Waiting

Vlad POV

Summary: Vlad's thoughts during 'Bad Vlad'

A/N: I probably haven't got the character right and I've probably tense swapped in there somewhere, but this is my first published fanfiction so please, please, please don't flame. I already know it's not the best thing on Earth.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or episode 'Bad Vlad'.

I'm trapped. I can't see, I can't hear, I can't even move my own body. I'm a prisoner here. Where? How should I know? It feels familiar, but I can't remember why. I feel small, compressed, a huge weight pressing against my head. Blackness laps at its edges. I daren't go closer, but every time I recoil it compresses me and I lose a part of myself. So I build up a wall to protect myself. It's not actually there of course, but it makes me feel more secure, and the crushing blackness isn't as bad as I thought it was.

So I wait.

I don't know what I'm waiting for. I just feel as if I should. Perhaps for food, or for light, or for someone to come running in to ask am I ok. Because they will ask. They ask even if I blink funny. Well, apart from Ingrid which is something that I'm grateful for I suppose. As long as she keeps treating me like dirt I'll still have some semblance of normality.

I keep waiting.

People always say that if you forget where you put something you should retrace your steps to see where you put it. Perhaps I should do that to see where someone has put me. But all I can remember is going to the basement to talk to Erin and then…

Oh crap.

The Blood Mirror.

The blackness…is me. A thousand of me, only so twisted and evil I can't even recognise myself. The blackness laughs and presses harder on my wall. Perhaps it isn't so make believe after all. I strengthen it with my will. I push against it with all my might but it doesn't budge. The evil me is completely in control. All I can do is make sure I stay here and hope for a moment of weakness.

So I curl into a metaphorical ball and wait.

I see only snippets of what the other me is doing. I see myself getting sent off the site but ignoring the warning. I see my other self hypnotising Renfield and putting a wreath of garlic on Dad when he tried to fang cuff me. I see myself luring a girl - Becky – up to the apartment above the school and planning to bite her. But Erin had put garlic in her drink. I see myself trying to bite Erin.

At that point I could no longer wait.

My anger – anger I didn't know I had – bubbles over as the other me lowers his fangs to her neck. Suddenly the blackness is insubstantial and I push through to take control again. It's short lived but I push myself away from Erin before I'm pressed back into my corner. He's not getting anywhere near her. But I can't see anything anymore so I rebuild my walls.

And I wait.

The next sight he lets drift to me is Ingrid. She's running at the other me with a stake. Good. Drive it through his damned heart. But he stops it with the tip of his finger. And then he throws Ingrid out into the sunlight. The door closes ominously behind her. Then everything blurs. And he's trying to bite Erin again, because he doesn't understand how special she is and he wants to. Biting her is the only way he knows how to understand things. I try to hold him back. He's prepared for the anger this time. I barely stop him doing it. And then Erin's desperate murmur reaches me.

"I believe in you."

No one's ever believed in me.

I'm done with waiting.

No one's hurting Erin. Not even my psychopathic other half. Especially not him.

I push him from my body. I'm done with this. He's not going down without a fight. Good, 'coz neither am I. I free myself from him. I'm able to think clearly. Erin looks at me warily.

"Vlad?"

Then I remember what I've done. She looks at me in understanding and grabs a large curtain or something, still keeping up the pretence of being a half-fang as she goes outside to save Ingrid. I go to Dad. I can feel my dark side watching me, taunting me from the shadows of my mind. He talks to me as I save Dad, whispers from the dark. Enough is enough.

No more waiting, for either of us. Or we'll be playing this game forever.

I confront him in the mirror room, Erin waiting nervously. She's my strength in this, I think. I'm not sure why. It's a battle of wills. His one thousand against my one. Even odds, huh?

I realise I can't destroy him, he's as much a part of me as my hair is, but I can control my hair can't I? So perhaps…

He taunts me, says I'm not strong enough as I open my arms and invite him to have what he wants, a place inside my mind, just not the place he wants. He taunts me but I am stronger than him, always will be I hope. Anyway, someone believes in me, and that someone is Erin.

He runs into me, sealing a pact all vampires have with their dark side. But mine will be different, I'm determined of that.

I can feel him lurking as Erin asks me whether it's over. I snap at her, my control hanging by a thread. I make up my mind in an instant, I have to leave. There's too much temptation here, too many breathers, too much risk if I can't keep the upper hand. Erin talks to me as I leave, pretty much begs me to stay. But I can't. You know why?

Because it's not me that's waiting anymore, it's him.