Chapter One

Author's Note: This was a fic that was inspired by an idea a fellow fan and close friend of mine had. He suggested that it might be fun to have Tristan join a theatre group solely to get close to some girl and for him to rope Siegfried into it as well.

Time-line wise, this takes place a few weeks after Ways and Means (Episode 2.11).

Oh and a cookie to everyone who can spot all the references I make to Robert Hardy's acting career. XD

"Really, Tristan, is there any depth that you won't sink to?"

"And what's that supposed to mean? Because, I'd hardly call joining the local theatre troupe an exercise in, what is it you'd call it? Ah yes, I believe profligacy and debauchery are your favorite words for anything I do outside of work and swotting."

Siegfried gave his younger brother a knowing smirk. "It's not your choice of artistic pursuits that I question, dear brother. It's your motives that are suspect. Or did you really think that I didn't know that that girl, what's her name, Sally Hancock, also has a part in this production? Or that she just happens to be your current infatuation?"

Tristan rolled his eyes and took another long pull on his Woodbine. "Well, all right, what if she is? She's a very attractive girl. And she's told me more than once that she had always wanted a chance to appear onstage. This play that Nathan Parker and his sister Janice are putting on is the perfect opportunity for her. So I wanted to help her out is all."

"And your idea of helping out is finagling your way into the production," Siegfried replied. "And going after not just any part, oh no. You just happened to choose the one that involves your character having more than one romantic scene, including a passionate kissing scene in the third act."

Tristan's eyebrows scrunched together. "Wait, how did you know that?"

"Because, Tristan, I glanced over the script which you left behind in the surgery. The fact that you had marked all the pages where those love scenes appear made your intentions painfully obvious."

"Oh, so you read it then," Tristan said with a grin. "What did you think of it?"

Siegfried shrugged his shoulders. "Overall, a passable, but occasionally inspired first effort. There are some rather obvious moments of pastiche from Hamlet. And I did detect some influences from Shaw in the phrasing of some of the lines. Mind you, there were some rather insipid scenes, but I suppose there is still some potential if the right actors are chosen to fill the parts."

"I had hoped you'd say that," Tristan said, his grin growing. "Because I sort of guaranteed them that you'd play the part of the tyrannical business owner who practically runs the village if they gave me the part I wanted."

Siegfried smug look immediately twisted into a scowl. "You what?!" His eyes narrowed at his younger brother. "And what exactly made you believe that I would be inclined to participate in your little charade, Tristan?"

Tristan rolled his eyes again. "Oh come off it, Siegfried, it's a damn good part. Probably the best one in the whole play. And you're not fooling me, you know. You've been looking for an opportunity to prove yourself ever since old Mr. Clark booted you from his production of Henry the Fifth a few years ago."

"A travesty and a sham," Siegfried grumbled. "A petty move on his part. And all because I merely suggested that a more traditional reading of the Bard's work would be appropriate given the austere production he was putting on."

"Yes, yes, but now you've got a chance to get back at him, don't you?" Tristan said before taking another puff. "By showing how good you can be in this play."

The smirk returned to Siegfried's face. "If you think you can beguile me into assisting you in your sorted machinations with that girl, you are in for a grave disappointment, little brother."

Then he walked over to the table and picked up the discarded script that was lying there. "Still…I suppose it would be unfortunate to disappoint the Parkers after they had already been given assurances of our participation. And of course, it's important that we as a practice get involved with the community whenever we can."

"Oh yes," Tristan said, nodding emphatically. "Helen has already offered to help with the props and Mrs. Hall will be helping with some of the lunches for the rehearsals."

"And James?"

"Well, James offered to hold the fort for us," Tristan said before taking another long drag on his cigarette. "I mean, we have to have someone to mind the store on opening night."

"That's true," Siegfried said, tapping his chin with his index finger. Then he straightened and held up the script. "Then it's settled. Yes, we shall do our parts to bring some additional culture to our corner of the Dales. A night on the stage will be just the thing for both of us."

"Right," Tristan said, his grin widening.

Siegfried responded with a smile of his own and pulled out his glasses to scan the play again while Tristan let out a muffled sigh of relief. Throughout the day, his mind had been frantically searching for an explanation to why Nathan Parker thought Siegfried would be ideal to play the part of a tyrant…and to think of a way to conceal the fact that he had been the one to suggest it to the Parkers in the first place. Thankfully, Siegfried didn't appear to notice this fact or if he did, he hadn't made any sort of unwanted connection.

While watching his brother read through the play again, Tristan took in another lungful of Woodbine smoke. He was already imagining the kisses he was going to be able to share with lovely Sally while they practiced their parts in rehearsals and then on the opening night itself.

Granted, he wasn't actually the leading man so his character wouldn't end up with Sally's character in the end, but Tristan didn't care about that. The way he saw it, he had gotten the much better deal than poor Matthew O'Connell who had ended up with the lead part. Matthew had loads more lines to learn and only had two scenes with Sally anyway. Neither of which involved any kissing at all. Meanwhile, the character Tristan had chosen had less lines, but more memorable ones. Then there was the bonus of getting access Sally's lips in the bargain….

But perhaps the best part of all was the fact that it hadn't taken much persuasion for Siegfried to go along with his plan. For once, a scheme of his had gone off without a hitch. Watching all the pieces fall into place, Tristan wondered if it had ever been this easy.

"Tristan, are you sure we should start rehearsing now? We've only just got our costumes on."

Tristan gave Sally his best smile. "Well, sure, but this is the best time to practice. While in costume," he assured her. "It sets the mood, you see."

"I suppose," Sally said. "Oh, but I forgot my script. I need to go get a copy. Do you mind awfully if I….?"

"Of course not," Tristan said. "I'll be backstage waiting for you."

She beamed at him and then pranced off, only tripping once on the hem of her gown. Once she was out of sight, Tristan pulled out a pack of Woodbines from his pocket, lit one, and made sure to sneak off so that his brother didn't spot him.

He had shown up an hour previous to be fitted for the Victorian era suit that his character would be wearing. A fitting that involved a delightful conversation with the charming Janet Beckensale, a seamstress who had arrived in Darrowby three months ago to work in a dressmaker's shop. Janet was handling the costumes and had been happy to chat with him while she worked. She even let him get a glimpse of the gown that Sally would be wearing which only made him even more anxious to get started with rehearsals.

After Janet had finished with him and while he was waiting for Sally to get done, Tristan had wandered around the theatre and had noticed Siegfried sitting in a chair, already in full costume and studying a copy of the script that lay across his lap.

He was certain that Siegfried had learned his lines by now. For all the forgetfulness his elder brother was known for, Siegfried had an amazing ability to absorb and retain factual information, an ability Tristan had also been blessed with. So why was Siegfried so engrossed in the script now? It couldn't be because he needed to refresh himself on the material.

Then again, Tristan wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to know the reason. Trouble often began when Siegfried actually began to analyze the details of just about anything.

"All right everyone. Everyone, please gather around here on the stage. Gather around here, yes, thank you."

Tristan blew out another puff of smoke and then sauntered toward the center of the stage where Nathan Parker, the director, was standing next to his sister, Janice.

"Yes, yes, come closer," Nathan said, clapping his hands. "Yes, here we go."

Tristan rolled his eyes and joined the semicircle that was forming, more than a little disappointed when Sally returned and stood next to Matthew instead of him. Seeing no way to regain his advantage, he went over to snuff his cigarette out in the nearest ashtray and then moved to stand next to Siegfried while watching their intrepid director continue to summon all the cast and crew.

Nathan Parker was a short, wiry man with mousy brown hair and thick spectacles that he kept perched on the end of his nose. His sister was almost his identical twin, the only true differences being solely due to the fact that she was a woman. That and the fact that she often had a quiet frown on her face. It wasn't so much a frown of disgust or displeasure. More like a look of studious concentration.

"Yes, good, now that we are all here, we can begin," Nathan said. He raised his hands up and then spread his arms wide. "I wanted us all together so that we could go through the script and be sure that everyone understands it, all right? And please, feel free to ask me any questions you need and I will do my best to articulate my artistic vision."

At that moment, Tristan was glad that he chose to stand next to Siegfried. Being there provided the necessary incentive to refrain from laughing as he listened to Nathan's spiel. Instead, he contented himself with slightly vibrating, making sure that he didn't move too much lest Siegfried notice it.

Meanwhile, Nathan clasped his hands behind his back and began to pace around them. "It's also paramount that you get a sense of the play as a whole rather than just focusing on your own parts. That will ensure a quality performance from all of you. That is what will…."

"Nathan," Janice cut in, raising an eyebrow. Nathan fell silent, glaring at her while she turned toward the rest of the cast. "Do let us know if you find any errors in the dialogue so our secretary can make the necessary changes. Now then…."

"Miss Parker," Siegfried immediately interjected. "I believe you'll find that there are some typographical errors on pages 16, 23 and 41. I have circled them here on my copy of the script."

Janice nodded and walked over to scan the pages Siegfried held up. Then she scribbled something onto the script she had attached to a clipboard.

"Thank you, Mr. Farnon, I'll make sure my secretary gets to these. Now then, if no one has any questions for Nathan, we can…."

"Actually, Miss Parker, I do have more I would like to discuss," Siegfried said. "There are several mentions in the play from various characters, including my own, of a 'sense of alumni' looming over the village. Now, I had assumed that this could be another typographical error, but I wasn't sure what you and your brother had in mind when…."

"Oh god, it's supposed to be ennui. Ennui," Nathan said drawing that last word out for twice as many syllables as necessary. "Surely you have heard of it. Anyone who had taken the time to read though the play carefully would have obviously known what I was conveying."

"It's not so obvious when most of the dialogue involving ennui was centered on the subplot of the local playwright's dog," Siegfried countered.

Nathan reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. "The dog is a metaphor for the effects societal decay are having on the village. Besides, as a veterinary surgeon, I would like to think you of all people could appreciate the bond between a man and his faithful animal companion."

"Of course I do," Siegfried frowned. "But it's rather difficult to infer that from your dialogue when that animal is supposed to be a figment of the playwright's imagination. If it is supposed to be a metaphor, it's a poor one."

Nathan's scowl deepened on his face as he marched over to Siegfried, his index finger pointing straight at Siegfried's face. "Now look here…."

"Nathan," Janice interrupted again. "Thank you, Mr. Farnon. I will make our secretary aware of the necessary corrections. Now then, let's read the whole script through together and see if there's anything else we need to take care of."

After all that, the reading of the script was, in Tristan's opinion, dry and mechanical. A couple of the actors, including Siegfried, did try to inject some emotion into their readings, but most of them simply read their lines as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Once they were done, and Janice made a few more notes of Siegfried's suggestions, the actors broke up into two or three person groups to practice their scenes together.

Fortunately for Tristan, he was able to get to Sally before anyone else could. The two of them went over to a secluded area of the stage, behind a flat board of scenery that was painted to look like a couple of bushes. The stage light above them gave her bright red hair an extra glow that made her green eyes shine.

"But Tristan, shouldn't I be practicing with Matthew first?" she asked him. "After all, he is my leading man, my destined soul mate. We're supposed to fall in love by the end of the third act. Shouldn't I be creating a bond with him?"

"But Sally, you heard what Nathan said while we were reading our lines," Tristan said. "For most of this play, your relationship with Matthew is supposed to be one of unrequited love. That's the tragedy in the play, you see, before the happy ending. And besides, perhaps your character has some feelings for my character that she's not fully aware of."

Sally took a step toward him, her green eyes shining even more. "Do you really think so?"

Tristan gave her another wide smile. "Of course I do. I'm sure that's what Nathan, our director, had in mind when he wrote all those scenes for us. He wanted to explore the many wonders and facets of love. So we really should be doing our best to fulfill his vision, don't you think?"

Sally tilted her head silently contemplating Tristan's words. She glanced through her script and then finally looked up and responded with a smile of her own.

"Yes, yes perhaps you are right, Tristan. Thank you for helping me audition for this play. I just know it's going to be such an adventure."

Tristan nodded, his smile growing as he put an arm around her waist and drew her closer. He was just about to suggest starting with the more passionate scenes to add some authenticity to the doomed romance between their characters when an all too familiar and entirely unwelcome voice interrupted the proceedings.

"Tristan? Tristan!" A few seconds later, Siegfried appeared beside them, causing Sally to break their embrace and Tristan to glare at him.

"Ah, Tristan, there you are," Siegfried continued, oblivious. "We need to get going."

"What now?" Tristan replied. "But we've just started with rehearsals."

"I know, but I just got an urgent call from Lord Hulton's place. One of his horses cut himself on something and is bleeding badly. And I'll need you to assist me."

Tristan let out a groan. "Siegfried, why…."

"Come on, little brother, come on," Siegfried said, clapping his hands for emphasis. "We're going to have to stop by the surgery to get some things before we can go out there. So haven't got a moment to lose."

Siegfried spun on his heel and dashed out. Tristan let out one more groan and tried to smile at Sally.

"It's all right, Tristan," she assured him. "I'm sure we can catch up again later. I'll just go practice with Matthew for now."

Tristan nodded and then rushed after his brother. At that moment, he was reminded of why he had recommended his elder brother for the part of the local tyrant.

And it had nothing to do with the quality of Siegfried's acting.