Author's Note: Just to get this out of the way - this story is meant for adults, and only adults. The first few chapters are fairly tame, but the story as a whole touches on darker themes, such as: violence, (allusions to) child abuse, sexytimes, naughty language, and mental illness. If that's not your thing, no worries, but you might not want to read on.

Italics, unless obviously used for emphasis, indicate internal thoughts/voices at present time in relation to the events of the story (since the 3rd person narrator's voice itself is in past-tense - it's what the characters were thinking to themselves and not part of the 're-telling' - if that makes sense). This first chapter is a bit of an introduction and is written in first person POV; narration will switch to third person in subsequent chapters. I do invite you to take a gander at the link in my profile for a (long-winded) breakdown of what to expect from me stylistically, if you're interested.

I ended up omitting lot of "pre-story" information - I'd be happy to share it with those who are interested; I made some changes in the telling that should fairly clearly illustrate what alterations I've done to the canon lore, though, and so (hopefully) that should not be as necessary.

Here is some text about how I'm not SquareEnix and don't own any of the characters from FFVII that also notes that the story and any original characters are mine.

To begin, we come in just before the worst occurs at Nibelheim.

If just one night had been a little different...

-Sephiroth-

I'm a monster! I thought, staring at the creature in the tank.
What...what am I?
Genesis was here...he has wings! A wing...he had a wing - he told me the truth. He was my friend...thought I needed to know...that I was a monster? Why now? Why this?

Memories flashed through my head - Hojo's cruel testing...how I've always felt different...
I needed more information, needed to know more before I could be sure. Running back to the mansion, leaving everyone behind, I sped my way to Hojo's secret library; his research was there according to Genesis. Facts, facts will make this right. There had to be a reason...some reason!
My mother? Father? Did they even exist, or was I grown in a tube as just another specimen?

His journals - the Cetra, Jenova...that was the turning point. When Hojo found out the creature wasn't an ancient...he had never been kind...but that was when the cruelty began to rot his mind.
I'm a monster I thought again, staring fascinated at my too long, too slender hands.
These were made for killing.
But, no, I am SOLDIER, I work for the people; I do good and I've never even cared about the fame or glory like the other guys.
Is that because I'm just a killing machine?
I'm not known as humble, but...surely my motivations were more than just success and death?

Why didn't they tell me?
When they told Angeal and Genesis - might I have left with them? ShinRa needed me...to..neutralize..my...brothers? No, not brothers. They were Hollander's work, different somehow. They're not dark, empty inside like I am. They are at least...partially human.
I'd had my suspicions, when Hollander made the research...not public, but available to me. I had been curious, read each and every page a dozen times - there was nothing to indicate that I was like them.
Because you're not like them, my own voice echoed deep within my brain.
No...I wasn't. Was I worse? A monster? Or, could I be different, use these talents for something more than destruction?

Reading his notes, I began to hate Hojo even more than I thought possible. Never had I thought about just how much of my childhood was missing, my memories...blocked, taken. Whether that was by materia or trauma I did not wish to ponder.
I'd brushed it off, not knowing any better. My whole life had been Hojo and ShinRa...but...that was not...normal. I had to stop, to get out, I did not want to remember any more. He would, he did torture me! I can withstand so much pain now, that was the point...but...it had hurt so much. I felt...why was I suddenly feeling? He said I was different, but...not like this!
I need air!

Bounding up the stairs, running out to the door; that infantry boy, the one I knew as Cloud, he tried to stop me. "Sephiroth, don't...!" I could not talk, wanted nothing to do with mere humans as I ran.
He'll live, at least ran through my mind as I restrained my sword arm, instead landing a right hook square into the blonde's jaw. Forgive me...
You're a monster! - the voice was...not my internal voice but...odd...I don't know, I needed to think.

Why did you restrain your sword, you were made to destroy? the evil that I was asked a while later as I trudged, dazed, through the forest.
Was that my...mother? - the question ran through my mind as I remembered the frozen beast. I was like her, a beast, a plague unto the planet.
Why not get revenge, kill them all? it asked as I continued my trek.

"I don't know...what am I?" I whimpered to myself. Wait, I was - am - Sephiroth...general 1st class...what was I doing whimpering?
"I don't know..." my own voice, sounding small and tired, answered. How could I...live? Was I even truly living now? I woke, I ate - mechanically as it was a bother to delay my training - and then worked. Missions, training, training missions...the occasional music or reading project from Hojo. Him again! He had done this...why?
To help you...kill...more.

NO!

I did not want to be a monster. I wouldn't! I would not be like Genesis...or Angeal...terrorizing not just ShinRa, but people - useless insects that they were, there was no reason to cruelly pull their wings off. I would stay here, maybe...stay in the forest. There were other monsters...like me, out here. I could kill them - even if I am a monster, I can try...do something...something good. Eventually I'll starve, die...maybe have done something less than evil with my life. I was empty, a vessel needing a purpose - kill monsters - that would be it.

Kill monsters? But you're a monster? I thought to myself.
"Yes...I'm a monster," I mumbled...dazed...confused. Should I...did it count...if I killed...myself?
Yes.
"No, something seems...that doesn't make sense. I can kill more the longer I'm alive."

Talking out loud to myself, lost...I wandered. "There's a cliff nearby...maybe if I just fell...the darkness would go away..."
Yes.
Not quite seeing straight I stumbled, trying to remember a map of the area. My mind was foggy...mushy...so unlike me...

"EEYYAAARHRRRRNNoOOOOooooOooo! FFFUUUUUCCcckkk...no...no..."
*Crash!* *Clang!*
I heard the noises, fighting...fighting monsters...like me. Maybe I could join them? Or kill them? I did not know, but felt compelled to follow the sounds. I came upon a clearing, stepping forward, but remained outside of the wan circle of torchlight that illuminated the area.

My instincts, taking control of my broken mind, prompted me to take stock of the scene. There, on the ground, dead it would seem, was a great blue dragon. The grass around the creature's mouth was still frosted white, icy evidence of a failed last attempt to escape that final fate.
A fierce beast; shame the civilian got involved, I thought, coldly, as I noted the nearby body. It was small child, blonde; probably not more than twelve. The dragon had made quick work, tearing out the intestines and puncturing the lungs with its claws.

But I do wonder what killed the dragon...
The question popped into mind as my awareness expanded to take in the rest of the scene, noticing the second large creature rearing on the other side of the light pool. Roaring finally reached my ears and I stood, entranced, to watch the battle.

- to be continued -