Autumn Leaves
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the song here.
Hermione Granger was strolling on a path in a Muggle park. It was a blustery afternoon and her brown hair flew in the air as the wind blew. The sky, which had been a lovely blue yesterday, was now a stormy grey that was reflected in her brown eyes as she gazed at it, feeling that it matched her feelings exactly.
I'm a big big girl
In a big big world.
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel that
I too too will miss you much
Miss you much…
'Two years… Has it been that long?' she wondered sadly as she sat down at the bottom of a tree. In the wizarding world, today was a cause for celebration and people were partying noisily everywhere.
Today, two years ago, Voldemort had finally been defeated.
Unfortunately, it was also the day that Ron had left her.
I can see the first leaf falling
It's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
Like the way I'm feeling inside
It was autumn. She had always loved autumn. When she was a mere toddler, she had already been playing delightfully with the leaves of red and gold, fascinated with how they would fly down from the trees.
A yellow leaf was falling down now, landing softly on the ground. She had liked watching them floating down. It always reminded her of the story of how a boy cheered up an unhappy princess by dropping 100 leaves above her.
It was starting to get cold, like how she was feeling now and always since that day. She missed him so much and she still could remember vividly that day…
I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel that
I too too will miss you much
Miss you much…
He and Harry were about to set off to duel with the Dark Lord, and hopefully to defeat him. She couldn't go. She had to help out with healing the many injured witches and wizards. She could still remember the feeling of frantic desperation as she pleaded with him not to go.
"Please, Ron, don't go." Crystal tears effortlessly slid down her face s she held on to his arm, refusing to let go.
"I have to," determined blue eyes met her anguished brown eyes. "you know that."
Yes, she knew. Ron always had treasured his friendships. No matter what, Harry had to live, or the Dark Lord would continue terrorizing the magical world.
But that didn't stop her from wanting him to stay…
Outside its now raining
And tears are falling from my eyes
Why did it have to happen
Why did it all have to end
The rain soon came drizzling softly down on her, just as it had when Harry came back bloody and grimy, exuding a sad kind of triumph.
He was holding on to Ron… who was on the brink of death.
There was nothing they could do, nothing she could do. They all knew there wasn't any hope for Ron to stay alive.
Hermione simply sat beside him, smoothing his hair and holding his hand. She couldn't feel anything, just an emptiness, a huge void in her heart. She had never felt worse in her life.
When Ron had regained consciousness, she had still been sitting there. His bright blue eyes found hers, with a realization in it.
"I'm dying, aren't I?"
Her first tears slipped down.
"I'm not going to allow you to die, Ron."
He smiled weakly, but then winced in pain.
"I'm afraid you'd have to." He barely whispered the sentence.
More tears fell and splattered on Ron's arm. His own eyes were brilliant with unshed tears.
"You promised me, Ron."
"I know," his eyes pierced through her, full of pain and anguish, "I'm sorry."
There were innumerable tears now, falling… falling.
She wrapped her arms around him tenderly, not wanting to hurt his injuries. "I love you."
His voice choked as he whispered back "I love you too."
And with that, he left.
I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel that
I too too will miss you much
Miss you much…
It finally sunk into her when Ron left her there, alone. The heartbreaking pain in her shattered heart was unbearable. Pain that was so intense she couldn't feel anything else. She cried, and cried.
I have your arms around me
Warm like fire
But when I open my eyes
You're gone…
Now as she sat under that tree, leaves swirling down around her while the rain continued to fall. It was as if the sky was crying with her as well, remembering Ron. A breeze of wind blew around her.
Soon, mellow sunset light bathed her, as a glorious sun was setting at the horizon. It reminded her of the time when a gangly seventeen-year-old Ron had sweetly stammered out his love to her.
I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel that
I too too will miss you much
Miss you much…
Pure joy had enveloped her then when she heard it and she had immediately hugged him tightly as the sun set behind them, as if it was beaming onto them and wishing them happiness forever.
Now as she recalled it, a bittersweet smile curved her lips. She hated how Ron had left her too early, hated the Death eaters that had taken him away.
I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel that
I too too will miss you much
Miss you much…
Slowly, she knew, gradually the pain would go away. But she knew that she could never stop missing him, never stop loving him, and that she would always come here on this day every year.
It hurt too much to let him go.