How To Save A Life
A/N: Yes, I know I should be working on Moonlight Sonata, but I got this idea and it just wouldn't go away. It's not very good, but it's out of my system and I can work on chapter nine of Moonlight Sonata. The musical inspiration comes from the Fray's "How to Save a Life". It's an awesome song- if you've never heard it, go down load it right now.
New Moon spoilers ahead- please review
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
Why can't life be like in the fairy tales? It's always happily ever after, and entirely black and white. There are no unresolved characters because, in the end, the bad guy is defeated and the hero and heroine live happily ever after.
Now, don't get me wrong- I am getting my happily ever after with Edward. The prince is back and the fairy tale's back on.
But what about Jake?
As much as I love Edward- no one could ever take his place in my heart- I love Jacob too. He was there for me when Edward wasn't. He held me up when all I wanted to do was fall and let the despair consume me.
And now I'm abandoning him.
No, that's not right. Abandoning him would almost be kind. Instead I'm falling back into the arms of his enemy. I don't feel guilty for loving Edward- I could never feel guilty for that. But…
When does Jake get his happily ever after? He deserves it- more than anyone he deserves someone who sees him for the great guy he is. Someone who would never choose her vampire boyfriend over him. Jake deserves someone… someone…
Who is not me.
"You can't ride the middle, Bella. You're either with them, or you're with us. You can't be both… and you can't be one of them and my friend."
"Why not? Why can't I be with the man I love and my best friend? You saved me Jake-"
"Then be a wolf girl. Stay here in La Push- the leech will only hurt you."
"I can't Jake- I can't leave him, but I can't choose between you either."
"I think you just did. Good-bye, Isabella."
I hadn't seen Jake since that weekend and I had gone to La Push while Edward was hunting. I never told him about the visit- in fact, I never spoke about Jacob to him again after that.
"Is Jake there, Billy?"
"You made your decision, Bella."
"Billy, please. I need to talk to him."
"Don't call here again, Bella. You broke Jake's heart- can't you leave the pieces alone?"
And I had broken him. Billy was right, I broke Jake's heart as surely as Edward had broken mine when he left.
I buried my head in my hands and let my tears fall. I cried for me, I cried for Jake, and I cried because I didn't know what else to do. Where had I gone wrong? How had I managed to lose Jake? When did I stop fighting to get him back?
"Shhh," I felt Edward's hard arms wrap around me. He stroked my hair and held me close against him. I buried my head in his chest and sobbed.
"Where did I go wrong?" I asked him. "What did I do that messed everything up?"
"It's not you," whispered Edward. "It's me. Bella… you can't have both of us. You can't be with me, and have him as a friend. It's just not possible."
"What if I want it to be?" I sobbed.
"If I could bring back your friend, I would… but… I can't. Bella- if you regret your choice, if you want to go to Jacob…"
"Don't say you'd let me go," I whispered. "I don't want to think you'd let go of me that easily."
"I would like to think if you wanted someone else I could but…" I heard him sigh. "I wouldn't. I would fight for you until I either won you or was dead. I learned that when I left before."
"He saved me," I whispered. "And not just when I jumped. He saved me from myself before that, Edward. When you left, I was in a really bad place and Jake… Jake made me feel alive again. Not whole, but… I felt like I could live when I was with him. Now, I've broken him…"
"Jacob is strong, Bella. He'll persevere."
"He'll do better if I'm not around," I replied. "Do you remember that question you asked me the night of the vote?"
"Ye-s," he dragged out the word uncertainly.
"That's just what I was just about to say."
Edward and I were wed a month later. I didn't invite Jacob. I had broke his heart- but I was no longer going to touch the pieces. Three days after the 'I do'-s, I was a vampire.
Jacob never saw me again- but I saw him. I returned once, ten years after my turning to watch him marry a young woman from Forks. Billy had called me, I had been shocked, but ever thankful.
"He's getting married."
"When?"
"Two weeks."
"Does he love her?"
"He finally became whole when he met her. Don't let him know you're there."
"I won't."
"Good-bye, Bella."
"Bye, Billy… and thanks."
He had found someone to love him, wolf and all, and I was able to move on.
Fairy tales weren't real life- but in this case, there were no unresolved characters.
Where did I go wrong
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life