He was the only man I ever loved. He was everything to me. My
savior, my father, my friend, my god. I worshiped him. I cared for him
and thought of him above all else. He was my light; my sun. Whenever I
was lost in the dark, his light would pull me out. His hands reached
out to me whenever I needed him.
Koumyou Sanzo.
He taught me everything I know and everything I live by to this day.
I will never love another the way I loved him. I can't love anyone like
that again. I can't risk losing someone that important ever again. My
master is still with me. I can feel him in my heart... What remains of
it anyway. I can't love someone else. I can't ever betray him.
His spirit is with me through everything. Everything I see,
everything I do. He's still with me. That's why I can't let anyone else
see me. I can't let anyone else touch me. I live for him. Because he
told me to become stronger. This is the path that he led me down, and
that I will continue to follow until the day I die.
His rough, passionate touch lingers on my body. His words still
whisper in my ear. I still feel the warmth of his lips against mine,
after all the years I've grown. The taste of his tobacco in my mouth, I
keep anew by smoking every day. I need these cigarettes. Their memory
and the taste of Master Sanzo breathes life into me. I need them to
survive.
I've never been intimate with anyone. Keeping my distance, not
letting anyone touch my body or my heart... It's the way I stay
faithful to my master. If I ever broke that promise... I would die.
I'll never let another person touch me. I'll never have sex with anyone
ever again... Because my master is the only one I ever see.
Koumyou Sanzo... My master, my teacher, my lover. You are the only
one I will ever love.
~Priest Genjyo Sanzo, the 31st of China
P.S. - I will make you proud to have made me your successor.