A most pressing matter…

Diglett is a good pal. He has friends with many other Pokemon in the cave.

Diglett is usually found digging great big holes and putting things inside them.

The other day he stole a necklace from a person named Mr. Fuji. Diglett hid the priceless relic in one of his holes.

Then Mr. Fuji came to search for his necklace. He found Diglett and got rather angry at the Pokemon.

Mr. Fuji called upon the powers of his mighty Machoke to Karate Chop the crud out of Diglett.

Diglett was injured beyond repair and now had to use an assortment of gardening tools to dig his holes with.

Mr. Fuji saw Diglett digging more holes in his garden. Diglett wanted to dig holes because it was fun for him.

Mr. Fuji was enraged though. He used a laser to shoot Diglett and Diglett exploded into a hundred mushy brown pieces.

Mr. Fuji took the Diglett residue and constructed a fine bowl of soup from it. He named the soup "Florence" after his favourite Beatle.

Then Heracross flew through the window and shot his nose in the air like this. Mr. Fuji caught on fire and his seven toes expired.

Heracross retrieved the bowl of Diglett soup and put magic potions within. The soup was reborn.

Diglett was alive again and now believed in hearts and truth. He used his own nose to smell flowers.

Heracross smiled and put on his boogie shoes.

Diglett was needing of boogie shoes, but had no known feet. Therefore the parabolic equation is derived by the y-axis.

Then perfection stirred in the heavens. Arceus rained so much toad down on the land. The toad was big and valuable like Squilliam Fancyson from band class.

Then Diglett saw the delicious rain of toad and swallowed it all whole. He now had utter fatness and was of good fortune.

He entered the lottery and received a free case of shampoo. He put the shampoo on Mr. Fuji's dumb head and then sang the Pig Rap.

This is where the story gets to its core. The land was smoldering and death abounded in all corners of the galaxy. It's a good thing Starlord the Cacturne was here.

He was gonna come to Diglett's surprise party.

That was the truth.

And in the darkness lies the truth.

Spaghetti is wisdom.

Diglett is a good Pokemon, yet it is not as hot as Brock.

And that's when I realised my favourite chili had long since become a supporter of Absol rights.

This is when Diglett unlocked his true potential and blasted a hole in the sun using his natural plasma vision. The sun had melted and Solgaleo cried great weepy tears of feline accents.

Then Diglett found a Hippopotas. The two enjoyed dirt so much that they wed and had seven thousand children each named Henry.

The glorious end

Don't talk to Solgaleo or his sun again