S4E12: Did You Imagine?
(title song by Lumidee)
Most of life, is about the unexpected. Life is a rollercoaster full of crazy twists and turns. Ups and downs. We spend most of our time, trying to prepare ourselves for that rollercoaster. We fight our hopes, and expect the worst but does it really make a difference, when the element of surprise comes into play? Are we ever really prepared?
Derek Shepard sat at the nurse's desk flipping through his newest patients chart. The nurse's desk was a place he frequently sat these days, because Rose often passed by as she was going from patient to patient. Things with Rose had been going quite well. It was much different than with Meredith; good different he assumed. She was mature and ready to have a life. His pager suddenly went off.
"Never mind, he's right here," he heard a familiar woman's voice coming from around the corner, along with high heels clip clopping toward him. He looked up knowing that there was only one person it could be, "Derek Shepard," Addison said with a smile.
"Addie!" Derek said in surprise and stood up to hug her. He leaned casually against the desk, "So what happened to you, you just left... were you in LA?" His train of thought jumped around.
"Uh, lets talk about you instead, I'm gone, what?" she thought, "And all hell breaks loose," she said plainly.
He laughed, "You would think the evil would leave with its ruler, but that's not how it works I guess," he kidded.
"Seriously Derek, Do you listen to the gossip around here," she said pulling up a chair to sit next to him, "Karev is sleeping with Lexie and Eva or Rebbecca, whatever the hell her name is, Mark is in love with Haun?" She said in confusion, Derek laughed at that. "And Callie and George? What the hell happened with that?"
"Yes," Derek said softly, "I have found a way to finally step away from the drama."
"Yeah," Addison said her voice switching from confusion to bitterness. "I heard about that too."
"What is that suppose to mean," Derek asked starting to get defensive.
"Derek," she looked at him soberly, "what are you doing?"
"So you are on her side too," Derek spit.
"No, I just don't understand how you could do that to her," she raised her voice slightly, "again."
"Yah, the first time was for you," he raised his voice. "To try and fix our train wreck of a marriage."
"And you didn't learn anything?" Addison asked sternly. "That leaving her the first time was a mistake,"
"Is this what you came back here for to lecture me?" he asked defensively.
"Damn it, Derek I was there, and I watched you pine for her--" Addison froze as the sound of her pager went off. She looked at it and realized she had to go. "This conversation isn't over,"she motioned and then quickly continued down he hallway.
Erica Haun was waiting for the elevator in the lobby. As it opened Mark suddenly appeared behind her.
"Dr. Haun," Mark nodded mischievously as he entered the elevator.
"Dr. Sloan," she nodded back, only she was quite a bit more professional.
"Do you know what they say about these elevators?" Mark asked Erica playfully as the elevator doors closeed.
"I've been here for quite a while, Mark, I'm not completely deranged." She admitted, as she reached for the 3 floor button.
"Erica, listen," Mark began.
"It is Dr. Haun when we are in this hospital," she insisted.
"But you just called me Ma-" she cut hims off.
"Uht," she pointed a finger at him. "When I agreed to this little...whatever we are, we said that we would be completely professional at work."
"I have never been in your OR, I am not a distraction," he insisted shrugging. "And am I professional with anyone at work," Mark asked with his Mark grin. They went up two floors and the elevator door opened. Alex Karev walked on.
"Dr. Sloan," he nodded, "Dr. Haun."
"Karev," both Haun and Sloan said at the same time, with the very same nod.
"What do you guys like practice that?" Alex asked rudely.
The elevator doors opened slowly revealing, "Addison," Mark said in surprise.
"Addison," Alex echoed seconds later.
"Oh this should be fun," Erica mumbled.
"Mark," Addison smiled. "Karev," she cleared her throat. Some how after all this time, he still made her feel uncomfortable.
Addison boarded the elevator as Alex and Erica got off, "You gonna get off here Sloan," Erica asked waiting for him.
"I'll be down in a minute," he said not taking his eyes off Addison. "There's uhh... Something I uhh... have to do."
"Right," Erica said flatly. Mark seemed to be unaffected by her demeanor.
He noticed a change in Addison, she looked glowy and full of life. "LA, looks good on you," Mark smiled.
"Thanks, and look at you," Addison returned the smile, "You have a real relationship for the first time in your life. I can't say you didn't just ruin it by riding up here with me but," she shrugged, perching her lips slightly.
"So, what are you doing here?" Mark pried.
"I have a case actually, an important one," Addison explained.
"Anything I can help with," Mark asked kindly.
"No, not really, just pink and squishy things," she laughed.
"You're not back for good?" Mark asked.
"No, just for this case and then I'll be on the next plane to LA," she answered.
"Right," he answered.
And there it was, the pain in his chest. He thought it had gone away, he thought that he really might have true feelings for Erica. With the tapping of Addison's Jimmy Choo's, Mark watched his potential true feelings for Erica walk out of the elevator with the only woman he had ever truly loved.
"Meredith," Lexie called out, trying to get her attention. "Umm two things," she said nervously. "One I need a consult on Mrs. Parker in 720, and two I was wondering if we could go to Joe's after work and get a drink?" Lexie and Meredith's relationship was growing stronger over the last few months but Meredith had always been the one to initiate. This was Lexie's first time, and she was nervous.
"Lexie, relax you're not asking me on a date, I'm your sister," Meredith glanced down the hall to see Rose. "And I could use a drink anyway." Lexie followed her glance.
"Right, Okay," Lexie smiled. "So 6ish?"
"I umm," now Meredith was nervous. "I have something to do. 7 okay?"
"Yeah, great," Lexie answered.
"Oh and this is Ms. Parker's chart," she handed it to her, "Christina already called me."
"Are you going to talk all day or are you going to get some work done?" Bailey asked passing by.
"God, do you think she'll ever stop bossing us around?" Lexie asked watching Bailey disappear into a room.
"No," Meredith shook her head and then continued down the hall and took the elevator down to the pit.
Her pager suddenly went off and she went to the entrance for the trauma. Christina appeared there also. The paramedics rushed someone through the door. "Frank Lawrence, 38 years old, GSW to the head," the paramedic said. Derek walked into the ER and ran quickly toward them.
Meredith instantly lifted her hands off the gurney, "Yang, all yours, I don't do Neuro if I don't have to,"
Derek watched Meredith walk away, Christina started to update him, "GSW to the head, no previous heart problems or health complications," Christina noticed he wasn't listening. "Shepard!" she yelled to get his attention.
She updated him again, "Take trauma room 2," Dr Shepard insisted, "And prep the OR," Derek excited the room and went in the Trauma room across the hall to pull himself together. His talk with Addison early had made him uneasy. Moments later Meredith rushed into the room with another Neuro patient.
"I assume you've got it from here Dr Shepard," she asked not looking him in the eye.
"No, I haven't been updated," he told her.
" Tara King, 32 years old, car accident, still has a pulse, but has been unconscious since the accident, appears to be brain dead," Meredith explained. The rest of the staff had exited the room now.
Derek check her eyes and then a few other functions. "We'll watch her for six hours and then call it," he answered.
"We'll," she asked.
"Damn it Meredith," Derek raised his voice, "when are you going to grow up?"
"If you haven't notice, I've grown up quite a bit," she yelled back. "But if it involves you, never. If you ask me anyone will say that I don't have to be mature about this. You left me once for the wife I didn't know you had and then the second time for a freaking nurse," She yelled. "I will never be mature when it comes to you."
"You think this is easy for me," he yelled back. "Everyone is on your side. Everyone hates me, I'm the bad guy that left poor little innocent Meredith Grey."
"And you think that I haven't been the one at fault, I will forever be known as the slutty intern that slept with her married attending. I have been the one everyone hates Derek. So don't act like you are all alone in this. Do you think it is easy to see you with her?"
"Do you think it was easy for me to see you with Finn or one of the thousand one night stands you had," he yelled.
Christina watched from across the hall as she waited for the scrub nurse to enter and take her patient away. Rose walked down the hallway but froze as she heard Derek and Meredith yelling. She turned to look in the window of Trauma room 3. She watched them fight for a moment.
"You were married, it was different," she yelled.
"But that still doesn't mean that I didn't love you," he yelled.
"Stop it, Derek," she yelled.
"You stop it, stop making everyone pity you," he yelled, her eyes filled with tears, " I have to hear shit from my x-wife about leaving you this Morning. And now I'm fighting with you, I'm done with this,"
That startled her, "You talked to Addison? What did she say to you?" Meredith asked quickly.
"Yeah," Derek calmed slightly. "She yelled a little and then got paged, we never finished the conversation," he answered. "She's in town for a case."
"I heard something about that," Meredith answered.
"Can we just be done with this fighting thing?" Derek asked softly. "And go back to being co-workers?"
"No," Meredith shook her head. "I don't see how we can do that," she headed for the door. She paused before opening it. "We've never been just co-workers."
"Meredith," he called her name.
"What, Derek?" she yelled. "What do you want me to say?"
"I want us to be civil and not have our problems interfer with our work," He yelled
"Me too," Tara suddenly said groggily.
Meredith and Derek both jumped and looked to Mrs King, "You're awake,"
"Mrs King," Derek suddenly transformed into the amazing doctor he was. "Can you feel this," he said touching her leg.
"No," Tara answered,
"How bout this," he touched her other leg.
"No," she repeatd.
"Dr Grey could you please order a CT and any other tests you think are necessary," Derek said not looking away from Mrs King.
She opened the door and walked out without looking back. She looked into the Trauma room across the way, Rose was standing there, Meredith's glance shifted to the ground.
"How much of that did you hear?" Derek asked playfully.
"Oh a bit," Tara responded.
"I'm sorry," Dr Shepard said.
"I'm not, I'm a soap freak, drama is my drug," she smiled.
"Well you are certainly spunky for someone I nearly declard brain dead."
Her face suddenly got serious, "Dr Shepard, am I ever going to walk again?"
Derek grabbed Tara's hand, "I will do everything in my power to make sure you do," he smiled
Tara breathed a relieved sigh, "Okay... In that case can I hear the drama now."
Derek's pager went off, "I have to go, I'll send in one of our nurses to keep you update."
"Saved by the bell," Tara smiled. Derek Laughed and excited the room. Rose was standing in the hall.
"She okay?" Rose asked.
"I don't know, she can't move her legs. Can you sit with her and keep her update?" Derek asked, touching Rose's arm.
"Sure," Rose nodded. She walked into the room and sat in a chair next to the gurney. "I'm Rose," She smiled.
"Tara," she smiled, "are you my nurse?"
"Yes," Rose answered.
"You work in this hospital all the time right?" Tara asked curiously.
"Yes," Rose said.
"Okay so what's the deal with the hot Doc and his slutty intern?"
"Umm, I'm not sure what you are talking about," Rose was uncomfortable but dangerously curious.
"So the dirty blonde haired doc... I think her name was Grey, and the hot one...Shepard that's right. Anyway they were yelling at eachother for like 15 minutes, they thought I was out the whole time. I tried to get their attention but they were so intense they didn't even notice," Tara rambled, "From what I pieced together they were together twice and he left her both times for another woman. I watch alot of TV, right, so I pretty much can forsee the next step in real life. You know, because the real world is really just a giant soap. Anyway whoever this chick is that he's dating now, doesn't stand a chance. If they've been apart for three months and still have that kind of passion, its never going away." Tara finished realizing she sounded like an idiot, "I'm sorry, I'm rambling,"
The truth is, we can never really prepare ourselves for what is to come.
Rose was stunned, she couldn't believe that the patient had just told her all of that, "I have to go ummm... check on another patient," Rose left the room quickly trying to pull herself back together.
We can expect the worst,or anticipate our feelings, but we never really know how we are going to feel in the future.
Derek is sitting in chair in the lobby, the one he has often gone to when he needs to think.
This crazy rollercoaster we call life, is full of unexpected moments, moments that will tear us apart, moments that we will redirect us, when we have strayed. The outcome of our decisions, are paths, cannot be predicted. We can never foresee the problems we will face, the people we will fall in love with, or the people we cannot forget. Maybe life is not life a roller coaster, maybe it is more like the ocean,
Addison walked into a conference room. It was entirely empty except for Meredith, who sat nervously on the other side of the room. Addison walked to toward her and sat in the chair next to her. She smiled, "Now can you tell me what is so important that I fly all the way back here from LA?"
and in the blink of an eye, a storm can sweep through,
Meredith swallowed hard, terrified of what she was about to say, "I'm pregnant."
And knock you off your feet.