: Thanks to Avira, Wordpainter and Sharara who beta-d this for me and thank loads of hugs to Arielle, a Slytherin who gave this plot bunny up for adoption. Please review and tell what you liked, disliked, ways I can improve, what you'd like to see, and any other thing that strikes your fancy. The story starts a bit slow, but it will pick up.

~~~~

HARRY POTTER AND THE RABID PLOT BUNNY

"Jerry, are you sure we got all of them?" A man asked his partner, throwing his net into the green van parked nearby.


"I'm positive, Tom," Jerry replied. "We did a good day's work for the Ministry. There's nothing to worry about."

Tom shuddered. "Imagine what would happen to the Magical World if creatures like those--" he pointed to the truck--"were loose?"

"Well, that's why we're here. I doubt there are any more around these parts. It sure is nice of Dumbledore to keep the students out of the Forbidden Forest while we work. Heck, some of the creatures residing here haven't been seen here for a very long time. It would be hard to mistake one of these beasts for a docile animal." Tom rubbed his hands. "Now, come on. I heard that ice cream store in Hogsmeade just started a new flavour. Let's go grab a bite."


"If you're sure, Tom-"

"Of course I'm sure. Let's drop these beasts off and go."

The two man drove off, neither of them realizing that a pair of curious eyes watched them disappear.

~~~~~

"I wish Professor Grubby Plank was still here," Parvati Patil muttered to her fellow Gryffindor and friend, Lavender Brown, as she rubbed a gloved hand over a burn on her arm. "These gloves are ruined." She stared at her gloves she and her friend had just bought in order to be prepared for their Care of Magical Creature classes.

"I know what you mean," Lavender replied. "I can't believe Hagrid brought back those Blast Ended Skrewts." She tugged at her burnt tresses, ignoring the slime that trailed into her hair from her gloves. "You know what's so sad? Care of Magical Creatures is actually looking appealing to me. At least with Hagrid's creatures when they burn, sting, or ooze on you, you feel something. My life is so mundane right now," she groaned.

The girls trudged on towards the castle, past the Forbidden Forest when Parvati suddenly balked. A small fluffy rabbit had caught her attention. "Oh, look at the cutie!" Both girls knelt, petting the creature. The rabbit twitched its nose and stared at the girls with its big blue eyes. The friends cooed.

"Poor thing, sitting out here all alone. Do you think I could keep the bunny?" Lavender asked Parvati who nodded. "After fourth year when my rabbit died, I never had a pet."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that now," Parvati said. "What are you going to name him?"

" I think I'll name him... Bootsy."

"That's so sweet!"

"Bunnies should be easy to take care of, right?"

"Well, he couldn't be more trouble than Neville's toad, in any case!" The girls laughed and the rabbit shivered. "Ooo ... it's cold. Let's go inside. We have to get our books for Potions anyway."

Lavender picked up the animal, and hoisted it into the book bag. She quickly slung it over her shoulder and the girls ran inside.

Bootsy's nose quivered excitedly.

~~~~~
"Mr. Longbottom," Professor Snape sneered, leaning towards the boy. "Please share with the rest of the class, the ingredients you so casually threw into your pathetic potion."


Neville gulped. "Er . . . I . . . I put in two drops of dragon blood, then a quart of boom slang, and half a unicorn hair after that. I followed everything on the list, Sir. I really don't know why my potion is purple when everyone else's is green." He gulped again and backed away as Snape edged closer.

Neville glanced at Dean Thomas with despair, but the black boy could do nothing but shrug.

Sorry, mate, Dean mouthed. Neville whimpered.

"Longbottom. I've told you many times, but obviously nothing is getting through that skull of yours. The hair goes in before the blood. Are you to thick too understand such a simple concept? Is there nothing between those ears?"

As he spoke, Neville continued to edge away, but he had backed up too far. The boy bumped into a table behind him and knocked over a jar of bat wings into a nearby cauldron. The cauldron gurgled, and the Slytherin to whom the cauldron belonged to glared at the Gryffindor.

"Oops," Neville weakly said as the contents inside the cauldron changed from green to a brilliant shade of yellow.

BOOM!

"You clumsy fool!" Snape hissed, wiping the yellow mixture from his face. His face darkened as he looked around his dungeon. The normally dismal dungeons, and all its occupants, had been bathed in yellow goo. "Fifty points from Gryffindor, Longbottom! With the forty taken because of Ms. Patil's and Ms. Brown's appalling lack of judgment in bringing a pet into class, which then proceeded to bite me, Gryffindor has lost an amazing total of ninety points. If I were you, I wouldn't be too eager to talk to the other members of you house, Longbottom. Now, get out of here! Class dismissed!"

Neville quickly scuttled out of the room, with the other students right behind him. Snape, made his way back to his desk, stiffly. "Potter, you shall remain and help clean this room."

Harry stared at the teacher. " What? Why? I didn't do anything!"

"Exactly," the enraged professor said through clenched jaws, extracting a rag and cleansing fluid. "You were near Longbottom and yet did nothing to help him. I suppose you were trying to raise your status in my book. Well, it didn't work. Rest assured, nothing would." He banged the items on the table, turned, and disappeared into an adjacent room.

Harry stared after him. "Slimy git," he muttered, kicking the desk closest to him.

"POTTER!"

Harry turned to his friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, who stood at the door. "I'll see you guys later."He went after Snape. Ron and Hermione exchanged a look and left the dungeon.

Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson stood outside, obviously waiting for them.

"Longbottom's an idiot. Didn't I tell you that Pansy?" Draco asked his girlfriend, pretending that he didn't see the people who had just come outside the room.

"You did. Longbottom just proves that certain people shouldn't be allowed into school. If he, a supposed Pureblood, can't do magic properly, what hope could Mudbloods actually have?" She grinned and Draco slipped an arm around Pansy's waist.

Ron frowned. "No one cares what you think, so go take your damn ideas somewhere else."

Draco scowled and pulled out his wand. " I bet you would, Weasel, if someone paid you. You would do anything for money."

"Watch what you say, Malfoy," Hermione interjected, brandishing her own wand. "You wouldn't want to be turned into a ferret like in fourth year...or do you want to take a trip down Memory Lane?" Pansy raised an eyebrow, and her hand tightened around her wand. Raising it, she opened her mouth to utter a hex, but froze as Professor McGonagall appeared from a corner.

"What are you doing?" McGonagall asked suspiciously. She received no answer. "Dinner is in a few minutes. Drop your things off in your Common Rooms and get to the Great Hall." She glanced at the students again, then walked away. The four teenagers hostilely stared at each other.

"Let's go, Draco," Pansy stated tugging at her boyfriend's arm. The two stalked away and Ron and Hermione walked towards their own common room.

"Piggles" Ron said to the Fat Lady, and the two climbed in, only to be met by a large crowd in front of the fireplace. They tried to push their way through the throng without success.

"What's going on?" Ron asked trying to peer over the heads of other students. "Ginny, why is everyone crowding around here?"

"Lavender found a rabbit outside and decided to adopt him as her pet," his sister informed him. "His name is Bootsy."

Hermione grimaced. "Leave it to Lavender to call her pet Bootsy."

"Aw, come on Hermione. I've touched Bootsy three times now. Granted, it was his back since other kids kept pushing me. Even though he's prone to nipping your fingers, there's something about that bunny that just makes you all comfy inside. If any of you see Neville, tell him that Parvati and Lavender want him to hold Bootsy. They say the rabbit will make Neville feel better." Ginny patted her stomach which growled loudly. "I'm going to the Great Hall. If you don't see him, maybe he'll be at dinner. The girls are planning on bringing Bootsy down, anyway, so Padma can see him." She waved and left the room, followed by a stream of other hungry Gryffindors.

~~~

Hermione stared at the amount of students who stopped by the Gryffindor table to shower attention and admiration on Bootsy. It did not make sense. She turned to Seamus Finnegan who was watching the throng with amusement.

"I don't get understand. It's just a rabbit! Why are they making such a big deal? You didn't see anyone make such a huge fuss when I started S.P.E.W.! The rights of elves are much more important than talking about how cute Bootsy's ears are."


A nearby Hufflepuff, cuddling Bootsy, turned to the seventh year girl. "Bootsy's really sweet. I bet you haven't even petted him, and you're already passing judgment. Both McGonagall and Dumbledore love him, and Bootsy even bit them. All Dumbledore did was laugh." She gestured to the Headmaster who was talking jovially to Flitwick, the Charms professor. Seamus quickly turned his laughter into a cough as Hermione turned back to him, her eyes flashing. Ron glanced up from his plate and back down, happily ignoring what was going around him, in hope of getting another helping of rice pudding.

"That's right Annie," Lavender told the Hufflepuff. Annie blushed in pleasure. Lavender turned back to the other girl. "Hermione, are you scared of a little rabbit? Is that the reason why you're so against Bootsy? Come pet him. He can be a bit frisky, but I promise nothing bad will happen to you --"

"Um, Lavender," Parvati interjected. "Where's Bootsy?"

Lavender spun around, eyes searching frantically. "Bootsy? Where is he?" she asked three second year Ravenclaws. They shook their heads. "Well, help me find him!" she snapped. The group scattered.

Meanwhile, Bootsy was having a lovely evening hopping around the Great Hall. He had been a bit nervous at first, with all the attention that had been lavished upon him, but it had turned out to be rather fun. Such a shame that by the time he was through with the school, it wouldn't be nearly as entertaining. Oh well.

When duty calls, duty calls.

He wiggled his ears as he stared at a blond boy who had an air of class and power. Bootsy
jumped closer to the boy, listening to a brown haired girl talk to him.

"Drabear," the girl said, "don't let Potter and his friends get to you. This is our last year at Hogwarts. Once school ends, you'll never have to see him again."

Bootsy wandered under the Slytherin table, settling near Drabear's feet."You're right Pansy."

"Of course I am, Draco."

Bootsy suddenly clamped down on Draco's leg.

"ARGH! Get it off! Get it off!" the boy yelled, closing his eyes in pain.

"Draco! What? What?" Pansy shrieked back. Ignoring the girl, Draco peered under the table as the rabbit turned towards Pansy.

"Stupid thing," his muffled voice could be heard saying. "It's that creature Patil and Brown keep carrying around." He was about to grab the animal when Annie appeared and snatched Bootsy from him. She walked away, eagerly planning to give Bootsy back to Lavender. Draco decided to ignore the obvious lack of respect and began examining his leg for any damage. Satisfied, and a little disappointed that he wouldn't have a reason to sue the school, he stood up and the first person he saw was Harry Potter coming back from cleaning. Draco groaned in disgust as he climbed back into his chair and Pansy patted his hand comfortingly.

~~~~~

Later that night, after lights out, Neville snuck inside the Gryffindor common room after spending hours circling the school grounds, alone, and lowered himself onto the couch.

"Why is Snape such a git?" Neville muttered. "He's had it in for me since first year. Why can't -- why is there a rabbit in here?" Bootsy hopped into Neville's lap, snuggling closer. The boy ran a hand through the soft fur. "Anytime Trevor disappears, he usually hiding with another creature, so I know every pet in this tower, but I don't know you." He stroked Bootsy and the bunny playfully nipped Neville's finger. "Oh, well. You must belong to someone." Rubbing his eyes wearily, Neville gently placed the rabbit in front of the fireplace, and climbed up the steps to his dorm.


~~~

While some pupils and professors slept soundly, other students and teachers, in their respective rooms, tossed and turned, sweat pouring down their faces. Deep in their sleep, no one noticed the eerie light that exuded from some of the people. It began to rain outside. The wind howled and thunder boomed.

Bootsy's eyes flashed.