Title: I Have to Say I love You in a Spell
Author: Along Came the Spider
Summary: Remus has something to say.

Part One: Even the Stars can Laugh at You

Sirius stood and looked up at the dim apartment. He didn't want to go home, home was cold and empty. After seven years of living in a dorm it was odd to be the only one. He had asked all of his former roommates if they would room with him after Hogwarts, but James married Lily a few months later, Peter's mother wasn't letting him move out and Remus hadn't wanted to be a burden. Sirius had tried to protest that Remus would never be a burden, but his friend had been adamant about not wanting to live with Sirius. 'And now he doesn't even return my owls or anything.'

Sirius sighed, he didn't like to think of Remus living off on his own. Who knew what he was doing for full moons, or how he was supporting himself. The Ministry had made sure that few people would risk the hiring of people with Remus's 'problem' and the man had never taken proper care of himself anyway. Some people within the order said that Remus's withdrawals were signs of unstableness, and that he should be kicked out or locked up. Sirius and James were nearly always able to put these people in their place, but it was becoming harder and harder as Remus withdrew more and more.

'Why bother?' Remus had asked the last time James and Sirius had confronted him about the issue. 'People hate me, that is just the way it is.'

'We like you,' James had protested. 'Misters Padfoot and Prongs would never abandon their companion.' Remus, however, had shaken his head and disappeared.

"Are you just going to stand down here for the rest of the night?" A tired voice said from behind him. "Because the air smells like rain, and I for one don't fancy getting wet."

"Lily kick you out already?" Sirius joked.

James grinned at him, "You seemed a little down earlier, so Lily told me to follow you. I think her intent was that I keep you from throwing yourself off a bridge."

"Huh," Sirius said still staring at his window. "I want to go home."

"I do believe that you are home," James nudged him. "Unless we're both very lost you live in this building in front of us."

"I live here all right," Sirius murmured. "But it isn't home."

James said nothing just raised an eyebrow at his friend.

"I miss the community that we had back at Hogwarts." Sirius looked at the other man. "I miss your snoring, and Remus's fidgeting. I miss waking up to find Peter frantically searching for his missing homework."

"I don't," James shrugged. "I like being able to get out of bed and be assured that there are no dung bombs beneath my feet."

"I keep forgetting you had no younger siblings." Sirius looked back at his window.

"You hate Regulus with a deep passion," James said dryly. "You have nothing good to say about him, in fact you only rant about him and have for years. Are you really telling me that you miss having your bother around too?"

"Look," Sirius shook his head. "Just go back to Lily. I am not going to commit suicide."

"No," James said softly as he reached out to touch Sirius's arm. "Come back to the house with me."

"I'll just be in the way," Sirius pulled away. "You and Lily don't get enough time alone."

"Look at it this way," James said reaching out again. "If I leave you in this state, Lily is not going to be able to sleep. She, and I, would both feel much better if you would just come over for the night."

"I shouldn't," Sirius bowed his head. "But I will any ways, for Lily's peace of mind."

The two friends both glanced up at the dark apartment once more, before apperating away.

Sirius woke up when the curtains of the room he was sleeping in were thrown back sharply. As the room was on the east side of the house the sun shown directly into his eyes.

"Rise and Shine!" A cheerful voice chirped at him.

"You are going to make a terror of a mother," Sirius groaned as he sat up. "I pity the kid."

"You'll pity the kid right up to the point of spoiling him to the extreme." Lily grinned. "You can't fool me Black. You're looking forward to this birth just about as much as me and James are."

"Your kids are probably going to be the only ones I'll have," Sirius leaned back. "So of course I'll make the best of it with them."

"Come off it!" Lily said sharply. "You could get married."

"Be serious Mrs. Potter," Sirius rolled his eyes. "Now that I've been disinherited what do I have to offer?"

"Your stunning good looks, quick mind, and a willingness to see a women as a person." Lily replied. "You'll make a fine husband."

"Already have your gown picked out for the wedding?" Sirius hazarded.

"You bet." She smiled. "And I can have it adjusted if I am increasing at that point in time."

Sirius pulled the covers over his eyes and waited. No footsteps left the room, so he cautiously peaked over the top. Lily stood, her hands on her hips. "Are you quite done being a child?" She asked with a raised brow. "Because if you are then I'll make us up some breakfast."

"James?" Sirius asked.

"Already at work." She tilted her head.

"Ah," Sirius rolled out of the bed onto his feet. "Are you implying that I should be at work."

"I know perfectly well that you have no need to work." Lily smiled as she moved through the room and out the door. "I just think you need something to occupy your time."

"So that I don't keep ending up sleeping in your guest room?" Sirius dogged her footsteps out and down the stairs.

"You know that both James and I love having you over." She corrected him as they entered the kitchen. "I think that James truly misses having you three around."

"Last night he said that he didn't miss us at all." Sirius sighed and sat down.

"No, he said he didn't miss sharing a room with you," she stuck out her tongue. "He does miss not having the whole of you around though."

"How would you know?" Sirius inquired. "It isn't like you were standing there with us in front of my building."

"I was worried about you," Lily busied herself with something from the icebox. "So I had James cast one of those 'spy' spells so that if he needed it I could immediately get to him."

"You thought I would murder your husband?" Sirius leaned back.

"Don't be silly!" she laughed. "You wouldn't hurt a tick on your dear 'prong's' head."

"James told you about Prongs?" Sirius drawled.

"I wanted him to go for Animagus, so he had to confess." Lily turned the stove on. "And Remus had told me about him being a werewolf years ago. It was during our fourth year when I was chasing after him, he was attempting to scare me away I think."

"Poor James," Sirius grinned. "The girl he is chasing after, and she only has eyes for his mate."

There was silence as Lily set about making pancakes. The dishes, utensils and condiments came flying at the table from all corners of the room, this caused Sirius to duck under the table.

"Seriously now!" Lily snorted when she turned around to see where he was.

"I am Sirius," he climbed out.

"It was never funny." Lily set two plates down.

"So answer me a riddle," Sirius said after a moment of chewing.

Lily didn't answer but motioned for him to continue.

He swallowed, "You said Remus was trying to scare you away, I take it that you didn't believe him?"

"I believed him, after I calculated that he was indeed gone every full moon," Lily said. "I was just a very determined person."

"We never noticed that you were going after him," Sirius mentioned.

"I was either very subtle, or Remus was just not letting you guys see it." Lily shrugged.

"'Kay," Sirius said shoveling food into his mouth. "I can buy that."

Lily raised an eyebrow but the expected question never came. She held her peace for a few more minutes of Sirius feeding himself before asking, "Aren't you going to finish your question?"

"I thought I had," Sirius mumbled. "You weren't scared away by the fact that Remus is a werewolf, which was very nice of you."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yes, but don't you want to know why I eventually gave up on Remus as a lost cause?"

"Remus isn't a lost cause," Sirius raised an eyebrow. "A little reluctant to go out into the limelight, but we can't all be Heroes, otherwise who would worship us?"

Lily grinned. "I don't get you sometimes."

Sirius smiled happily. The smile faded as Lily leaned forward. "What are you afraid of?"

"I don't have any idea what you are talking about." Sirius moved his chair away from the table slightly.

"Don't you," Lily smiled.

"No, I don't."

"Well, I'll tell you anyway," Lily considered him. "Remus told me..."

"Stop." Sirius stood up. "Look Lils, it isn't really for you to tell anyone anything Remus obviously told you in confidence."

"It wasn't really in confidence," she laughed. "He just wanted to get rid of me."

"Still," Sirius took a step back. "I don't think you should tell all and sundry."

"The only person I am telling is you." Lily shook her head. "And I would think that you are friend enough to Remus that he needn't worry about you spreading this all over the place."

Sirius hesitated, his natural curiosity warred with his desire not to pry into the life of a friend who had made it quite clear recently that he wanted nothing to do with Sirius. He finally sat down opposite his best friend's wife.

"Remus said that the reason that he couldn't get involved with me was because werewolves mate for life." Lily announced.

"So?" Sirius blinked. "That doesn't seem like enough of a deterrent for a determined Lily Evans."

"And it wasn't." Lily agreed, "at that point in time I romanticized being a life mate into epic proportions."

"So?" Sirius prodded when she got up to pour herself another cup of tea.

"So?" Lily mimicked. "I thought you didn't want me spreading Remus's secrets out to all and sundry."

"You are a dead women," Sirius growled.

"Relax," She sat back down. "I won't keep you in suspense for too long, but you have to admit that I am having fun while doing it."

Sirius snorted and glared at her.

"You begin to look like Snape when you do that," Lily observed.

A horrified expression crossed Sirius's face.

Lily smiled again. "Getting back to Remus, he also told me that he had already found his life mate and that I just wasn't it."

"Huh," Sirius looked up at the ceiling "A rather anticlimactic ending to your story."

"Well," Lily said. "That is life for you."

"You are an evil evil woman, you know that?" Sirius snorted. "Get me all hot and bothered and you don't even know who Remus is bound to for the rest of his life."

"Why do you care Sirius?" Lily's brow creased. "Last night you were damning him to hell because he didn't return any of your owls anymore."

"Last night I was drunk." Sirius said coldly.

"Does that mean that we can't take your inheritance and run off to the ends of the earth leaving all of our lives behind?" Lily pouted.

"I asked you that?" Sirius asked pointedly.

"You got down on your knee, in front of James no less, and asked me to forsake my vows." Lily held up her hand. "Now I find that you didn't mean them, I am completely crushed."

"I am doubting the validity of that statement." Sirius sighed.

"True," Lily nodded. "I love James too much to be crushed by a lying philanderer like you."

"I am only too happy that that is the case." Sirius said.

"Because your heart really belongs to another?" Lily suggested. "Possibly Alice, or maybe Molly, or any of the other married women you hang out with?"

"Oh yes," Sirius stuck out his tongue. "Molly, who has a son not that much younger than us, is the epitome of a women in my view."

"And who, exactly, is the epitome of a man?" Lily teased. "If you say James I just want you to know that you can't have him without a fight."

Sirius gave her a look. "Why this sudden interest?"

"Sirius," Lily stood up and walked over to his side. "I have noticed a lot of things that the other's haven't."

"I should go." Sirius stood up and backed away from her.

"I am here for you," She said softly.

"You're a great friend Lil," Sirius moved toward the living room, and it's fireplace, quickly. "But somehow I don't think you could ever solve all my problems."

"I still have two ears though," Lily followed him. "That means I can listen."

"That would be great," Sirius felt behind him for the package of floo powder. "If I had anything to say."

He found the floo powder rather quickly and tossed it in without looking. "Black Flat." He called, and was sent tumbling out of the fireplace in his apartment.

The apartment looked much like it had a few days ago when he had originally left it for the Potter's house. It was light, in as much as the sun came in through the windows; but the apartment as a whole had a sterile un-lived in feel to it. Sirius changed into Padfoot and curled up on the couch. 'Some days it just doesn't pay to be human.'

End Notes:

Yes I did promise another chapter of BIWYW, but I have had writer's block on that story line. Now this one, it appears to be taking off.
- Chapter title was taken directly from the song that inspired the fic.
- Please Review