Why do we have love? Why do we have life? When we love, we become broken hearted. When we live ,we pass on. We live, we love, we break, we die.
A tortured soul that never leaves the world. That's how I feel now. A shell that was cracked. I'm just this gloomy corpse walking among the living.
I can regret what I had with him. How he crushed my heart. How I let him kiss her behind my back. I don't regret it though... I don't regret letting him take over me, because he changed me, and if he didn't change me...I might not be the grown women I am today. I would not have learned to treat others with respect. I would never have learned to love someone as much as they love me. I would have never have learned that others come first before me...
I do feel hurt though. I feel like someone pushed their hand right were my heart use to be and ripped it out my very being. I guess that's what I get. I pushed to far and this is wear it lead me. I pushed him away and lost my future. I didn't want to be weak. So I let my pride get the better of me. Let competition get ahead of me. And lost him.
We still hang out. We did become friends. After about a year of being apart we finally accepted each others differences.
He actually broke up with her, to. To much alike is what he told me. Needed someone a little bit of a challenge. I never thought to ask him out again though. I knew that it would eventually lead to the fighting and even more stuff we went through when we were teenagers.
We just leave it at that. A summer fling. One other person that knew us more than anyone else, because we have a history. A confusing messed up history no one could figure out, but a history.
I do blame the show though. It's what corrupted us all. Like Alejandro. They turned him into a robot. Or that newbie Scott. Man did he get the short end of the stick. I can list everyone basically. But we were just a bunch of teens fame hungry.
I will always love him. I'm sure he'll always love me to. But I can't be with him. It hurts to much. But I can be there for him. I can save a special place in my heart for him. I can say I love him, but not in love with him. Love him like a friend. Just love him when no one else will.