Title: Slipping Away
Author: GEM
Date written: 8/5/07
Rated: T
Word count: 2,131
Story Timeline: season 2
Category: Drama
Warnings: tissues may be needed.
Characters: Cottle, with sprinkles of A/R
Summary: Cottle is a doctor first, an observer second, and friend most of all.
Spoiler: Epiphanies
Author's Note: A great big thank you to Vangoghgoadmirer for her beta and the title.
The medical staff aboard the Battlestar Galactica was busily working. It was a normal day, until they received the fateful call. It was a call they had been expecting but one they would never truly be ready for. They watched the face of their commanding officer and knew it was the end. The President was slipping away.
Those were the words of the medic on duty, slipping away. Jack Cottle hung the handset back in the cradle on the wall. He then flipped a cigarette into his mouth and walked out of his office. He gave his people the sign and watched as a medical team quietly exited sickbay for the flight deck. Ishay was approaching him with a knowing concerned look etched on her face. They set to work quickly on their own portion of this inevitable mission. They set up a comfortable and secluded area to serve Laura Roslin's every need, in the final stage of her life. Ishay was his most trusted medic. They worked together like a great symphony. Ishay took care of the bed, sterilized the medical trays. Cottle moved around the furniture to accommodate the wealth of monitors and medical equipment. He continued to work as he lazily puffed on his cigarette, his last for a while, at least while Laura was here. He checked the medication Ishay brought in and made a call for some others to be brought up from storage.
After what seemed like hours, the President arrived. She was not lucid as they transferred her to the bed, and began to hook her to the monitor and IVs. Jack walked up beside the bed and looked at her. Her breathing was shallow. She was moaning and mumbling in pain, oblivious to her own surroundings. There would be no recovery this time. The best Jack could hope for was to make her comfortable and perhaps buy her a few semi-pain free, possibly lucid hours. The thought of her demise tore away at his heart. He covered her hand with his and spoke to her. "Madame President can you hear me?" Her response was an incoherent moan. Her hand was as cold as ice and as he looked at the monitors he felt his own heat skip a beat. He looked at the young man standing at the foot of the bed and then back to Laura. "We're going to try and make you comfortable."
Ishay had already started an IV and Jack injected the pain medication into it. He hoped this would help her come back to them for a short time. He knew he was acting selfish in his own mind, but he needed to hear her voice one more time. He needed to share one more non-work related conversation, one more joke, and one more laugh, before she slipped away.
--
Jack called Bill Adama as soon as she was settled in. The Admiral needed to know what they were all up against. They all needed to come to terms with their not so distant future. Jack heard the line go dead after he had only said the first few words. Jack knew what was going through Bill's mind. They had been friends for almost forty years and could read each other well. Bill knew they needed to have this conversation face to face.
When Bill walked into sickbay a short while later his heart immediately jumped into his throat. The tone in the room was so solemn it was indescribable. His angel, his Laura was lying on the bed before him pale, weak, but thankfully asleep. Billy was seated by her side, holding her hand; savoring his final moments with his mother.
Bill walked past staring only at the deck below him. He couldn't bring himself to look at her. He could feel the tears forming in his eyes and he feared that if he looked up at her they would fall free.
Jack watched the scene unfold in front of him. It really is a damned shame they couldn't admit their feelings earlier. The Admiral of the fleet, the great military mastermind looked as if he had been kicked repeatedly in the gut then stabbed in the heart. Jack imagined if anyone looked at him, he would look about the same, but he hadn't gotten the courage to look in mirror.
"Jack." Bill's voice was small as he entered the private office.
"Bill." Jack followed him inside shutting the door. He leaned against his desk as Bill sank down defeated in a chair in front of Jack.
The friends looked at each other. No one needed to say a word. Their expressions spoke volumes. Bill Adama was secretly in love with Laura Roslin and Jack had known this since the beginning. The two spent so much time together it was bound to happen. Bill was about to lose a piece of himself and there was nothing Jack Cottle could do to save him.
Bill knew the story. He had seen this expression before. It was his: there's nothing more I can do, old friend. I am so sorry look.
"How long?" Bill's question cut the silence like a knife.
"A day maybe two." Jack fumbled a cigarette between his fingers willing, something, if anything to change what he had just said. He stared at the cigarette between his fingers before bringing it up to mouth and lighting it.
Bill felt as if he just had to wind kicked out of him. It didn't matter that Jack was smoking in front of him nothing mattered anymore.
"I'm sorry old friend. I know how much she means to you. I know how much she means to us all."
Bill nodded and began to stand. Jack put a hand on his shoulder and looked his friend in the eyes. "Listen to me. Don't hide behind your rank or responsibilities. She has two days use the time she has left. Make some memories I know I am."
Bill nodded and walked over to the door. He turned back before leaving. "Thank you."
--
Laura's final days weren't only spent making memories. She wanted, no needed to make sure the fleet would be safe after she was gone. After she had regained consciousness Jack checked her over and then sat down and talked to her. It was nice to see his softer side. She never knew he had one. It was nice to know that he wasn't always brash and sarcastic. He was a very warm and funny man. She enjoyed his company and for a moment he made her forget she was lying on her deathbed. Until their conversation shifted to the cylon's tests. They quickly shifted gears from pleasantries to business. Jack explained his odd test results and Laura grew more concerned. She called a meeting with Bill, Baltar and Jack.
She made her case. She didn't like where her plea was taking her but the cylon pregnancy needed to be terminated for the good of the fleet and it needed to happen while she was still alive. Baltar wouldn't have the stomach to do it.
--
Cottle watched her sleep from the doorway of his office. The meeting had been an exhausting ordeal. He was brought out of his musings when Bill came up beside him. He wasn't sure how he had missed Bill's entrance but there the man stood.
Bill leaned against the doorframe on the opposite side of Jack and followed his CMO's gaze to Laura's bedside. "How is she?"
"Exhausted." Jack replied as he stood up a little straighter against the doorframe.
"I'm going to spend some time with her, if you don't mind."
"Be my guest just try not to wake her right away." Jack turned and walked back into his office and watched Bill as he sat down next to Laura.
Bill sat next to Laura and took her hand between his. It wasn't fair this disease was stealing her away. Her hands were ice cold. He held it tight willing his warmth to penetrate her skin. He closed his eyes taking in every sound, smell and touch. He needed to commit this moment to memory because soon she would be gone and it would be too late. "Please don't leave. I need you." Bill knew it was a fruitless plea but he needed to say it. Cottle was about to walk in when he heard Bill's plea for Laura to stay. He smiled slightly and turned back to his office.
She hadn't woken at all during Bill's first visit. But she was up for the second visit, which lasted well into the night because they talked about the fleet, Lee, Kara, Billy, and themselves. Bill then read to her until she had fallen asleep. He gently kissed her on the forehead as he had with Kara and left her to sleep. It was hard to leave her, but he knew he couldn't stay there were things that needed to be done and no else could do them but him.
Jack watched him as he kissed her goodbye and left. He knew they had said their goodbyes, but Bill was not about to let go. She entered a slow and steady decline after Bill left. When Jack checked on her the next morning her breathing and vitals hadn't changed that much but she had a different look about her. Jack had seen this look many times and he didn't want to believe it, but knew it was true. He grabbed the bedrail for support and took a deep breath. Why did she have to get to him so much? He knew this day was coming. It had been coming for a long time. He knew he had done everything she would allow him to help her. Jack also was aware that Laura Roslin wouldn't survive the day.
--
The plan for the cylon was set in motion early that morning. Cottle was called to check on Laura shortly before 1100 hours. He pressed his fingers to her wrists and looked up at Ishay. "Call the Admiral."
An emotional ship wide announcement was made. It was now real. There was no turning back.
--
The day continued to take turns Jack Cottle never expected. Baltar in his infinite wisdom to avoid his new responsibility was looking for a way to save the President in his lab no less. He rushed out in the middle of a standoff with the Marines and Helo and rushed Adama into the lab. Jack honestly didn't think this would work. The cylon was brought into sickbay and wheeled into a cubical next to a dying Laura Roslin. Baltar found a cure using the cylon baby's blood. Baltar may be genius but Jack trusted him only as far as he could throw him. This was unnatural and definitely not what Laura wanted. She had made her peace. Jack knew that because they talked about it many times near the end. This was just the kind of thing Bill was looking for, it meant more time with Laura but it was damned dangerous.
Even though Jack knew this would make Bill happy. He could still see the conflict on his face. They were both aware of her expressed wishes. Jack saw a glimmer of hope mixed with sadness and fear in Bill's eyes. At that moment he knew Laura Roslin might very well defy medical science and be alive at the end of the day, albeit against her wishes.
--
She was indeed alive and Jack Cottle couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was so unusually that he had the test results checked and rechecked. They all came up the same. The cancer was gone not in remission, but gone. He had been staring at the same scans for the better part of an hour and had been through a half a pack of cigarettes. He finally came to the conclusion that Laura was healthy and would live a full life. He could help but smile inside. He was still staring at her scans when Bill walked into the viewing room.
"What's the prognosis doc?" Bill walked up behind Cottle who was holding a scan up still studying it.
"Damned thing I ever saw. According to every test I know how to run the cancer is gone."
"Gone?" Bill asked equally astonished.
They both stood staring at the scan allowing the magnitude of the conversation to sink in. Laura Roslin was here to stay. She wouldn't be slipping away after all.