Title: Shades of Gray
Rating: T
Summary: Inspired by "Good Copy, Bad Copy." Albedo's selfish pursuit of his desires forces Ben to confront his feelings for Gwen. Very dark, and very AU. BxG, AlbedoxGwen.
A/N: Alternate version of my story, "Bad Boys." Posted by popular demand. Partly inspired by "Possession" by Sarah McLachlan. Starts from just before "Good Copy, Bad Copy," then deviates from there.
He felt edgy. Restless.
He'd been cut off from everything that he knew and loved. Completely isolated. He had nowhere to go. He wanted his life back, and the only way to do that was to find Ben Tennyson. Even if he had to destroy him.
How hard could it be to take down a mere human?
He'd gone from galaxy to galaxy, trying to get closer to Earth. It hadn't been easy. Though he had the power of the Omnitrix – or at least, a copy – and could turn into aliens, he was at the mercy of the original. If only he had the real Omnitrix… He could use his superior intelligence and skills to control it in ways that puny human couldn't even imagine.
He yearned to be free.
He'd had enough of the human experience for a lifetime. It was pathetic, this creature he resembled. So primitive. He took comfort in the knowledge that he was superior in every way.
But that didn't make him feel much better these days.
He'd been trapped in this form for so long that sometimes he wasn't sure who he was anymore. Was he really Albedo of the Galvan anymore? The memories of his prior life and identity had started to fade. It had all blurred together. At first, being in this form had felt so foreign, so distasteful and uncomfortable. It still did, but he had gotten more used to it. It didn't feel as strange as it used to, and that really scared him. He had to fight to hold on to those distant memories of what it was like to be himself. Some days he feared he would never be restored to his true self, that he would remain in human form forever.
He tried as hard as he could to hold on to whatever was left of Albedo the Galvan. Because if he couldn't turn back into himself, he didn't know what he'd do. He'd go crazy.
It was the ultimate punishment, being trapped in the body of an adolescent human male. These humans were so limited, he thought scornfully. They were arrogant, mercurial, irrational. Their limited minds had no concept of matters of greater import. The universe was at stake, everyone's fate in the hands of a 15-year-old human, and yet all they could think about was their miserable little lives.
Turning into other aliens gave him a brief reprieve, but never long enough. He always turned back into Ben. A worthless little human with petty wants and needs. It was a wonder that the human race had survived as long as it had. He felt nothing but contempt for these humans. And yet, the form he was trapped in compelled him to seek out what it demanded.
He couldn't read Ben's mind, had no access to his thoughts – and had no desire to, he thought with a shudder – but the rest… The base physical needs he yearned to have fulfilled… Even though he didn't understand them, he had to follow them instinctively.
And now he'd finally made it…
Earth.
He'd traveled all this way to find Ben 10. To steal the real Omnitrix from him. To restore himself. He was trapped in this form, craving things he didn't comprehend. And now that he was on Earth, he could satisfy his desire for these mysterious things. Chili fries – crisp, hot, hearty and spicy. Creamy smoothies filled with the freshest fruits he'd ever tasted. Popcorn – crunchy, salty, buttery, yet surprisingly light and airy. Ice cream – cold, melting, sweet and rich. He'd had no concept of what these things were before. But now that he'd tasted them, he couldn't stop consuming them. They sustained his existence.
He would never understand this human. But being in his form meant that he wanted everything Ben did. He'd had dreamt of all these things that could only be found on Earth. Oak trees. Open fields of green grass that he wanted to run through, exhilarated. The warm flat surface of a fishing rock. Lakes that he wanted to jump into with a loud splash, crying out, "Cannonball!"
He was moved by the setting of the sun. He wanted to race his bike down the hills that surrounded him, the wind whipping through his hair. When he saw a dog, he had the urge to run to it and stroke it affectionately. Whenever a car passed by, he longed to drive it.
He'd been deprived for so long, and on Earth he could savor it all.
Horror movies. Television. Computer games. Music with soulful, rockin' lyrics. The sharp twang of an electric guitar, the pounding bass rhythm of the drums.
A comfortable bed, awakening to the sound of birds chirping melodiously. He'd learned how unpleasant it was to be cold, without shelter. And how good it felt to be powerful, when he could transform into an alien and destroy his enemies, instead of being a puny 15-year-old.
Albedo wanted it all.
But most of all, he wanted her.
She was radiant, a goddess. He was tormented by the powerful dreams he had of her, the images that lingered in his mind. He saw her face nearly every night in his dreams. Emerald green eyes that were a mirror of his own. Flawless skin and long, shining red hair.
He could sense how Ben tried to deny those feelings, the longing he had for her, how he'd managed to repress it and confine it to some small dark corner in the back of his mind. But that didn't make it go away. It only made it worse. It only made him want her more.
He didn't even know who she was, but she was the culmination of all his desires.
(To be continued in Chapter 2…)