Caroline in the City
"Caroline and the Post Office"
Written by J. Kallis, April 2002. This is a work of fiction and I have no connection to anyone who worked on the TV show.
Episodes of the TV show that you may need to be familiar with to fully understand this fan fiction are "Caroline and the Wedding" and "Caroline and the Singer". This episode would fit into the 4th season of CitC.
INT. CAROLINE'S APARTMENT
Caroline is sitting on her couch enjoying her comic strip in the newspaper.
CAROLINE (to herself, giggling): You did it again Duffy! Another grade-A three-panel strip.
Annie enters the room.
ANNIE: Oh that sounded so dirty!
Caroline rolls her eyes at Annie.
CAROLINE: What's up?
ANNIE: The post office just called me.
CAROLINE: Have you been re-using stamps again?
ANNIE: No! There is a registered package for me. I have to go down and sign for it. Wanna come?
CAROLINE: Okay.
They exit Caroline's apartment and hit the elevator button. Ding!
ANNIE: Dang it, I forgot my ID. I need it to sign for the package. Hold the elevator.
Caroline looks in the elevator and sees a familiar face.
ELEVADOR LADY: You need to start taking the stairs.
[Run opening theme]
INT. POST OFFICE
Caroline and Annie enter and there is a huge line.
ANNIE: You are kiddin' me! Look at this line!
CAROLINE: We're probably going to be in line for a good hour.
Annie notices someone in the corner of her eye and gestures to Caroline.
ANNIE: Hey… isn't that Charlie up there? Eh?
CAROLINE: Hey, yeah, it's him. Lucky, there are only a few people in front of him.
ANNIE: Well then I am just going to have to cut him.
CAROLINE: Annie, this isn't grade school.
ANNIE: Exactly, no evil Ms. Yellinstuff to bench me during recess.
Annie leaves Caroline's side and goes up to Charlie.
ANNIE (with a hushed voice): Charlie… Charlie…
CHARLIE: Oh hi Annie.
He then turns away so Annie pokes him to regain his attention.
ANNIE: Charlie, let me cut you in line.
What Annie did not notice was that there was a very large and angry woman behind Charlie.
WOMAN: Uh-uh. I don't think so.
ANNIE: Excuse me, would you mind your own business, okay?
WOMAN: It's my business if you are trying to jump the line.
ANNIE: Ahhh, I'm not… see… um… this is my husband lady!
CHARLIE: OH-Kay Poo-kie.
WOMAN (looking mean): Are you REALLY her husband?
CHARLIE (scared): No! I've never seen this woman before in my life!
ANNIE: Charlie!
CHARLIE: Sorry Annie…
WOMAN: BACK of the line!
An upset Annie rejoins Caroline at the back of the line.
45 MINUTES LATER –
Caroline and Annie are now almost at the head of the line.
CAROLINE: Okay, we're up next so you can stop complaining.
The person in front of them leaves and they move up to the window. Then, the postal worker inside puts out a sign that reads: At lunch, will return in one hour.
ANNIE (screaming): No! Please wait! Wait!
POSTAL WORKER: I'm sorry lady; I'm hungry!
Caroline looks down at his nametag.
CAROLINE: Excuse me, Ralph, all my friend needs is to sign for a package.
RALPH: Hey, are not you Caroline in the City? From the cartoon?
CAROLINE (blushing): Well, yes, yes I am.
RALPH: I saw you on Regis the other week. I love your comic strip!
ANNIE: She will send you an autographed drawing if you would just please get my package?
RALPH: Well, okay. Name and identification please.
ANNIE: Annie Spadaro.
Annie gives Ralph her ID. He looks over in a bin of packages and pulls one out. He points to a piece of paper that is attached to the package.
RALPH: Sign here and initial here please. And Miss Caroline, here my business card. You can send the autograph here. I can't wait!
ANNIE: Okay, I am done.
Ralph tears off the flap of the piece of paper that Annie signed and gives her the package.
ANNIE: Thanks. Come on Caroline.
Annie is pulling Caroline.
CAROLINE: Thanks again Ralph!
INT. CAROLINE'S APARTMENT
CAROLINE: So, the package is from your sister? What do you think she sent you?
ANNIE: I'm guessing Donna is sending me advance copies of her new CD "The Glass Onion". She finally got signed to a new record deal.
Annie opens the package.
ANNIE: Cool, autographed CDs for all of us. Here.
Annie hands Caroline a CD.
Caroline: Neat, to my favorite cartoonist Caroline. How sweet!
Annie: Ack, even one for Richard. Here.
Caroline: To Richard, thanks for the lyrics, Love, Donna. Awe, that is too sweet. She must have decided to include Richard's epic with the Celtic influences, yadda yadda. I am sure he will be thrilled.
Annie is looking at the back of the CD.
ANNIE: No, I think she means "Meet Me At Remo's".
CAROLINE: What are you talking about? You mean that song she sang at the bar?
ANNIE: Oops…
Caroline opens the CD booklet and flips to the credits.
CAROLINE (intent on the booklet): Meet Me At Remo's. Music by Donna Spadaro, Lyrics by Richard Karinsky.
ANNIE: So I guess he never told you he wrote that letter?
CAROLINE: What letter?
ANNIE: Well, I have it if you want to see it.
CAROLINE: You have it? Why?
ANNIE: Blackmail.
CAROLINE: Oh.
ANNIE: But I guess it isn't useful now that you two are together. I even really forgot that I had it anyway. Come on.
Caroline and Annie exit to Annie's apartment.
INT. ANNIE'S APARTMENT
Annie gets her diary and hands the letter to Caroline.
CAROLINE: When did he write this?
ANNIE: About three years ago. Around when you and Del were still together and about to get married.
CAROLINE: I knew it! I knew he had feelings. I knew it when he came down in the rain to give me that umbrella. If only we had the notion then to act on our pain. And then when I was about to Julia shows up…
ANNIE: Julia was a bitch!
CAROLINE: Annie!
ANNIE: What? She was. I could have taken her.
CAROLINE: Okay, okay. Now come back to my apartment. Richard is coming over for dinner. I think there will be a surprise waiting for him.
INT. CAROLINE'S APARTMENT
Caroline and Annie start to transform Caroline's apartment. Candles are everywhere and a romantic dinner table is set. The lights are dimmed and Caroline is dressed in her finest black dress.
CAROLINE: Thanks for all the help Annie.
ANNIE: No problem.
CAROLINE: Now high tail it out of here so I can seduce my man!
ANNIE: Good luck.
CAROLINE: Oh, and don't forget to take your package.
ANNIE: Yeah, I think there is a letter in there, I guess I'll go read while you get lucky.
CAROLINE: GOODBYE Annie.
Annie exits. Caroline then goes and hides behind the wall near her bathroom. Caroline taps her foot and looks at her watch.
CAROLINE (to herself): Come on Richard…
The, the door opens. Richard enters.
RICHARD: Caroline?
Caroline is holding a remote control. She presses a button and "Meet Me At Remo's" begins to play.
"If you don't arrive by seven, I'll have to let you go…"
Caroline walks in.
CAROLINE: Good thing you got here in time.
"Before you marry someone else there's something you should know…"
RICHARD: How did you…
CAROLINE (singing with the song): I've got feelings, strong feelings, meet me at Remo's, I want to share your laughter and wipe away your tears, so if you love me…
RICHARD: I love you Caroline.
CAROLINE: Richard, I love you too. Why didn't you ever tell me about the letter and the song?
RICHARD: I'm sorry. I guess I forgot. It was so long ago. I didn't even know it was going to be published for sure. I should have told you. I'm sorry.
CAROLINE: Don't be sorry, it is beautiful. I have never seen you write like this before. But, if you are feeling bad, why don't you make it up to me?
Caroline smiles and takes Richard's hand. She hits the latch on the door to lock it. They begin to walk upstairs. Then, the door opens, but being stopped short by the latch.
ANNIE: Caroline! Richard! Open up!
RICHARD: GO AWAY!
ANNIE: RICHARD!
CAROLINE: Annie we are in the middle of something!
ANNIE: I HAVE A CHECK FOR $3,000.00 FOR RICHARD!
CAROLINE: What?
RICHARD: I think we should open the door.
Caroline and Richard walk down and Caroline opens the door.
CAROLINE: What is this about?
ANNIE: That wasn't a letter in the package. It was an advance check to Richard for his cut of the publishing rights for the song. They are going to be using it as Donna's first single and with radio airplay, et cetera after taxes Richard gets $3,000.00. See.
Annie gives Richard the check.
RICHARD: I could buy all new supplies. I could buy a gallery showing!
CAROLINE: Oh Richard I am so happy for you.
RICHARD: Ok, thanks Annie. Take this anyway you want to, please, now, LEAVE.
Richard pushes Annie out the door and latches it back up. He then picks up Caroline and walk up the stairs.
The end.
"Caroline and the Post Office"
Written by J. Kallis, April 2002. This is a work of fiction and I have no connection to anyone who worked on the TV show.
Episodes of the TV show that you may need to be familiar with to fully understand this fan fiction are "Caroline and the Wedding" and "Caroline and the Singer". This episode would fit into the 4th season of CitC.
INT. CAROLINE'S APARTMENT
Caroline is sitting on her couch enjoying her comic strip in the newspaper.
CAROLINE (to herself, giggling): You did it again Duffy! Another grade-A three-panel strip.
Annie enters the room.
ANNIE: Oh that sounded so dirty!
Caroline rolls her eyes at Annie.
CAROLINE: What's up?
ANNIE: The post office just called me.
CAROLINE: Have you been re-using stamps again?
ANNIE: No! There is a registered package for me. I have to go down and sign for it. Wanna come?
CAROLINE: Okay.
They exit Caroline's apartment and hit the elevator button. Ding!
ANNIE: Dang it, I forgot my ID. I need it to sign for the package. Hold the elevator.
Caroline looks in the elevator and sees a familiar face.
ELEVADOR LADY: You need to start taking the stairs.
[Run opening theme]
INT. POST OFFICE
Caroline and Annie enter and there is a huge line.
ANNIE: You are kiddin' me! Look at this line!
CAROLINE: We're probably going to be in line for a good hour.
Annie notices someone in the corner of her eye and gestures to Caroline.
ANNIE: Hey… isn't that Charlie up there? Eh?
CAROLINE: Hey, yeah, it's him. Lucky, there are only a few people in front of him.
ANNIE: Well then I am just going to have to cut him.
CAROLINE: Annie, this isn't grade school.
ANNIE: Exactly, no evil Ms. Yellinstuff to bench me during recess.
Annie leaves Caroline's side and goes up to Charlie.
ANNIE (with a hushed voice): Charlie… Charlie…
CHARLIE: Oh hi Annie.
He then turns away so Annie pokes him to regain his attention.
ANNIE: Charlie, let me cut you in line.
What Annie did not notice was that there was a very large and angry woman behind Charlie.
WOMAN: Uh-uh. I don't think so.
ANNIE: Excuse me, would you mind your own business, okay?
WOMAN: It's my business if you are trying to jump the line.
ANNIE: Ahhh, I'm not… see… um… this is my husband lady!
CHARLIE: OH-Kay Poo-kie.
WOMAN (looking mean): Are you REALLY her husband?
CHARLIE (scared): No! I've never seen this woman before in my life!
ANNIE: Charlie!
CHARLIE: Sorry Annie…
WOMAN: BACK of the line!
An upset Annie rejoins Caroline at the back of the line.
45 MINUTES LATER –
Caroline and Annie are now almost at the head of the line.
CAROLINE: Okay, we're up next so you can stop complaining.
The person in front of them leaves and they move up to the window. Then, the postal worker inside puts out a sign that reads: At lunch, will return in one hour.
ANNIE (screaming): No! Please wait! Wait!
POSTAL WORKER: I'm sorry lady; I'm hungry!
Caroline looks down at his nametag.
CAROLINE: Excuse me, Ralph, all my friend needs is to sign for a package.
RALPH: Hey, are not you Caroline in the City? From the cartoon?
CAROLINE (blushing): Well, yes, yes I am.
RALPH: I saw you on Regis the other week. I love your comic strip!
ANNIE: She will send you an autographed drawing if you would just please get my package?
RALPH: Well, okay. Name and identification please.
ANNIE: Annie Spadaro.
Annie gives Ralph her ID. He looks over in a bin of packages and pulls one out. He points to a piece of paper that is attached to the package.
RALPH: Sign here and initial here please. And Miss Caroline, here my business card. You can send the autograph here. I can't wait!
ANNIE: Okay, I am done.
Ralph tears off the flap of the piece of paper that Annie signed and gives her the package.
ANNIE: Thanks. Come on Caroline.
Annie is pulling Caroline.
CAROLINE: Thanks again Ralph!
INT. CAROLINE'S APARTMENT
CAROLINE: So, the package is from your sister? What do you think she sent you?
ANNIE: I'm guessing Donna is sending me advance copies of her new CD "The Glass Onion". She finally got signed to a new record deal.
Annie opens the package.
ANNIE: Cool, autographed CDs for all of us. Here.
Annie hands Caroline a CD.
Caroline: Neat, to my favorite cartoonist Caroline. How sweet!
Annie: Ack, even one for Richard. Here.
Caroline: To Richard, thanks for the lyrics, Love, Donna. Awe, that is too sweet. She must have decided to include Richard's epic with the Celtic influences, yadda yadda. I am sure he will be thrilled.
Annie is looking at the back of the CD.
ANNIE: No, I think she means "Meet Me At Remo's".
CAROLINE: What are you talking about? You mean that song she sang at the bar?
ANNIE: Oops…
Caroline opens the CD booklet and flips to the credits.
CAROLINE (intent on the booklet): Meet Me At Remo's. Music by Donna Spadaro, Lyrics by Richard Karinsky.
ANNIE: So I guess he never told you he wrote that letter?
CAROLINE: What letter?
ANNIE: Well, I have it if you want to see it.
CAROLINE: You have it? Why?
ANNIE: Blackmail.
CAROLINE: Oh.
ANNIE: But I guess it isn't useful now that you two are together. I even really forgot that I had it anyway. Come on.
Caroline and Annie exit to Annie's apartment.
INT. ANNIE'S APARTMENT
Annie gets her diary and hands the letter to Caroline.
CAROLINE: When did he write this?
ANNIE: About three years ago. Around when you and Del were still together and about to get married.
CAROLINE: I knew it! I knew he had feelings. I knew it when he came down in the rain to give me that umbrella. If only we had the notion then to act on our pain. And then when I was about to Julia shows up…
ANNIE: Julia was a bitch!
CAROLINE: Annie!
ANNIE: What? She was. I could have taken her.
CAROLINE: Okay, okay. Now come back to my apartment. Richard is coming over for dinner. I think there will be a surprise waiting for him.
INT. CAROLINE'S APARTMENT
Caroline and Annie start to transform Caroline's apartment. Candles are everywhere and a romantic dinner table is set. The lights are dimmed and Caroline is dressed in her finest black dress.
CAROLINE: Thanks for all the help Annie.
ANNIE: No problem.
CAROLINE: Now high tail it out of here so I can seduce my man!
ANNIE: Good luck.
CAROLINE: Oh, and don't forget to take your package.
ANNIE: Yeah, I think there is a letter in there, I guess I'll go read while you get lucky.
CAROLINE: GOODBYE Annie.
Annie exits. Caroline then goes and hides behind the wall near her bathroom. Caroline taps her foot and looks at her watch.
CAROLINE (to herself): Come on Richard…
The, the door opens. Richard enters.
RICHARD: Caroline?
Caroline is holding a remote control. She presses a button and "Meet Me At Remo's" begins to play.
"If you don't arrive by seven, I'll have to let you go…"
Caroline walks in.
CAROLINE: Good thing you got here in time.
"Before you marry someone else there's something you should know…"
RICHARD: How did you…
CAROLINE (singing with the song): I've got feelings, strong feelings, meet me at Remo's, I want to share your laughter and wipe away your tears, so if you love me…
RICHARD: I love you Caroline.
CAROLINE: Richard, I love you too. Why didn't you ever tell me about the letter and the song?
RICHARD: I'm sorry. I guess I forgot. It was so long ago. I didn't even know it was going to be published for sure. I should have told you. I'm sorry.
CAROLINE: Don't be sorry, it is beautiful. I have never seen you write like this before. But, if you are feeling bad, why don't you make it up to me?
Caroline smiles and takes Richard's hand. She hits the latch on the door to lock it. They begin to walk upstairs. Then, the door opens, but being stopped short by the latch.
ANNIE: Caroline! Richard! Open up!
RICHARD: GO AWAY!
ANNIE: RICHARD!
CAROLINE: Annie we are in the middle of something!
ANNIE: I HAVE A CHECK FOR $3,000.00 FOR RICHARD!
CAROLINE: What?
RICHARD: I think we should open the door.
Caroline and Richard walk down and Caroline opens the door.
CAROLINE: What is this about?
ANNIE: That wasn't a letter in the package. It was an advance check to Richard for his cut of the publishing rights for the song. They are going to be using it as Donna's first single and with radio airplay, et cetera after taxes Richard gets $3,000.00. See.
Annie gives Richard the check.
RICHARD: I could buy all new supplies. I could buy a gallery showing!
CAROLINE: Oh Richard I am so happy for you.
RICHARD: Ok, thanks Annie. Take this anyway you want to, please, now, LEAVE.
Richard pushes Annie out the door and latches it back up. He then picks up Caroline and walk up the stairs.
The end.